because didn't thomas jefferson wear a wig?

Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls

Looking good! Now go vote.In other “November is our N word” election news: CEO of fake wrestling/Linda McMahon’s husband “Mr. McMahon” filed a very serious lawsuit, because he was worried that teenagers wearing WWE spandex thongs wouldn’t be allowed to vote — you know, since people dressed like idiots might be considered “political advertising” for Linda McMahon. Anyway, Vince McMahon won his frivolous lawsuit. Yippee, feel free to dress up as “The Ass Demolisher” or whatever those silly WWE spandex men are called! This is just another example of activist judges legislating from the bench. What’s next? Do the gay people in New York get to wear their assless chaps to the polls, even though this would obviously be illegal political advertising for Carl Paladino? Of course. In Barack Obama’s America, No means Yes and Yes means Assless Chaps.

But how serious was this serious threat to Connecticut’s Freedom?

In Connecticut, as in most states, it’s illegal to overtly electioneer that close to the actual ballot box. And last week, a spokesman for the state’s top election official had said that WWE items might be construed as political, given Ms. McMahon’s background. This raised the possibility that wrestling-fan voters might be asked to cover up if they appeared with “WWE” on a hat, shirt, or other piece of clothing.

Mr. McMahon quickly filed a lawsuit to clarify the situation. He won. Smack down!

“Vince McMahon was trying to make an issue where there wasn’t one. So the lawsuit didn’t have traction because it didn’t have a legal basis,” said Connecticut Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz, a Democrat. “So I am happy that this issue is cleared up so we can just move on with a smooth election.”

Oh, so this was just a fake lawsuit about fake wrestling? Ha ha, obviously. It’s the WWE. [Christian Science Monitor]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Comments

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  • http://www.ghostnote.net Buzz Feedback

    The guy dressed as the Iron Sheik will get his ass kicked.

  • metamarcisf

    Why isn't the Kentucky Stomper on the McMahon campaign team?

    • Terry

      Because one of the WWE wrestlers would have had a lot more flair and the foot would have stopped a fraction of an inch above the woman's head.

      • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

        Rick Flair that is.

      • HistoriCat

        Needs more chairs to the head.

        • danceswithpalin

          Needs moar chairs to the head (fixated)

  • Maman

    Please note that all chaps are assless…

    • http://www.goodwinart.com GuyClinch

      Although, to be fair, Tea Party chaps have enormous asses.

      • Maman

        Noted

      • x111e7thst

        Some chaps are more assless than others

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        So would tea partiers wear 'Assful Chaps' than ?

    • V572625694

      This is the kind of quasi-obscene etymological pedantry that makes our Wonkett what it is, praise Space Zombie Jeebus.

      • HistoriCat

        Yep – come for the comedy, stay for the pedantry.

        (So how long until some idiot who doesn't know the definition of pedantry gets all up in arms about the use of that word?)

        • Fare la Volpe

          "Pedantry? I never touched the boy!"

          • Maman

            pedantic pederasty?

          • V572625694

            All of you stop being so niggardly!

  • loquacioustunes

    I love Susan Bysiewicz's response, which is basically that she hadn't ever planned on filing a lawsuit, so nice job, Republicans, for trying to make this political.

  • freakishlywrong

    Look for every wingnut in CT. to go to the polls dressed as complete assholes. And they'll be wearing wrestling garb as well.

    • Bluestatelibel

      But they dress like complete assholes everyday–you won't see much of a difference.

      • freakishlywrong

        I know. I totally flubbed that. I was "working". I meant to say "looking like complete assholes". Which they also do every day.

    • loquacioustunes

      I will be wearing a jacket and tie when I go to the polls, as I will be on my way to my "job," which few people in Connecticut still have.

  • JMPEsq

    How can this even be an issue when the fans of the WWF are all too young to vote?

    • V572625694

      They're disenfranchised! IT WILL NOT STAND!

      • bagofmice

        Technically, the franchise is WWE.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Not to worry. Linda M. will use Christine O'Donnell's assertion that if you have a heartbeat, you're guaranteed all Constitutional rights. Viable Fetuses for McMahon!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Or too stupid to find the polling place.

  • Progressiveinga

    It's in the Constitution, bitches! 9th Amendment – " The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people". I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!

    • JMPEsq

      I keep hoping the Supreme Court will determine if the Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments protect the right to party, or if it must be fought for.

      • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

        Which amendment guarantees the Right to Sing the Blues? I need to know this within the next week or so.

      • Doglessliberal

        Ah, shit, it is earworm day. Now I have THAT stuck in my head.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!

      STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! OH MAH GOD!

      Sorry. Wrestling reflex.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I'm not surprised that wrassling fans are voting GOPer in Conn.

    GOPers and Wrassling fans do have a lot of similarities
    a) they love to watch oiled muscle men in tights grapple each other
    b) love fake fights
    c) think that everything can be solved with a chair or cruise missile to the head
    d) are more than happy to be manipulated by rich people for rich people's benefit

    • CapeClod

      e) Hire workers as subcontractors so they don't have to supply any benefits when said workers are too mangled up to be useful to them anymore.

    • Fare la Volpe

      f) Hate minorities.

    • BarackMyWorld

      All of the above.

  • chickensmack

    Does this mean we'll disenfranchise lesbians, because their Doc Martens look like ring boots?

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Isn't dressing like an asshole the First Ammendment?

    • V572625694

      Right! "The rights of Teabaggers to peacibly gather and don garments which convey to an impartial obferver the impreffion that the wearer is like unto an affhole shall not be abridged."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I just hope that if she gets elected she will throw down a "neck scissors" move on Harry Reid (or whoever replaces him if Angle wins [shudder]) on C-Span2.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Dear Wonkette:

    My name is Christine O'Donnell. I demand that you do not publish this comment that I'm currently typing onto your website, and that you turn it over to me immediately! Or I will sue!

    P.S. And no wanking, either!

    • JMPEsq

      It's OK, Wonkette does not allow comments.

      • JoeMamased

        But we're good with wanking.

    • BarackMyWorld

      And no wanking, either!

      Too late.

    • JMPEsq

      Ms. O'Donnell, I hate to break this to you but some of your fans have been violating your anti-wanking prohibition and holding circle jerks on random threads on this blog every day.

  • CapeClod

    When is Jonah Goldberg going to try dressing up as someone other than Spiderman for Halloween?

    • trondant

      Halloween? Try "every weekend."

  • superdave

    Heh-heh. Ass Demolisher.

  • Come here a minute

    Smack down!

    Really, Christian Science Monitor? That's not too Christiany, or Journalismish either.

    Oh wait, it's their politics/humor blog — now everyone's getting in on the act.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Will that dick Vince McMahon go vote dressed as a penis? Naaah, being a rich sod who is fond of poop packing Teatards in assless chaps he likely will vote absentee – kinda like his ethics.

    • HELisforHEL

      A penis has worth, so that outfit is out for McMahon. He could go as a pile of radioactive horseshit…oh wait, he wears that 'costume' every day.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    When Ass Clown costumes are outlawed, only outlaw Ass Clowns will have costumes.

    I'm okay with that. Makes 'em easier to pick out of a crowd.

  • JackDempsey1

    Point of clarification: is a 3 Stooges eye-poke to the gauntlet of pamphleteers near the entrance to the voting precinct still kosher?

    • metamarcisf

      Yes, but not the seltzer spritz to the face or the old head-in-the-vise gag.

    • jodyleek

      El Kabong for FREEDUMB!

  • SnarkoMarx

    As a Connecticut resident I believe the real issue at hand here is apparel depicting the cast of HBO's series "The Sopranos" worn at polling places since Linda McMahon appears on many such items in her role as Carmela.

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Masturbation-themed tee-shirts are right out.

    • MARCdMan

      As is the whole "Big Johnson" line of sportswear.

      • Fare la Volpe

        And "My Little Ponies" for Paladino.

  • nappyduggs

    Sue-plex.

  • el_chupacabra

    I can't tell you how many times my mind has been changed by a tee-shirted wrestling fan standing in line in front of me. Examples: "I'm not eating here." "I'm not using this restroom." "I think it was #5 who I saw masturbating in the Walgreens."

  • metamarcisf

    Quick question; What time does the annual Wonkette Christian anti-halloween satire blog appear? I'm due back at the halfway house by 7:00 pm

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Connecticut + assless chaps = Joe Lieberman.

    You're welcome for the visual!

    • V572625694

      You'll pay for that, or there is no such thing as karma.

    • CapeClod

      Yeah, thanks. Brain bleach, please.

    • hagajim

      Joe Lieberman has no ass…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Thus the assless chaps.

        Logic.

    • Stacee

      I think I hate you.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Yes, but can Koko B Ware bring his parakeet?

  • Mindblank

    Keep 'em out! I do not wish to see anyone's hanging chad clad in spandex.

  • hagajim

    AWESOME! I can now wear my Hulkamaniac banana hammock to the polls….THAT'S RIGHT BROTHER!!!!

  • Failed_2_Menace

    What you gonna do when Ratio Decidendi runs wild on you, Bysiewicz?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Good lord, are you another one of those worthless JDs we were yakking about yesterday?

      I'd like a tall Caffè Americano, please.

  • supernoun

    God bless America.

  • jodyleek

    Linda McMahon? I'd rather vote for Ed McMahon.

    • SnarkoMarx

      You are correct, sir!

      • superdave

        Hey-oooo!

        • SnarkoMarx

          Ahh, I miss old Dead McMahon. Not to mention Dead Knight and Dead Bradley. See what I did there?

  • neiltheblaze

    "Ass Demolisher" is an overly-exuberant buttsecks devotee with a Craigslist profile. Obviously, he could still be wrestling entertainer too, I suppose. These things are not mutually exclusive.

  • HELisforHEL

    Great. I can only imagine the number of WWE/McMahon retirees that will be out in force at the pools screaming their delusional teabagger corporate-pawn rants. I just hope they remember to put their teeth in, I don't wanna be subjected to their gummy squealing.

  • Redhead

    Stupid people are allowed because there are numerous people they could be campaigning for – while O'Donell could be one of those, it's not specific enough.

    Now if I show up in my Halloween costume with my witch hat on, that won't be allowed as it is CLEARLY campaigning for O'Donnell. And if you were to wear a blue Buddha outfit, well, that's clearly campaigning for aqua Buddha boy Rand Paul.

  • el_donaldo

    He filed and WON a lawsuit just to clear the air?!?

    All those years I could have been suing potential dates for "palimony" before getting to know them.

    • Stacee

      I wish I'd known that trick too.
      Maybe I'll sue a mechanic because he did not fix my car right, even though he hasn't even worked on my car. Just to clear the air…

  • MistaEko

    Vince McMahon tried to create an angle and the crowd's not buying it? Seems par for the course.

    /wrestling nerd'd
    //e c dubya, e c dubya

  • PabaBritannica

    But what if I regularly wear Ric Flair style robes? I know WWE owns WCW and all its characters and stuff now, but since I'm from NC, I could probably make the case that it's religious garb.

    • GOPCrusher

      Ric Flair is on TNA now, so yes, you can go dressed as The Nature Boy. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • PhillipMarlowe6

    Can I go dressed as David Dr. D Schultz and bitch-slap John Stossel or someother FOX flunkie?

  • transfatz

    "Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls"
    Great, they won't have to change out of their regular clothes.

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