NEW STUDY PROVES IT  5:49 pm October 27, 2010

Scientists Discover Sexy ‘Liberal Gene’

by Ken Layne

Sexytime.What makes people “liberal,” anyway? According to liberal university research scientists at liberal universities somewhere, being liberal means that you are an awesome person with many sexy friends. This is why you are so cool! Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college, which is proof of the “novelty gene.”

According to this paper in the Cambridge Journal of Politics, the special “friendy gene” makes you seek novelty (threesomes) and as a result, you meet many different kinds of people, and do not hate them just because they might have more or less money or education or white pigment than you do:

Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, we test this hypothesis by investigating an association between self-reported political ideology and the 7R variant of the dopamine receptor D4 gene (DRD4), which has previously been associated with novelty seeking. Among those with DRD4-7R, we find that the number of friendships a person has in adolescence is significantly associated with liberal political ideology.

This is why when Wonkette commenters who are also white gals see a picture of Barack Obama, they do not think, “Oh jesus christ get in the car it’s a negro.” Instead, they have to sit on a towel. [Cambridge Journal of Politics]

 
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{ 204 comments }

bitchincamaro2 October 27, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Why do you think they call it, "the 7R variant of the dopamine receptor D4 gene (DRD4)"?

Radiotherapy October 27, 2010 at 5:59 pm

But it still doesn't explain teabagging.

SimonGirty October 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

It simply means that the 'bagger fellers can only consummate coitus with actual GIRLS, by executing first her extended family, then calling in the Apaches to clean up with miniguns? Then accusing people with the DRD4-7R gene of treason, once their snuff .avi videos are leaked onto YouTube?

facehead October 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Wonkette is such a bunch of DRD4-7R-tards…

Crank_Tango October 27, 2010 at 5:56 pm

if there is no oral left, i'll take some anal. let me rephrase that–I'll give some anal.

BaldarTFlagass October 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Damn, almost hadja. Watch out, he's Navy-trained!!

PsycWench October 27, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Wouldn't that involve providing the actual anus? You adventurer, you.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm

oh my, you may have a point there. I guess I can pick up some anus warps at mcdonalds. or it might have been angus wraps, but whatever…

Extemporanus October 27, 2010 at 6:34 pm

"Anus warps" give me the shits.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2010 at 6:45 pm

yeah they really work the old wormhole don't they?

BornInATrailer October 28, 2010 at 7:27 am

Let's do the anus warp again…

Badonkadonkette October 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Once they isolate the furry gene, they'll be able to explain what makes people Republican.

natoslug October 27, 2010 at 5:58 pm

I'm so confused. Does this mean there are people out there who DON'T seek out threesomes and groups? I thought that was a human thing, not a liberal thing.

Radiotherapy October 27, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Can I borrow that towel?

Come here a minute October 27, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Ran into a water buffalo?

the_problem_child October 27, 2010 at 8:49 pm

Nope, I'm already sitting on it. But you can sit on my lap.

Terry October 27, 2010 at 6:01 pm

" Instead, they have to sit on a towel."

The socially acceptable way of saying this is to say the women go "squeeeeeeeeeee!"

LionelHutzEsq October 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Or "Sploosh!"

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Not sure that social acceptability is one of the stated goals of this blog. In fact, saying socially unacceptable things here is a healthy outlet, unless you're the kind of obsessive who's commenting here at all times of the day or night. Like us.

Doglessliberal October 28, 2010 at 9:55 am

I said oooooooh when I saw this one. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Q3k27dA5IUg/TAuhcc8Bs1I

Lucidamente1 October 27, 2010 at 6:01 pm

"Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health" is the surest way to get laid.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 12:08 am

Roman Polanski, is that you?

DashboardBuddha October 27, 2010 at 6:01 pm

How does this explain self-hating, diaper wearing, toilet stall tappers?

kenlayisalive October 27, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Well, that behavior is due to the "LC-TH69" gene. Otherwise known as the "Larry Craig – Ted Haggard Sixty-Nining" gene. (okay, sorry, I just puked in my own mouth).

Also causes a crippling disease which doesn't allow Republicans to be able to carry their own luggage on island getaways.

Beowoof October 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm

That is exacerbated by the THC gene. A California phenomenon.

kenlayisalive October 27, 2010 at 6:02 pm

See, this makes sense why Republicans seem like pent-up sex-starved maniacs. They can't get close enough to another person to fuck them.

But what it doesn't explain why they're against masturbating. I mean, you don't even need a friend for that.

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm

First you have to love yourself.

Kevin Stowell October 27, 2010 at 8:29 pm

"you don't even need a friend for that."

Why are you so cranky then?

Rebas_Thgil October 27, 2010 at 8:38 pm

'Cause he DOES need a friend for that – and can't find one?!?

Kevin Stowell October 27, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Manuela won't even come through? That's just sad.

di_da_is_alpha October 27, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Looks like he found one ………………. http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGdSqVychMz3oAxgNXNyo

Kevin Stowell October 27, 2010 at 9:06 pm

ROTF You're killing me, di_da.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 12:52 am

But they do apparently love circle jerks, to the point of pretending the world's least funny jokes are hilarious.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:03 am

Hey dumbass, why did you lie about Henry Ford giving his employees good wages and benefits BEFORE unionization? Read the link Rant left for you. Or don't and stay ignorant, but don't lie about that of which you don't know. It makes your side look even further out of touch with reality than you already are.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:11 am

Uh, Rant's admitted to a) taking Ayn Rand seriously, and b) being a fucking creationist, so I know I'm safe in ignoring any link the moron sends to defend a Nazi sympathizer.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:12 am

Ignorant it is. Good nuff. Just don't lie now.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:21 am

Are you trying to say that a Nazi-sympathing douche who confuses pulp right-wing literature with philosophy AND believes that dinosaurs are a trick may not be a reliable source on other topics?

Come on JMP, where is your tolerance?

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:26 am

Well, we do know that watching animals hump things is a favorite pastime of New York Republicans like Carl Paladino, so maybe the fad is catching on even among these rubes.

GodHelpUsAll912 October 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

" Well, we do know that watching animals hump things is a favorite pasttime"

We figured that's your talent just by this filthy blog.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Hey there Kenny. If you read the article entirely you will see that the only place they could find that gene was in fecal scrapings. So of course that begs another question. Could it have been something you ate? Much like a dog eating turds, who really knows what could turd up?

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm

And to think you kiss your sister with that mouth. Lord have mercy.

Kevin Stowell October 28, 2010 at 9:04 am

Didn't get it, huh?

SayItWithWookies October 27, 2010 at 6:02 pm

I think most people seek pleasure — the real genetic difference is that some seek pleasure, and others seek pleasure after a full day of railing against it to their wives, coworkers and constituents.

elfgoldsackring October 27, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Yep, for some the only pleasure is taking away other people's pleasure.

Kevin Stowell October 27, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Like socialist slackers using the force of government to demand that the producers take care of them? Got it. Got industry?

SayItWithWookies October 27, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Exactly. Because as a loyal capitalist I believe it's my civic duty to be as self-interested as possible — even to such extremes as demanding my employer pay me a living wage, reasonable leave, health insurance and acceptable working conditions because that's what my labor is worth. Or are you just one of those free-market hypocrites who believe only the capitalists should be free to be self-interested? Because if you're only expecting half the free-market system to act like the free market system you've got a bit of myopia going on.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:43 am

Yeah, I can see the "Got Industry?" ad with Kevin now. It's a photo of him right after the boss has given him a Dirty Sanchez.

GOPCrusher October 28, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Is that the same as the "I got mine, fuck you" economic principle?

Lucidamente1 October 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm

DRD4-7R deficiency leads to head stomping.

Beowoof October 27, 2010 at 6:21 pm

And I thought it was a lack of oral or too much anal.

Tengu October 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm

… and being conservative indicates a completely different body receptor.

metamarcisf October 27, 2010 at 6:07 pm

When asked by Rachel Maddow whether being liberal was a choice, Joe Miller responded that "it really is a state issue". After Maddow asked him to clarify, Miller said, "I think that's up to the individual".

Maddow: "Do you think there should be a constitutional amendment banning liberals?"

Miller: "I would vote for it. But it would require an amendment to the constitution."

twogoats October 27, 2010 at 6:08 pm

useful info for consideration by the Death Pannels, no?

emmelemm October 27, 2010 at 6:18 pm

And they said there's no use for science!

Tommmcattt October 27, 2010 at 8:42 pm

YES! When are those goddam things gonna kick in anyway? I have my list all ready!

PalinPussyPower October 27, 2010 at 6:10 pm

I immediately call for an end to federal funding of these clearly biased studies. Shouldn't our tax dollars be spent on something that will produce more useful results, like Abstinence-Only Education or Intelligent Design? Also too? Who cares that a bunch of liberal heathens are screwing eachother's every orifice? You needed some university professor to tell ya that, Joe? I coulda toldja that without no fancy research grant, such as.

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 6:36 pm

I like the jib of your cut, and granted you a green-p.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 27, 2010 at 8:01 pm

You like the jib of her WHAT?

V572625694 October 28, 2010 at 12:07 am

Meant to say “the junt of your kib.”

Ein_Rant October 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Tell me Pussy, what books have you read that honestly deal with the theory of Intelligent Design? Do you reject the fact that specified complexity has trillions of examples as having come from an a source of intelligence, and not one single instance can be demonstrated definitively as having occurred by random chance? Did your kool-aid guzzling, Darwin worshiping teachers ever bother to tell you that evolution cannot occur until there is something there to evolve? Did they kind of skip over the inconvenient fact that Darwin's theory fails to explain the origin of life? Cambridge educated scientists with PhDs have calculated that if each atom in the universe represented a "chance" for all of the necessary preconditions for the formation of amino acids, RNA and DNA and that it would survive long enough to replicate itself is significantly less than 1… But you knew that, and hence we are just some damned lucky son's of bitches, ain't we now? Sure…

di_da_is_alpha October 27, 2010 at 11:19 pm

"PalinPussyPower"? You weenies jealous? I mean, you don't see any small government types with the handle " PelosiPussyPower". Holy mackerel, that turned my stomach just typing it.

Ein_Rant October 27, 2010 at 11:42 pm

Perhaps we need the Botox_BattleAxe on the scene here? She is ugly, but to say she is a dog would be an insult to three (and four)-legged creatures everywhere…

http://www.fireandreamitchell.com/wp-content/gall

http://scaredmonkeys.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/

http://www.fireandreamitchell.com/wp-content/gall

Sorry for the nightmares…

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2010 at 1:35 am

yes well I'm guessin' stomach turnin' is a specialty of yours based on the fuckin' moronic staements you've made 'round these parts (and I'd bet BIG money that 'pussy' ain't even on your list of preferred genitalia! )moron…also :)

Ein_Rant October 27, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Second attempt (Thanks, Admin…)

Tell me P*ssy, what books have you read that honestly deal with the theory of Intelligent Design? Do you reject the fact that specified complexity has trillions of examples as having come from a source of intelligence, and not one single instance can be demonstrated definitively as having occurred by random chance? Did your kool-aid guzzling, Darwin worshiping teachers ever bother to tell you that evolution cannot occur until there is something there to evolve? Did they kind of skip over the inconvenient fact that Darwin's theory fails to explain the origin of life? Cambridge educated scientists with PhDs have calculated that if each atom in the universe represented a "chance" for all of the necessary preconditions for the formation of amino acids, RNA and DNA and that it would survive long enough to replicate itself is significantly less than 1… But you knew that, and hence we are just some damned lucky son's of b*tches, ain't we now? Sure…

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 12:17 am

Jesus says you're boring.

PalinPussyPower October 28, 2010 at 12:34 am

I'm sorry. I stopped reading as soon as I saw that you had to sanitize the word "pussy". Maybe next time, champ.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 12:58 am

He doesn't want people to think he's supporting the kool-aid scientists' theory of sexual reproduction, rejecting the fact of the stork.

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 1:22 am

Sorry 'babe', but Admin flushed that… I have no problem typing or eating pussy when it is clean… Perhaps Admin didn't like b*tches? Difficult to discern, as my primary account can post 1,200 words of any flavor I choose… An ID thing, not me… Pussy… Read it and weep pea brain, you have no answers for the non-Christian, non-Jew, non-conservative and non-Atheist independent thinker that I am… Sorry, chump…

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 1:25 am

Admin says no again? What is it with this site? Sanitized 'cause the 'chaperon' thinks you drivel-headed teen-types can't handle me…

Sorry 'babe', but Admin flushed that… I have no problem typing or eating p*ssy when it is clean… Perhaps Admin didn't like b*tches? Difficult to discern, as my primary account can post 1,200 words of any flavor I choose… An ID thing, not me… P*ssy… Read it and weep pea brain, you have no answers for the non-Christian, non-Jew, non-conservative and non-Atheist independent thinker that I am… Sorry, chump…

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:00 am

Hahahaaaa… oh man. No WAY you could come close to rank the shit we say on here. Don't worry weirdo, you weren't censored.

You just don't have it in you to get really rank I'm thinking. Also, giving your blow up doll a bleach rubdown still doesn't make that "eating a clean pussy".

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 12:56 am

Oh god, here you proved you were an idiot by defending fucking Ayn Rand, but now you double down on creationism! So you believe the Earth is flat. Well, thank you for proving that nothing you say can be taken seriously!

God, creationists really do exist; it's hard to believe people can actually be that dumb, but here one is.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:27 am

Oh, jesus, you're an idiot. Do you know what a deist is? Look it up you blithering fool. And don't bother answering my last post to you, now I have the answer. Idiot.

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 1:30 am

I never defended "F*cking Ayn Rand". She was almost as ugly as a Leftard/Progturd… I don't "believe" anything – I require evidence… Real evidence, and good argument… Apparently you didn't read my post, as I see ZERO in the way of refutation of my factual assertions. Will you ever tire of being a spoon-fed loser? Try again, turd…

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:37 am

Someone who supported creationism over proven scientific fact says they require evidence, OK….

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 3:05 am

Look, no one who has seen her photo would defend fucking Ayn Rand, but, just for the record, would you or would you not eat her pussy (if it was clean)?

America needs to know.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:19 am

Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 1:31 am

I attract, you repulse… Next question…

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:05 am

Spoken like a true nerd.

Actually though, I know two rapping clowns who desperately need to hear what you just said.

JoeMamased October 28, 2010 at 10:11 am

Y'all motherfuckers lying and gettin me pissed.

GOPCrusher October 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

When did the internet get to Kansas?

marinmaven October 28, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Read Kitzmiller v. Dover which was decided by a consevative republican appointed by George W. Bush. He found among other things that, "The overwhelming evidence at trial established that ID is a religious view, a mere re-labeling of creationism, and not a scientific theory." Furthermore, Judge Jones opined, "ID is not science. We find that ID fails on three different levels, any one of which is sufficient to preclude a determination that ID is science. They are: (1) ID violates the centuries-old ground rules of science by invoking and permitting supernatural causation; (2) the argument of irreducible complexity, central to ID, employs the same flawed and illogical contrived dualism that doomed creation science in the 1980s; and (3) ID's negative attacks on evolution have been refuted by the scientific community."

Sorry, you fail. Game Over, dude. Thanks for playing.

Gratuitous World October 27, 2010 at 6:12 pm

so my DRD4 Halloween costume should end my lifelong quest for a threesome?

gurukalehuru October 27, 2010 at 6:13 pm

No snark here, this is just bloody obvious. If you use terms like "acceptable collateral damage" or "you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs" or "torture isn't really all that bad," it's pretty clear that you don't like other people very much.

Banelm October 27, 2010 at 6:50 pm

…. Not to mention the "Preservation of bodily fluids" fixation….

Numbat_Dundee October 27, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Those who preserve their bodily fluids become bloated bags of bodily fluid – humungous containers of unused semen and/or vaginal juices that make a squelching noise if you touch them.

EdFlintstone October 27, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Does this mean people living in their bunkers, planting "survival gardens" and ordering Glenn Beck's freeze dried foods aren't well rounded, nice people?

Beowoof October 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm

No they are still batshit crazy fucktards who only fuck people just like them.

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Isn't the real mystery why such monstrously unfuckable people keep getting pregnant?

elfgoldsackring October 27, 2010 at 6:46 pm

An' gittin' their young'uns snatched? No, wait, that isn't a mystery at all.

thecryingeagle October 27, 2010 at 6:15 pm

I am heading over to Craig's List Casual Encounters to test out this hypothesis.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2010 at 6:36 pm

LOL Larry Craig's List might be more enlightening.

HempDogbane October 27, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Rush explained it better on his radio show.

LionelHutzEsq October 27, 2010 at 6:56 pm

That just because you are a pill-popping, boy-loving, beard-marrying sex machine, that doesn't mean you are liberal?

fuflans October 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm

the eagle penis looks like a pez dispenser.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 7:40 pm

That would be the "Novelty" part of that gene.

Litlebritdifrnt October 27, 2010 at 6:21 pm

"Instead, they have to sit on a towel."

That made me literally LOL. Thanks for that Ken.

Beetagger October 27, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Amen. Best line of the day.

LionelHutzEsq October 27, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college . . .

Does it matter if your friends were passed out at the time? Because, based upon stories here on Wonkette, many Young Republicans are also liberals then.

LionelHutzEsq October 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm

And how does any of this explain David Vitter or Christine O'Donnell? Is there a gene for diaper wearing or pudding cup beard loving?

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 6:38 pm

I thought we agreed never to speak of the P-CB again.

LionelHutzEsq October 27, 2010 at 6:46 pm

If it is genetics, we will just have to learn to live with women who love P-CB.

Sparky_McGruff October 27, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Sure, I study dopamine receptors (among other things). But I'll I'm saying is that you couldn't pay me enough to study Vitter or O'Donnell. I'm pretty sure that they'd clog the thermocycler, and leave stinky brown stains on the gel.

deelzebub October 27, 2010 at 6:31 pm

We need one of those janitors with a philosophy ph.d. to answer that.

neiltheblaze October 27, 2010 at 6:32 pm

So all this time I haven't been a licentious, pleasure seeking, sensualist perv, but merely exercising my "novelty gene". Sweet!

zhubajie October 27, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Experience of being cheated and mistreated, used and abused, by conservacrooks has something to do with it, too.

iburl October 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm

If I unnerstand correctly, we can cure the teabaggers of their hate and stupidity by simply removing their mouse-human hybrid brainses and replacing them with this here R2D2 shit. Maybe president VanJones could Apollo-style this shit.

Come here a minute October 27, 2010 at 6:36 pm

As my liberal grandma always used to say, "never look a fat dog in the eye."

zhubajie October 27, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Some unfortunates are born into Republican families and are raised as Republicans, whether it is really their personality or not. Like being a cradle catholic but worse.

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 12:20 am

Hey I was both, but I turned out OK. Guess they just weren't in my genes.

Missyb9479 October 27, 2010 at 6:45 pm

Liberals have more friends? I'm obviously doing something wrong.

elfgoldsackring October 27, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Awww… Maybe in you it takes the form of finding novel things to do to your enemies? That can be fun too…

HistoriCat October 27, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Right there with you Missyb. I feel so cheated. Am I a fraud? If I don't have many friends, maybe I'm not really a liberal.

MsQuasimodo October 30, 2010 at 12:07 am

How many of us have Aspergers?

donner_froh October 27, 2010 at 6:55 pm

What does that mean for Carl Paladino who seeks novelty through human/horse sex porn?

ifthethunderdontgetya October 27, 2010 at 7:31 pm

He's just a furry wannabee.
~

Not_So_Much October 27, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Somebody owes me some fucking threesomes around here!

(and I'd prefer they not be the involuntary, prison kind)

loquacioustunes October 27, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health,

Adolescent health? This must have been a Republican-funded study.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 27, 2010 at 7:29 pm

YOU MEAN I WAS BORN THIS WAY????!!!!!!
*Monsieur Grumpe runs down the hall screaming and cursing his mother and father*

Pragmatist2 October 27, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Oh, man, I think I missed out on something.
I must have been stoned when they had the class that explained this.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 7:43 pm

So we're waiting on data from the National Latitudinal Study of Elderly Health to find out why Republicans only want to fuck everyone through wars and scams?

John_Lemon October 27, 2010 at 8:08 pm

So, the Rally to Restore Sanity should be a cumfest, right?

Reminder to self: Don't forget your towel..a man knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

PublicLuxury October 27, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Is there are line for the oral? It's probably the long one, just like at the DMV. EVERYBODY will want to be in the good line. Those that risk expediency and join the short line find others with sticks up their asses too. Also. And they tend to choose riding the 'short bus' to and from school, too. Also.

PublicLuxury October 27, 2010 at 8:12 pm

Does this mean that Sarah and Todd have never had any felating fun? A couple of those kids should've been blow jobs. Too. Also. you betcha.

imissopus October 27, 2010 at 11:06 pm

How awesome would it be to tell your kids that when they piss you off? "If it was up to me you'd have just been a pearl necklace your mom wiped off with a Kleenex but nooooooooo, she wanted to make love…

hagajim October 28, 2010 at 11:11 am

You can tell Sarah never swallows…she has too many damn kids/retards….Bristol doesn't swallow well either

di_da_is_alpha October 27, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Hang in there, wimps. Maybe someday one of you wankers will grow a pair and make it with some biker chicks. I doubt it, though.

Ein_Rant October 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I think they would prefer biker chicks with dicks…

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2010 at 12:24 am

Projecting?

transfatz October 27, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Republicosis…give so that we might find a cure.

elfgoldsackring October 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Careful, Kevvie. At first you tell yourself you're just heading over to Wonkett to troll, and missing militia drill this one time won't hurt. Before you know it, you're offering blowjobs to complete strangers, just to score another hit of that sweet, sweet libtard juice.

GOPCrusher October 28, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Its what plants crave!

elfgoldsackring October 27, 2010 at 9:29 pm

If it's about teh librulz, why is this post illustrated with a teabagger?

Mindblank October 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

It's just that the Republicans are so clannish in an us-vs-them way. They only interbreed within their own clan, which explains all those Tea-tards.

slowhansolo October 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm

"Howard Johnson is right!!"

elpinche October 27, 2010 at 10:57 pm

Even animated Tamron Hall makes me tingle.

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2010 at 11:50 pm

I'm blown away by this news.

June_Cleaver2.0 October 28, 2010 at 12:12 am

Poopyhead.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 12:41 am

Hey, where IS that user-of-parrots idiot, anyway? I've gotta good joke for him. I hope he didn't have some kind of nervous breakdown, his next to last post was kinda disturbing. Even for a wankerette.

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2010 at 1:00 am

looks like *someone* forgot to take his/her meds today, eh? I recommend a visit to your physician ASAP for an 'adjustment', you'll feel better once the anti-psychotics have kicked in! (do retards like you actually have health insurance? I'm guessin' your pre-existing condition would automatically disqualify you!) also :)

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:10 am

LOOKOUT, JESUS !!!! A TRUCK !!! Why do folks have Dashboard Jesus facing the passengers and not watching the traffic?

And I think you need the meds, dummy. I have a very good memory and I know I haven't had any interaction with you. Not today, not ever. Well, till now. I did visit your profile this morning. Your parents must be proud (not really).

Do you know where the great parrot is at? No one will tell me.

HOFAH October 28, 2010 at 12:27 am

Oh Ken honey, us Wonkette white wimmens do much more than that when we see a picture of Barrry.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:28 am

Most of us white men do similar with a picture of Michelle, so it's fairly even.

lulzmonger October 28, 2010 at 3:55 am

UH OH.

I'm antisocial as hell – which does not prevent me from wanting what's best for people … as long as they stay the fuck off my lawn, that is.

So either I'm a mutant, or at some distant date in my past I was bitten by a radioactive hippie. Or both.

nachoproblem October 28, 2010 at 4:09 am

Feh. I'm about the most socially stunted, self-loathing, sex-starved sweaty basement maniac I know personally, and I still can't get into the idea that hating minorities equals freedom, or of blaming "socialism" for rich people ripping everybody off. I liked it better when being "liberal" had something to do with truth or justice, or whatever you call that thinky-stuff you do with your meaty skull-filling. Those were the fuckin' days, hannhh?

glamourdammerung October 28, 2010 at 8:07 am

I remember when thinking multiple guys assaulting a 110 pound woman was not appropriate did not get one labeled a "communist".

liujinri October 28, 2010 at 9:17 am

good news,there's new fashion items to tell you.

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mrbubb October 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

Explains the fundamental difference between Republicans and Democracians: Republicans push hot activist chicks to the ground and stomp on their heads; Democrats invite hot activist chicks into their liberal limousines and ply them with lattes, medical marijuana, and dirty sexy talk about "exit polling." I leave it to you to decide which Jesus would do.

largefooted October 28, 2010 at 10:58 am

According to Wikigenes this same gene leads to overeating in women with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Does this mean that if I want hot liberal threesomes, I need to find seasonally depressed overweight women?

hagajim October 28, 2010 at 11:11 am

If we were all liberulz then nothing would get done because we'd get stuck in the middle of one gangbang after another….messy

thefrontpage October 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Everyone knows that liberal elite white men make the best lovers.

awesome_dude October 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm

I love being a liberal. Shame is for the weak.

marinmaven October 28, 2010 at 4:27 pm

We also get hawt and bothered when someone whispers Bobby Kennedy quotes in our ears. Squeeeeee!

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 10:58 pm

How about that Ted Kennedy quote ………….
"Hope you can swim."

WorkTheSaxofone October 28, 2010 at 6:51 pm

This research explains Branson, MO. You can have a vacation there without the danger of seeing something you haven' t seen before.

labman57 October 28, 2010 at 11:37 pm

What this study calls the "liberal" gene is not really a revelation at all — we usually refer to it as having a "conscience".

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JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:14 am

Ignorance? You must have missed the creationist part; when someone is that far out in rejecting reality it's idiocy to listen to them.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:18 am

Some people call not subscribing to the craziest, most insane right wing theories "ignorance".

Others might call it "having some fucking sense".

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:23 am

What creationist part? There you go, making assumptions. Give the link where I (or Rant) said anything about being a creationist. There isn't one. If you look through my comments, you'll find where my beliefs lie.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:26 am

And that the links he provides may be to fellow crackpots; it's crazy, I know.

Maybe I should find more tolerance by the right-wing definition, which is treating their ideas as meritorious even if they've been objectively proven wrong, instead of the more normal way of by not prejudging people based on intrinsic characteristics.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:30 am

Yes, we'll all be going through your comments now.

Haha. Yes, I see it coming. A bleak future of life in the Alaskan Prison Camp For the Reducation of Liberals, being forced to read and memorize the collected internet comments of di_da_douchebag.

Oh, the horror.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:33 am

You must have missed Rant's very long pro-creationism post in the comment thread that's currently right above this one then; here's the link: http://wonkette.com/428187/scientists-discover-li

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:33 am

Oh, no. No re-education camps. Most of you will wise up on your own. The rest will just fade away into
irrelevance. ; )

GreasyRabbit75 October 28, 2010 at 1:51 am

Was that "re-education" or "reduction"? I'm with di_da on this one: No re-education camps. However, an Alaskan Prison Camp For the Reduction of Liberals? I can get down with that.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:35 am

The "fact" of when and how Henry Ford payed his employees is a "right wing theory" ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Man, you guys are too funny !!!!!

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:40 am

Even Stephen Hawking said in his first book that if a creator created the world to appear the way it does, there would be no way to prove otherwise. So we just study those things that we can. Hell, even Einstein believed in God. Did you look up deist yet?

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 1:47 am

I asked about 'specified complexity' and brought up the 'probability' of "chance" as an explanation. Learn how to read before you make me laugh… You got NOTHING!!! Loser… I would call you a p*ssy or a b*tch, but the administrator seems to discriminate against people of my flavor… Can't be the potty-mouth they seem to tolerate from you… Should I call Eric Holder? Oops, my bad… I'm white (and male!), no 'justice' from those quarters…

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 3:02 am

Yes, he requires real evidence. And no tricky dinosaur bones or anything either!

SayItWithWookies October 28, 2010 at 1:52 am

Now come on — his daddy would never be that mean to him. Probably.

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 1:53 am

So you just used creationist buzzwords they always use when they're JAQing (Just Asking Questions) off. That's not really a defense, fuckhead; and now you show you're also a racist as well as a misogynist, creationist, classist, objectivist, and hater of people who say fuck; which comes as no surprise.

Here's a newsflash for you: 2 plus 2 = 4. And no many how time you deny it, it will still be true.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:03 am

Your flavor? You mean that cocktail of stale pee, body odor, and Oreos you've got brewing there?

Maybe the admin should have just reached through the interwebs and handed you a bar of soap.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 3:00 am

You might be white, I'm not gonna debate that. But the male part is still really a question.

Just for the record, you will or will not eat a p*ssy (when it's clean)?

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 1:54 am

Then you just put on your mittens, and go up there and get started building it champ! You'll know you're there when you can see Russia.

I hope a polar bear rapes you.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 1:54 am

Once again you prove that you're ignorant. "Creationism" has a very distinct definition. And you fools are just as stubborn as they are, and your beliefs are just as disprovable. And your beliefs are at least as dangerous as theirs. More so, in my opinion.

GreasyRabbit75 October 28, 2010 at 1:58 am

Ooooh….someone is testy tonight. Is it that time of the month, champ?

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 2:02 am

And here I thought it seemed like "rejecting the proven reality of evolution" was not that distinct, just incredibly stupid. But yeah, my beliefs are dangerous; I also believe that the Earth goes around the Sun instead of the other way around, or as you'd call it "Galileonism".

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 2:05 am

I know what deism is, moron; and Einstein did not believe in god, but used the word as a metaphor, so there is another lie from you.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:06 am

Hey, but the guy WILL eat a p*ssy. If it's clean.

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 2:35 am

No response again… I had hopes that you MIGHT have a brain, but I was wrong… You can't even read… How sad…

Thanks for taking the bait btw, 2+2=4? Ayn Rand would be proud… Aristotle discovered reason and demonstrated it to the butt-fucker Greeks as A=A… Or… It is what it is, that is reality… You have no clue though D-Botboy… Sad… or as you might say :-( …

JMPEsq October 28, 2010 at 2:08 am

Hey now, don't insult us nerds by comparing us to this dumbass.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 2:13 am

Yes, the earth does go "around" (it actually "falls" toward the sun, if you understand how gravity warps time space) the sun. Did you look up "deist" yet?

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 2:16 am

Pathetic. I'll be back. Have a good night.

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 2:28 am

The "rank" shit you say here? Nah, too boring. Your fucking administrator prevents me from making your pinkness blush is all… I am EVIL,or so you 'believe'… Lose the wig there , faggot – be a man…

Oops, censored again!!!

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:28 am

You're right. Sorry.

In other news, someone just posted "Too bad Hitler didn't get them all" and "the queers should be kept in pens away from children" on Brietbart. So, do consider the company these motherfuckers keep.

That shit is going on in their house, but they are coming over here to argue about Henry Ford. Which, really, makes complete sense now that I think about it.
http://tv.breitbart.com/joy-behar-denounces-super
http://tv.breitbart.com/boston-media-plays-softba

(to brietbarts credit, the hitler comment got kicked, but still. It's a strange, strange place.)

Ein_Rant October 28, 2010 at 2:36 am

Slurp!

GaltFan October 28, 2010 at 2:48 am

Dude,

They read shit where androgynous teenagers lick "balls" from a pez machine as a phallic symbol and you expect them to understand the science behind the physics of orbital gravity? I realize you are one leg short of a quarterdeck, but really? You are too generous with these idiots… Drifting, falling… Heh-heh!…

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:50 am

Haha. you called me a faggot.

Don't worry about being censored, I think they'll keep this one for posterity.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:52 am

Somehow, I really, really doubt any human female would let you within a mile of her vagina.

Just saying.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 3:09 am

You mean if their skulls were any more dense they would exceed the Chandrasekhar limit and implode?

Don't tell me stellar evolution is out too. Whatever will I talk about? How about the simultaneous development of most small theropod dinosaurs and feathered flight?

I like how the robot (ESQ Hahaha) says he knows what deism is, then says that Einstein didn't believe in God (or god). Heheheh I was going to post some links tomorrow, but I don't know. These guys are thick (except for their skin). Maybe I'll post em anyway, for the casual observer. This site does get quite a few hits without a hell of a lot of comments.

Kevin Stowell October 28, 2010 at 12:49 pm

;o)

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 11:31 am

Jees, you're right. I knew just being here at wankette would cost me IQ points. The things I must endure for the benefit of mankind.

Kevin Stowell October 28, 2010 at 11:41 am

You're approaching canonization, di_da.

imissopus October 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

It's a particularly juvenile strain, this current infestation.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm

The Lord is merciful but I’m not too sure he likes to be tempted. Get where I’m coming from?

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 2:36 pm

As far as I know, you came from the BrietBart family of websites, where people say such things as "too bad Hitler didn't get them all."

Maybe think about cleaning your own house before you come and criticize.

Or you making some kind of physical threats over the intertubes, in which case…hahaha, you fucking douchebag.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Wow, perhaps you could provide proof of that statement? You can be sure that if a statement like that was made there it would have been quickly admonished.

You see, there is a huge difference in our ideologies to be sure. There are a couple of absolutes in the conservative camp.
Racism is not tolerated in any form. I know this is hard for you to believe but I challenge you to look beyond the common talking points of the left and actually pay attention.
Another absolute is this. We believe the Constitution has served us well over the last 200 plus years. Certainly as a country we have some warts but we have managed to overcome many and will overcome more in the future.
One more but not the last. We conservatives understand that perfection is not achieved through the destruction of things that function and serve well. It would be more appropriate to tweak those things that work in an effort to become more efficient.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Perhaps you may also note that I never make threats. That is also absolute. You seem to be confused. Maybe you could do some personal reflection away from these types of sites.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm

I made a comment, somewhere down to one of your friends, with two links – one to the Hilter comment (a story on Joy Behar, which was deleted by the breitbot admins – which I gave them credit for) and the other to another comment which was "all the queers should be kept in pens away from children". The later was not deleted. But that's just two.

Racism is absolutely tolerated on the right. To your credit, you've not engaged in it yourself – but it is part and parcel of the base of right wing philosophy. Your leaders engage in in only subtly, but it is there. But within the base, it is commonly engaged in. It is one of the key motivating issues for a big part of the right. Maybe not for you, but for a big part.

I agree with you about the constitution, for the most part. I think what you miss is that over the last 30 years, more and more power has gone to the rich, and to the corporations. This country has never been more like you all would like it to be in terms of taxes, regulations, and an aggressive foreign policy as it has been in the last 10 years. And this country has never been in more precarious shape since the 1920's, at home, or abroad.

And when Obama passes a bill like financial regulations (which was so watered down as to be almost meaningless), you all freak out and cry "communism". You couldn't be more off. This country has never been more like Ayn Rand would want it, and it still is not enough for you all. Your trying to fix a broken arm with a bullet to the head. It isn't going to work.

You all have been whipped into a frenzy by your leaders for the sole purpose of delivering the same republican standard bearers back into office. The tea party is a ruse to make you all think something new is happening, but it is just a tool to co opt you into bringing the rich, corporate, bankers and republicans back into power.

I feel for you guys, I think politics is elitist too, I think the government has lost all touch with the people as well. I don't hate Obama, but I don't think he is a man of the people either. But you all are blindly diving full force into something that is going to fuck yourselves over in the end (more power for corporations, more power for the elite). That's the way I see it.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Is this like, "its not a threat it's a promise" kind of thing? Because that's not making me think any better of you.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Thanks for your honesty there. I do disagree and to that it likely will remain.
I did come in here with a caustic vent but it was to gather attention. I have to disagree with the racism charges of the right. There are extremists on both sides of this, one that hates and one that uses. The truth is I poked you specifically. You may think about it over time and perhaps figure out why. The generality “you all have been whipped into a frenzy by your leaders” is incorrect as it could be then true for you as well.
Corporations are not evil. People are evil. The government is made up of people and that is why we must be exceedingly careful in who we commission to run our affairs.

Patriot2Opine October 28, 2010 at 4:39 pm

No again you are making assumptions. I do not make threats veiled or otherwise.

kenlayisalive October 28, 2010 at 6:06 pm

I'm not worried about the combativeness and insults. That's all in good fun. But this is the meat of what we disagree about, and this is even better.

Here is all I'll say about what you have said, and I think the following is key to the whole essence of why, in questions of private versus public power, I tend to the side of the public.

I couldn't agree more that we have to be exceedingly careful about who we elect to government. But at least we have that ability to choose our government. Though actually letting the people choose the leaders is getting more difficult because of judgements like Citizens United (money mattering more than popular power), we do get to elect these people. And the barriers to entry are pretty low (Look at Christine O'Donnell – oh I kid you). But really the people can express their voice through government. Almost anyone can run with some signatures, and though money is becoming more and more important, it still is possible to get to a point of great power and influence for a relatively small amount of money.

And that is the exact opposite from a corporation. The People have no say there. If a "public" corp, only some shareholders (people also) have a say. If private, then just the board (also people, also potentially evil) directs decision making. And though that type of hierarchical decision making does not make them intrinsically evil, when they start to take on the massive power they do in this country, and yet remain totally unresponsive to the people, that is wrong. And when they finally reach the level of power where no one can stand up to them – when even the people, using their voice as expressed through a representative government cannot match their power – then what do you have? People with massive, unaccountable power – they will be nothing more than tyrants. And that is evil. And I think you'd agree.

That's the final difference. Government is what it is – a sloppy, ugly, corrupt mess – but malleable, changeable, responsive. But corporations are secretive, private, tyrannies. And I'm not talking little mom and pop farmer here. I'm talking big monopoly multinational corporations and cartels.

So that's where I think the tea party is wrong. When they seek to shrink the government, you are shrinking the voice of the people. You are shrinking the possibilities of what we can do together as a nation. And I don't hear BrietBart screaming about Citizens United destroying the very essence of our country, I hear him complain about "welfare queens" and "the gay agenda". Or Glenn Beck with an imaginary socialist under every bed. It's smoke and mirrors, sir! The main purpose is to try to make people who should be concerned about what is happening to our democracy more interested in what is happening in peoples bedrooms and pocketbooks.

Anyway, we may not agree, but there is my argument, for what it is worth.

di_da_is_alpha October 28, 2010 at 11:19 pm

/// "They read shit where androgynous teenagers lick "balls" from a pez machine as a phallic symbol and you expect them to understand the science behind the physics of orbital gravity?" ///

/// "Yes I am a liberal, okay where do I get the oral?" //

/// ""Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health" is the surest way to get laid." //

Need I go on?

Yeah, you clowns are just dripping with maturity. Well, you're dripping with something, anyway.

Patriot2Opine November 1, 2010 at 9:51 am

One can never give the government the power, it has to remain with the people. If we kid ourselves into believing they are our voice and not our employees then we go the way of so many in history have gone. We open the doors for dictators and killers like Mao, Stalin, Gueverra/Castro, Hitler and the list goes on. We the People are the government and if give it up, I fear what will come. As I said people are evil.

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