Oh, this is a sad day for psychic sea creatures:
Paul the Octopus, who accurately predicted the result of every German soccer match as well as the final in this year’s World Cup in South Africa, has died.
The mollusk-turned-sage passed away naturally in his aquarium in the western German city of Oberhausen overnight, Sealife said today in a statement on its website. Aquarium workers were “devastated” when they found him this morning.
Paul, who was 2 1/2 years old, became a media sensation in Germany and around the world this summer with his talent for World Cup predictions. He tipped winners by choosing between two mussel-filled containers adorned with the flags of each team.
Paul was also famous for being a Western infidel and a sworn enemy of Iran. Paul 
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Kluge Hans!
Warum hat Deutschland alle die klugen Tiere, und wir haben nur fettigen faulen
Teabaggers?
Es ist nicht gerecht! Aber zumindest können sie nicht lesen Sie diese. Studieren Fremdsprachen ist elitär.
In puncto Teabaggers, studieren ist elitaer, punkt.
Das ist unwahr. Wir haben Pitbulls mit Lippenstift, und Mama Grizzlies. Beide sind völlig klug, wie Andreas Breitbart.
Kluger Hans, bestimmt.
Workers were devastated but consoled when after appropriate frying, Paul transformed into some excellent kalimari.
Sadly, Octopi have very short lifespans, between three and five years depending on species; it's probably why they haven't taken full control of the seas yet, despite their very high intelligence.
Nah, it's squid speciesism that keeps the octopi down! Down with the squid oppressor!
Octopi might, but what about octopodes?
It's not surprising — Paul was a soccer fan, so he was bored to death.
Gonna mourn ya 'til I join ya…
Has anyone told Ringo?
That's weird, I heard that the walrus was Paul.
Turn me on, dead cephalopod.
Did he predict his own demise?
It was poison. First they came for the psychic optopi…
(only one "soccer's boring" comment? tisk tisk…)
German octopi never die, they just fade away into Polish territory.
I thought they moved to Argentina and lived quietly under an assumed name.
HA! Didn't predict that, did you Paul!
Is Knut okay?
I actually heard that he's being bullied by the female polar bears in his enclosure. Poor Knut! Smokey needs to make an "It Gets Better" video for him.
Dang mama grizzlies. No country or species is safe.
Good sports predictor but his tentacles sucked.
It was the fame that did him in. The constant parties with high flying celebrities, the out of wedlock children…it was too much. Cocaine is much more dangerous to octopi than to humans.
You'd see him after a particularly bad night, half opened clams all over, tentacles all knotted up, laying in a puddle of his own ink.
RIP Paul
Unsere Wonkette, wo obskuren Fakten niemals sterben.
BTW, ich bin ein Dűd, IIRC
Cthulu called him home to Cyclopean, non-Euclidean Octopus Heaven. Ia! Ia!
He was too beautiful a soul to live in this ugly world. May his fried flesh, accompanied by cocktail sauce, provide sustenance for the hungry aquarium workers in tandem with the mugs of beer they will lift in his honor.
I am a new Lied now composing in response to this event. I entitle it "Tod und die Krake."
And to think the RNC was about to offer the dude Michael Steele's job in November!
Did they give him a day? he might have come back to life.
Is he baked into an octo pie?
Ich hat ein Traurig. Tshuss, mein Krakenfreund!
The tragedy is compounded by the pending announcement that he was to star in a reality tattooing series tentatively titled "Oberhausen Ink."
Paul is survived by his wife, Nadya Suleman.
You only THINK he is dead. He is really lying in R'yleh dreaming of the day when he and his kin will return to the world to consume everything and everyone one.
i am so sadder about mollusk than baggers.
He wasn't German, he was born in Weymouth, England. Hence the not-very-German name.
Anyway, give it a week and Palin will be citing his early death as an example of the perils of European socialist healthcare. In America, psychic cephalopods live long, happy lives.
I have had Octopus's Garden as an earworm since I heard about this yesterday morning. Shoot me now.
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