GREAT MINDS  2:16 pm October 26, 2010

Richard Cohen Loves Sexual Harassment

by Jack Stuef

Just pathetic. And yet, somehow still has a cushy job at the Post.Richard Cohen has heard about all of this Clarence Thomas stuff in his newspaper and is absolutely “mortified.” How could they print something a powerless lady said about a powerful Supreme Court justice? “In elementary school, some kid must have plastered a ‘kick me!’ sign on Clarence Thomas’s back — and it has never been taken off. Every 20 years or so, some woman surfaces to accuse the now-Supreme Court justice of being a male chauvinist pig — to resurrect an old term from the tie-dyed era — but falls frustratingly short of making a case for true sexual harassment.” Cohen can objectively say that this is not evidence that Clarence Thomas maybe was a sexual harasser — it’s evidence that women are mean and like to tell stories about sexual harassment all the time, all of which are basically always false. Oh, but wait a second, didn’t a woman once accuse Cohen of sexual harassment?

I have nothing against McEwen, but I hope her book fails to find a publisher. Some of this is self-protection. I was young and boorish once myself and have turned out to be a veritable saint. I venture to say we all did and said terrible things when we were young, which is why nature protects the elderly with failing memories. I want to forget both Hill and Thomas.

Hmm! Very interesting! We will help you cross the street on this one, kindly old man. From 1998, in The New York Observer:

In its editorials on the Monica Lewinsky matter, The Washington Post has repeatedly urged President Bill Clinton to explain his relationship with the young White House intern, calling his silence “harmful, not just shifty.” Such sentiments have been echoed by Post columnist Richard Cohen, who has suggested that Mr. Clinton should “‘fess up and move on.” But when Mr. Cohen himself was accused of engaging in “inappropriate behavior” toward Devon Spurgeon, a 23-year-old editorial aide at the paper, Post management went into its own form of crisis mode: Staff members are forbidden to discuss the matter, the participants in the dispute have been frozen out by superiors, and Post executive editor Leonard Downie Jr. is refusing to comment. The episode has increased tensions between the sexes at the paper, Post staff members have said, and has exposed a rift between a salty old guard and younger colleagues grappling with the complicated issues of interoffice gender politics.

Haha, it is amazing how this man was the “salty old guard” back then and is still employed by this newspaper. When will the guard arrive that finally fires this terrible man? If this is the event Cohen is referring to, he is saying he was “young and boorish” when this sexual harassment happened in the late ’90s, when Cohen was in what, his mid forties early sixties? A spry, young fellow indeed.

I long ago despaired of getting to the bottom of this case, and I long ago gave up wanting to. I concluded that Thomas as the product of a very small town — the aptly- named Pin Point, Ga. — who was the lone African American in a school full of whites, a racially-isolated kid who lacked the normal interactions and did not learn the requisite social graces. As for Hill, she, too, lacked a certain sophistication or judgment. If she was perplexed by him, he was perplexed by her.

See? Sexual harassment doesn’t exist, it’s merely two people “perplexed” (because Clarence Thomas was perplexed as to what her bra size was?) by each other, and that excuse covers any skeevy sexual advances. For Cohen, any sort of interaction with the opposite sex is perplexing, so all men should be given lots of leeway in terms of sexual harassment and rapin’ and such. And that’s why he always defends sexual harassment in the pages of the Washington Post, as he did with Clinton and Bill O’Reilly. Cohen is certain he knows a thing or two about female sexuality.

Cohen just wants to let men like himself sexually harass young women in their offices without it becoming news and without them getting fired. Is that too much to ask? Certainly not. How very mortifying it is that we would even consider holding men in a position of power — like Cohen — responsible for their actions.

But isn’t it just adorable how Cohen playfully pretends not to remember sexually harassing that young woman? He’s the cute petulant 6-year-old kid next door in the body of a wheezing 90-year-old rapist. [WP/New York Observer]

 
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{ 70 comments }

ph7 October 26, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I was young and boorish once myself and have turned out to be a veritable saint.

In my neighborhood, being 58, eating Viagra like MM's, and asking interns 35 years your junior about blowjobs doesn't constitute "young and boorish".

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I don't believe for a minute Cohen was ever that young.

He was born a pervy old man.

LionelHutzEsq October 26, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Pervy Men remain young for a very long time. Remember that Henry Hyde was in his 50s when he had his "Youthful Indiscretion" while married. There is something about being a perv that keeps you young, at least at heart.

seppdecker October 26, 2010 at 2:21 pm

If it weren't for sexual harassment, Cohen couldn't get any human contact at all.

Anthr_DCLwyr3d October 26, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Devon Spurgeon…with a name like that you are pretty much asking for it.

mavenmaven October 26, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Victims shouldn't be targets of jokes. She appears from all the accounts to have been entirely innocent in this episode, and victimized by the paper as well who mishandled the situation.

Weenus299 October 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm

"I want to forget both Hill and Thomas."

Hill, yeah, forgettable. She's some teacher somewhere who's not doing anything. That drunk Thomas?

HE'S A FUCKING SITTING JUSTICE ON THE SUPREME FUCKING COURT OF THE FUCKING UNITED STATES.

Or a fucking staggering drunk skeezix on the SCOTUS. Who happens to never say anything, and one may wonder why he's fucking there in the first place.

walterhwhite October 26, 2010 at 3:06 pm

She's some teacher someone. To be precise, she's a professor at Brandeis University in Waltham, MA. It's a really good school. She should be on the Court instead of that f*wad Thomas. Can't wait to read his ex-wife's tell-all book. I hope it bites him and that creepy wife of his in the ass.

deelzebub October 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake, this guy is a Moonie!

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2010 at 2:30 pm

The question that always comes up in my mind is, when discussing sexual harassment with female coworkers, if you pronounce it "sexual harassment," is that consider sexual harassment?

prommie October 26, 2010 at 2:40 pm

"Her ass meant nothing to me, it was those titties I was after," or so went the charming joke, back in the day.

ManchuCandidate October 26, 2010 at 2:31 pm

It's Dicky's Cohen's favorite suit… next to his pretend general's outfit he stole from the Wardrobe of Pirates of Penzance which he wears every time he faps out a "Death to FILL-IN-THE-BLANK Enemy of Israel." Column.

prommie October 26, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Who pays better, Wapo, or Mossad?

dr_giraud October 26, 2010 at 8:05 pm

It's not the pay, it's the standards. The Post has none.

Chet Kincaid October 26, 2010 at 2:33 pm

You do know that the Richard Cohen who was gay-cured is a different person than the WaPo columnist? Ever heard of "Disambiguation"? This is either a lousy joke, or a fucking sloppy Wonkette post. Bad Stuef.

Chet Kincaid October 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
anniegetyourfun October 26, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I was wondering if it was meant to be a joke? I never can tell, with Jack.

mavenmaven October 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm

you deserve many up votes for that catch.

chicken_thief October 26, 2010 at 2:33 pm

"— who was the lone African American in a school full of whites, a racially-isolated kid who lacked the normal interactions and did not learn the requisite social graces."

So. Richard. Black kids who attend white schools can not have "normal interactions" or learn "requisite social graces"?!

Well, kiss my ass and call me Rosie! All these years I was thinkin that the coloreds were the problem – turns out it's us socially oafish white folk.

anniegetyourfun October 26, 2010 at 2:33 pm

"and has exposed a rift between a salty old guard and younger colleagues grappling with the complicated issues"

Those words should never have been put together in that order.

V572625694 October 26, 2010 at 2:43 pm

At least the word "crusty" did not appear.

anniegetyourfun October 26, 2010 at 2:47 pm

But it did in your mind, didn't it?

prommie October 26, 2010 at 2:55 pm

And you, you read his mind!

prommie October 26, 2010 at 2:59 pm

By the way, here's a neat parlor trick, if you ever want to freak a guy out by making him think you are clairvoyant, tell him you know something he has been thinking about lately, you sense it, its an idea he has toyed with, you're not sure if its a real, serious thing, or just a passing thought, but you can sense its been on his mind. When he asks what it is, say "you've been thinking of a threesome." You will always be right, always.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2010 at 2:34 pm

At some of the firms I worked for in the private sector, I think sexual harassment was a core tenet of their business model.

anniegetyourfun October 26, 2010 at 2:34 pm

I long ago despaired of getting to the bottom of this case, and I long ago gave up wanting to.

See, that's the thing. Thomas never stopped wanting to get to the bottom of Hill's case.

Fare la Volpe October 26, 2010 at 2:36 pm

"And yet"? Jack, he has a cushy job at the Post because he's pathetic. No stronger voice for conservatism than a perpetual loser. Just look at Stephen Baldwin, who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and earned every single one of his brothers' dollars.

Wadisay October 26, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Memo to Ms. McEwan: If you can't find a publisher for that book of yours, honey, there's always self-publication on the internet and electronic downloads. You might consider an edition where the references to Long Dong appear in BOLDFACE, RED, ALL CAPS.

harry_palmer October 26, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Jack, I'm in awe of your mad photoshop skills with the white facial hair, teeth and glasses on that penis.

marinmaven October 26, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Should I feel bad wishing for an explosion of righteous karmic justice that lands these guys inside of a medium to maximum security prison where they are on the receiving end of "sexual harassment" from the penal version of a "salty old guard"?

I DO feel bad, but I think somehow I will get over it.

V572625694 October 26, 2010 at 2:45 pm

If Cohen really was sexually molested as a child, it is possible to have sympathy for him and his apparent sexual confusion or ambiguity. But at what age did Cohen choose to be a douche bag?

Amaravilha October 26, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Remember, when Richard Cohen was young, he was a real cut-up in Mrs. Avery's fifth grade class. Which makes him capable of judging professional comedians.

And being a middle-aged gross perv makes him capable of exonerating gross perv Supreme Court Justices.

Logix! You gots it!

anniegetyourfun October 26, 2010 at 2:48 pm

I have no words to properly applaud what you have done here. Bravo!

freakishlywrong October 26, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I have but only one p to give and give it gladly. Yer funnie..

sundaytrucker October 26, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Didn't they tell him to lose the Truman Capote glasses at gay-cure camp?

freakishlywrong October 26, 2010 at 2:52 pm

So..sexual harassment has become just another false equivalency. Y'know, BOTH sides perplex.

You, and your terrifying facial hair, please to shut the fuck up.

SayItWithWookies October 26, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Okay, all the racists in the back seat have to move over and make room for Mr. Cohen and Mr. Thomas.

V572625694 October 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm

OT, but speaking of sexual harassment, why has our Wonkett not taken notice of the various cheerleader-related stories today, which are humorous because of the apparent beliefs of some parents and cheerleaders that cheerleading is somehow not sexual?

BombyMcGee October 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Come on, it's not like he stepped on anyone's head.

BornInATrailer October 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm

And thus my own snark today seems like so much tripe. Full Point to you sir or madam.

magic_titty October 26, 2010 at 2:57 pm

I thought he died. No? Did I just stop reading the paper?

walterhwhite October 26, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Where have you been, Magic T? I've missed your comments. (I used to be someone else on the old site.)

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Unmask yourself, walterhwhite. I'm still looking for a couple of Wonketeers I lost in the transition.

walterhwhite October 26, 2010 at 6:35 pm

I used to be yellowdogdem. I never commented that much, but always enjoyed the snark of others. Some of the new crowd don't seem as funny, so I've become emboldened to share my (half) wit.

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2010 at 7:01 pm

I remember your old name. Nice to "see" you. Better a yellow dog than a blue!

prommie October 26, 2010 at 3:05 pm

So, Richard Cohen never was cured of the gay? I mean, not that there is anything wrong with that,. . .

waitforsugar October 26, 2010 at 3:07 pm

It's ok Jack we still love you. It would be highly entertaining if they were the same Richard Cohen.

Jerri October 26, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Well I for one am shocked that a privileged, creepy-lipped old white guy doesn't care about the sexual harassment of comparatively powerless ladies in their midst and/or the news. SHOCKED I tell you.

Manhattan123 October 26, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Fun fact: recent man-of-the-hour Juan Williams also defended Thomas back during the Anita Hill days, and oops, wouldn't ya know, it turned out he also had a sexual harassment problem. You would think these pervs would just lay low during public cases of harassment and not want to open their own can of worms.

Gleem_McShineys October 26, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Can of worms, can of pubes, tomatoe, tomahto.

Kitty_Sanchez October 26, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Oh, fine! Bring up that ugly business about Cohen from 1998! Yes, but you see, Cohen had no sexual interest in Spurgeon; he just felt hostility toward her and so he used gender/ age/ position power differentials — and uncomfortable sexually explicit talk — to insult and intimidate her. So since Spurgeon didn't give Cohen a boner, it couldn't have been sexual harassment.

But the thing with Thomas — well Anita Hill did give Thomas a boner, but since Cohen is envious of… and feels inferior to… a guy like Thomas, who is non-gay and gets boners from women, well… we should cut Thomas a little slack. Boys will be boys. Normal, non-gay boys will be disrespectful, boorish boys… according to the gay-curing info Cohen has learned. Thomas is a real man, which Cohen aspires to, and besides, it's not like he raped her, right??

Chet Kincaid October 26, 2010 at 3:14 pm

All's forgiven, keep up the more typical great work!

elviouslyqueer October 26, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Hmmm. Sounds like Cohen needs a dash of the sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot treatment.

PublicLuxury October 26, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Yeesh… these women these days. Talk about sensitive. Give me a break. All women love it when they are being leered at in the office. I know I especially like it when a guy grabs his 'package' and licks his lips when staring at me. Sorry Cohen, I had to speak up.

Leonard Downie Jr? Is that Robert Downie Jr.'s brother?

MiniMencken October 26, 2010 at 3:31 pm

In 1998, he would have been in his early fifties, and thus still "young and boorish." I guess Cohen thinks 50 is the new 20. But he is always perplexed by that wacky man-woman thing. Most memorably for me, this year, in July, when he applauded the Swiss for not extraditing Roman Polanski, who was so perplexed about what to do with a 13 year old girl he had given a Quaalude and several glasses of champagne that he fucked her in the anus rather than the vagina (a mistake that, really, any fellow could make).

JustPixelz October 26, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Yes. According to some sex survey I read on wonkette, oral and anal sex is usually by accident.

MiniMencken October 26, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Yeah, totes, J-PixieSticks.

Doglessliberal October 26, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Well, I didn't think I could despise this man more, but oh happy day, it has come to pass.

RunnyRose October 26, 2010 at 3:42 pm

And see, I thought he looks more like Harry Potter in about 40 years.

Guppy06 October 26, 2010 at 3:52 pm

"I want to forget both Hill and Thomas."

Tell that to Ginny and her mad drunk-dialing skillz.

LionelHutzEsq October 26, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Every 20 years or so, some woman surfaces to accuse the now-Supreme Court justice of being a male chauvinist pig

Except in this case, it was the now-Supreme Court justice's wife that surfaced after 20 years.

outragedcitizen October 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Damn, but Cohen is one goofy looking mother fucker!

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Even Jimmy Carter had lust in his heart. But somewhere along the line he learned manners, unlike Richard Cohen and our unesteemed Supreme, apparently.

kittylittr October 26, 2010 at 4:35 pm

What's even more impressive is that Richard Cohen wrote the entire piece with his cock in Ginni Thomas' mouth while Clarence watched.

dr_giraud October 26, 2010 at 8:07 pm

I'm surprised he didn't implore Anita Hill to apologize so we can all move past this, for the children. And tits.

kenlayisalive October 27, 2010 at 2:17 am

You're right! Sometimes I look into the bathroom trash, and there is a particularly used up q-tip in there, and I'm like "It's so cute!". Then I imagine it sexual harasses me.

transfatz October 27, 2010 at 3:48 am

Every time I see his picture I think "shouldn't they be digging up his basement and back yard?"

transfatz October 27, 2010 at 3:52 am

Now you've made me all perplexed.

walterhwhite October 26, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Were you always Jukesgrrl?

Jukesgrrl October 28, 2010 at 1:11 am

Yes, on Huffington Post and other places, too — all the same me for years now.

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