Oh, and Bush Now Spends His Days Playing Board Games For Hours

  the old warrior's ithaca

Bush’s final Decision Point of his charmed life:

The former first lady added the ex-president’s favorite app is Scrabble.

“Scrabble is the one that George now seems to be playing constantly,” she said. “Like, I’m trying to get his attention; ‘I’m still here.’”

As for Mrs. Bush, she doesn’t have an iPad but says she is hoping to get one on her upcoming birthday.

One of these days, he’s going to put a word on there that’s worth more than six points. One of these days.

(“TORTURE” is worth eight before bonuses.) [CNN]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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32 comments

    1. kenlayisalive

      I don't know. I think karma would be Iraq invading Texas, finding George playing scrabble in his spider hole, and then hanging him.

    1. JustPixelz

      you only need to spell if you limit yourself to just the words elites use. but dubya is our special president who refudiates those rules. "Don't Hasbro me bro!'

  1. edgydrifter

    Scrabble with Bush must be loads of fun.
    "Uh, Mr. President, I'm pretty sure 'gorklanx' isn't a word."
    "Screw you, Poindexter. I'm the decider, and I decideded it is!"

  2. OkieDokieDog

    Mission Accckkkomplished… if he chokes on a Mesican tortilla chip while Scrabble apping.

    Edit because I was eating while doing this. It's hard work, you know.

  3. Banelm

    Scrabble? I was expecting him to be more into "Risk" or "Monopoly" or "Hang-Man".
    Or Hungry Hungry Hippos, actually.

  4. Come here a minute

    This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any

    [Are we really that lame that it takes this long to keep a meme going for ONE post?]

  5. KathrynSane

    As if I needed a reason to hate this man any more, I think Bush just ruined my beloved Scrabble. I'll never be able to play again without seeing his beady-eyed monkeyface. YOU STUPID PIGFUCKER.

    1. dr_giraud

      I'm remembering the Bush years as more Chutes and Ladders. Nothing was complex, and we were always going down one Goddamned chute or another.

  6. Lucidamente1

    "Heh-heh, hey Laura, didya know that Iraq and Iran begin with the same three letters, heh-heh, well, didya?"

  7. ingloriousbytch

    I can just see him now sitting in the day room playing a board game, eating the rice pudding offered to him. As tears fill his eyes he says…

    "You know what, Hoke? You're my best friend."

    "My name isn't Hoke, Mr. President. It's Condaleeza,"

  8. SayItWithWookies

    Okay, by hearsay he reads Camus and spends his spare time playing Scrabble. And in reality he thinks tax cuts increase federal revenue, that information doesn't work against you if you never find out about it, that saying you're ready to react to a monster-sized hurricane is more important than being ready, that if you invade a cobbled-together nation held together only by an iron-fisted dictator and remove said person from power that a peace-loving and enlightened democracy will emerge fully-functioning from the very sands of the desert, and that it'll be generations before history is able to accurately judge the quality of his administration. It's a tough call, but I'll bet the real George Dubya Bush lies somewhere in the middle.

  9. MissTaken

    Like, I’m trying to get his attention; ‘I’m still here.

    Like, when did Laura like, you know, start talking like a teeny-bopper?

  10. Barrelhse

    He should try "Yahtzee!;" it involves a little thought, but nothing like trying to make words that are more than four letters in length and spelled correctly. Mostly, it's more about rolling the dice and hoping for the best- things George can relate to.

  11. HistoriCat

    I'm assuming this is the computerized version of the game. Where you can get hints. It's easy to play a good game of Scrabble if you let the machine help you out.

    On the plus side, maybe he'll improve his vocabulary.

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