Who is mackin’ on Christine O’Donnell here in this crappy bar somewhere with Philadelphia Eagles posters on the fake paneling? Why is she rocking the “sexy insect” costume? Didn’t she know Halloween is for Witches? Well, whatever masturbating happened on this night was of the “mutual” variety, according to the anonymous author of this Gawker post about having a “one-night stand” with Christine O’Donnell, America’s sexy 41-year-old Delaware Water Witch.
One good thing about Wonkette’s amicable divorce from Gawker Media a couple of years ago is that now we can act “above it all” when, say, Gawker posts some puerile thing about Christine O’Donnell not waxing her ladyparts — but then we post the same thing anyway! And then we can call Gawker tacky, for posting such things. Haha, what?
Christine was a decent kisser, but as soon as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said. She didn’t explain at the time that she was a “born-again virgin.” She made it seem like she’d never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age. And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night. But there were signs that she wasn’t very experienced sexually. When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by.
Obviously, that was a big turnoff, and I quickly lost interest.
Obviously? The global population problem could’ve been solved very easily in about 1998 had all of Earth’s Men been like this guy, right? “Yucky yuck, pubic hair. I only want sexytime when the lady looks like a seven-year-old girl.”
Jesus christ, everything and everybody is just gross. Including Wonkette, for posting this. [Gawker]