they shall overcome

RedState Angry It’s ‘Still’ Not ‘Allowed To Make a Racial Slur’ About Obama

PUMA ZORD! ACTIVATE!As soon as we see a black person in a position of power, we all immediately turn to utter a racial slur about this person, right? You guys know what we’re talking about! Black people are scary! YET, RedState has apparently had to go years without saying such a thing towards the president of the United States, who is a black guy. That is a very impressive amount of willpower for people who hold racism so dear! RedState definitely deserves a Medal of Honor for this (as long as that black guy doesn’t get his grubby socialist fingers all over it). However, RedState blogger Dave Poff has determined that Obama recently said a racial slur himself, so now all the RedStaters are Free At Last to type racial slurs about Obama on the Internet. Hooray!

The Ark of the Racist Covenant was found on Yahoo! News:

He said Republicans had driven the economy into a ditch and then stood by and criticized while Democrats pulled it out. Now that progress has been made, he said, “we can’t have special interests sitting shotgun. We gotta have middle class families up in front. We don’t mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back.”

It’s not explained how this is a racial slur, but we guess this RedStater thinks this has something to do with the Montgomery Bus Boycott? Apparently he is not aware what “shotgun” means, and that Obama is obviously talking about a car, not a bus.

In the new post-racial America, brought to us by Barack “don’t call me black or white, just call me American” Obama, we have been told our differences are behind us now…just because he exists and… just because he is black. Yet, day by day and speech by speech, this President has done more damage to race relations than any combination of Presidents since Lyndon Johnson…and he, at least, tried to make things better with a sincere heart.

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Yes, and Lyndon Johnson, at least, was white.

So now the floodgates are open for RedState to refer to the president as a series of racial slurs, we guess. Have fun, you guys! [RedState]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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121 comments

  1. SarcasticNymph

    I think what Obama meant was "they can come for the ride but they gotta take it in the rear".

      1. BornInATrailer

        I just saw that hand painted on a jeep a couple weeks ago. I'm pretty juvenile and I laughed pretty hard.

    1. walstib

      It's like Obama's channeling Snoop Doggy Dogg:

      All these sucka ass niggaz can eat a fat dick
      Yeah, Eazy-E Eazy-E Eazy-E can eat a big fat dick
      Tim Dog can eat a big fat dick
      Luke, can eat a fat dick, yeah…

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Especially when Jerry trips and falls and Bush Sr. and Bush Jr. accidentally touch "pointers". Ick, smacks of incest.

  2. natoslug

    I'll click on a Redstate the day I have the power to kill people with my mind. Until then, I say "Thanks for taking one for the team, Jack. You are a true American hero."

  3. finallyhappy

    But of course, President Obama has destroyed the civil rights movement and all progress- because he is black and the President and this makes white people angry. And no presidents before him were black so any combination of them or all of them – no matter what they did- they were white.

  4. Badonkadonkette

    Fox News has been blaring this argument all over their website today, too. The argument only works if the Republican party is a racist, uniformly white party that doesn't even allow minorities.

    Wait a minute…

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Au contraire, mon amie. They have the pride of OK, JC Watt, Michele Bernard (who claims she's the boss of "the independent women's forum" which evidently exists only in her mind) snarky little Amy Holman and that cross eyed black guy who shows up on MSNBC.

      So. You stand corrected. You're welcome.

      1. BarackMyWorld

        I have to defend my future wife and state that Bernard was quite positive toward Barry during the 2008 election on "Hardball."

  5. el_donaldo

    Luckily we don't have to wait for anything to happen before we can call anyone who posts on RedState a fat-headed cracker. Cracker.

      1. Anthr_DCLwyr3d

        Back of T-Shirt: "If you can read this the bitch fell off my taxpayer subsidized no-cost to me communist medicare Rascal. "

  6. weejee

    Yeah, the Voting Rights Act, Medicare, and enforcing anti-lynching laws were seriously Redstate racist shit. We outa dig up Lyndon and lynch him just because.

    1. V572625694

      Really. Those Civil Rights Acts of 1964 and 1965 really set race relations back, because they made it possible for Black people to vote. That sucks!

  7. freakishlywrong

    Wait. What? Because conservatards have to sit in the back of the rhetorical car they drove off a cliff it's open season on racial slurs?

  8. elviouslyqueer

    Wow, the collective conniption fit over at RS is impressive. Sad, lamebrained, and pathetic in a genetic throwback kinda way, but still impressive.

  9. Ruhe

    Sweet memories of Johnson's sincerity aside I suspect that what this Redstate guy and Lyndon really have in common is that their pants fit too tight in the ball area causing involuntary crankiness.

    1. anniegetyourfun

      Huh, see, I would have guessed that most Red State readers had been castrated by the state, on account of all the kiddie diddling.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    In the new post-racial America, brought to us by Barack “don’t call me black or white, just call me American” Obama, we have been told our differences are behind us now…

    …but only by the racists, for some reason. Why don't these idiots understand that the long-prophecied and long-dreamed-of end to racism doesn't mean that racists now have permission to be racist again? Do the RedStaters and the paleoconservatives really think it works that way? Or was that overheard quote from fifteen years ago more accurate — and I swear I saw this somewhere for real — "Newt Gingrich is right — racism is over in America. So those n~s got nothing to complain about now."

  11. Respitetini

    Poor wingnuts. They've been Southern-strategied to believe that not only is this ethnic group coming for their wimmen-folk, but they're going to make shit as bad for Real Americans as they had it back before. So you really can't blame them for jumping on this like it's the one thing that makes their screwed-up world view vaguely legitimate-ish. They'd've believed anything…

  12. Maman

    Calling "shotgun" before getting the car is racist? Darn. Now I have to work beating my children into my morning schedule… or should I just go with a re-education camp for them?

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      I'm a little confused, but I think they are suggesting that your white kids should take their shotguns onto the bus… or something.

    2. BarryOPotter

      Why do you ask? Is the government stopping you from morning beating before re-education? Just make sure it's a day camp, or the AM pummelings will be too few, which may dilute the power of your message.

    3. Dashboard_Jesus

      decisions, decisions…what's a mom to do? awww, just go with beating them into a re-edukashun camp and call it a day!

  13. HELisforHEL

    Oh goody! I can't wait for that next round of racist asshole emails from my friend's Stepfather. He'll undoubtedly have plenty of 'Facts' gleaned from RedState re: OBAMAR's use of racial slurs, his plans to kill white folks, his penchant for loose shoes…

  14. Failed_2_Menace

    The assertion about Obama's leadership in race relation damage is technically accurate, because Arabs are considered white per US Census standards, so Dubya's rampant Muslim-baiting only deteriorated the relationship with his honky brethren.

  15. harry_palmer

    In the new post-racial America, brought to us by Barack “don’t call me black or white, just call me American” Obama, our differences are behind us now, chained to the bumper of our pickup truck.

  16. finallyhappy

    Yes, he is talking about a car- I've heard this speech. " in the car, D means Drive and what does R mean? There is a reason for this" (a lot of laughs from us in the audience). But how typical to pull out what nasty crap you want to convey, Redneckstate- as if this President would use the civil rights movement to push his agenda. We leave the demeaning of important events to the GOP and their rentboys, the teabaggers.

  17. BerkeleyBear

    You have to squint so hard to find anything in that comment that Sharon Angle will think your are Asian (or Christine O Donnel will think you are turning Japanese).

    At least he didn't recommend the Mitt Romney treatment fro the GOP, strapping them to the roof because they like the

  18. snoopyfan2010

    Not snark but semi-logical thought…..I wonder if they think we care anymore? I mean after a while people are just going to assume they're stuipd and ignore them.

  19. Beetagger

    I'm waiting to hear Michael Steele's take on this. Once he spits out the large, white dick. (oxymoron.)

  20. NorthStarSpanx

    So when President Sarah Palin's Census Director Jan Brewer finally issues those national identification cards, will Barack Obama's kennkarte be labeled mischlinge with respect to his being half white or half black?

  21. Doglessliberal

    Can someone please play these utter moron bigots Hopey's Phila speech in which he plays out the car metaphor in an extended way? The man likes driving references. It is a convenient and effective tool to convey meaning.

    Jesus farging Christmas. The geneal miasma of stupidity hanging over this country these days is making me despair for…well, for everything.

    1. finallyhappy

      Of course,they heard it- he gave that speech here at Bowie state- and I am sure lots of other places but Redneckstate wants to convey a different meaning- and the dumb teabaggers are not going to listen to the real speech- anything more than sound bites or a single simple headline confuses them.

      1. Doglessliberal

        Yeah, I know. I keep making the same mistake that his Admin does, thinking that people are rational and listen and can understand logic. Silly me.

        1. lumpenprole

          What an elitist thing to say. You can take your reasonableness and go back to Sharia! Or Russia. Or wherever it is they cut off peoples' heads and hands! You know what I mean. I'll figure it out when I make my sign. uh-huh. Racists. You're all racist insects! Now that there's no racism left but YOURS, you insects, I'm gonna let everyone know what I really think of cosmopolitans, black guys, illegals, …

          What a dispiriting news day.

          1. Doglessliberal

            Just wait until the statement from someone about how the gays caused yesterday's earthquake/tsunami and today's volcano eruption in Indonesia.

  22. Anthr_DCLwyr3d

    It's racist because unless you are a communist you are driving a pick-up truck. And the back of the pick-up truck is the outside part where they haul watermelons. Or turnips.

  23. OkieDokieDog

    Isn't it the law that unruly children must be restrained in the back seat in car seats?

    Of course the GOP wants to drive the pick up truck off the cliff with their little bastard TeePee kids standing in the back. When they crash and burn, it will be Obamas fault,
    because he's black.

  24. Native_of_SL_UT

    "we have been told our differences are behind us now."
    Seriously, who the fuck ever said that?
    If anything, Obama's election proved definitively that this is not the case.

  25. DustBowlBlues

    In my lily white Oklahoma City southside (working class, redneck) high school back in the olden days of the 1960s, riding "shot gun" meant you rode in the passenger seat upfront with, of course, the driver, who was white because none of us knew anyone who wasn't.

    Is Red State telling me that we used the term because we were racist against ourselves? Damn. This is very confusing to me. Then again, I'm an old, not like the hipsters at Red State.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Maybe all those rednecks rode the school bus with their shotguns by their side. in case they saw a coon.

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      And the guy who had to ride between the driver and the shotgunner, we called the "Lucky Pierre." Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

  26. Eve8Apples

    If you think the midterm election cycle is insane, just wait to the Teabagger Klan rallies and watermelon feeds in 2012.

  27. north_of_moscow

    I suggest our honorable president begin all speeches with "Excuse me while I whip this out."

  28. BombyMcGee

    In speech after speech, Obama continues to damage race relations by constantly reminding inbred hicks like Poff that there are such things as black people, and Poff hates black people.

  29. reliefsinn

    As well all know, the race card can't be played any longer, black people have no reason to complain now, etc, etc, so it's ok to use racial slurs. Get it?
    BTW, what did Red State mean when they referred to LBJ as a "combination of Presidents"?
    There might be some snark here, but it's not coming to me.

  30. frailamerica

    Yes, "race relations" would be so much better now had that bastard Johnson not passed the Civil Rights Act. But it sure was sincere of him to try.

  31. freakishlywrong

    We're doomed. Must renew passport. DON'T for the love of shotgunnin' Jebus read those comments on the Yahoo.

  32. SayItWithWookies

    Oh dammit — I looked at the comments:

    For too long we have been held hostage by the fear of being called racist. We won’t criticize because we’re called racist. We can’t let them control the language. With their allies in the MSM we have an uphill battle, but the only losing battle is the one people refuse to fight.

    Just think, people — those timid right-wing shrinking violets are finally going to be able to let it all hang out. No longer will they be hamstrung by their own sensitivity to others or their mortal fear of being thought of as racists. If you hear a soft plastic-on-cotton sound it's probably a thousand brown shirts being buttoned up to their too-tight collars.

  33. DustBowlBlues

    I read it again and I think I get it now. He said Republithugs were supposed to ride in the back seat. Oh, well that's completely different. How racist!

    Time for the Repubs to go back to the kind of language that they enjoy.

  34. Eve8Apples

    If we hang a pair of TruckNutz on the back of the car, will that make RedState happy? What if Obama drives the car through McDonald's and buys them each a Happy Meal?

  35. fuflans

    take a look around you nothing what it seems
    we're living in the broken home of hopes and dreams

    – jon bon jovi

  36. JMPEsq

    So wait, Lyndon Johnson did more damage to race relations than any other President, I guess by ramming the Civil Rights Acts down their throats and forcing the poor Southern whites to have to treat those black people with respect. To these guys, I suppose Lincoln also did horrible damage to race relations, and Obama is harming them by forcing the teabaggers to have a black President, making them act all racist and shit.

    Hm, I guess by "damaging race relations" they really mean "allowing black people to act all uppity instead of staying in their proper subservient place." Assholes.

  37. donner_froh

    AT LAST! The long exile of Red State and the demented fuckwits who read it has ended. Their time on the cross of civil discourse is finally over. This is a new day of freedom from having to act civilized.

    They can get back to screaming about how much they hate everyone but themselves.

  38. marinmaven

    Maybe it is just me, but since Obama became president I even have more reason NOT to fear black men. Obama models cool-headed reason mixed with conciliatory intellect. He is even-minded to a fault. On the other hand, there have been more reasons to fear the folk whose skin color is the only thing they and I have in common. Their tourette-like racism is rooted in profoundly irrational fear, anger, and ignorance. The Internet is ridden with Obama with a bone through his nose, and they go "I am not racist, it is you "libruls" that are racist!" Pfptt.

    They are bullies and thugs who lack respect or knowledge of our constitution or morality. What they want is a theocratic dictator who enforces a religion they are clueless about. These suckers talk a lot about freedom, but really what they really respond to is a despot that is as ignorant as they are who through cult of personality and/or machismo creates a world safe for their world view in exchange for their constitutional rights. It is a whole a lot of stupid backed up by military might.

    They are the ones who thought up the concept of death panelz, Fema Death Camps, and black helicopters which is far outside the imagination of the liberal mind. They wish for things to happen, but in a fit of transference claim it to be in some evil liberal plan.

    I feel like a f@$%ing exile in my own f@$%ing backwards wormhole of a country

    1. DustBowlBlues

      My, my. You are so articulate that with that Marin in your name, I'm thinking–hey! Are you Senator Boxer? Go ahead: you can tell us. No one reads the wonket except for the Red Staters.

      1. marinmaven

        Wouldn't it be great if our Senators would have the rocks to rip these folk a new one and have the backbone to call out republicans rather than be so scared of being called "librul" that they cave?

        Alas, I am just an average Jane curling up in a fetal position in the liberal bubble of Marin imagining my escape to France.

    2. Ducksworthy

      Actually, I think what motivates them deep down is the fantasy that after the devastation of the country by rampaging anarchists, in the chaos and ruins, with all the men dead, they might get laid by a woman who weighs less that 300 pounds and doesn't smell like feet.

  39. JMPEsq

    The RedState are again showing either their inability to see context, or willful ignorance of it. It should be pretty clear that saying a black person should sit in the back of a bus is racist, because of the history of segregation and Jim Crow laws that forced them to do so; while saying a white person should ride in the back (not even of a bus) has no connection to that shameful history and has nothing to do with race. This is similar to when some of them tried to justify comparing Obama to a monkey or chimp by saying "But liberals said the same thing about Bush!", ignoring the long history of racists making jokes calling black people monkeys.

    Whether they are doing so on purpose or just stupid remains to be determined.

    1. ThePrincessPat

      Additionally – it wasn't that 'white people' should sit in the back… It was 'republicans'.

      How are they making the connection that 'republicans' = 'non-black people'?

      1. JMPEsq

        Yeah, it's not even racial really; and anyway the connection is "republicans ≤ non-black people".

  40. horsedreamer_1

    I like to imagine the woman in the PUMA stock-photo has a 20 years old grandson with a black girlfriend, & a child by same. Then, I think what Thanksgiving with Grandma/Great-Grandma is like. The teeth-grinding must be almost symphonic.

  41. MiniMencken

    To complete the historical comparison, Dave Poff has to point out that the President who most harmed race relations in the United States was that PaleoRepublican, Abraham Lincoln.

  42. undeterredbyreality

    The Repubs can ride in the back seat as long as Obama drives, Biden rides shotgun, and they play out that scene from Pulp Fiction where Jules/Obama and Vincent/Biden have a slight mishap:

    Vincent: Whoa!
    Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!
    Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.
    Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!
    Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
    Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time…
    Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
    Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump!
    Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don't know why.

  43. Ducksworthy

    Occasionally, during the health care debate, I thought to recite the G.B. Shaw quote that begins: "That any sane nation" only to realize that quote does not in any way apply to USA Amurika.

    1. imissopus

      Plus the teabaggers HATE G.B. Shaw. He was a socialist, or a Fabian Socialist, or some such teabagger bullshit that makes them crap their pants.

  44. GOPCrusher

    I understand why RedStaters would consider Obummer's comment racist, because EVERYONE knows that only blacks sit in the back of the bus. And blacks are second class citizens. So Obummer is calling Republiklans, second class citizens. It's really quite simple when you think about it.

  45. zhubajie

    "RedState definitely deserves a Medal of Honor"

    The Plexiglas Bellybutton! It lets them see where they are going even when they have their heads up their *sses!

  46. CUNextTuesday

    "…the Democrats pulled it out…"

    Golly, d'ye think it was the reference to Democrats using Teabagger Birthcontrol that pissed them off?

  47. MilwaukeeKent

    Is Redstate suggesting there's something wrong with ringing up the limo? Sounds like class warfare to me. Oh, and a good cornerman at the wheel…

  48. luke_warm

    Ford and Carter! Um, Bush I, Bush II, and Nixon. OK, OK, wait, wait- Bush II, Clinton, and Reagan. Damn, he's right. No combination works.

  49. transfatz

    "Lyndon Johnson…at least, tried to make things better with a sincere heart."
    Awww, what a warm and fuzzy way to think of getting my friends killed in Vietnam.

  50. Dr_pangloss

    I was even kind of shocked when I heard the out context clip that FOX used and then I thought, No that can't be right. I looked up the rest of the speech and was like OK, it has nothing to do with race. Yet still FOX steamed right ahead with the Rosa Parks analogy. Good old FOX race baiting even when there is no reason for it.

  51. Alx!

    I'm actually curious to hear an argument about this LBJ racism thing… this guy was probably too high on whatever came before hillbilly heroin (real heroin?) to even be aware LBJ was president.

  52. horsedreamer_1

    But will CNN have the guts to fire Erik Erickson, same as they fired Rick Sanchez, if this escalates?

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