Oh God, Who Paid Laura Bush To Speak To a Crowd?

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Los Angeles (CNN) – Former first lady Laura Bush had her audience LOL (laughing out loud) at a women’s conference in Long Beach, California Tuesday.

Thanks, CNN, for that very hip use of “LOL.” Journalism! You know, CNN, if your audience is so stupid that you had to write “(laughing out loud)” in the opening line of your article, perhaps you could have just written “had her audience laughing” and saved yourself embarrassment. But CNN.com will never have shame, so whatevs.

“As for me, it’s come to this,” Mrs. Bush said of her life after eight years in the White House, placing the doll on the glass plate. “This is the Laura Bush bobble head doll. I got this from a friend of mine who found it in the gift shop in the constitutional center a few weeks after the election. It was on the clearance shelf. He said he couldn’t resist sending it to me, I told him he could have tried a little harder. But I’m kinda glad to have it.”

Clearance shelf. [CNN]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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