WIN OF THE AFTERNOON  7:00 pm October 28, 2010

‘Worthly Wokette Skum’ Will Not Stop St. Christine From Cleansing DC’s Sins

by Ken Layne

Win of the Afternoon!If the Tea Party Era has taught us anything, it’s that America’s problems go far beyond common illiteracy. There’s something much stranger and more horrible at work within the shrunken heads and giant bellies of the Teabaggers. They just might be space alien parasites, trying hard to fit in and basically succeeding. Think about it: If a blog comment anywhere else on the Internet included the line, “You do not have a clear worthly Wokette skum,” would anyone even notice?

Apparently in reaction to Wonkette’s unenthusiastic post about the now infamous-yet-bland “Christine O’Donnell made out with some guy a couple years ago” post on Gawker, a commenter who named himself “kublakant” offers this critique, or praise, or maybe a recipe for lemon rat soup:

Christine O’Donnel the only one that can save us Delaware from sin is in Washington. You do not have a clear worthly Wokette skum, your opinions and your sense of humor and the absurd attempt to make something useful of your life you will try to hate it. try to find a job that you are all unemployed, or at least outside the house since occasionallt. This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any

And that shall be our new “catchphrase.” Whenever anything happens, at all, we will yell in unison, “This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any . . . . “

 
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{ 176 comments }

Troubledog October 28, 2010 at 7:06 pm

And nothing of value was lost.

bitchincamaro2 October 28, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Submit your "I totally jacked off to that comment" comment, here:

awesome_dude October 28, 2010 at 7:21 pm

F1R5T!!1!

the_problem_child October 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

I'm sitting on a towel right now.

awesome_dude October 29, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Hey so do you have plans tonight?

kittylittr October 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm

You're soaking in it.

LionelHutzEsq October 28, 2010 at 7:40 pm

Sploosh!

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Bleeding from that part is not a good sign.

Gleem_McShineys October 28, 2010 at 7:46 pm

"no one has lost any "

WRONG space lizard parasite person!

I HAVE LOST ONE!

loquacioustunes October 28, 2010 at 7:51 pm

That is like the "Alexis Texas and Belladonna fingering each other while Ron Jeremy spews fountains of jizzum on their faces" of comments.

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 7:52 pm

I hit it….for great justice.

Dr_pangloss October 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm

I tottaly jacked off to that comment, Also Second Amendment Remedies."

LionelHutzEsq October 29, 2010 at 12:53 am

So that is what that means.

chickensmack October 28, 2010 at 8:04 pm

I, and my monitor, are wet with giddy, relaxed elation.

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Does anyone have some duct tape and Neosporin?

elviouslyqueer October 28, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

HateMachine October 28, 2010 at 11:12 pm

That's not funny, my brother died that way

GOPCrusher October 29, 2010 at 1:00 pm

All your base are belong to us!

Limeylizzie October 28, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Is Occasionallt before or after Yom Kippur?

kittylittr October 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Right before Kristallnacht.

Serolf_Divad October 28, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Very Gertrude Stein… I like it.

neiltheblaze October 28, 2010 at 7:10 pm

That has to be a form of aphasia.

SmutBoffin October 28, 2010 at 7:14 pm

"Wokette"? Was this email supposed to go to a Foodie blog?

glindsey1979 October 28, 2010 at 7:43 pm

I hereby nominate "Wokette" as Wonkette's sister site for food-related posts (like how Wonkabout talks about DC locations).

glamourdammerung October 28, 2010 at 7:50 pm

I am not sure too many of us have stomachs capable of digesting solid food anymore.

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Stir fried rat dicks?

(See how long I've held off using this trope? Time's right though.)

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Weren't the Wokettes Fozzie Bear's back-up dancers?

Terry October 28, 2010 at 10:31 pm

Wocka wocka wocka

PsycWench October 28, 2010 at 9:47 pm

He had a lisp and thought he was addressing the Rockettes.

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Wewease Wodney!

PublicLuxury October 28, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Meth Lab owner, operator and user?

Drunken old white guy with a handful of Viagra?

Christine O'Donnell's puddin' cup man deliriously ranting because his balls are purple and swelled to the size of soft balls from deprivation?

Ken Layne is that you?

LionelHutzEsq October 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Any reason it can't be all of the above?

PublicLuxury October 28, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Ken Layne is Christine O'Donnell's puddin' cup man???? OMG who'd a thunk it. Scandalized. Horrified, Demonfied

HistoriCat October 29, 2010 at 9:51 am

And yet … strangely aroused.

BeWoot October 28, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Josh Fruhlinger. He's all pissed off about the dental coverage.

MistaEko October 28, 2010 at 7:15 pm

"no one has lost any" can be used like the "I accidentally 220 MB of of memory" meme, right?

LionelHutzEsq October 28, 2010 at 7:43 pm

All your Wonkette are belong to us!

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Beat me to it, you worthly skum!

Toomush_Infer October 28, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Really, was this one of my Community College students…? It's just so hard to figure out which one…

Dr_pangloss October 28, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Hey I resemble taht remark, I can spellz gud. I no how two do stuff.

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:28 pm

I read a student paper that referred to Michelangelo's masterpiece, "the sealing of the Sixteenth Chapel."

HistoriCat October 29, 2010 at 9:53 am

The original film is a cult classic but the new remake is complete shit.

OCKerouac October 29, 2010 at 11:55 am

I though Geraldo unsealed the Sixteenth Chapel live on CBS back in the 80's…

glamourdammerung October 28, 2010 at 7:16 pm

And yet they still somehow manage to be more coherent than the Breitards that are organizing trolling runs here.

PublicLuxury October 28, 2010 at 7:16 pm

I'd hit that.

savethispatient October 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm

When this blog is shipped to Afghanistan, I will worry about the latency and up-time. I mean, server costs can be expensive, but I fear Afghan hosting services may not be very reliable, Ken. But who knows, give it go.

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 7:55 pm

We hav 2 fite them over their, so we don't hav 2 fite them ovr hear!!!

elfgoldsackring October 28, 2010 at 7:56 pm

On the upside, I hear they make awesome poppy seed cake over there.

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Can't stop eating it.

Crank_Tango October 28, 2010 at 10:31 pm

hash! hash! hash! etc. etc. etc.!

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2010 at 8:43 am

On the other hand, I know where all the good bars and "Chinese Drilling Establishments" in Kabul are! Maybe I can get hired to write the Wonkabout Kabul Edition.

HistoriCat October 29, 2010 at 9:56 am

I'm already tormenting myself by reading Arielle's restaurant descriptions and thinking "man, am I hungry." No way am I going to read your Chinese Drilling articles.

fuflans October 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm

baggers. the abstract expressionists of the political blogosphere.

OneYieldRegular October 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm

If I'd written that, I wouldn't be complaining to Wonkette. I'd be hunting down every teacher I ever had.

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 7:55 pm

It's not always fair to blame the teacher. Many underfunded school districts just don't have the resources to identify special needs students in time to help them.

- A Wonkette Public Service Announcement

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 10:02 pm

We just grab some baseball bats and go door to door, looking for them.

Slower Delaware Bored of Eduja, Edjak, never mind, just us guys here in Delaware.

Terry October 28, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Sure, but then ther are the kids who cut class to do drugs in the woods. I'm voting that this person fried brain cells rather than having been born with less than usual.

OneYieldRegular October 28, 2010 at 10:49 pm

I do know that, and have great love for teachers, even some mediocre ones. So I also wanted to write: "and every politician who's ever advocated cutting education funding," but I couldn't get it to rhyme.

reliefsinn October 28, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Every teacher that person ever had has committed hari-kari by now.

LionelHutzEsq October 28, 2010 at 8:09 pm

You forgot the obvious: Home Schooled.

deelzebub October 29, 2010 at 9:47 am

it's spelled hom skuled

Barrelhse October 28, 2010 at 11:36 pm

And what would you do when you found her?

PublicLuxury October 28, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Christine is going to give the Congresscritters a cleansing bath? What a cock tease…

hankkissinger October 28, 2010 at 7:22 pm

It's like the "all your base are belong to us" screed of 2010.

Make our time, indeed.

finallyhappy October 28, 2010 at 7:22 pm

It sounds like someone for whom English is not a first language but I am not sure what the first language would be- Wookie? Stupidstan?

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 7:27 pm

It sounds beautiful in the original Klingon.

PublicLuxury October 28, 2010 at 7:57 pm

Dumbfukistan. They learn them buhbays good

PsycWench October 28, 2010 at 9:53 pm

I think English is maybe the fourth or fifth language and learned entirely off reading the English version of instructions for assembling cheap toys.

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Huh. Well it's good to know Kevin is diverse in his trolling targets.

Kitty_Sanchez October 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

I'm kindof a newbie here. Who's Kevin?

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 7:57 pm

Kevin Sowell. Troll. You can point him out by his frequent (unironic) word salading.

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 12:13 am

Ever read Kipling's "Road Song of the Bandar Log"? That's Kevin.
He arrives with his au pair di_da_is_alpha who can actually write and read when politely engaged on the subjects of caliber, bullet penetration, expansion, knockdown power, muzzle energy etc.

imissopus October 29, 2010 at 11:41 am

Yeah, but not on any other subject. He's like Neilist without the charm or sense of humor.

EdFlintstone October 28, 2010 at 7:25 pm

De-evolution is no longer just a theory.

petejayhawk October 28, 2010 at 7:25 pm

These people…how is that they can't spell Wonkette, O'Donnell, or occasionally, but have no trouble mashing out Afghanistan correctly? Must be all the war porn they read on Redstate and wherever.

problemwithcaring October 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Right? At first I was thinking, well spell check can't save someone from proper name misspelling and bad grammar, but "skum"? Come the fuck on.

Kitty_Sanchez October 28, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Easy to explain: they'll trip you up by occasionally getting something right, but it's not a sign of hidden intellect — it's just a random accident.

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:31 pm

Could be it's so massively hard that they cut and paste it, rather than attempting to type it themselves?

chascates October 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

We now have proof what a million monkeys pounding away on computers can come up with.

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Christine O'Donnell?

Dr_pangloss October 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

More proof that the conservative blogosphere is reaching Trig levels of sentience.

Jerri October 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Proving that it is indeed the blurst of times.

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 10:12 pm

How do you do that? 2 hours before me and right below me? Are you looking over my shoulder in an alternative universe?

smokefilledroommate October 28, 2010 at 7:29 pm

I will always try to hate it.

CapnFatback October 28, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Afghanistan, eh? Oh, yeah, well, I got one thing to say to you, pal: "Read, maybe you learn something."

(Tweaked and shamelessly replugged.)

weejee October 28, 2010 at 7:31 pm

This entire blog Teabagger can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any…

And nobody would miss 'em either…

OkieDokieDog October 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Oh my. Ouch. Well I guess “kublakant” really told you off.

Kitty_Sanchez October 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Movin' to Afganistan,
Gonna be a worthly Wokette skum.

imissopus October 28, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Obviously it must be said: today we are all Wokette skum.

bagofmice October 28, 2010 at 8:23 pm

I thought we were a cunt-squad?

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 12:55 am

Shameless p-point whore! *jealous*

imissopus October 29, 2010 at 1:35 am

I understand that when I hit 90 I get a set of steak knives.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2010 at 8:48 am

Three days since I hit that vaunted mark, Ed McMahon still hasn't shown up at the house with my Ginsus. Or the giant check.

drrty_martini October 28, 2010 at 7:38 pm

He was jealous that all of the good jokes about pubic hair grooming had already been made. That's what the conversation was about, right? O'Donnell pudenda?

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:35 pm

And pudend-cup beards.

EdFlintstone October 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Kublakant is obviously upset, he's a big bush fan.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 28, 2010 at 7:48 pm

I am humbled by his/her/its writing. I think this now makes me the humblest person in the world.

jus_wonderin October 28, 2010 at 7:48 pm

I swear that passage reads like one of those spam mails that gathers a bag of words and then throws them into the body text to simulate a real email that can get past the spam filter.

Ken, do NOT click the links that accompany the email. You will then be deluged with offers for "the little blue pill" and have nightmares of Bob and Liddy Dole.

Limeylizzie October 28, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Kublakunt.

Barrelhse October 28, 2010 at 11:39 pm

I thought that was with a "C."

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 12:58 am

Kublakunt: A stately pleasure dome. Caverns measureless to man.

deelzebub October 29, 2010 at 9:51 am

If it's that cavernous, it can't be very pleasurable.

HempDogbane October 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm

“You do not have a clear worthly Wokette skum”

Well, do you?

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Does it to you?

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Fucking Scientologists…

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 1:05 am

My Wokette skum has been somewhat cloudy of late. Could I have Joe Miller discharge?

JustPixelz October 28, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Could be Afghanistan will lead to some improvements.

Will wonkette be the Kandahar Gossip? Will the logo be a burka wearing glasses underneath? What will Cord's column be called?

slappypaddy October 28, 2010 at 7:58 pm

as much of this shit as shows up in wonkette's purview, i'm beginning to wonder if it's all being generated by a single perverted idiot savant locked away in some basement somewhere, being fed corn syrup, cheetohs, carefully rationed doses of meth, and thimbles full of everclear and as long as he keeps the weird ramblings and rantings churning out.

no, it's not me.

elfgoldsackring October 28, 2010 at 8:07 pm

So what are you suggesting this savant is actually good at? Fingerpainting masterpieces using its own excrement?

neiltheblaze October 28, 2010 at 9:46 pm

You laugh, but his Last Supper is amazing.

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 1:16 am

Thanks.
I just had to put the power washer into my ear.

neiltheblaze October 29, 2010 at 6:37 am

Always glad to help.

Gleem_McShineys October 29, 2010 at 2:58 pm

This sort of sounds like a pretty cool gig, all things considered. Do I submit my CV to Breitbart, or Crossroads Media?

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Worthly Wokette Cunt Skum Brigade, assemble!

bagofmice October 28, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Now THAT's what I'm talkin 'bout.

elviouslyqueer October 28, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Form of: vagina dentata!

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 11:11 pm

Shape of: a dildo mallet!

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 1:24 am

Occasionallt Text Ho!

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Everyone look under their chairs…I'm giving out "thumbs up" whore diamonds on this thread, Oprah-style!

YOU get a Thumbs-Up Whore Diamond! YOU get a Thumbs-Up Whore Diamond!

YOU get a Thumbs-Up Whore Diamond!

YOU get a Thumbs-Up Whore Diamond!

EVERYBODY GETS THUMBS-UP WHORE DIAMONDS!!

CalamityJames October 28, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Dammit! I'm not in the live audience!

LionelHutzEsq October 28, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Clearly the poster was overcome with lust when thinking of Christine O'Donnell and dear ol' Wonkette, and had to rub one out before finishing his/her post.

And to think what was lost because of that lack of control. Why, it makes you

elfgoldsackring October 28, 2010 at 8:02 pm

Shittiest voice transcription software ever, or scarily accurate?

HOFAH October 28, 2010 at 8:06 pm

In Washington did kublakant
A sinful Capital-dome did see
Where Potomac, the dirty river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

Amo_of_Bogio October 28, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Coleridge vs. illiterate word salad – wins the internets.

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 10:19 pm

No, no, no. Kublakant was written by Calvin Coolidge, not this Coleridge jag-off. Get it RIGHT!

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:38 pm

"Calvin Coleridge" would make an AWESOME internets pseudonym.

ReturnToMetal October 28, 2010 at 11:12 pm

I applaud and bow. A masterwork.

Barrelhse October 28, 2010 at 11:42 pm

But what did Xana do?

4TheTurnstiles October 29, 2010 at 8:34 am

Weave a circle round him thrice
And close your eyes in holy dread
For he on Thorazine hath fed
And drunk the milk of Pair-o'-Thighs.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Wow, I wish I could be that drunk by the end of work day.

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm

NO ONE has lost ANY!
No one has lost ANY?
No…one has lost. Any?
No! One has lost any?
No. One has. Lost any?

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:40 pm

Maybe it's at a video store?

No one has Lost! Any?

ReturnToMetal October 28, 2010 at 11:13 pm

NO ONE HAS! Lost any?

I don't have the Excedrin to allow me to wrap my head around this one.

el_donaldo October 28, 2010 at 11:49 pm

I LOVE the Talking Heads.

V572625694 October 29, 2010 at 12:05 am

Thinking more of Pynchon: “You never did the Kenosha Kid?”

JackObin October 28, 2010 at 8:12 pm

I've noticed there are not enough fat, stupid people here in god's country.

Rev_Lemonjello October 28, 2010 at 8:19 pm

And written with the eloquence of an Uzbeki immigrant.

Neilist October 28, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Mr. Layne.

As Wonkette's Conservative (Bad) Conscience, I must admonish you for that "story."

For shame, Sir. For shame!

There are so many things wrong, so many things that violate Wonkette's Code of Ethics and Journalistic Thoroughness.

First, and most important: No NUDE photographs. The Red-Eyed Demon From Hell look is okay. But did you notice that she's STILL wearing clothes? We want SKIN in here, Mr. Layne. S-K-I-N.

Second: This line: "I won't get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening."

Damnit, man, any editor worth his salt would have stayed on this subject until he had details (invented or otherwise), to equal those of that classic of American literature and reportage, "I Fucked Ann Coulter In The Ass — HARD!" Have you no sense of your obligations to your readers? Have you?

Third: "Christine informed me that she was a virgin." That sentence clearly implies that, in Ms. O'Donnell's view, oral and anal sex don't count. But did you ASK? I can assure you, sir, that these issues count to US, your readers.

Do your job, Mr. Layne. You, too, can be replaced.

Neilist

aguacatero October 28, 2010 at 8:39 pm

As Dwayme and Garf would say, "We're not worthly! We're not worthly!"

kublakant October 28, 2010 at 9:07 pm

How dare give me the day worthly Wokette skum victory. How dare call me a teabagger Internet Trolls I have met. My useless degree in English are spelled the name mistakenly coherent position of all I write. Then, Chinese, Basque and English translation using Google Translate. Thank you interesting comments, rectal prolapse, you libtard differences.

the_problem_child October 28, 2010 at 9:41 pm

Wokette skum is Internet Trolls I have met.

-A libtard difference.

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 10:21 pm

NO FAIR< STEELIN" TH GUD NAMZ!!@@::

DoktorZoom October 28, 2010 at 10:45 pm

You had me at "rectal prolapse."

Extemporanus October 28, 2010 at 10:57 pm

So kublakant had you in the end?

CapnFatback October 28, 2010 at 11:05 pm

Say, what happened to the Kublakant Allen Greene post in this thread that was mysteriously in a different voice (i.e. almost perfectly coherent)? Hmmm . . . now why would that have been deleted?

elviouslyqueer October 28, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Um, Sarah? You're butt-tweeting again.

GOPCrusher October 29, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Rectal prolapse? I LOL'd

neiltheblaze October 28, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Who am us anyway?

OhNoGuy October 28, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Sam, I am.

Kind of like, "Call me Ishmael" if you're under the age of 6.

Barrelhse October 29, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Christ, I thought you were 'Enery the Eighth.

rocktonsam October 28, 2010 at 9:57 pm

"Wokette Skum."

Dibs on the tee shirt concessions.

HOFAH October 29, 2010 at 12:21 am

Wokette
"You will never find a more wretched hive of skum and villainy"

Do you think the alternate spelling of scum will be enough to keep George Lucas and his lawyers away?

gvvt October 28, 2010 at 10:15 pm

My god, I feel he was speaking directly to me. I see. I see. I HAVE INDEED NOT A CLEAR WORTHLY SKUM! Ship me off to Afghanistan!! I HAVE NOT LOST ANY!!!!!

HAL_9001 October 28, 2010 at 10:28 pm

So, clearly, the Penthouse letter was written by a 25 year old Republican operative with a degree in creative writing to create sympathy for COD among Democrats and prove to Teabaggers that even under most trying circumstances (drunk, naked, with a sexy Boy Scout) she remains re-virgined.

murkwski October 28, 2010 at 10:38 pm

now i'm curious – how're you going to yell " . . . ."?

NorthStarSpanx October 28, 2010 at 11:20 pm

A Teabagger's rational plea to stem the arterial bleeding of Joe Miller's Senate run:

Ahh, nothing like the stench of snark from a leftist! It’s people like this author that make Americans so so happy to see people like Joe Miller stand up. Joe may be a horribly flawed candidate, and arguably a flawed man, but BY GOD ABOVE HE IS NOT A PROGRESSIVE, AMERICAN HATING LEFTIST!

Here’s a little snark from an American….. Where the bleep do leftist progressives come from? Is it public education, dumb parents, failed churches and communities, poor history lessons, hatred for freedom, need to be controlled and controlling, mind numbing media propaganda…. etc etc etc.??? How does one come to view the world w/ such venom for Limited Government, such hatred for State’s Rights and Individual Responsibility, such contempt for Free Enterprise and Private Property and such disdain for American Exceptionalism? How? The leftist progressive view IS NOT compatible w/ the American mindset. What part of Don’t Tread on Me and/or Swim at your own risk is so hard to understand? Just exactly how does one come to think the Federal Government has the authority to tell me what kind of light bulbs to buy or what kind of toilet to put in my house? How can anyone think for even a second that I am responsible for some cat in Peoria’s healthcare? Etc etc. It’s disturbing. How does one form that mindset and then have the gall to think an American is gonna be nice to them? There is no moral requirement to tolerate progressive leftists’ policies in the Federal Government ergo there is no moral requirement to be nice to a leftist. Thinking more steeped in Marx and Mao than Jefferson and Adams, and welcomed and championed by Chavez and Castro is NOT welcome in this land. Yes, leftists DO have the RIGHT to spew hatred for America. But don’t ever forget, Americans have the RESPONSIBILITY to tell them to go to hell.

Go Joe Go!

imissopus October 28, 2010 at 11:25 pm

I remember that episode of The Waltons. God, John-Boy could be such a dick.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2010 at 8:58 am

*points and says HA HA like Nelson Muntz*

ReturnToMetal October 28, 2010 at 11:27 pm

This reminds me of the "death threat" Hugh Laurie received on the fourth season of "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," (sent, as it turned out by 'm'colleague' Stephen Fry). Trouble is, this one was sent in jest, not by an actual crazed lunatic.

The "death threat."

"Dear Sir or Madam,

You are a cow son bastard sucking mental. You die heavily in throat ripping everywhere. Don't like the Queen, this country. (Spelt wrong.) For tear out lungs and replace with portable clothes. [Yes, Please] National Service, who is she? Stripping scrotum through eary leery pastures of deep smell.

(Signed) M. Pontillo"

BTW: The bit is pretty funny, too. Turns out Stephen sent the letter trying to keep Hugh from doing his weekly song. When it doesn't work, Stephen's reply is, "That's 30 pence package and postage down the drain."

I don't mean to sound like a commercial, but if you like Hugh in "House" or Hugh and Stephen in such things as "Jeeves & Wooster" and the "Black Adder" series, you'll love "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," Fry and Laurie's BBC TV show from 1987-1990, available on DVD. (Damn, I do sound like a commercial.)

Jukesgrrl October 29, 2010 at 12:08 am

Yes we kant.

AddHomonym October 29, 2010 at 1:34 am

Categorically, imperatively, we kant.

HAL_9001 October 29, 2010 at 12:16 am

So clearly, this Penthouse letter was written by a 25 year old Republican operative with a degree in creative writing to get the Democrat sympathy vote while reassuring Teabaggers that even in the most dire of circumstances (drunk, naked and in the company of sexy Boy Scout) COD remains revirginated.

el_donaldo October 29, 2010 at 12:30 am

oh, yes, 29 plus whore diamond stars for Gravity's Rainbow references these days.

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 12:52 am

Probably not.
That wave of sympathy can sure get the towel wet though.

lochnessmonster October 29, 2010 at 7:00 am

Just imagine their post AFTER they begin drinking.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2010 at 8:59 am

Does this mean we are supposed to go and give old kubla a thumbs up? Because I did.

whuzzat October 29, 2010 at 9:05 am

The syntax in these emails resemble many posts on icanhascheezburger.com, therefore, either teabagger pets have joined the rantfest, or someone is not getting enough corn syrup in their diet before they owlishly peck at the qwerty.

GunTotingProgressive October 29, 2010 at 9:08 am

Wow, and I was the first to reply with a "WTF" comment… How much pee do I get for that?

Doglessliberal October 29, 2010 at 9:47 am

Oh, Ken, just when I think you have given us the batshittiest comment, you come up with one that makes it look sane. I heart Wokette, even though I work outside the home more than occasionallt.

BlueinVA October 29, 2010 at 10:05 am

It's free verse. Just needs a little re-formatting, is all:

Christine O’Donnel!
The only one that can save us
Delaware
From sin
Is in Washington.

You do not have a clear worthly Wokette skum!
Your opinions, and
Your sense of humor, and
The absurd attempt to make something useful of your life —
You will try to hate it…
Try to find a job that you are all unemployed
Or at least outside the house…
Since …
Occasionallt.

This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan
No one has lost
Any.

HistoriCat October 29, 2010 at 11:20 am

Immanuel Kant and Kublai Khan? That's an odd couple.

notreelyhelping October 29, 2010 at 11:27 am

Jandek, is that you? Clearly a missunderstoods genuis at wrok:

Christine O’Donnel
the only one that can
save us Delaware
from sin is in
Washington you
do not have a clear
worthly Wokette
skum your opinions and
your sense of humor
and the absurd
attempt to make something
useful of your life
you will try
to hate it try
to find a job
that you
are all unemployed
or at least
outside the house
since occasionallt
this entire blog
can be shipped
to Afghanistan no
one has lost
any

Barrelhse October 29, 2010 at 9:59 pm

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

LakeLucilleLoon October 29, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Trig, is that you?

Barrelhse October 29, 2010 at 10:03 pm

I love a chance to make fun of Trig. But I always liked spaz jokes, too. I'm very open-minded that way.

Worthy Wokette Skum October 29, 2010 at 1:59 pm

I am obliged to disagree.

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