What I discovered: Clinton found out about the Gingrich affair and called Newt over to the White House for a private meeting between the two of them. Clinton said, “You and I are alike.” Which meant, shut up about Monica or I’ll start telling your story.
Olasky: Was it blackmail or bonding?
Armey: Newt and Clinton actually developed sort of a bond over it. They had many meetings that we didn’t know about where they’d drink wine and smoke cigars and talk about their girlfriends.
Whatever. Shut up, Dick Armey. Shut up, Newt Gingrich. Shut up, Chumbawamba. [WP]
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I doubt that was the quote. What Army meant to say is that Clinton and Gingrich would drink wine and talk about their girlfriends smoking cigars .
"…the time they cigar-banged their girlfriends…"
There you go.
Must have been blackmail, cuz the whole thing got hushed up and went away.
If there had been even a whiff of scandal the Repubicans would have spared no expense whatsoever to learn the truth. They would have followed the evidence wherever it led, sparing no one. That's the kind of diligence and dedication to the unvarnished truth we expect from Repubicans.
Rumor has it Gingrich keeps a suit coat stained during one of these white house visits in his closet as a memento. He also reports Clinton was extremely gentle with the cigar.
B.C.: "…so Monica turns her head to cough, right at the same time as I blow! All over her dress dude!"
N.G.: "No way!"
B.C.: "Fuckin' A it happened. How's the wife anyway?"
N.G.: "Complaining about her cancer surprise surprise. I mean, she's lost a lot of weight, but I think I'm gonna go with this dime piece whose been comin' around looking to party."
B.C.: "Fuck yeah, hit that shit bro."
Truly, you are a boffin of smut.
Armey sure knows a lot about meetings he doesn't know about.
You beat me to it! I thought Secretary Rumsfeld was the expert on knowing what he didn't know, and not knowing what he did know.
Dick Armey knows all about what he doesn't know about.
And Monica didn't know how to say "No."
As for Ole Newt, how any girl could let him know her I just don't know.
This, from someone named Dick. No further questions, your honor.
Dick is just upset that no one will smoke his cigar.
Why would Clinton and Gingrich need a Dick Armey if they had their cigars? Weren't Cohibas enough for chubby interns and the future ex-Mrs. Gingrich?
Marvin Olasky interviewing Dick Armey: shouldn't that cause a tear in the space-time continuum?
I can see how this all started…Newt waddles into the West Wing and grabs a cigar from Clinton's supply , sniffs it, as you do, says"Cuban" then pauses , sniffs again and says "Cuban pussy?", Clinton laughs and says "No, actually she's a JAP".
And the next day they installed bidets (the Cunnilinguists' Friend) in all the WH bathrooms.
I actually picture Newt like Baron Harkonnen from 'Dune'. Too fat to walk so he has to be suspended along (to each of his nekkid boy torture/sex sessions…nobody alleged).
LL: That joke was a whole lot funnier without the second "Cuban."
Just sayin'…
What I discovered: Clinton found out about the Gingrich affair and called Newt over to the White House for a private meeting between the two of them. Clinton said, “You and I are alike.” Which meant, shut up about Monica or I’ll start telling your story.
I seem to recall that the whole impeachment thing went ahead anyway. Fail.
Clinton added: "How'd you like to wake up one morning to find Denny Hastert's head in your bed?"
Someone elected these hillbillies to run the country? hahawtf
I need a shower and a scrub with a wire brush. Ew.
Yeah my first thought was can we stick all these pricks in the meat grinder?
Including Dick.
His wife, Vagina Coastguard.
And there's the twins, Rectum Airforce and Prostate G. Naval-Battalion.
Marvin Olasky's the asswad that came up with 'compassionate conservatism' in the first place!
The best thing about this is the next sentence right after the Dick's Army (of the Teabloated) quote starts with "If true, …"
Which should exactly follow every quote ever made by this "grassroots" "leader" of a real dildo militia.
Never take serious a man named Dick Armey…or Pussy Battalion/Vagina Platoon for that matter.
"Dick Armey Takes On The Nazi Babe Brigade"
After 50 years in the Republican Party, you can't blame Armey for being a little bit taken aback to hear fellow politicians talking about having sex with females.
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