because didn't thomas jefferson wear a wig?

Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls

Looking good! Now go vote.In other “November is our N word” election news: CEO of fake wrestling/Linda McMahon’s husband “Mr. McMahon” filed a very serious lawsuit, because he was worried that teenagers wearing WWE spandex thongs wouldn’t be allowed to vote — you know, since people dressed like idiots might be considered “political advertising” for Linda McMahon. Anyway, Vince McMahon won his frivolous lawsuit. Yippee, feel free to dress up as “The Ass Demolisher” or whatever those silly WWE spandex men are called! This is just another example of activist judges legislating from the bench. What’s next? Do the gay people in New York get to wear their assless chaps to the polls, even though this would obviously be illegal political advertising for Carl Paladino? Of course. In Barack Obama’s America, No means Yes and Yes means Assless Chaps.

But how serious was this serious threat to Connecticut’s Freedom?

In Connecticut, as in most states, it’s illegal to overtly electioneer that close to the actual ballot box. And last week, a spokesman for the state’s top election official had said that WWE items might be construed as political, given Ms. McMahon’s background. This raised the possibility that wrestling-fan voters might be asked to cover up if they appeared with “WWE” on a hat, shirt, or other piece of clothing.

Mr. McMahon quickly filed a lawsuit to clarify the situation. He won. Smack down!

“Vince McMahon was trying to make an issue where there wasn’t one. So the lawsuit didn’t have traction because it didn’t have a legal basis,” said Connecticut Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz, a Democrat. “So I am happy that this issue is cleared up so we can just move on with a smooth election.”

Oh, so this was just a fake lawsuit about fake wrestling? Ha ha, obviously. It’s the WWE. [Christian Science Monitor]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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    1. Terry

      Because one of the WWE wrestlers would have had a lot more flair and the foot would have stopped a fraction of an inch above the woman's head.

    1. V572625694

      This is the kind of quasi-obscene etymological pedantry that makes our Wonkett what it is, praise Space Zombie Jeebus.

      1. HistoriCat

        Yep – come for the comedy, stay for the pedantry.

        (So how long until some idiot who doesn't know the definition of pedantry gets all up in arms about the use of that word?)

  1. loquacioustunes

    I love Susan Bysiewicz's response, which is basically that she hadn't ever planned on filing a lawsuit, so nice job, Republicans, for trying to make this political.

  2. freakishlywrong

    Look for every wingnut in CT. to go to the polls dressed as complete assholes. And they'll be wearing wrestling garb as well.

      1. freakishlywrong

        I know. I totally flubbed that. I was "working". I meant to say "looking like complete assholes". Which they also do every day.

    1. loquacioustunes

      I will be wearing a jacket and tie when I go to the polls, as I will be on my way to my "job," which few people in Connecticut still have.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Not to worry. Linda M. will use Christine O'Donnell's assertion that if you have a heartbeat, you're guaranteed all Constitutional rights. Viable Fetuses for McMahon!

  3. Progressiveinga

    It's in the Constitution, bitches! 9th Amendment – " The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people". I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!

    1. JMPEsq

      I keep hoping the Supreme Court will determine if the Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments protect the right to party, or if it must be fought for.

    2. BarackMyWorld

      I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!


      Sorry. Wrestling reflex.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    I'm not surprised that wrassling fans are voting GOPer in Conn.

    GOPers and Wrassling fans do have a lot of similarities
    a) they love to watch oiled muscle men in tights grapple each other
    b) love fake fights
    c) think that everything can be solved with a chair or cruise missile to the head
    d) are more than happy to be manipulated by rich people for rich people's benefit

    1. CapeClod

      e) Hire workers as subcontractors so they don't have to supply any benefits when said workers are too mangled up to be useful to them anymore.

    1. V572625694

      Right! "The rights of Teabaggers to peacibly gather and don garments which convey to an impartial obferver the impreffion that the wearer is like unto an affhole shall not be abridged."

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    I just hope that if she gets elected she will throw down a "neck scissors" move on Harry Reid (or whoever replaces him if Angle wins [shudder]) on C-Span2.

  6. JoshuaNorton

    Dear Wonkette:

    My name is Christine O'Donnell. I demand that you do not publish this comment that I'm currently typing onto your website, and that you turn it over to me immediately! Or I will sue!

    P.S. And no wanking, either!

    1. JMPEsq

      Ms. O'Donnell, I hate to break this to you but some of your fans have been violating your anti-wanking prohibition and holding circle jerks on random threads on this blog every day.

  7. Come here a minute

    Smack down!

    Really, Christian Science Monitor? That's not too Christiany, or Journalismish either.

    Oh wait, it's their politics/humor blog — now everyone's getting in on the act.

  8. weejee

    Will that dick Vince McMahon go vote dressed as a penis? Naaah, being a rich sod who is fond of poop packing Teatards in assless chaps he likely will vote absentee – kinda like his ethics.

    1. HELisforHEL

      A penis has worth, so that outfit is out for McMahon. He could go as a pile of radioactive horseshit…oh wait, he wears that 'costume' every day.

  9. EatsBabyDingos

    When Ass Clown costumes are outlawed, only outlaw Ass Clowns will have costumes.

    I'm okay with that. Makes 'em easier to pick out of a crowd.

  10. JackDempsey1

    Point of clarification: is a 3 Stooges eye-poke to the gauntlet of pamphleteers near the entrance to the voting precinct still kosher?

  11. SnarkoMarx

    As a Connecticut resident I believe the real issue at hand here is apparel depicting the cast of HBO's series "The Sopranos" worn at polling places since Linda McMahon appears on many such items in her role as Carmela.

  12. el_chupacabra

    I can't tell you how many times my mind has been changed by a tee-shirted wrestling fan standing in line in front of me. Examples: "I'm not eating here." "I'm not using this restroom." "I think it was #5 who I saw masturbating in the Walgreens."

  13. metamarcisf

    Quick question; What time does the annual Wonkette Christian anti-halloween satire blog appear? I'm due back at the halfway house by 7:00 pm

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Good lord, are you another one of those worthless JDs we were yakking about yesterday?

      I'd like a tall Caffè Americano, please.

        1. SnarkoMarx

          Ahh, I miss old Dead McMahon. Not to mention Dead Knight and Dead Bradley. See what I did there?

  14. neiltheblaze

    "Ass Demolisher" is an overly-exuberant buttsecks devotee with a Craigslist profile. Obviously, he could still be wrestling entertainer too, I suppose. These things are not mutually exclusive.

  15. HELisforHEL

    Great. I can only imagine the number of WWE/McMahon retirees that will be out in force at the pools screaming their delusional teabagger corporate-pawn rants. I just hope they remember to put their teeth in, I don't wanna be subjected to their gummy squealing.

  16. Redhead

    Stupid people are allowed because there are numerous people they could be campaigning for – while O'Donell could be one of those, it's not specific enough.

    Now if I show up in my Halloween costume with my witch hat on, that won't be allowed as it is CLEARLY campaigning for O'Donnell. And if you were to wear a blue Buddha outfit, well, that's clearly campaigning for aqua Buddha boy Rand Paul.

  17. el_donaldo

    He filed and WON a lawsuit just to clear the air?!?

    All those years I could have been suing potential dates for "palimony" before getting to know them.

    1. Stacee

      I wish I'd known that trick too.
      Maybe I'll sue a mechanic because he did not fix my car right, even though he hasn't even worked on my car. Just to clear the air…

  18. MistaEko

    Vince McMahon tried to create an angle and the crowd's not buying it? Seems par for the course.

    /wrestling nerd'd
    //e c dubya, e c dubya

  19. PabaBritannica

    But what if I regularly wear Ric Flair style robes? I know WWE owns WCW and all its characters and stuff now, but since I'm from NC, I could probably make the case that it's religious garb.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Ric Flair is on TNA now, so yes, you can go dressed as The Nature Boy. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  20. transfatz

    "Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls"
    Great, they won't have to change out of their regular clothes.

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