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Wonkette Halloween Party Going About As Expected

What if *Riley* is dressed as Riley???The Wonkette copy desk alerts us that rumors on the Twitter suggest the Wonkette Halloween Nightwhore Party is going about as you’d expect.

It is still going on, apparently! Many have died, for freedom. If you’ve got terrible “twit-pix” or other Facebook pRon related to tonight’s Costume Party and hell festival in the Devil’s Kitchen (really!), please post the links in the comments, or send them to tips AT the wonkette email. Keep hope alive or whatever! And just go cold kick the hell out of some dude dressed like The Joker.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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45 comments

    1. CZL

      Boys on one side of the room, stealing furtive glances over at the girls, who are more interested in mango-tinis and exchanging Facebook info than anything the guys have to offer?

  1. BeWoot

    Is everyone having a great time? Did Ken wear his slutty librarian costume? Is there a buzz of urbane innuendo and erudite inside baseball? We rubes out here in the provincial time zones want to know. Also pictures.

    1. Tobacky

      Actually yes. A girl came as a ladybug and lifted her skirt during the costume awards to show some big ol fake pubes. She was awesome.

    1. LionelHutzEsq

      If it was a normal Wonkette party, Jim Newel showed up and at around 1a, he and Liz disappeared for thee hours "going to Virginia" to "get more alcohol."

  2. loquacioustunes

    I am sad not to be at this party, a lot. We should have a "Wonkette New York 9/11 NEVAR FORGET" party this winter/spring/summer in "Mannahatta," an Indian reservation/burial ground on the Hudson River. Anyone up for reserving the "Gulf+Western building"?

    1. x111e7thst

      Maybe we should all just get hammered together in some bar and then go out and puke on passersby.

  3. Lefty_Lucy

    I would have gone to the Wonkette party except I knew how nostalgic/disappointing our flesh would be. Also the buttsecks. Not that we're Republicans or anything.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Lame excuse! Upon arriving I was told hardly anyone present was divulging their handle anyway, but some of us decided what the hell, and spilled. Since your wonk name is my hash name I am hoping you make it to the next one.
      And Stuef, I appreciate having me the opportunity to aid in the effort to buy pints toward your sustained inebriation.

      1. Lefty_Lucy

        I will do my poor best to return to the city of misspent youth to join you. Nice pictures from the rally, also. I had soccer. :(

  4. SayItWithWookies

    Well, y'all have fun and be safe. And if you can't be safe, save the placenta — that's the best part.

  5. ShaveTheWhales

    Look, Ken, could y'all sometime have a Wonkette party in the Mojave Desert? Okay, that's stupid; but how about LA?

    I mean, I know it's "Wonkette, the DC Gossip" and all that shit, but for those of us over here on the extremely western outskirts of DC, the Metro ride to Dupont is Too Sucking Annoying. Fucking Ultraviolet line.

    Hmm. Am I drunk? Is it Friday? Is that my dick?

    'Scuse me.

  6. Radiotherapy

    Live From the Witch Trials:
    Indeed, Riley's Doppelgänger Rocks!!1!
    Let me have a witness. I saw Christine's unshorn private area. And a Metro escalator accident — be careful tomorrow. And Jim Newell as the gingery MC. I think the tab is still open, thanks Ken, and Arielle, the ol' Wonkette American Express Corporate Card.

  7. Iam_Who_Iam

    I am most sad not to be there for the Wonkette orgy and Sanity fest. Being the buck-up type, I promised myself I would celebrate with them in spirit. After carefully reviewing my budget for party allowances, I find myself here at the ‘puter with a cold beer and a few more on standby in the fridge. It’s not much, but as every political email has told me for months, every contribution counts.

    Whoo-hoo! I’m with you Wonkettes!
    Give me a few more beers and I’ll be dancing on the table with you.

  8. chickensmack

    Bullshit. It's just a bunch of English nerds, waiting to pounce on one another's speech impediments. The least one of you drunks could do would be to liveblog the goddamn thing.

    1. Iam_Who_Iam

      I suppose we have to give Radiotherapy credit for posting, but yeah, I'd prefer a Wonkette orgy liveblog over any damn debate liveblog. Geeze, you'd think one of our Wonkette wizards would of figured that out.

      It would be simple enough, set up a lap top and let the Wonkettes post gibberish between swills and sex. Hell, if they had asked I would of bought them one of those plastic covers for the keyboard, cuz you know some drunk asshole is gonna dump their drink on the laptop before it's done.

      [edit] Aw shit, I just outed my poverty and techno-stupidity in a big way. They don't need laptops anymore do they? They probably all have those fancy i-thingys or whatever fancy gadgets those young'uns use these days. That makes it worse, selfish assholes, they all should be posting!

    1. BrentKockman

      Does that mean you've been lost getting to the party since 1989 for the first time and senate bid #1 for the second?

  9. facehead

    I'm about to take a nap and wake up in a few hours, schlep out to Queens, and then hop on a bus to fingerbang Arianna all the way to DC. Tragically, I've missed this orgy of anal patriotism at The Big Hunt, but I may stop by Saturday to sniff the barstools.

    If you see a tall dark ex-smoker down in DC that turns out to be me, don't post any pics of me anywhere (If my boss found out I was facehead, I'd lose my job faster than a Louisiana hooker can change a diaper).

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      Oh yeah, and really, "The Big Hunt"? If this is the level of cleverness in DC, it's probably no wonder we're all fucked.

  10. bitchincamaro2

    It's morning in NY. I gleefully await reports of clanging hangovers, guilt, regret, shame, self-doubt, lost keys, smart phones, and virginities. And all photos must be high res only.
    *shudder*

  11. thefrontpage

    Thanks to everyone for the great orgy afterward in the penthouse suite at the Mayflower Hotel!! Who paid for the suite, and all of the alochol, sushi, wings and pizza there? That was some great party! And the women were incredible! And a bunch of us have to agree that Christine O'Donnell, or O'Connell, or whatever her name is, you know, that politician chick from Delaware, was the life of the party, as she put on this witch hat, took off all of her clothes, and ran around the roof of the Willard singing The Eagles' "Witchy Woman." Then she joined the orgy, proving those "virgin" rumors quite wrong! The cops came up about 2 a.m., knocked on the door, no one answered, and they left. Then we blared Alice Cooper's "School's Out!" and Judas Priest's "Living After Midnight," and the party raged on until early Saturday morning! A couple of people left in different clothes than they came to the party in, and lots of phone numbers were exchanged. Thanks for a great party! And I have a Mayflower Hotel towel in my car.

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