new study proves it

Scientists Discover Sexy ‘Liberal Gene’

Sexytime.What makes people “liberal,” anyway? According to liberal university research scientists at liberal universities somewhere, being liberal means that you are an awesome person with many sexy friends. This is why you are so cool! Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college, which is proof of the “novelty gene.”

According to this paper in the Cambridge Journal of Politics, the special “friendy gene” makes you seek novelty (threesomes) and as a result, you meet many different kinds of people, and do not hate them just because they might have more or less money or education or white pigment than you do:

Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, we test this hypothesis by investigating an association between self-reported political ideology and the 7R variant of the dopamine receptor D4 gene (DRD4), which has previously been associated with novelty seeking. Among those with DRD4-7R, we find that the number of friendships a person has in adolescence is significantly associated with liberal political ideology.

This is why when Wonkette commenters who are also white gals see a picture of Barack Obama, they do not think, “Oh jesus christ get in the car it’s a negro.” Instead, they have to sit on a towel. [Cambridge Journal of Politics]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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204 comments

    1. SimonGirty

      It simply means that the 'bagger fellers can only consummate coitus with actual GIRLS, by executing first her extended family, then calling in the Apaches to clean up with miniguns? Then accusing people with the DRD4-7R gene of treason, once their snuff .avi videos are leaked onto YouTube?

      1. Crank_Tango

        oh my, you may have a point there. I guess I can pick up some anus warps at mcdonalds. or it might have been angus wraps, but whatever…

  1. Badonkadonkette

    Once they isolate the furry gene, they'll be able to explain what makes people Republican.

  2. natoslug

    I'm so confused. Does this mean there are people out there who DON'T seek out threesomes and groups? I thought that was a human thing, not a liberal thing.

  3. Terry

    " Instead, they have to sit on a towel."

    The socially acceptable way of saying this is to say the women go "squeeeeeeeeeee!"

    1. V572625694

      Not sure that social acceptability is one of the stated goals of this blog. In fact, saying socially unacceptable things here is a healthy outlet, unless you're the kind of obsessive who's commenting here at all times of the day or night. Like us.

  4. Lucidamente1

    "Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health" is the surest way to get laid.

    1. kenlayisalive

      Well, that behavior is due to the "LC-TH69" gene. Otherwise known as the "Larry Craig – Ted Haggard Sixty-Nining" gene. (okay, sorry, I just puked in my own mouth).

      Also causes a crippling disease which doesn't allow Republicans to be able to carry their own luggage on island getaways.

  5. kenlayisalive

    See, this makes sense why Republicans seem like pent-up sex-starved maniacs. They can't get close enough to another person to fuck them.

    But what it doesn't explain why they're against masturbating. I mean, you don't even need a friend for that.

    1. JMPEsq

      But they do apparently love circle jerks, to the point of pretending the world's least funny jokes are hilarious.

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        Hey dumbass, why did you lie about Henry Ford giving his employees good wages and benefits BEFORE unionization? Read the link Rant left for you. Or don't and stay ignorant, but don't lie about that of which you don't know. It makes your side look even further out of touch with reality than you already are.

        1. JMPEsq

          Uh, Rant's admitted to a) taking Ayn Rand seriously, and b) being a fucking creationist, so I know I'm safe in ignoring any link the moron sends to defend a Nazi sympathizer.

          1. JMPEsq

            Ignorance? You must have missed the creationist part; when someone is that far out in rejecting reality it's idiocy to listen to them.

          2. di_da_is_alpha

            What creationist part? There you go, making assumptions. Give the link where I (or Rant) said anything about being a creationist. There isn't one. If you look through my comments, you'll find where my beliefs lie.

          3. kenlayisalive

            Yes, we'll all be going through your comments now.

            Haha. Yes, I see it coming. A bleak future of life in the Alaskan Prison Camp For the Reducation of Liberals, being forced to read and memorize the collected internet comments of di_da_douchebag.

            Oh, the horror.

          4. di_da_is_alpha

            Oh, no. No re-education camps. Most of you will wise up on your own. The rest will just fade away into
            irrelevance. ; )

          5. GreasyRabbit75

            Was that "re-education" or "reduction"? I'm with di_da on this one: No re-education camps. However, an Alaskan Prison Camp For the Reduction of Liberals? I can get down with that.

          6. kenlayisalive

            Then you just put on your mittens, and go up there and get started building it champ! You'll know you're there when you can see Russia.

            I hope a polar bear rapes you.

          7. di_da_is_alpha

            Once again you prove that you're ignorant. "Creationism" has a very distinct definition. And you fools are just as stubborn as they are, and your beliefs are just as disprovable. And your beliefs are at least as dangerous as theirs. More so, in my opinion.

          8. JMPEsq

            And here I thought it seemed like "rejecting the proven reality of evolution" was not that distinct, just incredibly stupid. But yeah, my beliefs are dangerous; I also believe that the Earth goes around the Sun instead of the other way around, or as you'd call it "Galileonism".

          9. di_da_is_alpha

            Yes, the earth does go "around" (it actually "falls" toward the sun, if you understand how gravity warps time space) the sun. Did you look up "deist" yet?

          10. GaltFan

            Dude,

            They read shit where androgynous teenagers lick "balls" from a pez machine as a phallic symbol and you expect them to understand the science behind the physics of orbital gravity? I realize you are one leg short of a quarterdeck, but really? You are too generous with these idiots… Drifting, falling… Heh-heh!…

          11. di_da_is_alpha

            You mean if their skulls were any more dense they would exceed the Chandrasekhar limit and implode?

            Don't tell me stellar evolution is out too. Whatever will I talk about? How about the simultaneous development of most small theropod dinosaurs and feathered flight?

            I like how the robot (ESQ Hahaha) says he knows what deism is, then says that Einstein didn't believe in God (or god). Heheheh I was going to post some links tomorrow, but I don't know. These guys are thick (except for their skin). Maybe I'll post em anyway, for the casual observer. This site does get quite a few hits without a hell of a lot of comments.

          12. kenlayisalive

            Some people call not subscribing to the craziest, most insane right wing theories "ignorance".

            Others might call it "having some fucking sense".

          13. di_da_is_alpha

            The "fact" of when and how Henry Ford payed his employees is a "right wing theory" ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

            Man, you guys are too funny !!!!!

          14. kenlayisalive

            Are you trying to say that a Nazi-sympathing douche who confuses pulp right-wing literature with philosophy AND believes that dinosaurs are a trick may not be a reliable source on other topics?

            Come on JMP, where is your tolerance?

          15. JMPEsq

            And that the links he provides may be to fellow crackpots; it's crazy, I know.

            Maybe I should find more tolerance by the right-wing definition, which is treating their ideas as meritorious even if they've been objectively proven wrong, instead of the more normal way of by not prejudging people based on intrinsic characteristics.

          16. di_da_is_alpha

            Even Stephen Hawking said in his first book that if a creator created the world to appear the way it does, there would be no way to prove otherwise. So we just study those things that we can. Hell, even Einstein believed in God. Did you look up deist yet?

          17. JMPEsq

            I know what deism is, moron; and Einstein did not believe in god, but used the word as a metaphor, so there is another lie from you.

      2. kenlayisalive

        Well, we do know that watching animals hump things is a favorite pastime of New York Republicans like Carl Paladino, so maybe the fad is catching on even among these rubes.

        1. GodHelpUsAll912

          " Well, we do know that watching animals hump things is a favorite pasttime"

          We figured that's your talent just by this filthy blog.

        2. Patriot2Opine

          Hey there Kenny. If you read the article entirely you will see that the only place they could find that gene was in fecal scrapings. So of course that begs another question. Could it have been something you ate? Much like a dog eating turds, who really knows what could turd up?

          1. Patriot2Opine

            The Lord is merciful but I’m not too sure he likes to be tempted. Get where I’m coming from?

          2. kenlayisalive

            As far as I know, you came from the BrietBart family of websites, where people say such things as "too bad Hitler didn't get them all."

            Maybe think about cleaning your own house before you come and criticize.

            Or you making some kind of physical threats over the intertubes, in which case…hahaha, you fucking douchebag.

          3. Patriot2Opine

            Wow, perhaps you could provide proof of that statement? You can be sure that if a statement like that was made there it would have been quickly admonished.

            You see, there is a huge difference in our ideologies to be sure. There are a couple of absolutes in the conservative camp.
            Racism is not tolerated in any form. I know this is hard for you to believe but I challenge you to look beyond the common talking points of the left and actually pay attention.
            Another absolute is this. We believe the Constitution has served us well over the last 200 plus years. Certainly as a country we have some warts but we have managed to overcome many and will overcome more in the future.
            One more but not the last. We conservatives understand that perfection is not achieved through the destruction of things that function and serve well. It would be more appropriate to tweak those things that work in an effort to become more efficient.

          4. kenlayisalive

            I made a comment, somewhere down to one of your friends, with two links – one to the Hilter comment (a story on Joy Behar, which was deleted by the breitbot admins – which I gave them credit for) and the other to another comment which was "all the queers should be kept in pens away from children". The later was not deleted. But that's just two.

            Racism is absolutely tolerated on the right. To your credit, you've not engaged in it yourself – but it is part and parcel of the base of right wing philosophy. Your leaders engage in in only subtly, but it is there. But within the base, it is commonly engaged in. It is one of the key motivating issues for a big part of the right. Maybe not for you, but for a big part.

            I agree with you about the constitution, for the most part. I think what you miss is that over the last 30 years, more and more power has gone to the rich, and to the corporations. This country has never been more like you all would like it to be in terms of taxes, regulations, and an aggressive foreign policy as it has been in the last 10 years. And this country has never been in more precarious shape since the 1920's, at home, or abroad.

            And when Obama passes a bill like financial regulations (which was so watered down as to be almost meaningless), you all freak out and cry "communism". You couldn't be more off. This country has never been more like Ayn Rand would want it, and it still is not enough for you all. Your trying to fix a broken arm with a bullet to the head. It isn't going to work.

            You all have been whipped into a frenzy by your leaders for the sole purpose of delivering the same republican standard bearers back into office. The tea party is a ruse to make you all think something new is happening, but it is just a tool to co opt you into bringing the rich, corporate, bankers and republicans back into power.

            I feel for you guys, I think politics is elitist too, I think the government has lost all touch with the people as well. I don't hate Obama, but I don't think he is a man of the people either. But you all are blindly diving full force into something that is going to fuck yourselves over in the end (more power for corporations, more power for the elite). That's the way I see it.

          5. Patriot2Opine

            Thanks for your honesty there. I do disagree and to that it likely will remain.
            I did come in here with a caustic vent but it was to gather attention. I have to disagree with the racism charges of the right. There are extremists on both sides of this, one that hates and one that uses. The truth is I poked you specifically. You may think about it over time and perhaps figure out why. The generality “you all have been whipped into a frenzy by your leaders” is incorrect as it could be then true for you as well.
            Corporations are not evil. People are evil. The government is made up of people and that is why we must be exceedingly careful in who we commission to run our affairs.

          6. kenlayisalive

            I'm not worried about the combativeness and insults. That's all in good fun. But this is the meat of what we disagree about, and this is even better.

            Here is all I'll say about what you have said, and I think the following is key to the whole essence of why, in questions of private versus public power, I tend to the side of the public.

            I couldn't agree more that we have to be exceedingly careful about who we elect to government. But at least we have that ability to choose our government. Though actually letting the people choose the leaders is getting more difficult because of judgements like Citizens United (money mattering more than popular power), we do get to elect these people. And the barriers to entry are pretty low (Look at Christine O'Donnell – oh I kid you). But really the people can express their voice through government. Almost anyone can run with some signatures, and though money is becoming more and more important, it still is possible to get to a point of great power and influence for a relatively small amount of money.

            And that is the exact opposite from a corporation. The People have no say there. If a "public" corp, only some shareholders (people also) have a say. If private, then just the board (also people, also potentially evil) directs decision making. And though that type of hierarchical decision making does not make them intrinsically evil, when they start to take on the massive power they do in this country, and yet remain totally unresponsive to the people, that is wrong. And when they finally reach the level of power where no one can stand up to them – when even the people, using their voice as expressed through a representative government cannot match their power – then what do you have? People with massive, unaccountable power – they will be nothing more than tyrants. And that is evil. And I think you'd agree.

            That's the final difference. Government is what it is – a sloppy, ugly, corrupt mess – but malleable, changeable, responsive. But corporations are secretive, private, tyrannies. And I'm not talking little mom and pop farmer here. I'm talking big monopoly multinational corporations and cartels.

            So that's where I think the tea party is wrong. When they seek to shrink the government, you are shrinking the voice of the people. You are shrinking the possibilities of what we can do together as a nation. And I don't hear BrietBart screaming about Citizens United destroying the very essence of our country, I hear him complain about "welfare queens" and "the gay agenda". Or Glenn Beck with an imaginary socialist under every bed. It's smoke and mirrors, sir! The main purpose is to try to make people who should be concerned about what is happening to our democracy more interested in what is happening in peoples bedrooms and pocketbooks.

            Anyway, we may not agree, but there is my argument, for what it is worth.

          7. Patriot2Opine

            One can never give the government the power, it has to remain with the people. If we kid ourselves into believing they are our voice and not our employees then we go the way of so many in history have gone. We open the doors for dictators and killers like Mao, Stalin, Gueverra/Castro, Hitler and the list goes on. We the People are the government and if give it up, I fear what will come. As I said people are evil.

          8. Patriot2Opine

            Perhaps you may also note that I never make threats. That is also absolute. You seem to be confused. Maybe you could do some personal reflection away from these types of sites.

          9. kenlayisalive

            Is this like, "its not a threat it's a promise" kind of thing? Because that's not making me think any better of you.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    I think most people seek pleasure — the real genetic difference is that some seek pleasure, and others seek pleasure after a full day of railing against it to their wives, coworkers and constituents.

      1. Kevin Stowell

        Like socialist slackers using the force of government to demand that the producers take care of them? Got it. Got industry?

        1. SayItWithWookies

          Exactly. Because as a loyal capitalist I believe it's my civic duty to be as self-interested as possible — even to such extremes as demanding my employer pay me a living wage, reasonable leave, health insurance and acceptable working conditions because that's what my labor is worth. Or are you just one of those free-market hypocrites who believe only the capitalists should be free to be self-interested? Because if you're only expecting half the free-market system to act like the free market system you've got a bit of myopia going on.

          1. kenlayisalive

            Yeah, I can see the "Got Industry?" ad with Kevin now. It's a photo of him right after the boss has given him a Dirty Sanchez.

  7. metamarcisf

    When asked by Rachel Maddow whether being liberal was a choice, Joe Miller responded that "it really is a state issue". After Maddow asked him to clarify, Miller said, "I think that's up to the individual".

    Maddow: "Do you think there should be a constitutional amendment banning liberals?"

    Miller: "I would vote for it. But it would require an amendment to the constitution."

  8. PalinPussyPower

    I immediately call for an end to federal funding of these clearly biased studies. Shouldn't our tax dollars be spent on something that will produce more useful results, like Abstinence-Only Education or Intelligent Design? Also too? Who cares that a bunch of liberal heathens are screwing eachother's every orifice? You needed some university professor to tell ya that, Joe? I coulda toldja that without no fancy research grant, such as.

    1. Ein_Rant

      Tell me Pussy, what books have you read that honestly deal with the theory of Intelligent Design? Do you reject the fact that specified complexity has trillions of examples as having come from an a source of intelligence, and not one single instance can be demonstrated definitively as having occurred by random chance? Did your kool-aid guzzling, Darwin worshiping teachers ever bother to tell you that evolution cannot occur until there is something there to evolve? Did they kind of skip over the inconvenient fact that Darwin's theory fails to explain the origin of life? Cambridge educated scientists with PhDs have calculated that if each atom in the universe represented a "chance" for all of the necessary preconditions for the formation of amino acids, RNA and DNA and that it would survive long enough to replicate itself is significantly less than 1… But you knew that, and hence we are just some damned lucky son's of bitches, ain't we now? Sure…

    2. di_da_is_alpha

      "PalinPussyPower"? You weenies jealous? I mean, you don't see any small government types with the handle " PelosiPussyPower". Holy mackerel, that turned my stomach just typing it.

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        yes well I'm guessin' stomach turnin' is a specialty of yours based on the fuckin' moronic staements you've made 'round these parts (and I'd bet BIG money that 'pussy' ain't even on your list of preferred genitalia! )moron…also :)

    3. Ein_Rant

      Second attempt (Thanks, Admin…)

      Tell me P*ssy, what books have you read that honestly deal with the theory of Intelligent Design? Do you reject the fact that specified complexity has trillions of examples as having come from a source of intelligence, and not one single instance can be demonstrated definitively as having occurred by random chance? Did your kool-aid guzzling, Darwin worshiping teachers ever bother to tell you that evolution cannot occur until there is something there to evolve? Did they kind of skip over the inconvenient fact that Darwin's theory fails to explain the origin of life? Cambridge educated scientists with PhDs have calculated that if each atom in the universe represented a "chance" for all of the necessary preconditions for the formation of amino acids, RNA and DNA and that it would survive long enough to replicate itself is significantly less than 1… But you knew that, and hence we are just some damned lucky son's of b*tches, ain't we now? Sure…

      1. PalinPussyPower

        I'm sorry. I stopped reading as soon as I saw that you had to sanitize the word "pussy". Maybe next time, champ.

        1. JMPEsq

          He doesn't want people to think he's supporting the kool-aid scientists' theory of sexual reproduction, rejecting the fact of the stork.

        2. Ein_Rant

          Sorry 'babe', but Admin flushed that… I have no problem typing or eating pussy when it is clean… Perhaps Admin didn't like b*tches? Difficult to discern, as my primary account can post 1,200 words of any flavor I choose… An ID thing, not me… Pussy… Read it and weep pea brain, you have no answers for the non-Christian, non-Jew, non-conservative and non-Atheist independent thinker that I am… Sorry, chump…

        3. Ein_Rant

          Admin says no again? What is it with this site? Sanitized 'cause the 'chaperon' thinks you drivel-headed teen-types can't handle me…

          Sorry 'babe', but Admin flushed that… I have no problem typing or eating p*ssy when it is clean… Perhaps Admin didn't like b*tches? Difficult to discern, as my primary account can post 1,200 words of any flavor I choose… An ID thing, not me… P*ssy… Read it and weep pea brain, you have no answers for the non-Christian, non-Jew, non-conservative and non-Atheist independent thinker that I am… Sorry, chump…

          1. kenlayisalive

            Hahahaaaa… oh man. No WAY you could come close to rank the shit we say on here. Don't worry weirdo, you weren't censored.

            You just don't have it in you to get really rank I'm thinking. Also, giving your blow up doll a bleach rubdown still doesn't make that "eating a clean pussy".

          2. Ein_Rant

            The "rank" shit you say here? Nah, too boring. Your fucking administrator prevents me from making your pinkness blush is all… I am EVIL,or so you 'believe'… Lose the wig there , faggot – be a man…

            Oops, censored again!!!

          3. kenlayisalive

            Haha. you called me a faggot.

            Don't worry about being censored, I think they'll keep this one for posterity.

      2. JMPEsq

        Oh god, here you proved you were an idiot by defending fucking Ayn Rand, but now you double down on creationism! So you believe the Earth is flat. Well, thank you for proving that nothing you say can be taken seriously!

        God, creationists really do exist; it's hard to believe people can actually be that dumb, but here one is.

        1. di_da_is_alpha

          Oh, jesus, you're an idiot. Do you know what a deist is? Look it up you blithering fool. And don't bother answering my last post to you, now I have the answer. Idiot.

        2. Ein_Rant

          I never defended "F*cking Ayn Rand". She was almost as ugly as a Leftard/Progturd… I don't "believe" anything – I require evidence… Real evidence, and good argument… Apparently you didn't read my post, as I see ZERO in the way of refutation of my factual assertions. Will you ever tire of being a spoon-fed loser? Try again, turd…

          1. Ein_Rant

            I asked about 'specified complexity' and brought up the 'probability' of "chance" as an explanation. Learn how to read before you make me laugh… You got NOTHING!!! Loser… I would call you a p*ssy or a b*tch, but the administrator seems to discriminate against people of my flavor… Can't be the potty-mouth they seem to tolerate from you… Should I call Eric Holder? Oops, my bad… I'm white (and male!), no 'justice' from those quarters…

          2. JMPEsq

            So you just used creationist buzzwords they always use when they're JAQing (Just Asking Questions) off. That's not really a defense, fuckhead; and now you show you're also a racist as well as a misogynist, creationist, classist, objectivist, and hater of people who say fuck; which comes as no surprise.

            Here's a newsflash for you: 2 plus 2 = 4. And no many how time you deny it, it will still be true.

          3. kenlayisalive

            Somehow, I really, really doubt any human female would let you within a mile of her vagina.

            Just saying.

          4. Ein_Rant

            No response again… I had hopes that you MIGHT have a brain, but I was wrong… You can't even read… How sad…

            Thanks for taking the bait btw, 2+2=4? Ayn Rand would be proud… Aristotle discovered reason and demonstrated it to the butt-fucker Greeks as A=A… Or… It is what it is, that is reality… You have no clue though D-Botboy… Sad… or as you might say :-( …

          5. kenlayisalive

            Your flavor? You mean that cocktail of stale pee, body odor, and Oreos you've got brewing there?

            Maybe the admin should have just reached through the interwebs and handed you a bar of soap.

          6. kenlayisalive

            You might be white, I'm not gonna debate that. But the male part is still really a question.

            Just for the record, you will or will not eat a p*ssy (when it's clean)?

          7. kenlayisalive

            Look, no one who has seen her photo would defend fucking Ayn Rand, but, just for the record, would you or would you not eat her pussy (if it was clean)?

            America needs to know.

          1. kenlayisalive

            Spoken like a true nerd.

            Actually though, I know two rapping clowns who desperately need to hear what you just said.

          2. kenlayisalive

            You're right. Sorry.

            In other news, someone just posted "Too bad Hitler didn't get them all" and "the queers should be kept in pens away from children" on Brietbart. So, do consider the company these motherfuckers keep.

            That shit is going on in their house, but they are coming over here to argue about Henry Ford. Which, really, makes complete sense now that I think about it.
            http://tv.breitbart.com/joy-behar-denounces-super
            http://tv.breitbart.com/boston-media-plays-softba

            (to brietbarts credit, the hitler comment got kicked, but still. It's a strange, strange place.)

      3. marinmaven

        Read Kitzmiller v. Dover which was decided by a consevative republican appointed by George W. Bush. He found among other things that, "The overwhelming evidence at trial established that ID is a religious view, a mere re-labeling of creationism, and not a scientific theory." Furthermore, Judge Jones opined, "ID is not science. We find that ID fails on three different levels, any one of which is sufficient to preclude a determination that ID is science. They are: (1) ID violates the centuries-old ground rules of science by invoking and permitting supernatural causation; (2) the argument of irreducible complexity, central to ID, employs the same flawed and illogical contrived dualism that doomed creation science in the 1980s; and (3) ID's negative attacks on evolution have been refuted by the scientific community."

        Sorry, you fail. Game Over, dude. Thanks for playing.

  9. gurukalehuru

    No snark here, this is just bloody obvious. If you use terms like "acceptable collateral damage" or "you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs" or "torture isn't really all that bad," it's pretty clear that you don't like other people very much.

      1. Numbat_Dundee

        Those who preserve their bodily fluids become bloated bags of bodily fluid – humungous containers of unused semen and/or vaginal juices that make a squelching noise if you touch them.

  10. EdFlintstone

    Does this mean people living in their bunkers, planting "survival gardens" and ordering Glenn Beck's freeze dried foods aren't well rounded, nice people?

    1. LionelHutzEsq

      That just because you are a pill-popping, boy-loving, beard-marrying sex machine, that doesn't mean you are liberal?

  11. LionelHutzEsq

    Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college . . .

    Does it matter if your friends were passed out at the time? Because, based upon stories here on Wonkette, many Young Republicans are also liberals then.

  12. LionelHutzEsq

    And how does any of this explain David Vitter or Christine O'Donnell? Is there a gene for diaper wearing or pudding cup beard loving?

    1. Sparky_McGruff

      Sure, I study dopamine receptors (among other things). But I'll I'm saying is that you couldn't pay me enough to study Vitter or O'Donnell. I'm pretty sure that they'd clog the thermocycler, and leave stinky brown stains on the gel.

  13. neiltheblaze

    So all this time I haven't been a licentious, pleasure seeking, sensualist perv, but merely exercising my "novelty gene". Sweet!

  14. zhubajie

    Experience of being cheated and mistreated, used and abused, by conservacrooks has something to do with it, too.

  15. iburl

    If I unnerstand correctly, we can cure the teabaggers of their hate and stupidity by simply removing their mouse-human hybrid brainses and replacing them with this here R2D2 shit. Maybe president VanJones could Apollo-style this shit.

  16. zhubajie

    Some unfortunates are born into Republican families and are raised as Republicans, whether it is really their personality or not. Like being a cradle catholic but worse.

    1. elfgoldsackring

      Awww… Maybe in you it takes the form of finding novel things to do to your enemies? That can be fun too…

    2. HistoriCat

      Right there with you Missyb. I feel so cheated. Am I a fraud? If I don't have many friends, maybe I'm not really a liberal.

  17. Not_So_Much

    Somebody owes me some fucking threesomes around here!

    (and I'd prefer they not be the involuntary, prison kind)

  18. loquacioustunes

    Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health,

    Adolescent health? This must have been a Republican-funded study.

  19. Monsieur_Grumpe

    YOU MEAN I WAS BORN THIS WAY????!!!!!!
    *Monsieur Grumpe runs down the hall screaming and cursing his mother and father*

  20. Pragmatist2

    Oh, man, I think I missed out on something.
    I must have been stoned when they had the class that explained this.

  21. Gleem_McShineys

    So we're waiting on data from the National Latitudinal Study of Elderly Health to find out why Republicans only want to fuck everyone through wars and scams?

  22. John_Lemon

    So, the Rally to Restore Sanity should be a cumfest, right?

    Reminder to self: Don't forget your towel..a man knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

  23. PublicLuxury

    Is there are line for the oral? It's probably the long one, just like at the DMV. EVERYBODY will want to be in the good line. Those that risk expediency and join the short line find others with sticks up their asses too. Also. And they tend to choose riding the 'short bus' to and from school, too. Also.

  24. PublicLuxury

    Does this mean that Sarah and Todd have never had any felating fun? A couple of those kids should've been blow jobs. Too. Also. you betcha.

    1. imissopus

      How awesome would it be to tell your kids that when they piss you off? "If it was up to me you'd have just been a pearl necklace your mom wiped off with a Kleenex but nooooooooo, she wanted to make love…

    2. hagajim

      You can tell Sarah never swallows…she has too many damn kids/retards….Bristol doesn't swallow well either

  25. di_da_is_alpha

    Hang in there, wimps. Maybe someday one of you wankers will grow a pair and make it with some biker chicks. I doubt it, though.

  26. elfgoldsackring

    Careful, Kevvie. At first you tell yourself you're just heading over to Wonkett to troll, and missing militia drill this one time won't hurt. Before you know it, you're offering blowjobs to complete strangers, just to score another hit of that sweet, sweet libtard juice.

  27. Mindblank

    It's just that the Republicans are so clannish in an us-vs-them way. They only interbreed within their own clan, which explains all those Tea-tards.

    1. di_da_is_alpha

      Hey, where IS that user-of-parrots idiot, anyway? I've gotta good joke for him. I hope he didn't have some kind of nervous breakdown, his next to last post was kinda disturbing. Even for a wankerette.

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        looks like *someone* forgot to take his/her meds today, eh? I recommend a visit to your physician ASAP for an 'adjustment', you'll feel better once the anti-psychotics have kicked in! (do retards like you actually have health insurance? I'm guessin' your pre-existing condition would automatically disqualify you!) also :)

        1. di_da_is_alpha

          LOOKOUT, JESUS !!!! A TRUCK !!! Why do folks have Dashboard Jesus facing the passengers and not watching the traffic?

          And I think you need the meds, dummy. I have a very good memory and I know I haven't had any interaction with you. Not today, not ever. Well, till now. I did visit your profile this morning. Your parents must be proud (not really).

          Do you know where the great parrot is at? No one will tell me.

  28. lulzmonger

    UH OH.

    I'm antisocial as hell – which does not prevent me from wanting what's best for people … as long as they stay the fuck off my lawn, that is.

    So either I'm a mutant, or at some distant date in my past I was bitten by a radioactive hippie. Or both.

  29. nachoproblem

    Feh. I'm about the most socially stunted, self-loathing, sex-starved sweaty basement maniac I know personally, and I still can't get into the idea that hating minorities equals freedom, or of blaming "socialism" for rich people ripping everybody off. I liked it better when being "liberal" had something to do with truth or justice, or whatever you call that thinky-stuff you do with your meaty skull-filling. Those were the fuckin' days, hannhh?

    1. glamourdammerung

      I remember when thinking multiple guys assaulting a 110 pound woman was not appropriate did not get one labeled a "communist".

  30. mrbubb

    Explains the fundamental difference between Republicans and Democracians: Republicans push hot activist chicks to the ground and stomp on their heads; Democrats invite hot activist chicks into their liberal limousines and ply them with lattes, medical marijuana, and dirty sexy talk about "exit polling." I leave it to you to decide which Jesus would do.

  31. largefooted

    According to Wikigenes this same gene leads to overeating in women with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

    Does this mean that if I want hot liberal threesomes, I need to find seasonally depressed overweight women?

  32. hagajim

    If we were all liberulz then nothing would get done because we'd get stuck in the middle of one gangbang after another….messy

  33. WorkTheSaxofone

    This research explains Branson, MO. You can have a vacation there without the danger of seeing something you haven' t seen before.

  34. labman57

    What this study calls the "liberal" gene is not really a revelation at all — we usually refer to it as having a "conscience".

  35. di_da_is_alpha

    Jees, you're right. I knew just being here at wankette would cost me IQ points. The things I must endure for the benefit of mankind.

  36. di_da_is_alpha

    /// "They read shit where androgynous teenagers lick "balls" from a pez machine as a phallic symbol and you expect them to understand the science behind the physics of orbital gravity?" ///

    /// "Yes I am a liberal, okay where do I get the oral?" //

    /// ""Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health" is the surest way to get laid." //

    Need I go on?

    Yeah, you clowns are just dripping with maturity. Well, you're dripping with something, anyway.

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