IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:55 am November 2, 2010

It’s Election Day! Never Forget

by Riley Waggaman

We are already tired of Election Day

  • Hooray, it’s Election Day! America finally gets to vote out the Democrats, even though voters have a more favorable opinion of Democrats than of Republicans. (Wait, what?) Erick Erickson is already gloating and offering to help you with your resume, because tomorrow John Boehner is going to fire everyone. (Unless you roll cigarettes/work at the orange spray paint factory. Your job is safe and sound. Actually, you get a raise.) Meanwhile, Tea Baggers all over America are already moshing hard, so if you can you should go party/wave Made in China flags with them. Anyway, you should also probably go vote? Share your traumatic voter fraud stories in the comments and/or send hawt polling station pix to tips at wonkette dot com! [NYT/WaPo/Go Vote]
  • A federal appeals court might actually be okay with Arizona’s Mexican law? [SFGate]
  • There is no other news. Go Vote. Thank You.
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Hola wonkerados.

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Terry November 2, 2010 at 8:59 am

I voted early when there were no lines, so I can be smug today with everyone who is looking for time off to go to the polls.

Texan_Bulldog November 2, 2010 at 9:14 am

Me too. Although I had to vote in a grocery store behind about a dozen old folks trying to figure out where to put their walkers and mumbling about the electronic voting machines probably not recording their votes correctly.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:22 am

Yeah, because we all know that companies like Diebold have STRONG left-wing ties.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 9:39 am

Mine was in the local county civic building. I walked in and there were people to direct me to the right table, immediately attentive people to sign me in and if I need translation, then to walk me to the machine. It was sort of what I imagined would happen if I was obscenely rich and walked into a Rodeo Drive store….but less pretentious.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 10:37 am

Same here. One advantage of small-town life.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 10:49 am

I live about a block outside of DC, myself. Nice town in a nice county in a nice State.

SecretMuslin November 2, 2010 at 2:32 pm

I live in san diego and voted in a mortuary today. yay?

blogslut November 2, 2010 at 8:59 am

Morning, Riley!

rileywaggs November 2, 2010 at 9:02 am

Good morning! does anyone have any news for me?

blogslut November 2, 2010 at 9:07 am

Sorry. I was a boring old liberal and voted last week. No news.

I do have a prediction. Bill White will win TX governor and all the teevee talky talks will be spitting nails at the news because they weren't paying attention.

OobyDoobyDoo November 2, 2010 at 9:22 am

Your words to Aqua Buddha's ears.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 9:41 am

That would be awesome. He did a good job as mayor of Houston.

HistoriCat November 2, 2010 at 11:51 am

That would make me the happiest cat in Texas.

Serolf_Divad November 2, 2010 at 9:20 am

Not much is there? There's this: The GOP is going to crush Walmart and the Pharmaceutical industry for their tender, late-night meange a trois with Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi:

So after November we'll have to buy our drugs in Canada and start shopping at Target more.

Other than that I've got nothin'

Terry November 2, 2010 at 9:43 am

You know, this midterm is sounding more and more like the old parable about the lady and the snake. She takes the snake in, feeds and cares for him, then when he warms up, he bites her. As she's dying, the snake says, what did you expect? I'm a snake!

Boehner and his like are snakes, trying to make their scales all glittery and pretty for the TeaPartiers.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 9:31 am

I may have another Children's Treasury of Christine O'Donnell Moments/Liveblogging O'Donnell's Concession/Victory Speech by the end of the day today…. this has to be the weirdest campaign season EVAR in Delaware, and it doesn't end with O'Donnell…

Badonkadonkette November 2, 2010 at 9:32 am

Hey Riley – here's a percolating news story: John Boehner's panties are in a bunch because (he says) Barack Obama said people who called him chickenshit, said he had anti-American views, said he palled around with terrorists, said that Republicans needed to "break" the first black President, and said they care about nothing but defeating him in 2012 at all costs, were "enemies." Can you imagine the nerve?

Sparky_McGruff November 2, 2010 at 9:40 am

John Boehner is clutching his pearls in horror! Well, when he's not clutching his bottle of Ol' Grandad and a carton of Camels..

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:53 am

The ol' grandad now, he drinks that, or mixes with tang to form a thick paste, which he then applies liberally to his skin?

Haha, liberally.

bitchincamaro2 November 2, 2010 at 10:16 am

4 Americans were gunned down on the browner side of the Tex-Mex border. One could speculate that the murders were drug related, perhaps boosting the chance that Prop 19 will pass. Nah. All the victims had Mexican surnames. No story here.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 9:47 am

Once again, an overly priviledged 20 yr old white guy is lonely and gets involved in something highly inappropriate on the internet. Too bad it wasn't just pr0n.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:54 am

Can someone let Bill Maher know that he needs to be scared of people named "Zach" now please.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 10:04 am

I find that a good rule to live by. Zach and Jason.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 10:04 am

Oh well, as long as were posting articles about wacko young Americans, this guy waterboarded his girlfriend:

But John Yoo said it was cool, so it's fine. Whatever happened to just inventing "pills that give worms to ex-girlfriends".

bitchincamaro2 November 2, 2010 at 10:22 am

This is what "anti-establishmentarianism" has come to. Whatever happened to cutting the soles off your shoes, sitting in a tree, and learning to play the flute?

slappypaddy November 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

and keeping your strength up with hot buttered groat cakes.

HistoriCat November 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

Damn it – an hour to go until lunch time and I've already read the pancake piece from last night and now you're talking about hot buttered groat cakes.

Respitetini November 2, 2010 at 9:00 am

So, how long until our new overlords (same as the old overlords?) force us hoi polloi into a trade-and-barter economy?

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:24 am

If bottlecaps work for money in the Fallout games, they'll work for us in real life, dammit.

HistoriCat November 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

How many bottle caps equal a set of TruckNutz?

slappypaddy November 2, 2010 at 9:02 am

here comes the sun. open the gates and stand back, the crazies are being set loose. as my favorite vulcan might put it, this should be fascinating.

4TheTurnstiles November 2, 2010 at 9:03 am

Voted early this morning in the 22030. Gerry Connolly is a Bad Man because he's associated in some way with something called the Pelosi, according to some fat guy I'm supposed to take seriously.

Sparky_McGruff November 2, 2010 at 9:42 am

You know that he's single-handedly responsible for the deficit. He's a busy guy, apparently, trying to kill our childrens and spends their money. I'm informed, I'm watching the ads on the teevee.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:54 am

Voted on my way to work this morning, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a good number of people their; usually my polling place is empty in the mornings except during Presidential elections. It's an urban majority middle-class black district, so no teabaggers.

Our Senate race is neck and neck and I'm really hoping we don't get stuck with Toomey right after dumping the embarrassment of the frothy mix; but there doesn't seem to be much hope in the Governor's race.

bagofmice November 2, 2010 at 9:06 am

11/2/10. Nevar forget!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:08 am

Voted. Passed a crazy, screaming, incoherent bunch of Teatards on the way to work. Felt justified that, although they may win the day, I've done my part against their raving idiocy.

In a way, it's a win-win scenario. If, by some miracle, the people in power actually do good things and turn this country around, then it is good for us. If their policies instead drive this country into a ruling class of plutocrats being tended by herds of winning (and unwilling) serfs, then at least we have sarcasm, satire, and schadenfreude to see our way through.

Ducksworthy November 2, 2010 at 9:32 am

Were they screaming for Brains…Brains? Gawd knows they need them.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:37 am

That, at least, would've been funny. No, it was a huge "conflating-politics-with-religion" rally, complete with several signs mentioning "In God We Trust" and "One Nation Under God". There was also a quote about limited government by Reagan (who expanded government to unprecedented levels) and insinuations that if you didn't vote right-wing, you're going to hell. So, yeah, totally typical.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 10:41 am

I trust God all right, but a lot of her children need to carry drool rags wherever they go.

ALIVE! November 2, 2010 at 9:41 am

If you drove past a screaming bunch of Teatards and didn't turn the steering wheel towards them, then I'm afraid you didn't "do your part." Just sayin',

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:45 am

I have to admit that I do draw the line at premeditated murder… and honestly, isn't it better that the people they elected get into power and then proceed to fuck things up in EPIC proportions, so that they can only sit back and stare, their mouths agape with horror, not wanting to admit it but KNOWING, deep down, that they brought this nightmarish hell on Earth upon themselves?

Sorry. I just recently read "The Handmaid's Tale".

Gleem_McShineys November 2, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I think the problem with this theory is that these people don't operate in the realm of realizing anything 'deep down,' because that sort of thing is not what is shown on teevee… Or in your observed teatard-tribe, the pulpit.

PsycWench November 2, 2010 at 9:13 am

Election Day is a lot like Christmas Day…there is much anticipation a month ahead, but by the day itself you're just ready for it to be over and to go back to normal life.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 9:32 am

That sounds more like marriage to me.

PsycWench November 2, 2010 at 9:44 am

It sounds like the actual wedding to me, which is why Mr. PsycWench and I eloped.

All three events also have in common that they cost a lot of money that in hindsight could have been put to better use.

bagofmice November 2, 2010 at 11:36 am

So there's money to be made in the sight of that hind?

Chet Kincaid November 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

[This] Election Day is a lot like [major, life-threatening surgery]…there is much [fear and dread] a month ahead, but by the day itself you're just ready for it to be over and [hoping to wake up alive].


deanbooth November 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I voted by mail two weeks ago. It feels like I opened my Xmas presents the day UPS delivered them and now I have nothing to unwrap.

Mindblank November 2, 2010 at 9:14 am

Never pass up a chance to kick a Teabagger in the TeaNutz. With your vote, of course.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:15 am

I see, it's like one of those "Second Amendment remedies but not actually with guns" that Obtuse Angle always talks about.

GeoatBeck January 4, 2011 at 4:15 pm

You'd think after getting yours handed to ya, you would wake up.

twogoats November 2, 2010 at 9:16 am

And after today no taxes, right?

slappypaddy November 2, 2010 at 9:19 am

that's right. no police, either. you did stock up on bullets, didn't you?

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:21 am

Oh, there'll be police. You'll have several highly-rated security companies to contract with! And you'll be sure to pay protection money to ALL of them, because this is a nice place you got here, be a SHAME if something were to HAPPEN to it…

elviouslyqueer November 2, 2010 at 10:16 am

Today we are all slaves to Blackwater/Xe.

Lascauxcaveman November 2, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Not if we shoot first.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:50 am

Tomorrow, we are all Colorado Springs!

( – don't feel bad for them, they're a bunch of right-wing douches who brought it on themselves).

CapeClod November 2, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Awesome! Get Focus on Family to tell Jesus to water their parks!

Lascauxcaveman November 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Couple of vacation possibilites in year 2014. Colorado Springs or Somalia?

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 2:34 pm

I LOVE the cognitive dissonance in the comments of that article. The article LITERALLY says that low taxes are to blame for the budget problems, yet that one guy keeps insisting that isn't the case. It's just… I mean… of all the… Jesus, we're all doomed.

CapeClod November 2, 2010 at 9:29 am

Just be sure you write that check for your fire department subscription and get it in the mail today.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:46 am

I'm afraid they won't cover you due to your pre-existing condition — you're made out of flammable materials such as carbon.

elviouslyqueer November 2, 2010 at 10:15 am

I am cueing up "Burning Down the House" THIS VERY SECOND on my iPod in honor of this comment.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 10:26 am

THANK YOU for this suggestion. I am now doing the same. Hell, I forgot it was ON my iPod!

Edit: And after that on the "Best of Talking Heads" soundtrack is "Road to Nowhere!" So appropriate!

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 10:34 am

Even better, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire; we don't need no water let that motherfucker burn".

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 11:01 am

The ever-popular "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)".

medicarehandjob November 2, 2010 at 9:16 am

Well, at least we get to return to the same leftist nihilism/paranoia we grew to love under Dubya. Time to pretend we like war and take advantage of the tea party's free booze. Erickson's already tuning his swagger to bed a post-loss, drunk Christine O'Donnell.

samsuncle November 2, 2010 at 9:21 am

I live in a red state and today I went to the polls in the pouring rain and voted a straight dem ticket. I doubt if any of my candidates will win but I am proud to have supported my party anyway. Fu*k the GOP.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 1:20 pm

This is Wonkette… no need to be coy.


DaSandman November 2, 2010 at 9:21 am

No cops, but lots of teabags, teabagging, bad spelling and meth. FREEDUMB!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:26 am

Look on the bright side… maybe a huge increase in meth users will lead to folks demanding socialized dental care.

Serolf_Divad November 2, 2010 at 9:23 am

I voted at 7:00 (before the polls officially opened to white people), will be voting again at lunch time and once more after work… because I'm an illegal Mexican and we're allowed to do that by law.

CapeClod November 2, 2010 at 9:25 am

I just hope I can push my way through the teatards clutching their local death roles when I vote this afternoon.

GeoatBeck January 4, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Vote to get your free stuff before it dies up.

babyeinstein November 2, 2010 at 9:25 am

oh oops shit, excuse me while i go do same-day registration so i can cast my vote for vince gray…

Ducksworthy November 2, 2010 at 9:30 am

Nov. 2, 2010 shall go down in history … let me rephrase that. History is actually now over. Today is the day our reptilian overlords regained their rightful mastery over the our civilization (USAmerikka only) and the pace of mass lobotomies accelerated 100 fold.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 9:41 am

As a nation, we get the government we deserve. Apparently we've been a baaaaaad nation.

Ducksworthy November 2, 2010 at 11:27 am

</snark> I blame it on slavery <snark>

justkillmenow November 2, 2010 at 9:35 am

Voted last week in a vacant store front on the edge of campus. It was like performance art of our failing economy. But I was happy to play the role of the socialist.

Steverino247 November 2, 2010 at 9:35 am

Well, I get to vote to put Meg Whitman's head opposite the other Half Dome in Yosemite today. About $200,000,000 of her money to do it. Perhaps Governor Brown could break a bottle of bubbly on it at the dedication ceremony…

Susan Sarandon called me from Minot, SD to ask me to vote for Prop. 19 about 9 p.m. so I guess I should if she was up that late making calls. Maybe she was in line at Taco Bell?

And a special message to Nevada voters from Steverino: Yes, Harry Reid is a dickless, clueless Senate leader but don't inflict that crazy bitch on the rest of us, will ya?

HempDogbane November 2, 2010 at 10:09 am

Correction: Minot is in the North Dakota Congressional District, rather than the South Dakota Congressional District. Susan was almost to Canada, which we will be invading soon, because thanks to gridlock we can't get it up for Iran.

Steverino247 November 2, 2010 at 11:53 am

Yeah, you're right! So why did my caller ID say SD? Maybe the phone co. here in CA has already voted on Prop. 19–with their bongs.

HurricaneAli November 2, 2010 at 10:12 am

Clinton called me and told me not to vote for Kendrick Meek. Just kidding!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 10:49 am

Hey, she bought that vote FAIR AND SQUARE.

OCKerouac November 2, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I got to vote for pot, and Jerry Brown. It's the closest I'll ever get to living through the 60's…

freakishlywrong November 2, 2010 at 9:36 am

So, January 2, 2011 will be the first subpoena of the birf' certificate?

PsycWench November 2, 2010 at 9:41 am

If any of the GOP are as old as me (at 50 I qualify as a Young Gun) they will remember how well their persecution of Bill Clinton worked out.

Ducksworthy November 2, 2010 at 11:30 am

Probably saved bin Laden's life though, so there's that. Look how much good bin Laden did for them. Allowed them to bankrupt the country.

DCHatesMe November 2, 2010 at 9:37 am

Remember , all yard signs, bumper stickers and political buttons will become invalid after today. Pick them up and drop them off at your local polling place to be destroyed. Help keep America beauitful.

Beetagger November 2, 2010 at 9:40 am

Looks like I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue.

BarryOPotter November 2, 2010 at 11:01 am

I wouldn't say you picked a bad week to quit, but rather your decision to quit is flawed.

A bag for me!
A bag for you!
Let's get wrecked on bags of glue!

–The Rubber Bandits, Bags of Glue

forgracie November 2, 2010 at 9:44 am

Alex Sink is hawt!

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 9:46 am

Voting was not exciting this morning here in Philadelphia. There were a couple of Republicans handing out sample ballots too close to the polling place. I took one but voted the opposite way (and I'm certain that the look on my face told them that was going to happen). But they told me to have a nice day and thanked me for voting as I left anyway. City of Brotherly Love!

Terry November 2, 2010 at 9:52 am

I thought the motto "City of Brotherly Love" was strictly ironic.

HistoriCat November 2, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Needz moar Black Panthers.

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 9:11 pm

They were around, but not at my precinct. And they didn't have weapons this time, so Eric Holder can keep his pants on.

Had they been at my precinct, they would have been beaten up by the scary handbag-wielding Polish grandmothers in my 'hood.

OCKerouac November 2, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Had you been dressed as Santa Claus they wouldn't have been so cordial.

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Or dressed as Donovan McNabb, for that matter.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:49 am

One thing to celebrate: after today, no matter things turn out, those fucking annoying ads will be over with; for the two years anyway.

GOPCrusher November 2, 2010 at 3:46 pm

And I'm afraid that any race that the Tea Bagger Approved Candidate is not elected, will be followed up with a repeat of the Coleman-Franken travesty of Democracy with months of recounts and every single ballot contested.

rocktonsam November 2, 2010 at 9:51 am

San Francisco smells like weed and sex this morning.

A sign of things to come?

TimeCubist November 2, 2010 at 10:11 am

Business as usual, no?

HedonismBot November 2, 2010 at 9:59 am

Yay! Congress will be so hopelessly divided that they won't be able to pass any laws at all. The GOP won't allow the Democrats to pass their soshulizmz, and if the teatards manage to squeak one through, Obama will veto it (hopefully.) Good luck overriding it. Half – let alone 3/4 – of Congress can't agree on what time the sun came up in the morning.
Gridlock. It's the American way! Sad to say, a lack of progress will at least be better than regression.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 10:28 am

The bitter ass in me would rather they pass a ton of stuff and utterly destroy the nation. Because, you know, I'm not part of Real America, so it shouldn't matter if it crashes and burns, right? Sometimes I think my wife and daughter are my only bulwarks against outright nihilism.

There's also the "boiling frog" analogy… I'd much rather see some sweeping changes utterly backfire, instead of a bunch of tiny things chipping away at us and pushing the Overton Window even FARTHER to the right.

HedonismBot November 2, 2010 at 11:21 am

30 years of Reaganomics done cooked that frog, and apparently a lot of people miss the heat.

johnnyzhivago November 2, 2010 at 10:01 am

I reluctantly broke out a jug of corn syrup to celebrate the evening with our new Republican overlords.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 10:05 am

Maybe it should be a snake and a really stupid mongoose in this case.

Urban_Achiever November 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

Never forget HENNGHH???

HurricaneAli November 2, 2010 at 10:09 am

Just got back from voting – I was so paranoid about getting kicked out of the polling place that I parked my bike way far away (because of Obama sticker). There was an uptight looking dude with a "poll watcher" sticker on in big, black, scratchy letters so it looked spooky. He wasn't taking pictures or writing down anything or anything so I let him live. Saw my neighbors, got my "I voted" sticker. Now all's to do is wait for the returns and cry in my Theraflu (I have a cold).

chickensmack November 2, 2010 at 10:10 am

I am hopeful, and truly believe we won't fear much from the six or seven teabaggers that get elected.

GeoatBeck January 4, 2011 at 4:22 pm

17 elected democrats left their party. Nothing to fear there. Reality can be scary.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 10:11 am

I haven't voted yet, and it really pains me that I no longer live in CT to vote for Blumenthal. However, my rep here in NJ, Rush Holt, has one of the most liberal voting records in Congress, so there is that.

I thought I had a dilemma because my old state senator was the only Republican to vote for gay marriage, and I was very torn about voting for him over the Democrat. But I just read that the guy left in March to head the Port Authority, and the new guy is not for equal rights, so no conflict there now.

So here's the headline they would never let me use when I was a journalist: Vote Early And Often. Democrats can steal elections too, ya know. OK, well, JFK's father could, but still.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 10:40 am

And I believe Holt's safe. Although it can be annoying to be in a safe district; it's the only time I ever start wishing I was in the 'burbs, where we have a number of good, embattled Democratic incumbents battling utter douchebags, and I wish I could be voting for one of them when in my district Chaka Fattah (D) is guaranteed reelection against Sacrificial Lamb (R).

horsedreamer_1 November 2, 2010 at 10:14 am

But: is Alan Keyes moshing with them?

elviouslyqueer November 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

Yep, three comments in to Ewick Ewickson's post, and I really really really want to kick him square in the balls. For freedom, of course.

bitchincamaro2 November 2, 2010 at 10:25 am

I'll go to the polling place as soon as Verizon shows up and fixes my damn phone. I'm not sure which activity will prove more painful. So far, waiting for the repairman wins.

DoktorZoom November 2, 2010 at 10:30 am

Voted futilely for DeonRATS in Idaho; there was a real live poll monitor sitting in back, noting names of voters as the elections folks called 'em out, no doubt checking for zombies. Dunno if he was a TeaPerson or just a poli-sci major–looked to be college age.

Ducksworthy November 2, 2010 at 11:37 am

Hmm. Idaho eh? Were there Wolverines on the ballot? Can a Wolverine join the teaparty? Are there Mormon Wolverines?

reliefsinn November 2, 2010 at 10:38 am

In Bizarro world, NH, today, our local White Supremacist/Embarrassment Ryan Murdough joins a couple of left-wing weirdo soshulizm-loving posters on the Concord Monitor blog in bashing the Tea Party.….

RedneckMuslin November 2, 2010 at 10:42 am

Thanks, I had my Chinese turned on on my computer and I thought you said it was erection day. Imagine the look on my face when I went to my pulling place.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 10:49 am

I was a poll watcher once. Smiled at everybody and read Ulysses all day.

Don_Incognito November 2, 2010 at 10:58 am

Bad news, Wonketteers.

I just voted in my bustling metropolis of Columbus, Ohio. Last time I voted, I shit thee not, it was in a neighborhood public school where all classes are conducted exclusively in French. This time, it was in a big-ass church a couple miles from my house. At the polling place, I was the only voter present who did not have gray hair (or no hair at all). There were about 25 or so olds in all.

We are jolly well fucked, my friends.

Lascauxcaveman November 2, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Meh. As is my custom, I voted by dropping my mail ballot in the drive-through drop box at the county courthouse, which I drive by each day on the way to work.

In line with me were six or seven elderly Toyotas and Subarus, a Prius, a Civic and only a single luxury car (gashog Escalade).

This indicates a Democrat landslide in my district.

deanbooth November 2, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Since Columbus is a university town, there are lots of liberal olds (of which I am one). A friend took a bus to the sanity rally with her 60-year old parents. Just cause there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there's a snowbilly in the pantry (or something).

GeoatBeck January 4, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Who's gonna clean your room in the basement, if not for the old ones?

notreelyhelping November 2, 2010 at 10:59 am

Save us, Wonkette! You're our only hope! (Of getting through today without going out the window.)

petehammer November 2, 2010 at 11:12 am

Even though I'm not from San Fran and don't care about baseball, I think I'll post this 1 million times today. Charlie Krauthammer, October 29, 2010:

"My prediction: The Dems lose 60 House seats, eight in the Senate. Rangers in seven. "

mrblifil November 2, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Actually, two out of three ain't bad…

fatoots November 2, 2010 at 11:59 am

My small town polling place was quite actuve as well this morning. Unfortunately I live in a town that posts big signs that say "HAD ENUF? FIRE FRANK! DUMP DEVAL!"

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Walking over to my polling place in a few minutes. Voting for Prop 19 is the only thing that's going to take the edge off today. Aside from actually smoking some dope. Anyone carrying?

Oh, and also sending Meg Whitman and what's left of her fortune scuttling back to the dank pits of Cthulu's layer from whence she came. Ditto Carly Fiorna. And telling our legislature to go ahead and pass budgets with a simple majority like nearly every other state in the union. And telling out-of-state energy companies to suck it, we like our law limiting greenhouse gas emissions. So yeah, some good stuff today. Doubt it will help when I have to listen to gloating shitheads like Ewick son of Ewick, though, that fat sack of crap.

lumpenprole November 2, 2010 at 12:43 pm

I've so been looking forward to the Whitman/Fiorina anticlimax. Remove the tidal wave of cash and these are two awful jerks that no one likes. Sure people took their money and stuck their faces on teevee all DAMN YEAR, but I've seen exactly one (1) car with Meg & Carly stickers. (I see that car all the time and the stickers came off weeks ago.)

natoslug November 2, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Okay, I've voted, but apparently the taint of Idaho was still upon me. Even though I registered in California with days to spare, I was not on the rolls, so my ballot went into the hot pink provisional/flamboyant envelope to be counted if someone feels like it. I feel so special. It's weird voting somewhere you haven't been in 20+ years — all the old ladies (voting here is held at the neighborhood Ladies' Club) still knew who I was and needed an update on the past 20 years of my life. One of them glared at me for a good part of this. I think I may have dated her daughter.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Yeah, I'm sure the fact that you weren't on the rolls in California was just "a mistake".

Plenty of "mistakes" to be made today in the battleground states!

natoslug November 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Considering I registered 4 days before the deadline, I'm fairly confident it was just an oversight. I am in Humboldt County after all — the elections office was probably too high to process my paperwork in time. Hopefully they didn't use the form to roll anything; I don't want my vote going up in smoke.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Just voted with the new electronic voting machines in NYC.

It went well, I suppose, but doesn't have any of the romance of the old machines with the switches and lever, and the curtains and clanking and clicking and clunking. You used to really feel as if you were really doing something. Now it's just kind of like…meh.

sati_demise November 2, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Voted last week in Az. It felt so good to vote against Jan Brewer.

We have a ballot initiative to "make it against state law to require anyone to buy health insurance." Sweet! One more legal mishmash my tax money will have to finance!

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Can you say "supremacy clause", boys and girls? Good!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Does that mean Arizona is going to arrest the federal government? Damn, that would be hilarious to watch!

Edit: Also, sati, don't take this the wrong way… but FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARIZONA, SECEDE. SERIOUSLY.

GOPCrusher November 2, 2010 at 3:54 pm

We have a candidate for Attorney General for the state of Iowa who sole campaign was to file a lawsuit to stop Obamacare. She never has prosecuted a case or done anything else in her lifetime that would remotely qualify her to be a Attorney General.

sati_demise November 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm

But we also have medical marijuana on the ballot.
Everyone pray it passes!
please god let this one nice thing-in the pile of crap offered- pass into Az. law.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 2:01 pm

I, for one, will head to my local soshalist gubbmint-run public school to cast my straight-Democratic votes, including a vote for Yale Divinity and against Vagina Dentata… then I will head home to watch the returns on TeeVee, where I will have several bottles of hard liquor at my side for ready consumption in the event Vagina Dentata actually pulls out a win.

I got this ominous email from the Yale Divinity campaign about an hour ago encouraging me to make GOTV calls because voter turnout was lighter in New Castle and Sussex Counties than "we are comfortable with" … which, for Sussex County, Delaware's Jeebusland, is a Good Thing… but shit like this makes me afraid that Ms. Dentata could actually be elected, notwithstanding the polls.

binarian November 2, 2010 at 2:40 pm

In this election cycle, anything is possible. Upside being, plenty of fodder for Wonkette staff.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Yale Divinity sent out an email at 5:30 telling us that voter turnout was, in fact, OK now and that we should keep working on getting out the vote. Meanwhile, Vagina Dentata's campaign got its hands on the original email and it went viral. Suddenly a narrative emerged on the Twitters and the blogospherez thanks to a similar email from the Blumenthal campaign: "ZOMG even the safe seats are in danger!!!111" I almost had a heart attack….the thought of O'Donnell as my Senator is enough for me to move to Prince Edward Island….

emmelemm November 2, 2010 at 3:13 pm

God, I love my all-vote-by-mail state. Not that I don't love the thought of going to my neighborhood school/church and commingling with the Tea-Partyin' masses or anything…

Actually, where I live, it's all smiles and sweet, sweet soshalizt lihbrulism all the time anyway, so it's not so bad.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 6:53 pm

And sweet, sweet marryjewanna too, if it's the Oregonz, yes? I don't know how you all handle those endless ballot measures and telephone book sized voter guides to interpret said ballot measures…

emmelemm November 2, 2010 at 7:01 pm

No, iz Washington state (you know, the "other" Washington). We do not have a pot measure on the ballot this time (unless I totally missed it), although we have in the past. (We have medical marijuana, and there was a measure which kicked enforcement of mj laws down to "lowest priority". But we still haven't fully legalized it, and most importantly, TAXED it.)

Personally, I was really not happy with the esteemed Mr. Holder announcing that even if STATES legalize merry jane, the Feds are still going to bring down holy hell on offenders. What the fuck? Priorities much? And I don't even smoke pot, I just think it's ridiculous.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 10:15 am

In my experience, boys of those names tend to have parents with really whiney voices who call loudly for their offspring in public places.



Annoying as heck.

Sparky_McGruff November 2, 2010 at 11:29 am

I'm pretty sure the yellow comes from within. You can find that color at your local home depot, just look under "Boehner Jaundice Orange". It's the color of alcoholic liver failure and nicotine mix with his douchebag personality.

slappypaddy November 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

my wife and i sang the chorus of that (the only part that we olds can master) on the drive to the office this morning. actually, the world we knew ended a while back.

CapeClod November 2, 2010 at 12:02 pm

If we're making a playlist for this election day then I'll throw in "Tell Me Why" by Neil Young.

lumpenprole November 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm

"California Über Alles!" I get to vote for Governor Moonbeam! Thanks for nothing eBay Creep! Thanks for months and months of boring television.

Lascauxcaveman November 2, 2010 at 1:41 pm

20-year old privileged white American Jihaddist named Zach?

Boy, that kid is really mad at his parents.

Terry November 2, 2010 at 1:44 pm

I'm thinking they made him stop playing EVE and start looking for a job.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Is an anticlimax what you see when you watch porn backwards?

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