- Joe Miller lied about computers. What does this even mean? It means Joe says he’s never heard of computers, when in fact he has used computers several times, for all sorts of unethical things. (He wrongly used a computer for “political purposes,” and not for sending Animal P0rno to Carl Paladino? Weird.) Poor Joe Miller probably suffers from OCD, and has to lock-unlock-lock his door thirty times and then lie about something before he can leave the house. “OCD” is actually the war disability that Joe Miller lied about having, in order to receive his monthly Army Welfare Check. See? It’s a dangerous cycle. Pretty soon Joe Miller is going to start lying about everything, even if these things have nothing to do with his joke-campaign: “Hey Joe, is this your sandwich?” “Nope, I don’t even know what sandwiches are.” Then you eat the sandwich and Joe is all, “What the heck? That was my sandwich!” And then Joe Miller will arrest you. [AP/The Caucus]
- Omar Khadr pled guilty to “terrorism,” because if he didn’t he would have been shipped back to Bagram Airbase for more routine torturing. What did this Evil Terrorist even do? How many women and children did he slaughter/eat? Oh you know, he killed an American soldier, during a “war.” JAG (or whatever) was actually going to charge Omar Khadr with war crimes, but then Omar’s defense attorney pointed out Mr. Khadr doesn’t have a book deal and has not been offered a professorship, so how could he be a war criminal? Oh and also: Omar was fifteen when he killed this foreign invader/committed this atrocious crime against humanity. Anyway, now he knows not to shoot back when Americans shoot at him! [ThinkProgress]
- Every single law passed in the State of Arizona is unconstitutional. [CNN]
April 16, 2014
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