america fights back

Was Pedobear At Comedy Central Rally? Yes He Can!

Alert the Central California/Oklahoma sheriff's departments.If not for known Islamic person Cat “Yusuf” Stevens singing a terrorist song about the desire for peace on Saturday, this picture would be the most offensive thing to come out of the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally on the National Mall.

Our beloved Wonkette operatives, Mr. & Mrs. Mumbletypeg, sent this wonderful photograph and also went to the Wonkette Halloween Party. And yet they were not arrested and sent back to Kenya. Why not?

Tragic.Meanwhile, in Seattle, it rained. And some people went outside anyway, to hold a ritualistic “The Comedy Thing In D.C. Is Not Happening Here, Even Though We Technically Live In ‘Washington.’” Thanks to Wonkette operative “At Fyfe” or something like that … we can’t really figure out that name.

Yeah, and what's your point?Now you know why the person ahead of you in the voting booth is taking so long. Photo by famous Wonkette operative “Lily E.”

Related

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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346 comments

    1. Extemporanus

      I like to masturbate the way I like to vote: early and often…and also in the presence of screaming children and clipboard-clutching senior citizens.

  1. SheriffRoscoe

    The voting booths here at my local precinct afford me no privacy to masturbate. Without any curtains, they're more lectern than booth, which is why I've done my voting and masturbating from home since the last few election cycles.

    1. x111e7thst

      In the bluer parts of US Amurrica a masturbatorium is often provided right beside the polling place. Most people vote and then go rub or drub it at their leisure; but the more politically engaged (e.g.Acorn) often race from one to the other several times before succumbing to exhaustion and friction induced inflammation.

    2. trondant

      Some people are naturally shy about "pulling the lever" in public. With practice, you can overcome this hangup and live life to its fullest.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        In the state of Washington, we vote by mail, so that means in the privacy of our own homes. Just sayin'.

    1. transfatz

      I understand why those drones are circling over that California hospital but I can't help wondering how Carly got them to tow "Use only genuine HP supplies" signs.

  2. V572625694

    One of my favorite terrorist fight songs:

    I built my house from barley rice
    Greenpepper walls and water ice
    Tables of paperwood, windows of light
    And everything emptying into white.

    1. user-of-owls

      The puns you mean, of course. There really should be a law. Or a ley. Or a lei. What I'm trying to say is Exto should get laid. By the biped, quadriped or centiped of his (or her) choosing.
      Yeah, I guess that's what I meant to say. I'll refrain now from trying to engage the poor exto in a bit of ox/rat badminton, though it is a fun way to determine who's been around the Wonk-block. Sort of like tree rings.

      1. Extemporanus

        Sorry not to have returned the ol' reach around sooner, you two, but I just spent the last 24 hours humping it from DC back to SF, and boy are my abductees tired!

        But seriously…they really are beat. And so am I — I couldn't meat out any more puns I meant if I tried.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      The "Baby Daddy was a Rapist" contingent wasn't represented?

      The world needs more Lemonade Babies and Trig's, also, too.

      1. An_Outhouse

        While I think The Wayback's advanced the cause of inmate parents everywhere with their song "Conjugal Visit", "Baby Daddy was a Rapist" is just screaming for catchy accompaniment.

    2. Dr_pangloss

      Yeah she should trot out the Lemon flavored Rape babies like the Shrub did with the "Snow flake" babies. That should get her more votes than the "evbil Messican" ads.

  3. Bonzos_Bed_Time

    So is that Scalia there to the right of Pedobear with his hand down his pants?
    They probably went out shooting after the rally.

    Then cruised some playgrounds.

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      Too right, follow his eyeline, and it intersects the leetle gurl on the left. The prosecution rests y'honour…….

    1. fuflans

      we thought about it!

      but then, we thought about navigating crowds and the cta and travel times and secret service and thought better. so we watched it on our computers where there was liquor.

      it IS a drag getting old.

      1. lochnessmonster

        Oh, I agree with your logic…and it IS a drag getting old. Were I my kids age…I'd have been center stage!

  4. One_who_wanders

    Possibly the favorite sign I have seen is "The Mad Hatter wants his Tea Party back," though the older gent with the "I fought Nazis and they didn't look anything like Obama" was pretty darn special.

    1. kenlayisalive

      oh, the second one. That's fantastic.

      That man has +100 pee score and he doesn't even know it.

  5. PublicLuxury

    Did you notice that Pedobear was passing out lube? Excellent for lemonade making and masturbating hussies with broomstick vibrators. In fact, wasn't there a boot that just sold sexual toys and other useful items like tasers and lasers? Thomas was sponsoring it. Everybody got a free coke with purchase of pubes.

  6. facehead

    I'd recognize the inspired work of Lily E. anywhere, clearly our photo laureate.

    Here are some signs I saw:

    "My arms are tired"

    "I have to leave early"

    "Texans For Staying In The Union"

    "The Jews Control The Synagogues!"

    "Skynard Tickets Here"

    "I like Pizza!"

    I had half-hoped to spot some swanky Wonkette-editor-type person, but then realized I'd probably only recognize Riley, and maybe Jack Stuef (he's basically a red-haired Chewbacca, no?).

    All in all, I had many a hearty laugh at the expense of our less than sane brethren. For those of you who didn't make it, don't bother to read any boring 'analysis' or whatnot — you missed the best event of the decade, so just start crying now.

    1. finallyhappy

      I didn't see here but I am amzed that I actually saw some of these signs(or ones just like it) We saw one that said "If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate"- HAHAHA- science!!

  7. NorthStarSpanx

    Someone should have had a sign with Joe Miller's face that said: "I ran for the U.S. Senate and all I got was disbarred"

  8. bagofmice

    I'm fairly certain I saw Kev-O-Tron at the Seattle shindig, with his "I shaved my balls for this?" sign.

        1. di_da_is_alpha

          Yea!!!! The user-of fowls is back!!! I thought maybe you blew a gasket, and was out shooting up all things Marine. Gotta a joke for ya;

          Whatdaya get when a spotted owl flies into a wind turbine? Owl Gore.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Why does Kevin always wait until a thread's a few days old before starting shit with everyone?

      1. To avoid being banned.

      2. To avoid being shown wrong as no one is really paying much attention to the thread a that point.

      Though I guess that "cowardice" would have been a shorter, more to the point, answer.

    2. glamourdammerung

      When not trolling Wonkette, he can be found rating his internet purchases of furniture.

      Or bragging about trolling here/trying to coordinate backup at other sites. That clearly indicates a life full of meaning and purpose.

      That last part was sarcasm, Breitards.

    3. x111e7thst

      If you set the google translation thing to English – English and type "Kevin" you get back "A day late and a Goldline Amero short".

    4. Kevin Stowell

      I bet it's because he doesn't march to any particular drummer and is a self-determining person who doesn't adhere to herd-think nor herd behavior.

      Sincerely,

      Someone else the identity of which you morons are too stupid to figure out.

        1. Kevin Stowell

          Technically, you're right about the non sequitur. I just don't have enough respect for any of you to concern myself with running with your herd or being folded into your herd-think. Continual crotch-talk just isn't that interesting unless you're six.

          1. BarackMyWorld

            Translation:
            Running with your herd- being funny.
            Being folded into your herd-think- making sense.

          2. x111e7thst

            Cur non mitto meos tibi, Bellus, libellos? Ne mihi tu mittas,Bellus, tuos.
            Translation: Poopyhead

          3. not that Dewey

            That had to be intentional, right? What does it even mean?

            Or is (s)he just that bad with an online translator?

          4. di_da_is_alpha

            Heheheh I 'm blushing. It's been a long time (30 years) since I've had to listen in on commies. Guess I'll have to practice.

        1. Kevin Stowell

          'Sorry, didn't mean to confuse you.

          Correction:

          "Someone else the identity of whom you morons are too stupid to discover."

      1. transfatz

        All your independent rhetoric cannot conceal the fact that Karl Rove's cock is so far up your ass that it is sticking out of your mouth.
        Two thing are certain when your corporate johns pay so much in advance:
        1) You will be required to move and moan.
        2) There will be a paucity of lube.
        Just sayin'

        1. Kevin Stowell

          Eureka! I knew there was an irrefutible answer, demonstrating rapier wit and inerrant judgement! Well, that, or just another dumbass post by a Pampers-wearing moron. Sometimes the two are indiscernible. Gotta admit, though, that "paucity" thing has piqued my interest.

          1. transfatz

            David Vitter, I am you. Thank you, thank you, I couldn't have done this without Kevin, and special thanks to bagofmice. I'm pleased to accept victory for the Wokette Skum Party in the Louisiana race.
            I assume Vitter's wife comes with the honor. (doggie please honey…oops!).
            As for the scat / diaper thing, This is one of the few things I haven't done. Who did you say is doing the diapering? CARLA BRUNI OR INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT!

      2. lulzmonger

        Or maybe because it lets him get the last word in, allowing him to pretend that he's not actually wasting his life trying to troll people who don't give a fuck.

        Also – what kind of cipher coins cheeseball neologisms like "herd-think" & then considers them SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS? What are you, 12?

        Sincerely,

        Someone who could care less who you are.

        1. Kevin Stowell

          Awww, busted!

          "allowing him to pretend that he's not actually wasting his life trying to troll people who don't give a fuck"

          Sure, lulz, that's how that is. Ha ha ha ha! If it embarrasses you to answer me, don't answer me. Exercise a little self-control, Darwidiot.

        2. GreasyRabbit75

          Why are you chiming in with your 0bama-devalued two cents if you don't give a fuck? Also-what kind of mental giants coin such snappy repartee as "Poopyhead"? What is the age of the average poster here, 3?Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

        3. Redhead

          You better watch out, making fun of his serious business, or he'll backtrace you and send the internet police, and consequences will never be the same!

  9. twogoats

    There were many wonderful signs including Hyperbole is Destroying this Country, South Carolinians for Fwere Daily Show Mentions, Ban Comic Sans, I Spell Check My Political Fury, etc. I am sure ace photog Lily E. capured more.

    What is lacking is a disciplined, thorough going Wonkette Exclusive investigation into the large group of folks with professionally done signs ranting about "Japan, Black Hole of Child Abduction." This did not appear to be an ironic group.

  10. itgetter

    I was proudly carrying my "I can see sanity from my house!" sign, but my favorites included:

    "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it!"
    "I'm Muslim *and* gay. I will blow you."
    "The world is ending, but not for a long time. Do you want to grab ice cream or something?"
    "End tyranny! After lunch."

    And, of course, honorable mention to the member of the wonkette contingent who showed up in costume with the "Get a brain, morans!" sign and proceeded to perform political theater during the event.

  11. Neoyorquino

    "Now you know why the person ahead of you in the voting booth is taking so long." Whatever, as long as they clean up afterward. (At least I'll know it wasn't an O'Donnell influenced vote).

    1. GOPCrusher

      Surprisingly enough, Jon Stewart didn't have to ask attendees not to bring signs for fear of them sending the wrong impression to America. That in itself, speaks volumes of the class of people that attended this versus the Teatards that attended the Glenn Beck Retard Rally.

  12. rocktonsam

    how long is it going to take these women to masturbate in the voting booth?

    I only have a half hour for lunch.

  13. di_da_is_alpha

    Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelley, Helen Thomas, and Keith Olbermann are sharing a railcar on their way to an event. The train goes through a tunnel and in the dark a loud "SMACK" rings out. When the train exits the tunnel, Olbermann is rubbing the side of his face, which now has a big, red handprint across it.

    Thomas thinks; "Olbermann must have tried to cop a feel off Megyn, and she slapped him."

    Kelly thinks; "Olbermannn must have tried to cop a feel off me, got Hellen instead, and she slapped him."

    Olbermann thinks ; O'Reilly must have copped a feel off of Kelly and she tried to slap him, but hit me instead."

    O'Reilly thinks; "Man, I hope we go through another tunnel, so I can slap Olbermann again."

    1. kenlayisalive

      Hey everyone, it's douchebag comedy hour here at our wonkette.

      They'll be here all night folks. Because really, what the fuck else do these two losers have to do.

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        //// "…..here at our wonkette. " ///

        YOUR wonkette? Is there a secret handshake? How did I get here? Why doesn't Layne just let the regulars comment? Could it be that he is a capitalist, and the more folks that comment and read said comments on this site puts more $$$$s in his pocket?

        Tell me if I'm wrong, I suppose he could just do this for fun. I mean, I have a lotta fun tweakin' you clowns, but I wouldn't turn down any money if someone were to pay me for it.

        1. kenlayisalive

          Jeeeez, you're really a touchy little bitch tonight.

          Yeah, our Wonkette, your BigBreitFart.com.

          Wonkette – Sarah Palin jokes.
          BriefFart – People wishing "Hitler had got them all"

          our Wonkette, your BigBreifBarf

          1. Ein_Rant

            Sarah Palin jokes about Wonkette? Don't worry – She won't have the time once she defeats Obama and becomes President.

            Scribbled notes on the hand are better than a douche that uses a teleprompter at staff meetings…

            Our first Marxist/fascist, err.. Black President will be replaced by our first 'redneck'/real American… err, female president…

          2. lulzmonger

            Oh my. You actually think Palin would take that big a pay-cut … for a job that requires hard work, emotional maturity & intelligence … where she actually has to answer questions!

            Now THAT is primo comedy.

            PS: do NOT Google "Sarah Palin using teleprompter" under any circumstances – Real America is counting on you to KEEP TEH DREAM ALIVE!

          3. dogscantlookup

            Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
            hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
            hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
            hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
            hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
            hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
            "Our first Marxist/fascist, err.. Black President" Just say nigger you coward that is what you want to say. " err.. Black President"
            nigger nigger nigger fucking coward. Die of rabies you sibiling fucking humunculus

          4. GOPCrusher

            Don't think America will vote for someone who will quit halfway through the first term. Just spitballin.

          5. Kevin Stowell

            Scribbled notes on the hand are better than the leader of the free world using a teleprompter to address grade schoolers.

          6. di_da_is_alpha

            Nope, not touchy at all. You lefties are the "touchy feely" types. I just like to point out facts, which always pisses lefties off.

            So, does Layne make money off of this site or not?

            And I think I'll just make wonkette mine too. Brother.

          7. kenlayisalive

            I'm not your brother dude. Your brother is the guy you french kissed as an "experiment".

            I'm just some guy on the internet.

          8. Ein_Rant

            Maybe blondie was trying to say "he" is actually more of a sister, brother Alpha… Maybe? Never know with these freaks…

          9. GreasyRabbit75

            Ok, you're my wonkette sister. Sister.Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

    2. kenlayisalive

      Actually reminds me one I heard:

      Republican congressman Mark Foley, Republican Senator Larry Craig, Republican Anti-gay crusader George Rekkers, and Republican Megachurch pastor Ted Haggard wives are going through a tunnel, wondering why their husbands have to work late again.

    3. BarackMyWorld

      I actually thought that was kind of funny.

      You're not going to find too many Olbermann fans on this site.

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        You sure there's not many Olbermann fans here, because it is funny. If you changed the roles around, I'd have gotten a lotta thumbs up, which just shows the intellectual dishonesty of the left. Look at kennie's joke just above your comment. It's not bad, I mean it's better than "Palin has a grating voice, and her pussy stinks !! Hahahaha.", which is what passes for humor on this site more often than not. And Trig jokes.

        Now while kennie's joke is not BAD (if you put Hillary in there, it would appeal to those on the right), it's not really very GOOD either. So he doesn't deserve a vote up or down. But thank you for your honesty.

        1. SheriffRoscoe

          Hey di da dum dee dumb, Breitbart called. He found out you had his butt plug and were using it for your binky. He wants it back, and you better not have sucked it all out of shape LOL.

          1. GreasyRabbit75

            Oh, we've got us a mental giant HERE! Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

          2. Ein_Rant

            Millions of 'Americans' voted for Obama -most of them were alive at the time, too. Millions more will vote for Dimwitcraps again on Tuesday…

            In light of that information, all I can say is: "What were you thinking?"

            Heh-heh… These guys are douche bags…

          3. GreasyRabbit75

            Yep, looks like ken is getting more unhinged by the minute. I think his head might actually explode. As if we could ever be that fortunate.

          4. kenlayisalive

            Dude, getting the taste of Andrew Brietbart's butt out of di-da-dildo's mouth would be like trying to take the white off of rice.

          5. di_da_is_alpha

            Your mom say she spending the night here with me and for me to tell you that it's OK for you to come up from the basement, but if you watch your Chip'N'Dale videos on the big TV, be sure to use your sticky sock. You know how hard it is to get those stains off the couch.

            And you trying to make fun of my handle (which you still haven't figured out the meaning of, I take it) was already done by "liberal larry 10" over at the "Say Anything Blog". It was lame when he did it, now it's just boring AND lame. Do keep it up, pardner. That's an order.

          6. SheriffRoscoe

            Yeah, well will you please come and pick up your dad? After I banged him he told me he didn't want to leave. But dude, your dad's so loose, I'm not even sure that I was the twentieth or thirtieth guy to plant the flag, if you catch my meaning. Your dad is hella clingy, dude.

          7. di_da_is_alpha

            Good boy. I see you obey orders pretty good. But can you please try to be more original? Now try again.

    4. lulzmonger

      Wow, this is SO much funnier than it was when it was a priest, a rabbi, a drunk & a pretty girl!

      Bob Hope, eat your heart out!

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        Bob Hope told that? I never knew. Did you catch the Olbermann joke I told on another thread? The one about the Guinness world records?

        1. sati_demise

          you fail to be a interesting troll. too needy. too dumb. you realize this is the website for people with dirty minds? you may be dirty but there is no mind involved….so snooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeee what a bore.

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            Yeah, I know. If I see a bug crawling on the floor, no matter what I type on the keyboard, it ignores me. But I find bugs interesting to watch. Entertain me some more.

  14. DCValleyGirl

    I got my picture taken with Pedobear too! Although he wasn't holding a cool sign in my picture, he did have small children frolicking at his feet. Hello, Christmas card!

    1. Bluestatelibel

      I hate to disillusion you buddy, but we are most likely looking at a two-term president. Your little orcs may take over the Congress for two years, but that's about it.

      1. Kevin Stowell

        I suspect you may be right. The education system in this country, with willing abettors in the media, has done an incredible job for the last fifty years or so dumbing down the electorate. The people who voted this know/do-nothing in would have voted for one of their own kind–a hammer. An ignorant electorate has always been the only hope Demmunists have ever had for being elected.

          1. Kevin Stowell

            Hey, Ken, Happy Sunday to ya'! You really need to quit being so "clingy" though and, yes, that dress does make your ass look big.

          2. kenlayisalive

            Dude, the only thing that clings to you is stink, lice, and and your three-weeks-straigh-without-a-wash g-string.

        1. Bluestatelibel

          Actually, surveys show Dems tend to be better-educated than Repubs. You need only compare the literate signs displayed yesterday to the illiterate gibberish displayed on teabaggers' signs–the latter of which has resulted in much mirth on this site for one. But let your little people have their big day Tuesday–it isn't going to last.

          1. Kevin Stowell

            Tell me more about those "surveys." I've heard all that Regressive mythology. I bet you have all the same links to that I have.

            Identifying with people who have law degrees and Imagining that, through identifying with them, that makes you smart is a little insane though. Barack Obama couldn't change a tire without sitting in a classroom for a half a day.

          2. Rebas_Thgil

            Kev, there may be something to the idea that the libtards have a few more degrees than conservatives. They keep going back for more sheepskins when they find out that they really didn't 'get it' during the previous try and are marginally employable at best. Meanwhile, those of us who actually CAN, DO. It's what pisses them off and drives them to demand that we get taxed more…..to redistribute the money back to their sorry selves. Still, waiting to see those surveys as well.

        2. lulzmonger

          So this must mean that the born-again Texas Textbook satraps are actually in cahoots with those evil "Demmunists" now? Wow, we're through the rabbit-glass here, sheeple!

          Actually the US was keeping up in education, industry & high tech until 1980 – NASA, pioneering personal computers – but then it started sliding downhill fast … hmm, I wonder what happened in 1980?

          Also, the real reason the GOP runs such nasty attack-ads is because it knows they depress voter turnout – they have admitted that fewer voters at the polls is the only way they can win elections any more, because their policies now have such a rock-solid track-record of epic fail … which also explains their use of (illegal) vote-kiting & (unethical) intimidation tactics at polling places.

          YAY DEMOCRACY!

      2. GreasyRabbit75

        I think he may have to ACTUALLY walk on water, instead of just thinking he can, to pull that one off.

        1. dogscantlookup

          We can all walk on water in the border states with Canada in the winter. Yay, we are all better than Jebus, Trig help us u iz a sad also

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        "Squawk, poopyhead, squawk"

        Look !!! Another user-of-fowls" !!!

        So, are you another parrot, or something new? A myna bird, perhaps? If you are, watch out for that Kevin Jennings clown. He likes fisting mynas.

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            He's a "user-of-Als". Do you know why he had the breakdown last week? He won't tell me and I'm really concerned about his mental well being.

      2. di_da_is_alpha

        "Squawk, poopyhead, poopyhead, squawk SQUAWK !!!"

        Polly wanna cracker with that Kool-Aid?

        The "poopyhead" thing isn't going to cut it with me, so ya better think of something new, but I don't think you progs can. Being stuck in the '60s must be a real nightmare, huh toots?

        1. lulzmonger

          Yeah, all that icky sex & the nasty scary drugs, not to mention that disgusting jungle music … what a nightmare!

          PROTIP: Google "sex" for details.

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            Just because I don't go online and talk about sex doesn't mean anything. I know that those who brag the most, usually get the least. I quit drugs a few years back, nothing good ever came from using them. I could tell stories, but why bother? I don't need folks that I don't know giving me a "thumb up" to feel good about myself. Someday, maybe you'll grow up, but if you're over 30 or 35, I sincerely doubt it.

            And what's "jungle music"? I like Black Sabbath, the Offspring, Seether, AC/DC, and the Cult, to name a few. Is that "jungle music"?

          2. dogscantlookup

            "I quit drugs a few years back"
            Well there's your problem! Cum back, cum back, to moresex we will take you.

          3. Redhead

            "Just because I don't go online and talk about sex doesn't mean anything."

            What, no parrot reference? Come on, you're breaking character man. First rule of trolling – never let them know when they've struck a nerve. (Second rule of trolling: never talk about trolling.)

    2. GOPCrusher

      Breitbart must be back to paying his 50 cent a post rate to get his fans to post on other message boards.

  15. Mumbletypeg

    My only regret is we didn't approach Pedo to join Mr. Mumbletypeg in a pose for the camera, one that would recreate that special memory of Breitbart engaging in hump-tastic iniquity w/ Riley.

  16. snoopyfan2010

    Is it just me or has the Wonkette developed a certain bitter quality about it??? I could find this kind of garbage anywhere else on the internet so please drop the ban hammer!

    1. GreasyRabbit75

      Yes indeed! Drop that ban hammer. Show us that freedom of speech you libs are always crowing about. Too. Also. As well.

        1. di_da_is_alpha

          No, but tell me, is Layne a capitalist? I really don't know, maybe he does this for free as some kinda public service thing. But if he's a capitalist, I can't see him banning anyone unless the numbers go down. Right now, I'd guess they are probably up.

          If they do start to go down, he'll have two choices; either start banning folks who aren't part of the echo chamber, or pull a reverse Ed Schultz, and start doing posts of a more conservative viewpoint.

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            Shit. Here I thought someone was going to answer my questions, or refute my statements, and all I get is another dimwit.

          2. Ein_Rant

            Dude! You are at Wanker… Did you really expect anything but dimbulbs? C'mon now… You want intelligent responses to your musings? Go back to the Bigs… I do admit that I share your smiling disdain for these little douche-bags though…

          3. dogscantlookup

            Are you a socialist? you drive on public roads, do you would want a public fire department to put out the fire in your house? do you want a police department to catch and prosecute the crimes against your family? No you want the free markkket to decide. If you don't like some socialism in your government, you can move to Somalia. Dick dick dididi dick

          4. di_da_is_alpha

            I said in another post that government can be a useful tool. In the hands of progressives, it becomes a dangerous tool. Roads are one of the good things. Socialized medicine is not.

            The free market works. Why do you think there is a shortage of low income housing in NYC? How come the unemployment rate goes up for young and low skilled workers every time the minimum wage is increased?

          5. dogscantlookup

            Well fuck you if you need an ambulance, most responders are not from private hospitals but fire and ems dipshit. You may go to a private hospital, but it takes public (socialism) to get your dumb ass to the fix it place.

          6. di_da_is_alpha

            You're just one of those "I only see things in black or white" kinda folks, ain't cha?

            And what about my questions in the second paragraph? If you don't answer, you make your side look bad. Or should I say "worse". Heheheh

          7. Iam_Who_Iam

            Good capitalists frequently ban assholes. Have you ever been kicked out of a bar? Oh hell, I forgot who I was talking to, I bet you've been kicked out of all sorts of good capitalist businesses haven't you? You’re one of those belligerent assholes the store owners call the cops about when you pull in the parking lot.

          8. di_da_is_alpha

            No, actually I worked for a bar in a college town and had to kick a few folks out myself. Funny thing, the next weekend we'd let 'em back in. Mostly what business owners gripe about is government. Like the smoking bans in bars. The successful bars found a way to get around the bans, though. Just shows how government is usually impotent at best, and down right destructive when in hands of johnny-do-gooders (look above for my post about low income housing and the minimum wage).

            And your insults are quite lame. You need to hang out in the hood and learn to play the dozens.

      1. dogscantlookup

        Government can't ban hammer you, a snarky buttsez luvin bolg can, but is it right? Is it to you? also

    2. One_who_wanders

      Just ignore them if they bother you that much – it's really the only cure for trolls. Even if they were to be banned all they would have to is set up another sock puppet account.

      1. GreasyRabbit75

        Gee, what is the criteria for being banned on this site? Foul language? Nope. Taking potshots at special-needs children? Nope. Making jokes about pedophilia? Nope. Having a different point-of-view than the sheep-herd here? Ahhhhh…..now you've got me. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover.

        1. One_who_wanders

          Try reading what I said again, I suggested that people who were bothered by you guys ignore you rather than try to get you banned.

          1. GreasyRabbit75

            Read it the first time. Perhaps I used the old time-honored liberal tradition of ignoring context and judging the many by the actions of the few. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

          2. One_who_wanders

            In that case I feel even more confident in my recommendation to ignore you and your labored mannerisms. Also.

          3. GreasyRabbit75

            And yet, you just can't do it.Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

          4. Ein_Rant

            Individuals? Why, Ayn Rand would be proud of you!

            You really need to reevaluate the "free" and "thinking" aspects of your comment though…

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            Layne's a libertarian? I wonder why his site only mocks the right? Lotta prime targets on the left. Even Stewart takes itty bitty swipes at the left from time to time. The old National Lampoon had it right.

      2. snoopyfan2010

        You mean ignoring is your only option. It's as if they're looking for a fight and it is getting to be pretty pathetic. The fact that they keep coming back is proof that they need the attention.

        1. GreasyRabbit75

          If we wanted a fight we would just keep smacking around the liberal trolls that infest Breitbart sites (which we do). As for you clowns, it's just fun living in your heads, as smelly as it is. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

          1. lulzmonger

            Successful troll posts once & then lurks to watch the drama, or simply leaves & lets it happen.

            Fail troll keeps posting over & over & over again, trying to create drama with weak noise.

            If Breitards are "smacking around" anyone who posts a single comment, enjoy your fail: YHBT.

          2. CapnFatback

            It is you and all the Liber-eels who have failed because you disagree with me politically and therefore are deluded. My friends and I have come over to show you how you are slaves to groupthink by smartly parroting the themes from Breitbart's/Coulter's/Beck's/Rand's recent web post/masterpiece/peyote-induced fever dream/shriek for the blood of unicorns to restore her life source.

            We try to engage you in the issues on your humor site, but for some reason you ignore us. Clearly, you are flummoxed by our logic, like when you clearly were caught without refutation of my analogy of progressive politics as a heard of rabid lemmings sucking lemon custard out of Lady Liberty's teat as the critters push her off the Cliffs of Objectivity. Hello? Still waiting for a reply!

            When you do reply, it's usually with boring tripe like insults about gay rape or Trig's drooling acumen or facts or "Poopyhead," which is not at all funny or original, no matter how often you say it too, also, conjointly. You also (as well, in addition to) don't respond to what we say and then deceptively take what we say out of context, and you use such big words, which obviously means that you are unschooled and elitists. And you probably want to abort every Christian baby. I'm sure that's the gist of what you're saying.

            If you would just follow the links that we post, you would know that our version of the truth is out there to be marveled at, as there will always be Astroturfers to fund the little guy who wants to fight for the big guy–and, barring them, hundreds of sociopaths in footy pajamas who have registered a web domain. And that gives me comfort.

            But not as much comfort as I get from smackin' Wrong-kettes around by stroking my comrades' hyper-junk. My favorite form of websturbation is posting links to videos because I have recently discovered Youtube and am really entranced by that guy who morphs into all the different dances. I don't know any HTML, so I'll just post the URL, which is just as good because it fills up my comment box. Oh, by the way, Prog-Ruskie-ives, this is you and your Obama Nightmare (not racist! Nightmares can be white, too–in like manner, similarly–this one just happens to be a black Marx on our country): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B5Jnho8dTc

            HAHAHAHA ROMFA, LLADM!

          3. imissopus

            Also allow me to add thusly, too, that if you refute one of our points with links and evidence to back you up we will ignore your answer in order to repeat our original talking point as well as or calling you an idiot, d***head, p*ssy, demand you kiss our ass, etc. &c. You leftists are so intolerant. And racist, I tell you forthrightly, whereas were you to visit Beefheart's sites your leftist opinions would be listened to, respectfully, and refudiated in a tolerant manner, by individuals who do not in any way all think alike. Unlike regressives who hate facts about stuff that they learned from people who aren't Sarah Palin.

            Oh, and we'll use the word regressives a lot as if we just thought it up and can't believe how clever we are. Boy, are we so much more clever than you. Allow me to demonstrate: I'm fucking your mother! Haha, amirite, too?

          4. Iam_Who_Iam

            I read your buddy's posts (sorry, not yours, I can only digest so much waste at one time) and he admitted to enjoying just stirring up the shit… I think his exact words were "poking ant hills with a stick".

            The truth is none of you give a shit about anything but yourselves and whatever false glory you feel you've gleamed through your imaginary battles. You envision yourselves as the David of "David and Goliath", but you really are the *ant of "the Ant and the Elephant".

            *An elephant is resting beneath a tree, the ant approaches and says "I'm going to have my way with that elephant." As the ant goes at it, a coconut falls from the tree and hits the elephant on the head. The elephant cries out in pain and the ant hearing the elephant's cry says "take it bitch."

    3. lumpenprole

      Truly boring shit. I can read the same chest-beating, winger boilerplate at forums hosted by my local paper. I don't want to say this, cuz I've posted here while drunk and often thrown out some mediocre funny, but these trolls are just clutter. They don't even need feeding. They just use the place like a circle jerk IM session.

    4. imissopus

      It's not bitter, Snoops, it's a certain nastiness (somewhere on this thread they're making mother jokes – apparently we're back in fifth grade.) It's pure Breitbart: anything you say, the response is just to out-talk you, ignore your points, call you an idiot, try to catch you in some sort of gotcha exchange ("A-ha! I said this, you said that, thus proving the intellectual bankruptcy of the left!") It's like talking to a wall. Though I did have a civil exchange of views with one of them last week, so not all of them are intellectual midgets.

      If you ban 'em they'll pull out the old "the libs hate free speech" canard, even though they are being banned more for being assholes than for anything they have said about politics. As someone else said, just ignore 'em. Or call 'em poopyheads. Anything more than that isn't worth the effort or the spikes in blood pressure.

      1. snoopyfan2010

        Yes, Opus, I have learned the way of the poopyhead. Just felt the obvious had to be pointed out.

      2. Iam_Who_Iam

        I'm sorry, but they've called me out. I've lived too long here in conservatard land. I use to ignore them, but they seem to draw strength in hearing their own voice echoing alone.

        I think maybe the truth is that we, the easy going peaceniks, recoil at conflict… and fuck that, the teatards are winning just by being loud annoying ass-hats.

        I'm tired, screw that; I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. [At this point you have to envision my throwing open a window and screaming out to the city streets.]

        Fuck 'em… they thirst for battle and I'm ready to play. It's just a damn shame I have a family and a life and I can't sit here in wait for them 24/7. Anyone want to start a "battle the stupidity PAC" so we can have forces here to kick their ass at will?

        1. Patriot2Opine

          Violent much? F'm and feed em fishheads eh? I like fish. Got history? Got industry? Grow up fanatic.

  17. Oblios_Cap

    They think they're pissing us off; it's a form of what the Trigs think of as "humorous".

    And it makes them tingle in their "manly" parts.

    1. GreasyRabbit75

      Don't really care if it pisses you off or not, Pizza Boy. And if you're talking about "tingles", I believe you are looking for Chris Matthews. Too. Also. As well.

        1. kenlayisalive

          No Kevin, there is nothing wrong with you being all smooth down there. Like the little barbie doll you are.

          dickless Retard.

      1. GreasyRabbit75

        You're an hour late with the Matthews reference, genius. Try to keep up.Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

    1. Kevin Stowell

      So it seems:

      Proverbs 21:9 ESV

      "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife."

    1. GreasyRabbit75

      So when is it that you will be "finallyhappy"? When 0bama actually discovers respectability, when libs finally discover individuality, or when you finally discover your brain? Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise.

          1. GreasyRabbit75

            Sadly, that is probably the wittiest thing you've ever said. That being said, you're still a nitwit.Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

        1. GreasyRabbit75

          Sorry, Assface, I didn't see Pedobear showing up at our rally. Looks like you guys are the ones looking for that hot animal love. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

          1. elpinche

            So you and your partner Kevin from biggovernment high five each other after you eat others assholes out and troll libtard sites? Is that how it works?
            You guys don't happen to be in Florida area ? I think I know Kevin's beard.

  18. HurricaneAli

    It makes for an even more festive weekend on our Wonkette when the trolls come over to play – and it's not even a 3-day weekend!

    1. jim89048

      Well, here in Nevaduh it was Nevada Day on Friday, so yes, it was a 3-day holiday for schools and banks.
      I'm done here for the night, there's some baseball game on. And you know shit's gotta be bad for me to watch baseball instead of–well, anything. Except they keep panning the camera on shrub and his kin.

  19. user-of-owls

    June, mother of Beaver: Allow me to thank you for taking over on poopyhead patrol. It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it. And to all our fellow pandas, oxen, hookwormers and bum blasters, a simple poopyhead repeated enough is the best insecitcide.

    1. weejee

      Glad to see you back. We had a go-round with dil_do_douche_Awful and Kevin Stool earlier this weekend in a previous thread. A smack upside the poopyhead is better than feeding the trolls unless they are like the dung beetle and fond of poo. Could be with this lot.

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        Hey, hey, now. I apologized for the insect references (the actual calling people insects, not the "progressivism is insect mentality" line). Do you really want to go back there? And what I'm fond of is pointing out the flaws of progressivism, and leaving you guys speechless (yes, I know, but saying "poopyhead" over and over isn't really a response).

          1. di_da_is_alpha

            You mean "statism"? It's the left that is for government control of everything. Statism always fails. Regressivism? What's that? Is that your silly word for using the rulebook (the Constitution) to solve modern problems?

            I just love how lefties like to say that the Constitution is a living document. It has a vehicle that can be used to change it, but it is not malleable or flexible. It's the rulebook, but progs hate following the rules.

          2. SheriffRoscoe

            Then why did the Four Fathers feel it necessary to give us courts and judges, oh wise one? We have nine supreme court justices, always arguing and debating back and forth about what the rulebook says. Washington, Jefferson, Adams et al should have been as smart as you, then they would have written the Contstitution, and given us one Judge Of America to read it to us and tell us what to do. God, you're smart.

          3. di_da_is_alpha

            I know I am, and you're stupid. The Founders didn't foresee the trashing of the language, and making up things where nothing exists and ignoring the obvious.

            Example: "….the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." is the meat of the Second Amendment. Liberals try to say that the preamble, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, …." is the meat, and that the Army (or National Guard) is the militia, so citizens shouldn't have firearms.

            Bullshit. The preamble is just that; a preamble. It would be like saying " Since many people develop type II diabetes, a proper diet is important." Diabetes is just ONE of MANY reasons for a proper diet. Just because the Founders didn't lay it out with every reason mentioned doesn't mean their desires should be ignored. Read the Federalist Papers and the writings of the founders for a more thorough understanding.

            And you're right about the court, one judge would be dangerous. FDR tried to expand the court to, shit, I can't remember, like 17 or 19 judges, and then pack it with progressives. Fortunately, the court still has a majority of folks who understand the rule of law, and Obama has only been able to put liberals in for other liberals.

          4. SheriffRoscoe

            Quoth di da dum dee dumb:
            "Example: "….the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." is the meat of the Second Amendment. Liberals try to say that the preamble, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, …." is the meat, and that the Army (or National Guard) is the militia, so citizens shouldn't have firearms."

            What the fuck are you trying to say? Meat?(!) The quote you are trying to use to prop up your stupid argument (meat???), is one entire clause, which should be quoted in it's entirety to glean it's meaning. Oh my god, you're even stupider than I thought. Meat?????

          5. di_da_is_alpha

            It means "what's important". Do you really think you'rer doing your side any good by being so obtuse? I guess I could have said "the heart of the matter". Would you be able to figure it out then ?

            Debating you is like trying to teach trigonometry to a kangaroo. "Ok, Skippy, the law of cosines is ……."

          6. SheriffRoscoe

            Oh, thank you. Meat = What's "Important" in the Constitution, as defined by di da dum dee dumb.

            I. Give. Up.

          7. Radiotherapy

            Dear Poopyhead:
            From one of the panels in the Jefferson Memorial:

            I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.

            Go lick Mark Levin's sphincter hairs you fuzzknuckle.

          8. di_da_is_alpha

            That's why we can amend the Constitution. Why doesn't the left use the method of changing the Constitution that the Founders gave us instead of using activist judges?

            Fuzzknuckle? That sounds like a cop's motorcycle from the '40s. Of course, I believe a lot of municipalities used flatheads.

          9. weejee

            Right on Radio! And let's not forget the panal on Nathan Halethis' statue just off totally ghey DuPont Circle…

            I only regret that I have but one ∞ poopyheads to give for my blog.

          10. bagofmice

            I meant static, which is the word that represents the idea of "no change", or the property of being static. If you understood the English language, we might actually be able to hold a conversation. What a treat that would be.

          11. di_da_is_alpha

            Nasty. I guess I could say "if you could type like a human instead of an ape trying to type the works of Shakespeare, I would have understood". But I won't. ; )

          12. SheriffRoscoe

            Oh yes, I meant to come back to that one. If my esteemed colleague bagofmice had intended to use the word "statism" instead of "staticism", he would have said "statism" instead of "staticism." Yes, they both begin with 'S' and end with 'ism' but they are two entirely different words! One has to do with the quality of being static, the other does not. We can use one over the other without confusion, usually, dipshit! LMAO

            PS Are you sure you're not Sarah Palin, lurking incognito in our Wonkett?

          13. di_da_is_alpha

            Doh' ya got me Skippy. Guess I should call it a night. Your idiocy is becoming contagious. See you soon. ; )

          14. bagofmice

            Apes are not known for their nuanced knowledge of the English language. How someone well versed in middle English would consider a response using an http protocol over tcp that isn't encrypted as authoritative… Well frankly it escapes me. There is probably a nerd involved.

      2. thebeatgoeson08

        God, those guys are tedious, aren't they? Self congratulating much?! I was away from the site when they showed up. Are there 3 of them now? Perhaps ignoring them completely would be the best – then they only have each other to play with. Eventually I think even they would get bored with the mutual masturbation.

    2. GreasyRabbit75

      Yeah, you just keep on thinking that. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

      1. bagofmice

        Dude, get a new thesaurus, because you need to keep the suffixes fresh. Only an idiot would run a verbal tick into the ground.

  20. fuflans

    yeah!! trolls!!

    oh wait. sorry. what i meant was:

    this entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any

    1. elpinche

      Right now , the breitards are back at home camp (biggovernment) fapping each other and regaining p points:
      fap fap fap fap "mmmm Kevin, more lube ? FASTER FASTER!!" fap fap

  21. weejee

    All these troll posts remind me of an old saw. Something like "If a turd blossoms in the blog and there is not an owl to poopyhead it, is there still a poopyhead?."

    Well it clearly appears that the blog still finds the poopyhead. Well done all.

  22. mumbly_joe

    I'm pretty sure Fox News either forgot to cover the rally at all for some reason, or are pretty sure there were maybe "tens of thousands" of people there.

    Which, I mean, I can understand as an accurate depiction, since I myself traveled hundreds of yards from New York to be there.

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      Yeah especially with Fox's completely accurate count of 12,000,000,000,000 at Beck's rally, I imagine they'll say…."this many people showed up and…oooh, something shiny!"

  23. GreasyRabbit75

    Hey, I've got one for ya: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a parrot? user-of-owls.Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

  24. di_da_is_alpha

    Comin' down in three part harmony?

    You guys must be "Three Prog Light".

    By the way, looks like Jaime Herrera is gonna beat the heck out of Denni Heck here in the third. Rossi and Peppermint Paddy are in a dead heat. Just hope there isn't any recounts. We know how those turnout.

  25. weejee

    The third has always been a cusp. Linda Smith came from those parts.

    Although not likely to lose, I don't see Reichert being able to real strut given he was going against a first timer to whom he lost the Timez nod. In short, I would not be greatly shocked if Dave the Dumb can't hang on in the 8th and it becomes tit for shit tat.

    But in an area that really matters for the next decade, you're kids won't take the state house, so the DeRats will be drawing the new post-census lines. Good luck with that Dave, iffin' you win.

  26. di_da_is_alpha

    I'm confident that things won''t get as bad as California before folks here wise up. Time will tell.

  27. GreasyRabbit75

    Yes, of course. If you can't think of anything to say, just say "poopyhead" and you'll sound all, um, smart. And all your little buddies will have a big old circle-jerk congratulating you on how you called them a poopyhead. Well-played, indeed. Too. Also. As well. Additionally. Likewise. Moreover. In like manner.

  28. di_da_is_alpha

    They could be. Like McCarthy, Eyman sees a problem, but he's going about fixing it the wrong way. Career politicians have to become a thing of the past, too much conflict of interest and nest feathering.

    Government can be a very useful tool, but it can be extremely dangerous if used improperly, and improper use of government is what liberals are famous for.

  29. sati_demise

    oh for gods sake, the Bushies recently crashed the global economy and started two futile wars. You dont know even recent history if you make that statement, let alone the history of the 20th century.
    facts or stfu.

  30. bagofmice

    True that. You could start two wars, the longest to ever exist in the history of the nation without funding them. You could throw away the knowledge of the wealthiest and most competent managers by going to war without their input and advice by not involving them in the debate via taxation.

    We could do the r&d in two parallel efforts to develop 2 separate engines for the same machine just because we can.

    We could do that, but it would take a free spending government that would say that "Deficits don't matter". It would take the kind of government that would incur14 trillion dollars worth of obligations. In short, it would take a republican.

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