• May 26, 2012
SELF-ESTEEM

October 27, 2010

Rand Paul Stomper Wants an Apology From Lady He Stomped, Of Course

by Jack Stuef  

Curbstomper / Curbstomper / Curbstomping whatever / A curbstomper stompsEx Rand Paul Bourbon County coordinator Tim Profitt sort of apologized yesterday IF “it appeared overly forceful” when he stomped on that annoying MoveOn woman in the wig. But of course, as we all know, when you stomp on a person’s head, it should really be that person apologizing to you. “I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you,” he said. Yes, we would like you to be honest with us, Tim! Perhaps you can tell us if your mother used to stomp on your head? Or maybe a titillated thoroughbred? “She’s a professional at what she does,” he added, “and I think when all the facts come out, I think people will see that she was the one that initiated the whole thing.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, did he also date-rape this girl? Oh, by the way, he has a very good reason why he had to get this girl on the ground to assault her.

Profitt also blamed the incident on his back pain. Footage shows that Profitt stomped down on Lauren Valle’s head, neck and shoulder while she was being restrained by another man with her shoulder on the street and her head on the curb.

Back pain! The poor fellow. Teabaggers are very angry about the politics, but it’s hard for them to get out of their scooters and do something extreme like a 1960s radical would. So young libruls have to be held down on the ground for it to be a fair fight with these panting world-hating cretins. [TPM]

{ 185 comments }

DCNole October 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm

This makes perfect sense. Nobody question his explanation, because Liberty.

Lascauxcaveman October 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

"I shouldn't have stomped on that girl's head"
Translation: I am a dick.

"I shouldn't have stomped on that girl's head, knowing there would would be professional agitators and many video cameras in the vicinity."
Translation: I'm a really stupid dick.

Haha, Kentucky Stomper! You can spin this, but you cannot win this.

GOPCrusher October 27, 2010 at 5:11 pm

He's already trying to blame his bad back on that woman's head. He may not win this, but he's going to get the sympathy vote.

Not_So_Much October 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm

That hardheaded whore probably made his ouchy-boo-boo back even more sore! I don't think that's a 'Murka any of us want to live in. Also.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm

have any of you people ever tried getting lipstick off the soles of your jackboots? It ain't easy, lemme tell ya.

PsycWench October 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm

The world of apologies has never been the same since Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face and got an apology from him.

Terry October 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

I'm still convinced that man apologized to avoid having something even worse happen.

V572625694 October 27, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Ha ha ha ha….wait…Ew! "Here're your choices, Whittington: you can bleed to death right here, or you can apologize for deflecting my buckshot."

Kidneys4Sale October 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Deflecting, my ass. He had to apologize for not catching enough for Cheney to make his trophy Mardi Gras necklace out of. He was gonna toss that at Megz McCain, fercrissakes.

Not_So_Much October 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm

"What we got ourselves here Harry, is a situation. It's been awful fun out here drinking like fish, shooting eight-thousand dollar shotguns and getting hummers from ugly GOP party chicks. But now you're a-bleedin' and fucking up the good times. If you can keep quiet about this, then I can have a chopper over here right now. Just blow a bubble out that hole in your neck if you agree."

CapnFatback October 27, 2010 at 2:47 pm
mumbly_joe October 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm

TPM also took the pioneering step to dub this dickbag the Kentucky Stomper, which is itself a work of genius. Wonkete, why are you letting TPM do your work for you?

bagofmice October 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Rand: Dumb Stomper wasn't good enough?

BornInATrailer October 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Hey, I coined The Rand & Stompy Show, which is awesome *high fives self*, and Wonkette gets to take credit for that.

Someone just needs to photoshop up the cartoon's title shot with Paul & Profitt in it and it'll have legs.

EDIT: I wonder how John Kricfalusi leans politically. Maybe he's bored today. MAYBE HE ALREADY READS WONKETTE.

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Be careful to brace yourself about that John K. dude. His cartoon work is brilliant, but that dude is seriously strange.

Lascauxcaveman October 27, 2010 at 1:18 pm

"Rand & Stompy." That's pretty good. I like that.

I've just been thinking of the guy as TIMMMAAAH! because he's obviously retarded.

PublicLuxury October 27, 2010 at 3:19 pm

The Kentucky Stomp. Is that a new dance?

babyeinstein October 28, 2010 at 10:29 am

DON'T STOP ON ME

Lucidamente1 October 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm

"Don't tread on me" doesn't mean "don't stomp on me": it ain't in the constitushun, so the 10th amendment means I can stomp girls all I want. The end.

neiltheblaze October 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm

15 extra penis points for all the Wonkeratti who predicted this in the comments threads yesterday. And you all thought it was snark! (Banging head on table.)

Tigersmistress October 27, 2010 at 12:36 pm

I know a man in Kentucky who will be happy to help you bang your head on the table.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I am not sure here… do you need to apologize to the table now, or does your head need an apology from the table, or does the table need to apologize to you, or perhaps it is your conscious will to harm your head that needs an apology from your nerves that sensed the painful blows? Oh wait, maybe it is just the Wonkers that you need an apology from, after all… ?

I wish I was a better shitdouche, this doesn't come naturally to me.

fatoots October 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm

"Oh yeah!? Well she started it!"

Did Mr Profitt ever get beyond 3rd grade in school? 'Cause that's about the all emotional development he shows.

Tigersmistress October 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

if that much.

Boredw/Gravity October 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Uh, no he didn't; no one in Kentucky gets beyond 3rd grade.

OhNoGuy October 27, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Fourth grade is known as "graduate school".

teebob2000 October 27, 2010 at 1:30 pm

3rd graders everywhere now hate you.

zhubajie October 27, 2010 at 8:25 pm

It'd be a Kentucky school, remember.

WunkRocker October 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Today we are all jackbooted Rand0Fascists.

magic_titty October 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Didn't Calley claim his scoliosis was partly responsible for the My Lai Massacre?

Ramon X October 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Calley was a concern troll ahead of his time.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Hitler: "Goddamn this dandruff!"

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm

So that's how that ridiculous salute got started….flicking scalp flakes. Hunh.

horsedreamer_1 October 27, 2010 at 2:49 pm

All I remember about scoliosis is the exam for it in middle/high school & having to bend at the waist for the gym teacher(s).

Is that… normal?

Swampgas_Man October 27, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Was he putting his thumb anywhere . . . uncomfortable?

HempDogbane October 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Tim is a Great American, and above average in his articulation of his points. I would be honored to meet him. So much so that I'd wear my best shoes.

TheMightyHaltor October 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Only if your best shoes are cleats.

kenlayisalive October 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Or ice skates.

BerkeleyBear October 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

I'm thinking steel capped, hob nailed heavy industrial boots/hooligan fancy shoes.

Serolf_Divad October 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Allow me to apologize on Ms. Valle's behalf:

Dear Mr. Profitt,

Please go fuck yourself.

The End.

Terry October 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Why is this guy sounding more and more like a man who beats up his wife or girlfriend? "I didn't want to hit you, but you made me"

BarryOPotter October 27, 2010 at 12:50 pm

"Honey, hurtin' you is the last thing I want to do – but it's still on the list…"

BerkeleyBear October 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm

"Look what you made me do to your face. And our kitchen table is never going to be the same – you know blood don't come out of veneers. How can you be so stupid as to get me that mad?"

mavenmaven October 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Its all part of the new fascist approach, she needs to apologize to him because he stands for the New Leadership and the True Ideals. Any opposition is really an attack on Merka.

the_onceler October 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm

she just doesn't understand the constitution. it's about returning to what the founding fathers wanted.

OhNoGuy October 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm

I don't think they were in favor of stomping people wearing wigs and waving papers. I think many of them wore wigs and waved papers.

Tigersmistress October 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm

"Oh, by the way, he has a very good reason why he had to get this girl on the ground to assault her. "

Yes, very good reason actually. He has a small dick!

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 4:42 am

Don't they all.

PsycWench October 27, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Think of the likely damage to Profitt's back caused by Valle's unnecessary attempts to get up and escape the stomping. I mean, couldn't she see he was in pain and that she should meekly submit to being stomped?

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Actually, he wasn't trying to stomp her at all. He was trying to stomp that toy poodle that lives on Rand Paul's head.

CapeClod October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Profitt then excused himself so that he could go around smashing the windows of businesses owned by religious minorities.

Badonkadonkette October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

How very libertarian of him: individual responsibility means that when someone stomps on your head, you take responsibility for it.

FlownOver October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Could be worse – he could have demanded a Cleveland steamer along with the apology, because why not?

jodyleek October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Profitt added, "Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!"

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 4:48 am

Thanks so much. I've been waiting for a Bizarro posting all election season.
!p-points Bizarro have all will we Soon.

Eve8Apples October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Mr. Profitt – you wouldn't make a decent pimple on a real man's ass. I'm awful sorry about that.

Eve.

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 4:50 am

That's a pimple I'd like to pop.

freakishlywrong October 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Dear Mr. Profitt,

I'm sorry you're such an enormous asssack and I apologize that you are such an ignorant, misogynistic fuck.

Please go directly to Federal Pound me in the ass prison.

legalize everything October 27, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Hopefully the inmates will be considerate of his back issues and ass pound him standing up?

BerkeleyBear October 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm

As it stands now, county meth head/drug dealer lockup. But still could be some fun rapey time on ol' whitey.

Although if the Feds think the county isn't doing enough, all 3 of the dickwads who touched the girl at some point (and there may be more) could be looking at conspiracy to deprive civil rights charges and some time in the Federal pen.

elviouslyqueer October 27, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Next up: Profitt sues the Paducah police for interfering with his First Amendment right to free expression, and the camera crew for humiliation, pain, and suffering.

Fare la Volpe October 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm

In Profitt's defense, this was the closest he'd ever gotten to a woman without paying. He was under the impression such contact was supposed to end in his climax, and she welched on the deal.

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Hey, how do we know it didn't?

Fare la Volpe October 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm

He didn't fall to the ground and yell "OH MOMMY"

WhatTheHeck October 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm

There's a lawsuit in this. His Gucci shoes were damaged when woman's head struck his shoes

JMPEsq October 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Just imagine if the Conservatives had discovered this tactic earlier. Liddy: "I demand an apology from the DNC office; it was the office's own fault, being locked and all forcing us to break into it."

Swampgas_Man October 27, 2010 at 7:10 pm

"If they didn't have anything to hide, why'd they lock the door?"

Failed_2_Menace October 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm

In defense of the Tramplin' Teabagger, with that kind of prescription on her glasses, she may well have needed the help he provided to get a closer look at the writing on the floor.

prommie October 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm

The Love Song of T. Pigfuck Proffit
Let us go then, you and I,
When the liberal is spread out against the curb
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through half-witted crowds,
Of muttering teatards
And stomp the liberal, like an oyster-shell
Stomp out her tedious argument
Of insidious Kenyan fascist commie intent
And put an end to pesky public questions. . .
Don’t let them ask, “Would you repeal the civil rights act?”
Let us go and stomp the liberal.
In the room the teatards come and go
Talking of how Obama must go.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Apparently, human voices aren't very common in teaturd circles…

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Hmmm…for a moment I held T.S. Eliot and the words "teaturd circles" together in my mind.

Ack! Thbbft!

MiniMencken October 27, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Truly an addition to the Modernist canon! Thank you, T.S. Prommie.

horsedreamer_1 October 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm

But wouldn't T.S. Elliott have been a Teabagger, were he around today?

I think so.

MiniMencken October 27, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Most assuredly. He was, apart from being a major poet, a miserable, prissy antisemitic, Tory creep.

Come here a minute October 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Curbstomping was one of my favorite Chumbawamba songs ever —

I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
(Pissing the night away, pissing the night away)

doxastic October 27, 2010 at 12:44 pm

She should have known that his right to kick extends beyond the right of her face to remain unkicked. That's in the constitution.

Tengu October 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Profitt may not owe anyone an apology but his parents sure do.

chicken_thief October 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

What about the douche that actually tackled her? Doesn't he get an apology, too? After all, he did all the work. Pussy Profitt just added on once she was down and pinned. Pain in the ass or no pain in the ass, WORK for your fucking apologies, Slick!

BerkeleyBear October 27, 2010 at 2:06 pm

And the guy who held her legs down who can't even be seen on some of the clips – where's his credit/publicity/apology?

Urban_Achiever October 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

What does our fair Sarah have to say about all of this? I anxiously await her tweet and corresponding Face Book.

Joey_Ratz October 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

We really can't parody these people anymore – no matter how dumb we think they are, they inevitable turn out to be far worse.

Bold prediction: Teatards will now claim this guy was a liberal plant that was trying to make Real Americans look bad because that rootless cosmopolitan George Soros something or other – probably something combining cap-and-trade with death camps in New Mexico.

I'd love to be wrong about this, but I won't be.

JMPEsq October 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Too late!
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/10/finally-some...

"Are the men in the T-shirts also from Moveon.org? Who were they? There were no arrests and though there was a crowd, no one bothered to have detained these men. Did they just melt back into the night? It's very convenient that these bad actors were wearing labels identifying them."

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2010 at 12:57 pm

It's coming.

“The Paul for Senate campaign is extremely disappointed in, and condemns the actions of, a supporter last night outside the KET debate. Whatever the perceived provocation, any level of aggression or violence is deplorable, and will not be tolerated by our campaign,” it said in a statement. “The Paul campaign has disassociated itself from the volunteer who took part in this incident.”
http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20101026/N...

JMPEsq October 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Yeah, while we can't really blame Paul for the actions of his staffer and supporters, we certainly can condemn him for his response with the "bitch had it coming" implication.

lumpenprole October 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

I'm not sure which outcome I'm rooting for. I'd like to see him celebrated as a Real American hero, because, um, I hate them. But the idea of this guy spending the next couple weeks insisting that he is a genuinely stupid asshole and not a Sorosian plant is also appealing.

Swampgas_Man October 27, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Whaddaya got against GI Joe?

PeaceWithHonor October 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

March of the geriatric brown shirts.

Lucidamente1 October 27, 2010 at 12:50 pm

"Stig, I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor."
"No, no. Never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me."
"But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor."
"Oh yeah, well – he did that, yeah."
"Why?"
"Well he had to, didn't he? I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean, I had transgressed the unwritten law."

BaldarTFlagass October 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

We need a hedgehog here.

shiningmathpath October 27, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Teabagger=Dinsdale
MoveOn activist with fake "award"=Doug

"Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug."
"What did he do?"
"He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire."

Q.E.D.

freakishlywrong October 27, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Using this logic, I'm going to go ahead an apologize to the entire Republithug party for the saner of the Americans electing a qualified, mixed race, constitutional professor.as our POTUS.

CapeClod October 27, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Come on, do you think they would ever accept an apology for that?

harry_palmer October 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

I bet the combination of pudding cup beard and sociopathy has Xtine O'Donnell touching herself down there.

Failed_2_Menace October 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

For what will it Profitt a Rand if he stomps a protester himself and forfeits his sole?

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 5:03 am

Excellent, well crafted. Thank you.
I've got nothing so far but rage. I just want to bounce off the walls screaming but my wife is asleep.

MathIsHard October 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Mr. Profitt, fucking shut your stupid fucking child-molestor face, you fucking tiny-dicked troglodyte fucktard.

…I think I need to take a break from Wonkette for today.

harry_palmer October 27, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Well, that won't make cretins like this go away. The great thing about Wonkette is that everywhere else our descent into the abyss is tragedy, here it's farce.

slappypaddy October 27, 2010 at 12:52 pm

after the stormtroopers were set loose on crystal night, the nazis demanded the jews pay for the damage to their own property. based on this ideological precedent, the little lady from moveon should be grateful if obersturmbahnfuhrer profitt doesn't send her a bill.

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 5:06 am

The Nazis cried at the concentration camps too. Look at what the terrible Jews are making good moral Germans do.

JMPEsq October 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm

The winner of this whole mess? Charlie Sheen, who magically manages not to be the worst violent, woman-hating creep of not just the week, but the day.

legalize everything October 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I'm sure the Supreme Court will be happy to rule that stomping on someone's head is a protected form of free speech under the First Amendment. Ms. Valle was interferring with his Constitutional rights as I'm sure the Facts will establish.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm

The "Citizens United to Stomp the Shit out of Annoying Liberals" ruling will also ensure that he can remain anonymous whilst exercising those First Amendment rights.

legalize everything October 27, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Ha, you're so right. Zvi, you should be the new Constitutional Law professor at Glenn Beck U!

MISTAHCOUGHDROP October 27, 2010 at 2:26 pm

We need not only to protect a citizen's right to bear arms but also to bear a pair of boots.

OhNoGuy October 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Not gonna happen. Unless he was incorporated. Look into that.

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

…I am a man, a man
I'll give ya somethin' that ya won't forget
I said ya shouldn't have worn that dress
I said ya shouldn't have worn that dress…
–Scott Weiland

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm

So why wasn't this guy placed under arrest, put in jail, and required to post bail?

mrblifil October 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Looks like it's getting to that point.

prommie October 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Because she needed stomping, that kinda thing is understood, way down south in Dixie.

freakishlywrong October 27, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I have no snark here. He's a rightwing Republican. They stomp. Seen anything about this on the "News" shows? ♪chirp♫..

Allmighty_Manos October 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Don't hold your breath romper stomper. Dan White never got a apology from Harvey Milk and George Moscone either. That's probably because he shot them, though.

Maman October 27, 2010 at 2:14 pm

And Sirhan Sirhan knows that Robert Kennedy would have supported SS's being released on parole. Life's a bitch when you kill the one dude who would have shown you mercy.

ShreditorsDesk October 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Justice Scalia boldly asserts: "He is a corporation, she is not, therefore her citizenship is simply defined as 'her face under his boot.'…"and then he went to sleep..

TanzbodenKoenig October 27, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Please, if there is a God it will be exposed that this guy is receiving Social Security disability payments for his 'neck stomping back pain' and when it comes to light he will be chased out of town by an angry mob of Teabaggers upset that he is suckling from the guvmint teat…. Oh wait, it's only black people and Messicans that are abusing the system. I'm sure he needs that money to masturbate at home every day to Ayn Rand fanfiction and pound Steel Reserves til his wife comes home so he can give her the neck stompin' she deserves, by gum!

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm

I'm pretty sure this guy, who's in his early 50s, claims to be retired, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's a recipient of gubmit assistance of some sort.

It's kinda creepy, isn't it, how many of these guys are unemployed (or "disabled" or "retired") white guys who have time to spend on this crap because they're getting some kind of support by the government. Or by their silent, long-suffering wives.

imissopus October 27, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Or they have generous union pensions that allow them to retire young.

OkieDokieDog October 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

She was showing off her elitism with a wig over her real hair. It's in the bible that this is a sin against the baldies. Therefore, it was his god given right to stomp her in the head. Amen.

mrblifil October 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I'll support the idea of her apologizing to him as long as it is agreed that her apology will also include one free shot at his nuts.

mrblifil October 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Hey listen I think you're just the guy who can help me get rid of my surplus weapons grade anthrax stash.

Steverino247 October 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Ah, the Invisible Boot of the Libertarian Marketplace of Ideas…

xsluggo October 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm

“The Boot of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with an imprint from the face of small women who look like Liz Lemon.” – Thomas “In a sense, aren’t we all slaves?” Jefferson.

nachoproblem October 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Oh. Wow.

I didn't think they could still blow my mind, but they did. They actually did.

It's kind of embarrassing.

Bluestatelibel October 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

I bet any money this woman was wearing a very short skirt and thus the head stomping! On a more serious note, guy is going to need several very good lawyers and thensome, good luck with the courts buddy.

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

I hope she's gotten offers from angry liberal attorneys who are willing to handle the case for free.

ColHeightsChic October 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Angry liberal attorneys are more likely to flock to defend him, the underdog.

Kitty_Sanchez October 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm

He's the underdog?

Dude. I know we spend a lot of time "getting in their heads" to make snark, but…Toggle the teatard logic switch off for a second.

OzoneTom October 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Rand Paul's Romper Stomper Guards!

prommie October 27, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Oh, no, that wasn't even neecessary, it involved the good old boys slapping him on the back and congratulating, and explaining that they have to pretend to do their job so she can't sue, but not to worry, the charges will be dropped after the "investigation," which will reveal, as I said above, that she "needed stompin'."

MathIsHard October 27, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Furthermore, fuck everyone else in that video that let it happen and haven't come out to condemn it.

Congratulations FOX et al.! Now that you've riled the violent retards into believing we're inhuman monsters tied to an all-powerful world-dominating "socialist" conspiracy that is somehow harming them, all the time, they believe they have the right to beat us back anyway they can. How much longer before we get to start making Rwanda comparisons?

HistoriCat October 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm

There is no possible way FOX could have foreseen that such violent acts would happen. No one imagined that such a thing was possible. However, after close investigation, FOX has determined that the entire episode was engineered by leftists.

GOPCrusher October 27, 2010 at 5:42 pm

A recent Fox poll shows that 106% of respondents agree, the librul had it coming to her.

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 5:16 am

♫♪ Tu Tu Tutsi, goodbye ♫♫

amalgamated_inc October 27, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Back pain is not a valid excuse for this; it's commonplace enough among knuckle-draggers.

DashboardBuddha October 27, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Dude…Donkey Punch: Ur duing it rong

DashboardBuddha October 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Imagine a human face being smashed by a cheap sneaker, forever.

It's like American is the WalMart remake of 1984.

x111e7thst October 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm

There was a Hell's Kitchen custom, much practiced by the Westies (inter aliae) back in the good old days. It involve putting a person down in the gutter so their open mouth rested on the curb, and then stepping hard on the back of their head. I would be hard pressed to name a fitter subject for such an exercise than this Profitt.

MistaEko October 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm

In the sickest of ironies, his back pain would have been helped with affordable health care.

obfuscator2 October 27, 2010 at 1:24 pm

on the bright side, if this had happened a few years from now, he probably would have driven over her with his rascal.

Radiotherapy October 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm

It would be great if Dr. Paul gave her a free eye exam. That would be nice. Just throwing that out there.

MikeInMichigan October 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm

As in what? I'm sorry I inserted my face between your foot and the sidewalk?

the_onceler October 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm

The Kentucky Stomper pulls a Ginni Thomas?

walterhwhite October 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm

As Joseph Welch asked Joe McCarthy, "Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

Proffitt: "Of course I do. I only stomped her head. I didn't actually kill her."

Tobacky October 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Aw, cut the curbstomper some slack. He's probably all PTSD from being a member of the most oppressed, misunderstood, misrepresented group in the U S of A. White male conservatives.

Gleem_McShineys October 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Ok, so you have backpain, you can curbstomp someone, and then request an apology.

I have some pretty serious hunger, so I should be able to kidney punch the guy in the Subway line ahead of me. He'll probably apologize immediately, since he knows full well what he is up to, attempting to thwart my position.

THANK YOU LIBERTARIANS, YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE SOCIETY BETTER!

OurHoboSenator October 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I have been having back spasms lately. And here I was using ibuprofen and stretches to treat them, when all I needed was a head to stomp. And the Google machine tells me that it's only a three hour drive from here to Bourbon County, KY…

BaldarTFlagass October 27, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Check out the route on mapquest, too. They drive faster and have a cooler car.

mavenmaven October 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Its Krystal Nite in Kentucky!

horsedreamer_1 October 27, 2010 at 2:52 pm
KevoTron October 27, 2010 at 1:54 pm

I'm working on a recipe for a drink called a Bourbon County Stomper. So far the only two ingredients I can come up with are bourbon and bitters.

Eve8Apples October 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm

If I were bartending, I would make him a shirley temple because only a spineless, girly man would stomp on a women's head after she's been pushed to the ground. He isn't man enough to handle liquor.

el_donaldo October 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Bourbon, bitters, and a little white whine (makes it not Manhattan, good God, anything but that).

Actually the white wine would ruin the drink, because just bourbon and bitters wouldn't be half bad. We can add ruining a classic drink to the curbstomper's list of crimes.

xsluggo October 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Of course Profitt should get an apology! He mistook her for a nun.
And besides and in addition to that, little Lauren soiled the sole of his jack boot with her face, the uncaring bitch.

hagajim October 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

First it was the cops fault and then it was backpains fault….who is next on the list? The socialist/nazi Obamar of course!

Redhead October 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm

"It's like when the cops arrested the black people for sitting at the white lunch counters," added Rand Paul. "Those darkies, they owed the cops an explanation because when all the facts came out, they started it. And if the cops hadn't had back pain, they could have done it all themselves instead of turning the dogs on them."

BarryOPotter October 27, 2010 at 2:06 pm

When Profitt (why the extra 't'?) claimed She’s a professional at what she does, I thought to myself: This guy's just tired of being shit on by professionals, that much is clear. Could Profitt be the elusive one called "Nadine"? Hm…

nanooknw October 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm

She should apologize just like Anita Hill should apologize to Clarence Thomas?
Don't you know they can do anything to you and you must apologize to them
because they are the chosen ones.
See C Street house ..right wing version of Christianity.

donner_froh October 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm

“I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you,”

Whenever someone includes "to be honest with you" in something he says it means he is allowed to make the most insane, disgusting and imbecilic statement imaginable.

But because he is being honest you aren't supposed to call him on his stupidity.

Maman October 27, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Why don't they just change the name of their party to the "Domestic Violence Party" as they seem to use all of the wife-beaters excuses.

mrbubb October 27, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Also, blacks really kinda wanted to be enslaved, since it takes the thinking right out of the equation, and the Jews begged for the gas chambers, once it had been demonstrated to them that they, had in fact, killed God Almighty.

Come on Canada, please fucking take over this fucking insane country.

JMPEsq October 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm

And why hasn't Poland apologized to Germany yet, or Korea to Japan?

horsedreamer_1 October 27, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Of course, Stephen Harper would have joined Profitt in introducing Valle to boot-leather.

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 5:20 am

Build the damn fence now Canada.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP October 27, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Has anyone yet done the "Stomping for Paul" joke yet? Sorry if I'm a bit late to the romp.

No doubt the stomper will soon be working side by side with Joe The Plumber, selling boots and things like that there in the Internets.

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Yah! I have a friend who was run out of her teaching job for merely asking a preacher who was speaking at a MLK rally at her school how he could reconcile his hatred of racism with his outspoken hatred of homosexuals.

I guess Jebus was listening, though. The preach has prostate cancer.

Sgt_Biyatch October 27, 2010 at 2:47 pm

The answer to your friend's question is, "cuz it's in the Leviticus, in between the part about owning slaves and the part about not touching pig skin with your bare hands, unless thou are playing American football."

Ducksworthy October 27, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Time to catalog the rights and liberties they have had stolen by the Kenyan usurper.
1. The Right to sexually molest children
2. The Right to beat children
3. The Right to torture animals
4. The Right to batter women
5. The Right to illegally handcuff and detain potential critics
6. The Right to be denied health care if you're sick
7. The Right to have your tax dollars sent directly to Wall Street
8. The Right to be entombed in an unsafe coal mine
9. The Right to to have your job sent to Bangladesh
10. The Right to have your leader tongue kiss Saudi princes

No wonder they're mad.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 27, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen. Let me introduce to you…

Joe the Stomper!

*thundering teabagger applause*

ColHeightsChic October 27, 2010 at 3:10 pm

I think Steve Jobs should apologize. If he hadn't upgraded the damn iPhone to now include video capabilities, this fun American past time would never have gone viral.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Upcoming news from Kentucky:
Tim Profitt, outraged at the requirement of paying for board certification by the private professional organization American Board of Restraint and Assault, has left the group and formed his own NATIONAL Board of Restraint and Assault, that has no dues requirements for him or any member of his family.

PublicLuxury October 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Somebody got a SS gold star at Hitler camp this summer. Wow. What a leader. I am so pumped. I HAVE to follow the example he has set for me. I didn't go to camp this summer, so I wonder if I can just stomp on any one's head or do they have to be in their early twenties?

BostonJerry October 27, 2010 at 4:13 pm

If we never let women vote, this woman wouldn't have been there to get stomped on.

TanzbodenKoenig October 27, 2010 at 4:13 pm

are you Frank Luntz?

Sgt_Biyatch October 27, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Is that the Woody Woodpecker guy?

lloydstool October 27, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Ed Sanders (of The Fugs) addressed this conundrum 45 years ago: "Get your face off my bayonet!"

Gorillionaire October 27, 2010 at 4:47 pm

I have a bad knee with some pain. So is it okay for me to kick this asshole in the crotch next time I'm in Kentucky?

anteater October 27, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Profitt? I'll apologize to you.
You are the worst kind of pussy; back-stabbing, pushpush slapper who closes his eyes and squeeks when he furiously slaps the air around somebody.
Has NEVER stood up to a guy his own size and loves jeezus.

uh Tim? Fuck You. Swing by Laguna Beach sometime and it would be my pleasure to walk you into the Pacific and see how a Tea Bag floats. asshole, anytime

bilgepump100 October 27, 2010 at 6:09 pm

The baggers are shifting to a "blame the victim" narrative. Apparently, she had the curb stomping coming to her because she got arrested for protesting the government, something a patriotic bagger would never do. http://www.flickr.com/photos/greenpeaceusa09/4635...

zhubajie October 27, 2010 at 8:28 pm

What does Daddy Ron say?

zhubajie October 27, 2010 at 8:56 pm

On the one hand, Profitt should not be kicking anyone in the head. If he's given her a concussion, a prison term for assault is the proper thing.

On the other hand, I fear that Valle is the sort of bourgie white trash fool who thinks that nothing bad can happen, especially if she thinks positive thoughts. Don't provoke the animals unless your prepared to fight!

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2010 at 9:04 pm

I'm not shocked by violence at a campaign rally or event because stupid people do stupid things sometimes.

I also don't consider it a symptom of the candidate's rhetoric in general, since Rand Paul isn't exactly making "stomp on a liberal's head" part of his campaign platform.

What I am shocked by is how much this attack is being not just excused, but condoned.

slowhansolo October 27, 2010 at 11:35 pm

That's just how they bootscoot in Kentucky.

Bootscoot? Boot-Scoot. Boot scoot?

Say it, it's fun!

soujing October 28, 2010 at 12:06 am

v

carlgt1 October 28, 2010 at 2:43 am

ok, need to amend that Orwell quote of O'Brien's from "1984" as fascist right-wingers of the US are going beyond even Orwell's worst nightmare:

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever — and the face apologizing!"

transfatz October 28, 2010 at 5:12 am

Corporations, being legal persons, also have stomp rights. Gulf states, you say you're sorry to BP right this minute!

lulzmonger October 28, 2010 at 5:14 am

I got yer apology RIGHT HERE, fucker.

First criminal charges, then a lawsuit for damages? For a dickhead who's already confessed in public & has subsequently shown next to zero remorse? At a guess, I don't think he's going to be enjoying her "apology" very much.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: