We remember it like it was yesterday, but actually it was 9/12: Your part-time morning editor was walking dejectedly through a Tea Bagger field, and then Andrew Breitbart appeared from the mist in a gorgeous Victorian gown and drunkenly groped us for what seemed like “too long.” It was such a special, Charlotte Bronte moment. Obviously the entire world saw this embrace, on C-SPAN radio, and then the “when is the wedding?” emails started pouring in. But some liberals protesting last month’s Right Nation picnic were asking different questions, questions like “Andrew Breitbart’s gay!” Andrew Breitbart says this is hate speech, and adamantly denies his boy-touching tendencies. And after doing lots of serious journalism, Breitbart has finally identified his accuser! (Hint: She’s a Democrat.) Andrew Breitbart might not be gay, but he’s certainly something. In these modern times there are so many different genders and sexualities. Andrew’s gender is probably “Into Ladies, But When Drunk Likes Touching Boys.” Oh Breitbart, isn’t it time you contacted your local LGBTBBQ (sp?) Pride chapter?
Who is this woman who tried to make Breitbart “come out,” when he clearly wasn’t ready? Her name is Sue Walton, and she is a Democratic Party Official. Shirley Sherrod turned out to be a bit of a dud, but this Democrat-lady really does hate Andrew Breitbart’s whiteness/sexuality — hoochiemama!
We spoke with Sue Walton by phone to tell her that she had been identified, and to offer her a chance to comment and/or deny that she attended the protest, and/or to deny the accuracy of the quote attributed to her. Walton declined our offer, twice.
Using “gay” as a derogatory term is wrong and hurtful, so shame on that probably obnoxious libtard lady. But if you can’t stop touching boys, doesn’t this mean something? Yes. It means you should call us, Andrew. [Big Government]
{ 113 comments }
I personally won't believe he is straight until I see some evidence on a real sex tape machine.
Do you have to order those from HBO?
You can get them cheaper from the Home Shopping Network.
And ewww again; I remember turning that on as a kid, thinking it would be great with lots of nudity; but the nudity was almost all fat old people.
But in those early, pre-internet days, you take what you can get.
No, that was the window into your parents' room.
Ewwww.
" I personally won't believe he is straight until I see some evidence on a real sex tape machine."
I really won't believe you have any brains until I see evidence in the crap you write.
LOL. Ditto.
Also.
Hey GR, top of the day to you.
Andrew Breitbart actually being gay would be one of the few non-despicable qualities he could have.
Obvs. You can't help if you're a Palin kid or gay, but conservatism is a choice.
Crap, downvoted you by mistake. They really need to let us do take-backsies with our pee.
Pleasure excuse the downsie..I thought you could change it and used your's to test my theory.
Nah, I totes deserved it. But now you see my point! Pee is permanent, and no amount of wishful thinking can take it back. Perhaps we've been too gung-ho in our peeing: spraying willy nilly in any direction the wind blows it. We never stop to think of the human toll our pee can take.
It appears this "democrat" woman is damning AB with faint praise.
Not me. I'm praising him with faint damns.
Self-loathing closeted Republican? I would say she's just playing the odds.
Why won't Liz use the other pictures she took of your special moment and post a GIF of Andy humping your right thigh? Cover-up!
Orange woman didn't say there's anything wrong with being gay; that was bigfart's automatic homophobic interpretation.
Ya beat me to it…. but ya, "I think he is gay" is simply an observation. Like "I think he is tall (or short)" It is hardly an insult.
Besides, can he PROVE he wasn't sucking cock through the port-a-potty glory hole?
Eww 2x
I agree. What are we missing here? To simply say "I think he's gay" is a statement of fact. That's what she thinks. While that might (and I mean "might") cost her her job at NPR, I don't see why Andy B. got all upset about it.
Geez these right wing nutz sure are touchy!
And – yes – I mean that both ways. Just like him.
Right, and there's an implication of hypocrisy on Breitbart's part, since righties are generally associated with homophobia. Or is Breitbart one of those "oh I'm cool with the gays" sort of conservatives? I googled around but couldn't find his position on gay rights.
Dunno, but he sure is an opportunist. A normal person would have either ignored her or asked why she thought that.
But to infer that it's a slur is fucked up. If someone said I was gay, I wouldn't start screaming, "Bigot!"
Poor Riley. This brutal molestations explains much of his subsequent behavior.
Is he gay? Or European?
We are finally recovering some of the respect the nation lost during the Bush years, but then you had to go there…. the Euros will NEVER forgive us for mistaking AB as one of them.
There's a difference?
Thank you and I love you.
FIRST THEY CAME
A Poem By Andrew Breitbart
First they came for the homos, and I was silent, because I'm such a queen, they'd only need to put me on a stake and my flaming personality would do the rest.
Then they came for the fucktards, and, well, they found me immediately, not too sure what happened after that. I wish I wasn't such an obvious fucking fucktard!
"First they came for the homos, and, well, they got me."
Riley, you forgot to put the lightning bolt scar between your brows.
Boy hugging bloated psycho is bloated psycho boy hugger.
Could it be that Breitbart is simply a closeted priest?
Breitbart has probably played doctor with little boys rectums more times than he's played docter with incriminating footage of libtards
It's really traumatic when one's animal magnetism attracts real, live animals. Are the therapy sessions working, Riley?
Oh Riley, you're wonderful. Thanks for the laughs–and taking a bullet for we Wonketteers…
Honestly, Breitbart looks like he just came off a serious bender. Ewwww.
Can the internets reek of stale booze?
Riley, Andrew would like to set up an interview with you on James O'Keefe's boat, so the two of you can get to the "bottom" of these allegations. And the bottom of a jar of condoms.
Will Andy's coming out party be in Coctober or Blovember? You know Riley, that he'll be just smashing at the debutante ball in a tiara, his dress by Teri Jon, and of course sensible pumps his being a conservtard and all.
Acronym update — the official AP usage guide now lists LGBT&OMFUG as standard.
Please don't make Breitbart come out — if he was honest for even a moment, he'd turn into such an annoying flamer that all the gays would wish he was straight and all the liberals would wish he was a conservative. So he's perfect right where he is — annoying the world with lies and rattling his cerebellum to tiny little pieces with his insufferable personality and his cognitive dissonance.
Why is white-haired engineer Miles O'Brien in the same movie as Harry Potter?
LOL
Set the phasers on "stun."
Come and see the hypocrisy inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm bein' repressed!
Thank goodness this woman has been identified–now Good Patriotic Americans can picket her house and poison her budgie or something, for Freedom. (If she is harassed, of course, Breitbart will insist that it was done by leftists trying to make Good Patriotic Americans look bad.)
Riley, intrepid reporter and defender of truth, face to face with the sewer-breathed spawn of foulness.
Breitbart must have been fantasizing about Riley for a long time.
I'm a skeptic. I don't think it was Riley he was fantasizing about. I think the dry humping was for Liz's benefit. Andy got to be a sexy bully in front of lovely Liz, and imagines that she admired how he demonstrated that a Conservative can be frisky and unafraid to feign homoeroticism for a good purpose (humiliating someone). Just like the pep rally where the football players dress like cheerleaders and bounce their faux breasts for lulz.
The gay Breitbart is one layer deeper, slightly out of reach of his fantasies. Just like the football players caught together mid-fellatio on the away-game trip.
Like that movie, "Interception".
Alright, I'm busted. I've been dream-stealing and then dream-splicing gay porn and Burt Reynolds flicks for implantation into Andy's unconscious.
Hehe. You know, between Inception and Memento, it feels like every Christopher Nolan movie is an idea I had in my twenties, but wasn't talented/creative/motivated enough to turn into something marketable. The Nolan Brothers are stealing ideas out of my dreams!!
Uh, where is bigfart's left hand, young Riley?
You poor baby. You should call the EEOC or OSHA or somebody to complain about your working conditions, stat.
I'm still nervously awaiting the my lawsuit from Andrew after I tweeted that O'Keefe was part of his crew, which he tweeted he would do. I hope this obvious new impending lawsuit speeds up the lawsuit.
You guys always play this shit during pledge drive.
Can't make out the idiot's question in the clip; something or other about the FBI blahblahblah… was she maybe talking about J Edgar Hoover?
Well, I mean, if lincoln was gay, Breitbart has to be a flaming queen of GOP love:
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_d...
Maybe he should give an anal dentata to the ops?
Hey, I don't hear Breitbart denying it. Until I have clear videotaped evidence of Andrew Breitbart telling Sue Walton "I am not gay", it didn't happen. In fact, I will offer $100,000* to anyone who can produce an alternate videotape from this protest in which Breitbart can be heard clearly stating that he is 100% heterosexual. Until then I will continue to refer to him as a bloated cocksucker.**
*$100,000 to be payable in Ameros.
**I mean, there's definitely no doubt about the bloat.
Old fat man
Felching belching Breitbart
Smoking pole perhaps
Someone help me out here. I'm new at this haiku stuff.
Andrew Breitbart is
Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay
Gay gay gay gay gay
Here's a plan. We charter a yacht. (We can call it the "Layne-stir") And then we get intern Riley to invite Breitbart over with some clever ruse, like he wants to discuss an important story. And when Breitbart arrives the yacht stereo is playing "It's Raining Men", and Riley greets him wearing assless chaps. How could this not work? We may be able to borrow the assless chaps from Jim Newell.
I believe you're forgetting the dildos and the huge jar of condoms (no Marvin Gaye though – too cliche)
"DO YOU F * * CKING LIKE IT?!"
No, sir, I do not F * * KING LIKE IT…I do not F * * KING LIKE IT one F * * KING BIT!
(Just F * * KING KIDDING, homie! F * * CKING CALL ME, you SEXY F * * KING MARTIN LUTHER F * * KING KING, JR.-looking MOTHERF * * KER, you!!)
You sick freak.
Is that Breitbart's voice or one of his boys?
Psychological counseling, or do Wonkett Operatives have to wait until Obamacare kicks in?
Riley looks like Breitbart is checking him for a hernia with a cold hand.
These sort of mountain out a molehill half-assed accusations work because Democrats, unlike Breitbart, have an overdeveloped sense of shame. Just ask Shirley Sherrod.
Shirley WHO?
You jest?
Indeed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A5t5_O8hdA
I thought Tea Baggers hated Big Government?
I enjoyed the equating of a little-known local Democratic operative yelling "I think he's gay!" to US Senator Larry Craig's solicitation for oral services in an airport bathroom. Yep, exactly the same thing.
That said, the Dems look like shite here. WTF's the point of protesting Breitbart? What a waste of time and money.
From some of the comments on Breitbart's website, it certainly seems to have kicked the Tea Bagger persecution complex into high gear.
Exactly – why give them ammunition, especially if it accomplishes nothing? Two dumbs don't make an intellectual.
bigcloset.com
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, right? Unless it's a sledgehammer you can use to bash those you otherwise irrationally hate.
Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay. Based on this comment and others, I think there are many concepts you fail to fully grasp. For example:
"I guess it's only stigmatic to be gay if you're Conservative and, of course, because they can't violate standards they don't have, hypocrisy is never an issue."
It's only disgraceful to be outspokenly against something whilst secretly embracing that something. While there are always exceptions, the stereotype of conservatives, the GOP and Tea Partiers being anti-gay while liberals and Democrats are not isn't a fallacy. Are you going to claim otherwise? If it is true then a secretly gay conservative (even one not outspoken in his or her anti-gay views) is going to be more ethically compromised than a closeted liberal. Sometimes much more and we see these stories on a regular basis.
But since this is a failing of current mainstream conservatism that is hard to stomach and justify, it is probably easier to spin up some hyperbole. You can be intellectually lazy and brush it off because those Dems don't have any standards to fail.
As usual, your Regressive basic premise is wrong so everything that follows is also wrong. I'm not a Republican or a Tea Partier–you're own prejudices (bigotry) are on display. I'm just an adult.
While that would be my guess, nothing I wrote is dependent on your being a Republican or a Tea Party member. Again, you fail to comprehend.
An anagram for "Andrew Breitbart" is "Warrant Bed Biter." WATCH OUT, RILEY!
Second Amendment remedies, yes.
So is that why Breitbart's little flying monkey(s) keeps coming over here to go full retard on days old threads?
Unless the multiple account holder is Breitbart. Which would explain some of the impotent rage and having nothing better to do than troll here.
It IS still October 25, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo
Oh, I'm sure Breitbart has much better things to do. Why, he's probably drunk-dialing Riley as we speak, apologizing for the rough treatment and promising to slather his fist in Crisco next time.
Or posting random nonsense and a Youtube link to a 4-5 day old thread like a certain someone that clearly took offense at pointing out their goofiness.
Now they just need to get on their other accounts and/or get their fellow flying monkeys to gush over how great they are, rinse, repeat, etc.
"Or posting random nonsense and a Youtube link to a 4-5 day old thread"
I repeat, Genius: It IS still October 25, right? Y'know, the day this "story" was posted? You wanna talk about flying monkeys? You get flying monkeys. And I don't need multiple accounts to smack your skanky ass around. Good night. Oh yeah….kiss my ass.
So says the one posting on the thread from the 21st a few hours ago in the exact same format I pointed out.
http://wonkette.com/427301/barack-obama-sings-abo...
And I did not even need to dress like a pimp and doctor some video to show I am correct.
Show us on the doll where he touched you.
I miss the days when every one of Riley's posts had a reference to finger banging
Vincent D'onofrio IS Andrew Breitbart and Daniel Radcliffe as Riley Waggaman in The Crying Game 2
I'd pay hard currency to watch Riley top either James O'Keefe or Breitbart. And Riley can keep the change + moar bux$, 'cuz they'd both pay for the pleasure. Just tape the begging part.
AB is protesting to much. He's hiding. I am surprised that Riley didn't understand that AB cannot say anything until Obama gives the order to Ask and Tell. Right now, AB is under the DADT obligation. That's why he became so hostile so quickly. He can't get bounced out of the military now, all his friends would be upset.
That grope entitles the lad to make the GOP's annual county-level medium-rare chicken dinner circuit as a keynote speaker.
As long as Breitbart continues to be a dick, I will continue to post this link: http://www.andrewbreitbart.net/
Also, Riley, it is better to get counseling early on. The first step to recovery is confronting the abuse.
Breitbart has that "I can't support myself on my legs" look. I'd guess the guy's breath smelled like a refinery and Riley is trying to get some air to breathe. I think the next five minutes for Breitbart was played in "Team America".
LGBTBBQ = Likes Girls, But Touches Boys (at) Barbecues.
I don't expect every bit of my snark to be a hit. But when one of my comments gets Thumbs Down Syndrome, it makes me sad.
So I agree. Please think of the e-egos.
I was wondering why the comment box smells like ammonia.
Jeebus but the poopyheads get testy when they misunderstand something someone says, don't they? Settle down, Francis.
Let…me…be…clear. Kiss my ass.
Misunderstand? No, they were outright being dishonest.
Clearly, facts do not matter to GreasyRabbit75. It still does not change the fact that they know I am right as I actually backed up my point with facts and all they can manage to do is cry about it. For someone bragging over at Breitbart's cesspool about coming over here to act stupid merely for the sake of it, one would think they would have the decency to not cry when called on the very behavior they were gloating about pulling here.
It speaks volumes about the modern conservative "movement" when this is dressing up like a pimp and editing videos or trolling websites is seen as some sort of intellectual triumph.
The potty mouth makes baby Jeebus cry.
I bet family get-togethers with Greasy Jackass must just be a delight to attend.
When this batch of trolls first appeared I called one of them on one of his rants with a looooooong post containing easily verifiable facts I had found in five minutes with the Google. His response was to take one comment (out of about five paragraphs) and call me an idiot and a liar. Not a word about the other stuff, which was mostly a refutation of a bunch of Glenn Beck's smears. That was when I decided on the most minimal engagement. As the wise Owl said, to poopyhead or poopyhead not, there is no try.
Professor Picklepuss, your OPINION of the people that Jackass Obama surrounds himself with may not be the same as my OPINION, so I said, in the original post that you responded to, something like "look at their actions".
If you tax something, you get less of it. If you subsidize something, you get more of it. Why do progressives want to tax prosperity and subsidize poverty? Is it because you believe in "From each, according to his means, to each according to his needs"? Insect mentality.
And you're still an idiot and a liar.
And where is that moron "user of parrots" ?
"Squawk, poopyhead poopyhead, squawk !!!!"
'Twas not opinion. You said look at their actions; I gave you a list of actions that Van Jones and Ron Bloom have undertaken in their careers to monitor police brutality and save steelworker jobs in America, among other things. I also suggested you look up Anita Dunn's entire speech before you go off half-cocked about her claiming Mao as her favorite philosopher. Context is always important.
If you want to talk about actions during the Obama administration, I'm afraid you would have to give me an actual example to which you object. Let me preempt you on one possibility: Ron Bloom worked on the auto industry bailout, yes. But throwing an assload of money into an industry to keep the businesses from declaring bankruptcy and save a couple of hundred thousand American jobs is NOT the same as nationalizing said industry, unless you are really loosening the traditional definition of socialism (which the right wing has been doing for years, but that does not make it correct.)
By the way, the "from each" phrase was adapted from the New Testament, that well-known official book of the Christianity I keep hearing our nation was founded under. It's in Acts, I believe — not the exact phrase, but some similar sentiment that inspired Marx. Again, Google: it's not just for finding bukkake porn!
I do have one opinion here: your "tax-subsidize" construction is a little too black and white, particularly when talking not about poverty and prosperity but specific goods and services. But that's probably a whole other conversation and I've had enough of conversing with someone whose answer to everything seems to be "progressives have an insect mentality!"
Good luck in the dystopian future!
GM would have more than likely survived bankruptcy, the bailout was for the union, a union that has become self-serving and is in bed with the government. Oh, that's right, you don't know what that means. Idiot.
Progressivism IS insect mentality, and all your pissing and moaning to the contrary doesn't change the fact.
I make my own luck, and the future will soon (one week) begin to turn bright. It'll take awhile to root out all the termites, but we'll git'er done.
You are just TOO CUTE!! You're like a kitten with its head stuck in a glass jar: adorable and funny and a little sad and in need of help all at the same time.
(Unless Randians ruled the world, in which case I might say "Screw you, stupid kitten! You think you deserve my help when you're the one who was too stupid too avoid getting your head stuck in a jar? You're SOL, stupid kitten!" But I digress.)
Anyway, let's just correct one thing: GM has indeed survived bankruptcy, which it declared in June 2009. That's the point of Chapter 11: wipe out some debts, liquify some assets, re-organize, get back on your feet. Let's be clear on the timeline too: in December of 2008 W approved $14 billion in bailout money. In March of 2009, after Obama was inaugurated, GM was still begging for money, and he said no, not until you come up with a business plan for building your company back up, and you have sixty days to come up with this plan because the American taxpayers are not just going to throw money at you and let you do what you want. So sixty days later, the plan became to file for Chapter 11.
Google: not just for viewing German scheisse videos!
Also to be clear, it was the president of GM, not the head of any unions, who went to D.C. to beg for money. The company and the unions are tied so tightly together that perhaps you can't say you are bailing out one and not the other. Now if you wanted to be intellectually honest you would say that the company wanting billions of taxpayer dollars with no oversight or accountability from the people giving them that money is the height of self-serving. I suspect, however, that you are going to be too busy getting pissed off at anything anyone around here ever says to contemplate intellectual honesty. In fact, I'm guessing you're just generally one of those people who is pretty pissed off all the time and kind of addicted to the rush you get of ranting against anything you perceive as inferior. The good news is, it's a free country so you are free to pop an aneurysm anytime. I'm sure it will be worth it.
Now it's entirely possible GM would have filed for Chapter 11 no matter who was president — W himself said in December that that was the way they were headed. Nevertheless, the fact remains: money and action by both administrations got spared GM, got them into bankruptcy court (where the unions were forced by a bankruptcy judge to accept some less-than-ideal settlement terms) and kept the company going, saving a bunch of American jobs while they were at it. Yes, many of them were union jobs. Some of them were not, and the execs who got fired (like Waggoner, the CEO) got multi-million dollar golden parachutes. Those union guys? They would have gotten what, a couple of months severance before filing for unemployment? Which of course would have been paid by the taxpayers.
Whew! It is exhausting correcting the record. Do you think you could start fact-checking yourself now? Google is easy to use, and I've got some other stuff I need to do this afternoon. Thanks! Come back and vomit incoherently on the wonketts anytime!
Yeah, yeah, too big to fail. The same philosophy that you put into that long winded post. Cut to the chase, Picklepuss, it was a bailout of the union, the same union that got GM into trouble in the first place.
When you start sticking greasy fingers into the economic pie, you screw things up. Doesn't matter whether you have a D or an R after your name. Chapter one in any economics book (except, perhaps, in one written by that idiot Paul Krugman) tells how outside influences muck up the deal.
Why is there a shortage of low income housing in NYC? Why does the unemployment rate for young and unskilled workers go up whenever the minimum wage is increased?
Making people dependent on government is not compassionate. Forced charity is not charitable.
And to you, as well!
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