BECAUSE DIDN'T THOMAS JEFFERSON WEAR A WIG?  10:06 am October 28, 2010

Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls

by Riley Waggaman

Looking good! Now go vote.In other “November is our N word” election news: CEO of fake wrestling/Linda McMahon’s husband “Mr. McMahon” filed a very serious lawsuit, because he was worried that teenagers wearing WWE spandex thongs wouldn’t be allowed to vote — you know, since people dressed like idiots might be considered “political advertising” for Linda McMahon. Anyway, Vince McMahon won his frivolous lawsuit. Yippee, feel free to dress up as “The Ass Demolisher” or whatever those silly WWE spandex men are called! This is just another example of activist judges legislating from the bench. What’s next? Do the gay people in New York get to wear their assless chaps to the polls, even though this would obviously be illegal political advertising for Carl Paladino? Of course. In Barack Obama’s America, No means Yes and Yes means Assless Chaps.

But how serious was this serious threat to Connecticut’s Freedom?

In Connecticut, as in most states, it’s illegal to overtly electioneer that close to the actual ballot box. And last week, a spokesman for the state’s top election official had said that WWE items might be construed as political, given Ms. McMahon’s background. This raised the possibility that wrestling-fan voters might be asked to cover up if they appeared with “WWE” on a hat, shirt, or other piece of clothing.

Mr. McMahon quickly filed a lawsuit to clarify the situation. He won. Smack down!

“Vince McMahon was trying to make an issue where there wasn’t one. So the lawsuit didn’t have traction because it didn’t have a legal basis,” said Connecticut Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz, a Democrat. “So I am happy that this issue is cleared up so we can just move on with a smooth election.”

Oh, so this was just a fake lawsuit about fake wrestling? Ha ha, obviously. It’s the WWE. [Christian Science Monitor]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 90 comments }

Buzz Feedback October 28, 2010 at 10:10 am

The guy dressed as the Iron Sheik will get his ass kicked.

metamarcisf October 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

Why isn't the Kentucky Stomper on the McMahon campaign team?

Terry October 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

Because one of the WWE wrestlers would have had a lot more flair and the foot would have stopped a fraction of an inch above the woman's head.

Pop_Socket October 28, 2010 at 11:02 am

Rick Flair that is.

HistoriCat October 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

Needs more chairs to the head.

danceswithpalin October 28, 2010 at 11:38 am

Needs moar chairs to the head (fixated)

Maman October 28, 2010 at 10:14 am

Please note that all chaps are assless…

GuyClinch October 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

Although, to be fair, Tea Party chaps have enormous asses.

Maman October 28, 2010 at 10:22 am

Noted

x111e7thst October 28, 2010 at 10:59 am

Some chaps are more assless than others

Rarian Rakista October 29, 2010 at 1:08 am

So would tea partiers wear 'Assful Chaps' than ?

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 10:42 am

This is the kind of quasi-obscene etymological pedantry that makes our Wonkett what it is, praise Space Zombie Jeebus.

HistoriCat October 28, 2010 at 11:22 am

Yep – come for the comedy, stay for the pedantry.

(So how long until some idiot who doesn't know the definition of pedantry gets all up in arms about the use of that word?)

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 11:23 am

"Pedantry? I never touched the boy!"

Maman October 28, 2010 at 11:40 am

pedantic pederasty?

loquacioustunes October 28, 2010 at 10:15 am

I love Susan Bysiewicz's response, which is basically that she hadn't ever planned on filing a lawsuit, so nice job, Republicans, for trying to make this political.

freakishlywrong October 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

Look for every wingnut in CT. to go to the polls dressed as complete assholes. And they'll be wearing wrestling garb as well.

Bluestatelibel October 28, 2010 at 10:35 am

But they dress like complete assholes everyday–you won't see much of a difference.

freakishlywrong October 28, 2010 at 10:38 am

I know. I totally flubbed that. I was "working". I meant to say "looking like complete assholes". Which they also do every day.

loquacioustunes October 28, 2010 at 10:46 am

I will be wearing a jacket and tie when I go to the polls, as I will be on my way to my "job," which few people in Connecticut still have.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

How can this even be an issue when the fans of the WWF are all too young to vote?

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 10:24 am

They're disenfranchised! IT WILL NOT STAND!

bagofmice October 28, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Technically, the franchise is WWE.

elviouslyqueer October 28, 2010 at 10:30 am

Not to worry. Linda M. will use Christine O'Donnell's assertion that if you have a heartbeat, you're guaranteed all Constitutional rights. Viable Fetuses for McMahon!

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 10:37 am

It really gets weird when the fetuses want Second Amendment rights.

GuyClinch October 28, 2010 at 10:46 am

Jesus' General already figured this one out: http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2003/05/its-time-t

johnnyzhivago October 28, 2010 at 10:25 am

Or too stupid to find the polling place.

Progressiveinga October 28, 2010 at 10:26 am

It's in the Constitution, bitches! 9th Amendment – " The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people". I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 10:32 am

I keep hoping the Supreme Court will determine if the Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments protect the right to party, or if it must be fought for.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 28, 2010 at 10:39 am

Which amendment guarantees the Right to Sing the Blues? I need to know this within the next week or so.

Doglessliberal October 28, 2010 at 11:02 am

Ah, shit, it is earworm day. Now I have THAT stuck in my head.

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 11:38 am

I have a god-given, stone-cold, inalienable effin' RIGHT to disparage these 'roid infested asshats in tights standing in line to vote for losers!

STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! OH MAH GOD!

Sorry. Wrestling reflex.

ManchuCandidate October 28, 2010 at 10:27 am

I'm not surprised that wrassling fans are voting GOPer in Conn.

GOPers and Wrassling fans do have a lot of similarities
a) they love to watch oiled muscle men in tights grapple each other
b) love fake fights
c) think that everything can be solved with a chair or cruise missile to the head
d) are more than happy to be manipulated by rich people for rich people's benefit

CapeClod October 28, 2010 at 10:40 am

e) Hire workers as subcontractors so they don't have to supply any benefits when said workers are too mangled up to be useful to them anymore.

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 11:22 am

f) Hate minorities.

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 11:35 am

All of the above.

chickensmack October 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

Does this mean we'll disenfranchise lesbians, because their Doc Martens look like ring boots?

johnnyzhivago October 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

Isn't dressing like an asshole the First Ammendment?

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

Right! "The rights of Teabaggers to peacibly gather and don garments which convey to an impartial obferver the impreffion that the wearer is like unto an affhole shall not be abridged."

BaldarTFlagass October 28, 2010 at 10:29 am

I just hope that if she gets elected she will throw down a "neck scissors" move on Harry Reid (or whoever replaces him if Angle wins [shudder]) on C-Span2.

JoshuaNorton October 28, 2010 at 10:30 am

Dear Wonkette:

My name is Christine O'Donnell. I demand that you do not publish this comment that I'm currently typing onto your website, and that you turn it over to me immediately! Or I will sue!

P.S. And no wanking, either!

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 10:50 am

It's OK, Wonkette does not allow comments.

JoeMamased October 28, 2010 at 11:05 am

But we're good with wanking.

BarackMyWorld October 28, 2010 at 11:36 am

And no wanking, either!

Too late.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Ms. O'Donnell, I hate to break this to you but some of your fans have been violating your anti-wanking prohibition and holding circle jerks on random threads on this blog every day.

CapeClod October 28, 2010 at 10:30 am

When is Jonah Goldberg going to try dressing up as someone other than Spiderman for Halloween?

trondant October 28, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Halloween? Try "every weekend."

superdave October 28, 2010 at 10:32 am

Heh-heh. Ass Demolisher.

Come here a minute October 28, 2010 at 10:34 am

Smack down!

Really, Christian Science Monitor? That's not too Christiany, or Journalismish either.

Oh wait, it's their politics/humor blog — now everyone's getting in on the act.

weejee October 28, 2010 at 10:34 am

Will that dick Vince McMahon go vote dressed as a penis? Naaah, being a rich sod who is fond of poop packing Teatards in assless chaps he likely will vote absentee – kinda like his ethics.

HELisforHEL October 28, 2010 at 11:23 am

A penis has worth, so that outfit is out for McMahon. He could go as a pile of radioactive horseshit…oh wait, he wears that 'costume' every day.

EatsBabyDingos October 28, 2010 at 10:35 am

When Ass Clown costumes are outlawed, only outlaw Ass Clowns will have costumes.

I'm okay with that. Makes 'em easier to pick out of a crowd.

JackDempsey1 October 28, 2010 at 10:36 am

Point of clarification: is a 3 Stooges eye-poke to the gauntlet of pamphleteers near the entrance to the voting precinct still kosher?

metamarcisf October 28, 2010 at 10:40 am

Yes, but not the seltzer spritz to the face or the old head-in-the-vise gag.

jodyleek October 28, 2010 at 10:56 am

El Kabong for FREEDUMB!

SnarkoMarx October 28, 2010 at 10:40 am

As a Connecticut resident I believe the real issue at hand here is apparel depicting the cast of HBO's series "The Sopranos" worn at polling places since Linda McMahon appears on many such items in her role as Carmela.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

Masturbation-themed tee-shirts are right out.

MARCdMan October 28, 2010 at 10:49 am

As is the whole "Big Johnson" line of sportswear.

Fare la Volpe October 28, 2010 at 11:26 am

And "My Little Ponies" for Paladino.

nappyduggs October 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

Sue-plex.

el_chupacabra October 28, 2010 at 10:43 am

I can't tell you how many times my mind has been changed by a tee-shirted wrestling fan standing in line in front of me. Examples: "I'm not eating here." "I'm not using this restroom." "I think it was #5 who I saw masturbating in the Walgreens."

metamarcisf October 28, 2010 at 10:44 am

Quick question; What time does the annual Wonkette Christian anti-halloween satire blog appear? I'm due back at the halfway house by 7:00 pm

Texan_Bulldog October 28, 2010 at 10:45 am

Connecticut + assless chaps = Joe Lieberman.

You're welcome for the visual!

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 10:51 am

You'll pay for that, or there is no such thing as karma.

CapeClod October 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

Yeah, thanks. Brain bleach, please.

hagajim October 28, 2010 at 11:06 am

Joe Lieberman has no ass…

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Thus the assless chaps.

Logic.

Stacee October 28, 2010 at 6:08 pm

I think I hate you.

Gratuitous World October 28, 2010 at 10:58 am

Yes, but can Koko B Ware bring his parakeet?

Mindblank October 28, 2010 at 11:01 am

Keep 'em out! I do not wish to see anyone's hanging chad clad in spandex.

hagajim October 28, 2010 at 11:05 am

AWESOME! I can now wear my Hulkamaniac banana hammock to the polls….THAT'S RIGHT BROTHER!!!!

Failed_2_Menace October 28, 2010 at 11:08 am

What you gonna do when Ratio Decidendi runs wild on you, Bysiewicz?

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Good lord, are you another one of those worthless JDs we were yakking about yesterday?

I'd like a tall Caffè Americano, please.

supernoun October 28, 2010 at 11:14 am

God bless America.

jodyleek October 28, 2010 at 11:19 am

Linda McMahon? I'd rather vote for Ed McMahon.

SnarkoMarx October 28, 2010 at 11:25 am

You are correct, sir!

superdave October 28, 2010 at 11:40 am

Hey-oooo!

SnarkoMarx October 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Ahh, I miss old Dead McMahon. Not to mention Dead Knight and Dead Bradley. See what I did there?

neiltheblaze October 28, 2010 at 11:25 am

"Ass Demolisher" is an overly-exuberant buttsecks devotee with a Craigslist profile. Obviously, he could still be wrestling entertainer too, I suppose. These things are not mutually exclusive.

HELisforHEL October 28, 2010 at 11:32 am

Great. I can only imagine the number of WWE/McMahon retirees that will be out in force at the pools screaming their delusional teabagger corporate-pawn rants. I just hope they remember to put their teeth in, I don't wanna be subjected to their gummy squealing.

Redhead October 28, 2010 at 11:39 am

Stupid people are allowed because there are numerous people they could be campaigning for – while O'Donell could be one of those, it's not specific enough.

Now if I show up in my Halloween costume with my witch hat on, that won't be allowed as it is CLEARLY campaigning for O'Donnell. And if you were to wear a blue Buddha outfit, well, that's clearly campaigning for aqua Buddha boy Rand Paul.

el_donaldo October 28, 2010 at 12:02 pm

He filed and WON a lawsuit just to clear the air?!?

All those years I could have been suing potential dates for "palimony" before getting to know them.

Stacee October 28, 2010 at 6:11 pm

I wish I'd known that trick too.
Maybe I'll sue a mechanic because he did not fix my car right, even though he hasn't even worked on my car. Just to clear the air…

MistaEko October 28, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Vince McMahon tried to create an angle and the crowd's not buying it? Seems par for the course.

/wrestling nerd'd
//e c dubya, e c dubya

PabaBritannica October 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm

But what if I regularly wear Ric Flair style robes? I know WWE owns WCW and all its characters and stuff now, but since I'm from NC, I could probably make the case that it's religious garb.

GOPCrusher October 28, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Ric Flair is on TNA now, so yes, you can go dressed as The Nature Boy. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PhillipMarlowe6 October 29, 2010 at 12:39 am

Can I go dressed as David Dr. D Schultz and bitch-slap John Stossel or someother FOX flunkie?

transfatz October 29, 2010 at 3:20 am

"Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls"
Great, they won't have to change out of their regular clothes.

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Read more at Wonkette: The Great DC Drag Queen Race

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 12:03 pm

All of you stop being so niggardly!

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