Charles Krauthammer has known his share of neurologists, and he is certain this Obama fellow is not one of them. Obama thinks the country is not listening to reason in its brain right now, Krauthammer says, because the people are scared. But Krauthammer knows this is a bunch of crap. Who in America is scared? Have you seen the Teabaggers? They are certainly not afraid of anything. Krauthammer has a better explanation, he says, because apparently he is the licensed brain doctor. Americans are all conservative, even though Obama thinks some of them aren’t! And also this: “The peasants have seen the future — Greece and France — and concluded that it does not work.” Krauthammer will now lead us in singing some selections from Les Miserables.
I have a better explanation. Better because it adheres to the ultimate scientific principle, Occam’s Razor, by which the preferred explanation for any phenomenon is the one with the most economy and simplicity. And there is nothing simpler than the Gallup findings on the ideological inclinations of the American people. Conservative: 42 percent. Moderate: 35 percent. Liberal: 20 percent.
Oh, that’s silly, this country was right-wing all along, as evidenced by the fact that relatively few people want to call themselves “liberal” when some annoying pollster calls them up on the phone when they’re having dinner.
Having seen this display of what can only be called decadence, Obama’s perfectly wired electorate says no, not us, not here. The peasants have seen the future — Greece and France — and concluded that it does not work. Hence their opposition to Obama’s proudly transformational New Foundation agenda. Their logic is impeccable: Only the most blinkered intellectual could be attempting to introduce social democracy to America precisely when the world’s foremost exemplar of that model — Europe — is in chaotic meltdown.
Haha, yes, the “peasants” of the United States pay very close attention to world news. They are crying out in the streets in their thick cockney accents, pleading with Barack Obama not to give them any social benefits. “Oy! I don’t want me children given that barmy health care if they get sick! I want them to eat their gruel and shut up and die sweepin’ the chimineys like all me brothers and sisters did, ya wankers.”
Everyone is secretly conservative, and they are telling us this all the time.
And it isn’t as if this political message is new. It had already been sent in the last year with clarion clarity in the elections in Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts where independents — the swing voters without ideological attachment one way or the other — split 2-to-1, 2-to-1 and 3-to-1, respectively, against the Democrats.
So what were they saying when they overwhelmingly voted for Democrats, very recently? That they loved liberalism and Europe? But you said everybody’s so conservative, Krauthammer! Does America really suddenly change its whole ideology as soon as it “sees” economic problems or a single political protest in Europe? Yes, the peasants are constantly asking the town crier for the latest dispatch from the Olde Worlde, but does it really inform their entire opinion on politics on the towne greene and in the royal Districte of Columbia, which is a two-week carriage ride away?
A young peasant boy like Krauthammer can dream, at least.
Don’t get caught up with those pickpockets, Krautty! THIS CONSERVATIVE NATION WILL KILL ALL THE MUSLIMS YET, IF IT JUST BELIEVES IN ITSELF! [WP]
{ 260 comments }
When will he pass the torch to his young son, Kim Yun Krauthammer?
If I were a coarse peasant, I would say somebody should roll this smug turd off a cliff. But I'm not, so I won't.
Or, Charlie could take a long walk on a very short pier.
The Chuckster don't walk so much these days, but we could break his wheelchair brake and give him a healthy putsch.
"Or, Charlie could take a long walk on a very short pier"
Then he'd be without peer.
Maybe it would 'Peer 'Gynt.
Yes but in order to dunk chuckles you'd need wheelchair access…blar, avast ye matey! Ye will WHEEL the plank! I like the sound of that, actually…
The peasants are revolting!!!
Krauthammer: They certainly are.
I used to dig that painting, but now I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I would LOVE to be exiled to France.
You should be….you are certainly of no use to America.
If Sarah Palin looked like Susan Boyle, she'd be waiting tables in a Fairbanks Denny's with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.
I've been to the Bitchin' Kitchen in Anchorage — that's Country Kitchen to anybody but me — & all the waitresses were either Inuit or black. Not one smug, chain-smoking, white-trashy bitch to be found anywhere.
So, what I'm saying, maybe not. & I'll go further: if Palin hadn't gone to college, she'd prolly be a stripper or something.
I'm sure she would be a waitress also too.
She'd be standing in the doorway of a beat up old trailer with a Marlboro hanging from her lips, cussing out the state trooper who came to arrest one or more of her ungrateful kids…again.
Tell me again why the Republicans — cough, Lynne Cheney, cough — hate Eminem. I swear, 8 Mile demonstrated better family values than Palin. & Marshall's child-rearing skill is not too shabby either. (Certainly, I don't expect Hailey to be pulling a Bristol in a few years.)
"Tell me again why the Republicans…hate Eminem."
That's easy!
It's cuz there's several letter "m's" and an "n" in communism – and in Eminem!
OMG… what if she looked like Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum!!! Or Pamela Geller fer Christ's SAKE!!!!!!!! EEWWWWwwwwwwwwww….
Frankly I find Susan Boyle much more attractive. Ie. I don't find either the least bit attractive but for different reasons.
Jack, that's not where his finger is and you know it.
Surprise, surprise, surprise! That's not his finger, either!
And everybody knows Occam's Razor and the Gallup Poll go hand-in-hand as far as scientific shit is concerned.
Has he bothered to >>define<< his terms? That, too, is essential in science and logic. Here are my definitions: Conservatives (in the US) are crooks who want to own slaves again. Liberals are people who decline to be enslaved by conservacrooks. Moderates: People who don't want to waste time arguing politics, certainly not with Krapptauer.
After 46 years of "Conservatives" casting Liberals as enemies of America (if you start counting from the Goldwater campaign), it's amazing that anyone would self-identify as one. Oh yeah, did the Krautster mention the unscientific nature of such polls, what with self-selection bias and all that statisticky stuff?
How does Occam's Razor work out when you apply it to climate change denial or supply-side economics? Not so well, Dr. Krauthammer.
Occam's Razor do kind cut both ways… http://www.guardian.co.uk/discussion/comment-perm...
Regarding using polls as evidence of anything, I wouldn't think that writers of his supposed caliber would need to resort to ad populum arguments under any circumstances, but, well…there it is.
If he weren't so intellectually honest, I'd be reasonably certain he'll waste no time reverting back to a hard, logical "polls don't matter" stance whenever a poll is produced that he can't manipulate into supporting whatever position he's pushing.
And were I not opposed to ad hominem attacks, I'd just call him a "pompous shithead" and be done with it.
To avoid the appearance of an ad hominem attack, just call him a pompous poopyhead, instead.
Yeah! We should take all those blinkered intellectuals and send them to the guillotine! Then, we can lay a new, conservative foundation of liberty, fraternity, and brotherhood!!
Wait, what? They did that in France?? Fuck that – let's just have a tea party!
Nah, send'em to the countryside to shovel shit. Krapptauer could learn a lot from the real peasants!
France? How about Russia, China, Cambodia, the GOP… oh.
Maybe you don't always agree with his ideology; I know I don't. But even I have to admit that Charlie Krauthammer is a stand-up guy, in every sense of the term.
Biden?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2mzbuRgnI4
Sheer genius! Ha ha ha ha ha!
That asshole, I wish some tragedy would befall him, like, he should dive into a shallow pool, break his fucking neck, and be crippled for life, the prick rat-bastard.
Doing something like that gives you confidence in his political wisdom too, doesn't it?
Well those from the shallow pool do like what he says.
Wouldn't a real conservative look before he leapt?
That's how it happened? I thought he had Multiple Sclerosis.
If that's not true, then the reporting on Krauthammer's injury is another LAMESTREAM MEDIA snow-job. I bet they were covering for their buddy's being drunk/on coke with an underage boy-hooker.
I heard that he broke it trying to give himself a blowjob while bending over backwards.
Even more waxing with the Occam Method: voters are fickle.
Do they lean conservative, personally? Maybe. But, mostly, they want what they want, now. & if they don't get it, let's change clothes.
… Oh my God. Jay-Z & the Neptunes predicted the TEAvolution seven years ago, on the Black Album.
I don't want a fickle, I just want to ride on my tax cut.
Arlo?
That's funny. I can easily call these things "worker's rights" and "health care," to name a couple.
Ancient Rome under Nero had all kinds of regulating bodies — the Orgiastic Safety and Health Administration, the VA (Vomitorium Administration), the SEC (Slaves and Eunuchs Commission), etc.
If you knew how hard it was to get cum stains off of a mosaic, you'd understand why the Romans had to have such heavily regulated orgies.
Those damned Ionic capitals are the worst. So I hear.
Yep, people don't refer to themselves as liberal that much because they're all conservatives, and not because the media has spent the past forty or so years demonizing the term liberal; that's it.
And I hate to break to the pseudo-intellectual ass, but most of Europe isn't exactly in meltdown; they're weathering the recession much better than us because of the decent level of human services they have, and the fucked parts are countries like Greece and Ireland which don't have much of a safety net, and which the German-led EU is forcing not to use deficit spending which would fix things.
As far as people identifying themselves as conservatives, there's another thing that inflates the numbers: there are social conservatives (who believe the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments and the LORD should be invoked at every turn) and there are fiscal conservatives, who used to believe that you should pay for things now rather than later. Anyway, when asked, I'm betting many fiscal conservatives say they're conservative even if they're socially liberal. But hell, if this conflation of views gives people like Krauthammer the idea that there's going to be widespread revolt at the ballot box, I'm all for it — especially if it leads to bitter recriminations and cries of betrayal and the vain search for excuses on November third.
Now, the fiscal conservatives believe in no deficits right now, and have since January 20, 2009; just like they did from 1993 to 2001 and 1977 to 1981. Just not the times in between.
Don't forget the tax cuts — whether in concert with lower spending or not, tax cuts are always good and right. How that would square with the old pay-as-you-go conservatism (the one the Democrats now practice in Congress) I have no idea.
NO FAIR USING FACTS!!!!
Reagan proved deficts don't matter–remember?
Deficts do matter!
Aren't the people in France and the UK protesting the speed with which austerity measures are being implemented? And if the people here in Obama's America are saying "no thank you" to the French way, then are they saying we should go slower in implementing any austerity measures? Or not implement austerity measures at all? Because less austerity = more spending, and I thought all the teatards were opposed to more spending? Oh, I've made myself cross-eyed.
I'm going to go with Ocaam's Razor as well and suggest the simplest explanation for this column is that Krauthammer does not know what he is talking about. Which would pretty much explain every Krauthammer column.
The simplest explanation is that he doesn't CARE what he is talking about, he just cares about the money gets for spewing pseudo-intellectual drivel to tickle the asses of the Plutarchs who own and run this country.
Thanks for mentioning Ireland, the Greece of the north but with a more disastrous economy. Hmmmm . . . .what do they have in common? No national health care, for one thing.
And anyone notice that dicks like Kraut never talk about Ireland? The country that the likes of John McCain used to tout as truly "business friendly" and therefore with a tiger economy. Oops. Also, they never mention that the Europeans are dealing with the recession our nation drop kicked over the goal post by cutting spending AND raising taxes?
He's a dick. Plus he was on "Inside Washington" going gay for poor Juan Williams.
"he was on "Inside Washington" going gay for poor Juan Williams"
Good thing Juan can probably outrun him.
Krauthammer's Razor apparently is: the preferred explanation for any phenomenon is the one he finds most convenient. Funny…that's the same one Brooks and Will use.
Oh Chuck. You are a lost soul. If only saying your fantasies out loud made them come true, heh?
Even you could become the 'king" if only your wet dream world was real.
BTW, Chuck, they make medication for your issues.
He is amazing to me. Does he not know that the Greek economy was run almost entirely according to neo-liberal (read:trickle down) economic theory, or does he think his readership is just that stupid? And how is France's economy in a "melt-down", exactly? And by the way, what's wrong with the simple, clear gloss on ockham's razor: "The simplest explanation to a problem is usually the correct one"? You are paraphrasing a mathematical theory anyway, asshat, what with the tormented syntax? "The preferred explanation for any phenomenon" …Jesus wept!
He needs a good punching, wheelchair or no.
You don't actually expect him to look up the things he's writing about, do you? 'Cause that's for intellectual elites.
I thought he was the intellectual elite on that side. He and Jonah Goldberg.
I crack myself up.
Jonah Goldberg – now that's a funny joke right there.
He thinks is readership is just that stupid.
I am not sure that is all that unreasonable considering it is the "keep the gubbermint out of mah social security" crowd.
Greece is in Europe, which all good Republicans know is a monolithic continent where all nations follow the same socialistic policies which they hate.
Sort of like "Africa," which most Americans in red states regard as one huge country run by corrupt, genocidically-inclined primitives. Oh, except for Kenya which, as Barry's birthplace, is either somewhere on Mars or is one of Hell's exurbs.
They might know about Nigeria, 'cause now you can get your linebackers and power forwards direct instead of breeding them over here.
Christian Okoye still haunts my dreams.
The teabaggers think Mexico starts at the border with California and goes all the way down to Tierra del Fuego. How do you expect them to question Krauthammer over Greece and the tax at your own discretion system they run?
I wonder how the peasants would get their medi-scooters up and down the steps of the Paris subway?
They'd sue to get elevators installed.
Kind of like the disabled guy who sued a strip-club for not having wheelchair access to the Champagne Rooms, in violation of the ADA.
Equal access to lap dances is something I don't believe comes up in the ADA, though some republican rapscallion might have slipped it into the text of the bill at 2AM during negotiations. I wonder if, by extension they might have a case for an elevated scooter causeway on Bourbon Street in N'awlins for Mardi Gras for equal viewing opportunities of the boobies on display? Fertile ground for an ambitious lawyer and a disabled admirer of the female form on display.
"KrautHammer" would have been a fantastic name for a Golden Age Marvel Hero who battled the Nazis during the Big One, got frozen in Arctic ice, was unthawed in 2010, immediately recognized the Threat, and commenced to kicking Teabagger Ass.
Instead, we have this putz.
KrautenWeenieHammer
Peter Gabriel could update "Sledgehammer" for the film soundtrack.
My favorite issue was when Hellboy, Captain America and KrautHammer track the mysterious heads of the Tea Party to their lair in Texas.
I'd buy that comic!
Captain America actually did fight a teabagger militia a few months ago; comic-reading teabaggers were incensed.
Given the crossover of comic-book geeking & Ayn Rand reading among the comics readers I know, I would not be surprised by a large contingent of such geeks in the Tea Party.
SCUD is John Galt!
Ha! I lost interest in most comics at the onset of adulthood in the early 80s, but the one comic I love now is Hellboy. If you tried to explain the backstory of Hellboy to someone on the street, they'd assume you were a homeless lunatic off their meds.
I thought the ultimate scientific principle was repeatable, observable results which support a falsifiable theory? Like, "the moon is made of green cheese" is the simplest explanation for the moon, so if Occams razor were the ultimate scientific principle, this would be established, right? thunder, is god playing nine-pins, according to Occams Razor, get out of here with that complicated "static electricity" shit, like hell, I say.
That's what you get for depending on medieval scholasticism for your rhetoric.
Those are pretty perky breasts on such an old guy, Say… has he had some Obamacare breast enhancement surgery?
Those are French breasts, I believe.
And that's why the French live longer!
I promised myself I was NOT going to spend my Friday night thinking about Charles Krauthammer's fucking tits. Oh, shit. I just did. THANKS A LOT WONKETTE!
Or, in sum: When so much of the world is going our way, why should we be going their way?
If that sounds familiar it's because that was George H. W. Bush's tagline about Bill Clinton back in 1992, when the commie states of Europe were his example, laden with the subtlety that Clinton was obviously some kinda commie himself.
Then again maybe it's more complicated than that, since a retirement age of 62 and universal healthcare would make most Americans' lives better, and since the economic chaos of which Krauthammer speaks was caused not by socialism, but by the huge housing securities bubble created in the United States — and made worse in Greece by accounting gimmicks that hid their debt, and which they were coached on by the same geniuses who helped Enron cook its books.
Not that I'm saying Krauthammer's full of shit — but when one invokes Occam's Razor and then proceeds to a vast oversimplification — oh wait — that's the exact definition of being full of shit. So yeah, he's full of shit.
Oh that Gallup poll? Yeah, he leaves out that the wording of the question to determine ideology. It read: "Are you willing, under penalty of death by flaming tire wrapped around your neck, to suck Charles Krauthammer's dick to completion?" Yes=conservative, Maybe=libertarian centrist moderate attention whore, No=liberal blog comment poster
The thing about Teabaggers is, if you look hard at their moron gatherings, you will always see, scattered among the misspelled signs bearing threats to the President, and the Hostess product wrappers, well-worn copies of macroeconomic journals and elaborate prepublication studies of EU nations' fiscal and monetary policies — not infrequently in the original Greek and French.
If 20% of the people who still have land lines AND will take the time to answer inane questions from pollsters self-identify as liberals, I think not just David Vitter but the entire GOP ought to be shitting in their pants.
True, but the GOP seems to specialize in shitting in other peoples' pants and then yelling at them about what a mess they made.
Where's Walter Sobchak when you really need him?
He doesn't roll on Shabbas, sorry.
It must really suck being handicapped as badly as Krauthammer.
And not being able to walk on top of that.
Ta. Da. Rimshot, etc.
The Clarion Clarity Clan.
On the positive side, Charlie boy has never been right about anything in his life – so this would be a good time to play the election odds in Vegas.
show us your tits, chuckie.
good, now show us your dick.
what, it's gone? what'd you do with it? you don't know? well, chuckie, you'd better go find it, and don't come back until you have it in hand.
He can't. He was playing with Occam's Razor which slipped and cut it off.
He did not notice at the time, because of the severed spinal column.
Just follow the yellow catheter line! Follow the, Follow the, Follow the, Follow the, Follow the yellow catheter line! We're off to find the whizzer, The Withered Whizzer of Kraut!
We represent the Journalist Guild, The Journalist Guild, The Journalist Guild, and on behalf of the Journalist Guild: We wish to welcome you to DouchebagLand!
If Charles Krauthammer were on fire, I wouldn't piss him out with Ann Coulter's dick.
Only the most blinkered intellectual could be attempting to introduce social democracy to America precisely when the world’s foremost exemplar of that model — Europe — is in chaotic meltdown
And only the most drunken gimp could be attempting to pretend that citizens of dumbfuckistan act rationally and in their own best interests.
The only reason some European countries are in trouble is because they tried to be more American.
Krauthammer freedom boobs will haunt me this eve.
Oh Chuck, most of the dipshit "peasants" in this country couldnt even find France and this "Greece" you speak of on a map, let alone have any transitive politicaleconomic forethought.
Id tell you to go suck balls, but I assume you already are.
And soon we'll all be conservatives and Charles Krauthammer will known as the voice of reason and the peasants will do nothing but cower in their hovels to try to avoid the relentless advance of disease and cover their ears as the cart slowly wheels by, the crier calling "Bring out your dead, bring out your dead!"
How can you bring Haiti into this – my Google says it isn't anywhere near this "Greece" of which you speak….?
His reasoning about Greek financial crisis affecting U.S. voters would be more convincing if polling at the time showed a change in the general downward slope of Obama's approval rating. The French thing is too soon to look for the same effect, but I suspect we won't see it there either.
Someday China will lay down some conditions for further lending and we'll be saying "those bastards can't tell us what to do" and wondering why everything got so expensive at Wal-Mart.
China is a civilization of gamblers who improvise at the last minute, so buying up US treasury notes will probably turn out to have been a bad idea.
Real Chinese working people and peasants hoard silver trade dollars and know how to raise their own food.
And then we'll blame it on WalMart going green.
Or worse, the Chinese workers will want some social democracy for themselves, in the form of decent pay and safer working conditions, causing the price of leaded kiddie toys to skyrocket!
Would Krauthammer have us infer from Occam's Razor that swing voters are the Foucault's pendulum of our current political cycle, and that they would not remain so if their political party's Planck's constant?
Please feel free to discuss and/or mathturbate amongst yourselves…
The Planck length is the smallest length there is, the smallest at which the concept of distance has any meaning, and the Planck time is similarly the smallest time in which anything can happen. The teabaggers have given rise to a similar concept in biology, the Planck brain.
Charles Krauthammer likes to use an electron microscope to watch Teabaggers suck each other's Plancks while he jerks-off his limp lizard tongue using nothing more than his dry, cracked lips and some light dentures S&M action at the end.
And the Planck dick, unobservable without the Hubble telesope aimed directly at the seat of the Rascal using a curved-lens mirror to see around the belly.
Planck minds think alike, eh Harry?
But doesn't he change them by the act of observing them?
I'm so uncertain about this.
And apparently the shortest concepts in the world (i.e., the only ones possible in the Planck brain) are tax-cuts and racism.
The angle of the dangle times the square of the hair equals the heat of the meat (2nd Law of Thermodynamics)
I submit that the angle of the dangle equals the cube of the boob times the mass of the ass.
Nice one, "Pyfagoras", but does that law apply to "Fermatphrodites"?
HURDY DUR DURR BLRPPP!!
The equivalence principle states that Krauthammer's crap = Glen Beck's crap minus the funny voices.
Or is Krauthammer suggesting that we peasants, in the hypothetical land of Zeno, have been left in our charge Schrödinger's cat, who is having an out of body experience, thus prompting us to take said cat to Zeno's pair o' docs, both of whom, after performing Heimlich's Maneuver, would recommend that we feed the cat a steady diet of Murphy Slaw?
As the great Jim Brown once said to a coked-up Justine Bateman on the set of a Taiwanese porn film they were shooting: "The more you know, motherfucker."
Though often erroneously attributed to noted Nobel Prize-nominated genealogical social scientist Justine Bateman (née Mallory Keaton), it was actually controversial closeted Zen lesbian motorcycle repair metaphysicist Jo Polniaczek who first postulated the now-widely accepted ur-Lebowskian game theory that you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life.
Stated more simply: TOOTIE = mc hammer2
Ah, I recognize the classic Garrett Gambit. But don't most scholars hold this principle as merely derivative of her earlier work, which argues that "the world don't move to beat of just one drum" (empirically supported by the collaborative autoethnographic research of Krupa, Moon, and Muppet Animal), which is perhaps remembered as being best defended by Arnold Jackson in notorious debates with The Gooch when he summed up the principle in the pithy yet eternal "What you talkin' 'bout Heidegger?"
Being a former head of the class, it grows painful for me to say this, but I hereby concede the point and cry uncle, Belvedere. It's no small wonder why — when alf's said and done — you're the boss.
Cheers!
I would hate to think of us as being trapped in Krautie's Eco chamber.
It's a perfect narrative, an objective correlative expressing peasant rage. Sorta like trucknutz, but less sciency.
Foot on the throat, finger on the pulse. Whatever.
Hmmm. Usually those of Krauthammer's bent have their fingers around the throats of the peasants.
The peasants- the teabaggers- have seen France and Greece?? I do not think so- these morons don't understand their own economy or history- they sure as hell have no idea about other countries- if they even know they are countries-"Family Feud – name a foregin country- "Europe" really!!!
Jack, great graphic but you needs to Photoshop Delacroix's Lady Liberty. Krauthammer has bigger tits.
But does he have nipples?
And yet the American Economic Meltdown was caused by the very Conservatives he claims the people are. So, according to Krauthammer, the American People hate America, and want to destroy its economy.
But why, Chuck, why do American's hate America so?
Does Krauthammer use Occam's razor down there?
Sexy.
Oh for the love of Liberté, don't leave that picture up as the post going into the weekend…
Calling us peasants is supposed strengthen his position how exactly?
Yes, this is a bold new venture into honesty for the right wing elite. Actually calling us their peasants.
If the election results are good enough, Krauthammer may have a "Mein Fuehrer, I can walk!" moment.
Can somebody do that – photoshop Chuck into Dr. No….and then blingee it….Pleazzze…
In any nationwide survey, most people would describe themselves as "Middle Class."
Does that mean, having been shaved clean by Occam's Razor, the Middle Class represents 80% of the population of the United States?
Jim Hightower has some very interesting thoughts on this self-identification thing. Rather than ask a meaningless question (are you a conservative? a liberal?) ask specific questions about specific issues. Guess What!
The American people lean slightly left of center. Who knew?
WE DID!
Wait. My head is still spinning from trying to piece together CapnFatback and Extemporanus' posts so I'm totally confused now….
The peasants are my cock?!!
There is no left and right, only the mainstream and the FAR left.
For a moment I read your comment as going all Zen and I thought "Alvin Greene?"
Wait, so Cabbagehammer is saying that all Americans are Teabaggers who hate NOBAMA and want to elect Conservatives to get rid of Medicare, Social Security, and universal health care, because we don't want to end up like France and Greece, where people are rioting in the streets because they've been enacting stark austerity measures that have pushed unemployment even higher than here in US America?
Sounds just about coherent enough for Teabag logic, I'll give him that much.
Finally, somebody willing to call us what we are: peasants! Now that's some clarion clarity, and I guess a promotion from unReal Americans.
p.s. Great artwork, Wonkette!
In Krauty's world, "peasant" is a compliment. He would have referred to us as "serfs" or "villeins," but he was trying to be polite.
we think we're so clever and classless and free,
but we're still fucking peasants as far as he can see.
a charles krauthammer is something to be.
classic lennon…..you should be smacked in the fucking face for even daring to think you can twist his lyrics for your petty-ass jabs
Ockham's Razor is neither scientific nor mathematical. It is, essentially, aesthetic. Given two (or more) equally good explanations for some phenomena ("equally good" means the explanations make identical predictions that match the actual phenomena), old William suggests that the least complicated explanation is probably the correct one, or at least the prettiest.
The key point a lot of people overlook is that accuracy trumps simplicity. General Relativity is very much more complicated than Newtonian gravity, but it also correctly predicts things that Newtonian gravity gets wrong; so Occam's Razor is irrelevant in this case.
Actually, it's irrelevant almost all the time in "hard" science these days, because we have the ability to make measurements that can distinguish correct from incorrect theories, regardless of their relative complexity.
It's mostly misused now, in the form "The simplest explanation is the correct one", by people who are trying to persuade by over-simplifying.
Ah, fuck it.
True, but oversimplifying certainly beats trying to persuade by thumbs-downing people in a stupid internet karma system. Apparently a few of the Brietbots are still e-stalking the lot of us.
Occam's razor would suggest it's because they don't have girlfriends or families, because they're insufferable idiot twats, and either autistic or sociopaths, but either way incapable of understanding how human beings actually work. Case in point: this very thing that Cabbagehammer is claiming in the above article.
Can you state that a bit more simply?
To bring Cabbagehammer into agreement with Relativity, we needz to taze him with tensors to bring his manifestly errant manifold back into agreement with spacey-timez.
occam's razor cuts the crap. clearly krauthammer is misusing it. he should grab it by the handle, not the blade.
I appreciate your post, but beyond the aesthetic preference for the "simplest theory", there is also a pragmatic advantage. Given equal predictions, the simplest theory is less work to use, and therefore more practical. Thus, Newtonian theory is still used in cases where its predictions coincide with Relativity, within the margin of error.
Krauthammer, on the other hand, seems to believe in the "simpleton theory".
Note that he does NOT say anything about falsifiability!
Fucker should get polio along with his broken neck.
as should you.
Not content with butchering the field of science, Teabaggers are hard at work at "refutiating" the English language, until we reach the point that nobody sees any self-contradiction in the phrase "conservative revolution."
Shouldn't CK's head be on a pike, not atop Lady Libertie's lucious body?
only if fearless leader's is one pike over.
I'd like to snark on the ludicrosity of Greece and France being the future, but I'm too busy cockpunching Juan Williams in my mind today…
Its all very confusing, today we were told that we're not European enough by Duke and that we're too European by Krauthammer.
And we've seen too much "decadence"? This really does feel like a replay of the final days of the Weimar republic, just without any of the great art or music.
Yeah, I wondered about that too…us American "peasants" are suddenly the "decadent" ones, the ones losing jobs and homes, but not the ones paying $500 for a bottle of wine or flying around on Lear jets. No matter how they try to hide it the Republicans' disdain for their base always come through.
All we need is to be going around with a wheel barrel with mostly valueless dollars to buy a brick of bread. Maybe theses suckers need to feel what a real soul crushing dirt bowl depression feels like when the guys in power don't care. Maybe what these teabagging peasants need to be reduced to hobo-status selling themselves for hobo beans and a place at a burning trash can. Then we can exile in France and other points Europe as ex-patriots in their cafes reading of our former country's decline into a hellish neo-puritan, social Darwinist laboratory where people left there can't wait for Armageddon to deliver them. Teabaggers better bone up on their hobo signs. You want to know which house has good apple pie or like to serve you with a plate of hobo beans.
Re the painting: Is it me, or does the guy in the white shirt who's down in front (left) appear to be without pants–but wearing a blue sock? I'm sorry, it's the puerile shit that always gets my attention, not the substance.
In honor of the recently-passed Barbara Billingsley: "Jive ass cat ain't got no brains anyhow." And fuck Kunthammer, also too.
What happened to the beer can and chicken wings? I miss them.
Krauthammer's such a figurative lightning rod that I think he should actually become one. Put atop the Sears Tower with a wire up his bum.
Aren't French and Greek culture code words for the type of action shown in an 80s porn film? Someone confirm this with Clarence Thomas.
Fuckin' aye!
Don't forget to vote, my friends.
~ Carl Paladino
Charles Krauthammer was fingering a pheasant????
Those Conservatives are all kinky.
Perhaps those were the pleasant peasant pheasant-pluckers.
Clarion clarity? Adjective FAIL.
Mein Fuehrer, I can WALK!
Charlie "C.K." is a 60-year old Jewish psychiatrist. He was trained in an era steeped in Freud but aspiring to Einstein. Freudian thought is contrarian at heart. Opposites go together: Calvinism is libido in drag, etc. But science is straightforward. Facts is facts.
And so Dr. Charlie is now citing Occam's Razor. Keep is simple, stupid. Forty-two percent is scientifically and demonstrably greater than 20 percent. Ipso facto, quid erat demonstratum, e plurubus unum.
Arrogant little putz.
Let me see if I understand this…Dr. K is a trained medical doctor. Thus, the right loves his foreign policy advice (an area he has no formal education in), but abhors his views on biological science (i.e. abortion, evolution, and stem cell research….areas he is an actual expert in).
Yes, it makes perfect sense.
I'm not a bigot, but I sure get nervous when I see these people in wheelchairs, ever since that one time I got my toes rolled by that asshole ranting the fucking warmonger lingo and talking about "taking back 'Merica".
I don't know where Krauthammer has his finger…but I'm pretty sure I know where he has his thumb.
Exorcist stairs in G Town
~
On the serious side Chuckles here seems to be in a spiraling cycle where he must offer ever more ridiculous, bullshit explanations and claims to further simplify (yeah like we didn't figure you out 20 years ago Chuck, you're so mysterious) the immense holes in his ideology and therefore continuously perpetuate his hilarious classification as a "conservative intellectual" (yes like one could be all that bright and offer the same tired, stupid solutions and 36 chambers of blame the minority /and or intellectuals with that hilarious "liberal" catchall strawman that neocons have offered for why everything they believe in fails going on 40 years now). At this point this guy is a bit like your average pathological liar in that he must create more outlandish lies to prevent from ever having to confess he's a selfish, self centered jackass misanthrope who just really hates poor people, minorities and women. Charlie if he has any capacity whatsoever to self audit his ideology like actual intellectuals has realized he's full of bullshit and maybe that essential knowledge of what a useless postule he is drives his bitterness? Anyway Cripple Boy, you're so, so tired and full of shit, shut the fuck up now.
Inventing ever more outlandish lies rather than admit one is wrong is exactly what Occam's Razor is meant to discourage!
As Richard Widmark would giggle, "Le jour de gloire est arrive."
I know where Krautmallet's finger is- it's trying to poke some life into his numb,shriveled, teeny-tiny weenie. Is that why you're so hateful, Krautboy? So sorry, but the good news is: my dick works just fine, and I'm going on 70, fuckface! Have a nice day, I know I will.
Go, ttommy, Go.
And when we say Go, Chuckie, Go it just means he rolls a little faster and dives blindly into the buttsecks.
If it weren't for bleeding heart liberals the country wouldn't be so handicapped accessible, and Krauty wouldn't have so many places TO roll.
They're getting dumber. The right in America, I mean. They're demonstrably dumber. Leo Strauss would puke if he had the guts.
Has there been a responsible, intelligent Republican since the brilliant and very capable Tom McCall, who came one brush with cancer away from saving the world from the Reagan Revolution? I can't think of one.
I never heard of Tom McCall, but based on his Wikipedia entry, our country would be much better off if he had lived a much longer life. How did he keep the Republicans from kicking him out of the party?
The few intelligent ones are all brutally dishonest and evil, making tools of the dumb masses; think of the relationship between Cheney and Bush, typical of the right.
Indeed, it is as you say. I'm serious about McCall, though: the guy was legit *and* a Republican. Those don't coincide anymore and haven't for a long ass time.
& instead, Oregon got saddled with Bob Packwood.
(Seriously: just read the Wiki entry — I know, I know; the authenticity of the 'Pedia is debateable — & seems a stand-up guy, this Mc Call. Or seemed. Recalls my state's greatest senator: Gaylord Nelson. (Oh, & Proxmire? He was cool… But those Golden Fleece Awards, a little too obvious, & an harbinger of the Silver Sewer Awards of Liebermann & Bill Bennett. So, points, docked.))
I want someone to do side-by-side polling of these two questions:
Are you in favor of cutting entitlement spending to balance the federal budget?
Are you in favor of cutting social security and medicare to balance the federal budget?
Logically, the two questions would yield identical results…right?
Any pollster worth his salt (or even Luntz) would happily bet you that those statements would not yeild the same results. Wording matters hugely in these kinds of questions.
Thanks for clearing that up for me.
(I should have known not to post a sarcastically worded rhetorical question without expecting someone to actually answer it.)
1) Are you in favor of cutting that fat welfare queen's tubes?
2) Are you in favor of the government reclaiming your hoverround?
Identical results in….no…?
OT, former Wonkette Editor Jim Newell is writing about weather penises over at the Gawker. Can you imagine that Ginger Jim would rather be posting on weather penises at Gawker than here blogging about Ginni Thomas' and Chuckie Cabbagehammer's buttsechs?
I would guess the weather penis is about the size of Ginni Thomas' strap-on, and I'm sure she just
drivesdives right into the buttsecks with Chuckie and what's his name.Who's sorry now, Ginger Jim?
You know…he might have some messed up political ideas, but I have to say if that picture is accurate, he has a nice rack.
Off Topic, But I Have To Put This Somewhere:
Did you hear that Fox News is going to call Williams' new show . . .
:::wait for it::::
. . . "Uncle Juan's Cabin"?
(Thank you! Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! I'll be here all week! Two shows nightly! No cover! Try the veal, and be sure to tip your waitress!)
Look at you, with your 70 penis points.
Who'da thunkit?
~
You think YOU'RE appalled? Imagine how I feel: The approval of Liberal Communist Pinko SCUM.
It's as bad as if Benazir Bhutto wasn't Still DEAD!
Had Chuckles not taken that fateful dive and popped his spine he would be just another medical practitioner out there. Instead he wound up becoming a conservative voice for the ages. One small tragedy for a man, One giant shitstorm of sadness for mankind.
uncensored by controlled media
Neocon Charles Krauthammer
Israel First & Murder Muslims
"clarion clarity'? Fuck you, Krautbastard.
More like CK lowers his hammer on the fingers of peasants.
Wonkette! How could you fuck with Delacroix?!? My brain is scarred forever with this hideous Krauthammer juxtaposition. :'-(
Baudelaire would have agreed with Jack:
"Delacroix, lac de sang hanté des mauvais anges,"
Just substitute the Hammer of Krauts in for the mauvais anges and there you go.
Oh, for a hero like Richard Widmark now that we so desperately need him.
http://bit.ly/d156vv
♫ roll out the Cabbagehammer
we'll have a stairwell of fun ♫
That was a great movie, and I always liked Richard Widmark too.
And whatever the word for being simultaneously serious and snarky, that's what I'm being here.
Geez… I, too, get nervous when I see one of these guys in their corporate garb, sitting up front of me in an airplane, so near the pilots…
Occam's Razor is just medieval snark. The fact that right-wingers find that as "top science" is as laughable as their belief that "Creationism" is science. It's like saying "Murphy's Law" is real science ergo the Repukes will implode by election day.
PS – I don't recall seeing so many articles crowing about the election blowout by the Repugs, even before the Newt Gingrish-et-al ascendancy in the 90s. What if the Repugs don't gain the big seats they are all claiming? Perhaps, after all, the Americans will have second-thoughts in the voting booth about the Tea Party nutjobs….
It's an interesting question. The media early on fell in love with this "ZOMG Dems in big trouble" narrative and ran with it. And with the Republicans crowing, it starts creating this sense of inevitability. It's kind of how W and his people used to push narratives so that proposals became self-fulfilling prophecies.
And the GOP tends to crow. Remember when Scott Brown won his election and they crowed that that was the end of healthcare reform? Or they crowed about defeating cap and trade, even though all that happened is the EPA and the administration have continued rolling out environmental regulations that are somewhat onerous for businesses…in essence, all caps and no trade or tax.
Early voting has started and so far it seems a mixed bag: Dem turnout much stronger than Rep in some areas, and the reverse in others. So who knows? Of course if they don't get big gains the teatards will pull out the old ACORN-NBPP-election-fraud chestnut, demand investigations, send O'Keefe out with the video camera, etc. They're graceless in both victory and defeat.
Whine early, whine often…
Okay, but Murphy's Law is as real as Quantum Theory any day(s) of the week(s)…
With the concept of virtualism, it's as real as it needs to be.
The string theory community well understands that we must have not only a quantum theory of gravity, but also a quantum theory of Murphism.
Why do you think they call it M-Theory?
Because when you deep-fry it and coat in butter, Theory is Mmm mmm yummy on even the smallest of scales!
Right, idiot German Mallet doesn't seem to understand the what Occam's razor actually was about- particularly that there's a bit of an "all else being equal" clause lumped into the comment about parsimony. The simplest explanation isn't always the best one, if it a) ignores additional information rather than integrating it or b) if it's flat-out wrong or non-predictive. After all, "Space-Gandalf used magic to do it" is a much simpler explanation than the Big Bang Hypothesis, our understanding of how planetary formation happens, and, yes, the origins of life and its subsequent evolution. In fact, there's very few cases where "Space-Gandalf used magic to do it" isn't the most simple explanation: it's just that it's also, at best, a completely non-informative non-sequitur, and at worst, idiotic anti-scientific mythology.
You are so going to hell. I mean, uh, theoretically, you're, um… going to… Oo, squirrel!
Actually, I have nothing but sincere respect for a wide variety of sincerely-held religious beliefs, as long as those churches don't verge into the territory of being exploitive. In spite of what folks like Hitch and Dawkins say, religion has been a vehicle for positive human good at times, and insofar as it has a checkered past and present, that really reflects the bigotries, greed and failure of humans and their institutions, not of religion, per se.
I just also think that irrespective of religiousity, magical thinking is idiotic and counterproductive to both understanding and living in this world, so that's the point at which I employ the "Space-Gandalf" snark, since that basically is what people seem to picture so often.
You're a better man than me, mumbly joe. My disdain for organized religion is largely due to my refusal to separate man from organized religion the institution. I view organized religion, in contrast to spirituality, as simply a means by which one group subjugates another. Sometimes the results are enlightened engagement with the rest of humanity, other times it turns into unrepentantly dickish behavior.
I do admire people able to hold passionate beliefs in something, but I am more inclined to respect those whose passion is based on something arising from rational thought or enlightened principles than a simple belief in an omnipotent being whose wants and desires too conveniently match the head of that particular religious institution.
In '94, the internet was still AmericaOnline & Compuserve, there was no Fox News nor MSNBC, & CNN was competing, sort of, with late evenings on CNBC (when Geraldo & Charles Grodin were the big doings… so no competition, on issues, at all, really). Of course there was less obnoxious crowing by the GOP.
What logic does Charlie K. use when he looks in the mirror and concludes that he should be on TV? I'm glad he only appears on Fox and C-span.
He has the "momma fucked a turtle" look, not unlike Mitch McConnell.
* Krauthammer Has His Fingers On the
PulseThroats of 'the Peasants' *1 F1XX0R3D 1T 4 U!
I kept waiting for one of you Liberal Communist SCUM to bring this up, but I don't think ayone has yet:
Occam's Razor is NOT, in the usual sense, a "scientific principle." It's a LOGICAL "rule of thumb" that can be applied in scientific contexts, e.g.:
"In science, Occam’s razor is used as a heuristic (rule of thumb) to guide scientists in the development of theoretical models rather than as an arbiter between published models.In the scientific method, Occam's razor is not considered an irrefutable pri nciple of logic, and certainly not a scientific result."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor (footnotes omitted).
In short, Krauthammer is another liberal arts dodo misapplying scientific/engineering terms.
Which may explain his belief that the World Is Flat, etc.
Yes, and "simplicity" refers to the fewest number of unproven or unprovable postulates. A very complicated theorem with all of the parts proved is "simpler" than "God did it with his magic" every time something needs an explanation.
Chuckie Wheelchair just wishes the world was flat.
WHY DOES HE HATE AMERICAN FREE ENTERPRISE SO MUCH
Occam's Razor is useful in a debate. It is meant to keep someone from making their favorite conspiracy theory endlessly more complex, rather than just admitting that they are wrong.
I like the Popper Principle, the principle of falsifiability, too. Not perfect, but it does require you to ask yourself "what would convince me that my favorite conspiracy theory is wrong?" If the answer is "NOTHING," then your theory is not scientific, to say the least.
Probably, if truly applied to Kraptower's crapola, the Razor would slash it to ribbons, and the Popper Principle would pop a cap in Kraptower's ass.
It really comes down to applying logic and critical thinking. I blame Gene Roddenberry – he compartmentalized logic by giving it to the Vulcans and then had it always be the human emotions save the day. A generation has been raised believing logic is bad.
only if you are waiting at the bottom of the staircase for him to land on. and yes, it is a dick move. dick.
So, this Occam's Razor of which you speak suggests that the theorem with the lowest number of assumptions or postulates is likely correct. Applied here:
Krauthammer's theorem requires one to assume (at least) that the Gallup respondents (a) can define "liberal" and "conservative"; (b) define them in the same way he does; (c) understand what is happening in Greece and France; (d) understand it the same was he does (i.e., incorrectly); (e) draws the same conclusions as Krauthammer; etc., etc.
Obama's theorem requires one to assume that the electorate is ignorant and easily manipulated by Faux Nooz and the Koch Brothers' money.
I think we have a winner.
Who be you, Boojum, who are so Wise in the Ways of Science?
And in the same vein, there is an ad over at Breitfart FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA MEDS! I wish I were making it up, but that would be too far fetched. Know your target audience. For realz.
I'll tell you one thing, I feel like a peasant here. C'mon, Occam's razor and Cap'n Crunchneck for the weekend? Throw us a bone, a crumb, a piece of cake, oh Marie Wonkanette overlords.
Les paysans n’avaient pas de pain : Qu’ils mangent de la Breitbart.
Oh fuck it, I'll just go get my flu shot or go serf the net.
The trolls are apparently still active on the "Obama sings" thread if you're that bored, though I still recommend not feeding them.
Jeepus, are they ever still fapping over there. It's funny- I spent the weekend getting laid, and they seem to have spent their entire weekend congratulating each other on their casual racism, cold-war-relic paranoia, and complete ignorance of even remedial history or economics.
I guess what I'm saying is that both my weekend and theirs involved mutual masturbation, but at least mine didn't require the use of an internet message board as a marital aid.
I dig how the one was bragging about multiple accounts.
They have to keep it up; last one to come has to eat the doughnut.
I was really amused by all the back-slapping and the "how awesome are we" bonhomie. My eyes rolled so much the Richter scale might have picked it up.
I was really amused by all the back-slapping and the "how awesome are we" bonhomie.
Which of course, is made even more amusing by at least one of them being on multiple accounts telling themselves how wonderful they must be.
I draw the when it comes to commenting on people that are wheelchair bound, no matter how big of an asshole they are.
I draw the when it comes to commenting on people that are wheelchair bound, no matter how big of an asshole they are.
Uhm?
What's your position on the Rascal-bound?
I think your comment was a bit subtle for Wonkette. I gave you some thumb-lovin', anyway. After all, the pee rating is everything, nicht wahr?
Quitter. Where's that American can-do spirit, son? Come on!
very good,thanks. welcome to ( http://www.fashionstyle2.com )
OT: bass-player transvestite otakus for Meg Whitman! :
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/california-politi...
LOL
In the ninth circle of hell everyone must pay for Krauthammer articles.
In heaven the "angel soft edition" of the print Times is free but there is no toilet paper.
Yes!
(For god's sake: You don't expect me to read your drivel, do you?)
And on top of that, your explanation/definition – "Ockham's Razor is neither scientific nor mathematical. It is, essentially, aesthetic." — is incorrect, to the extent that the Razor is, reduced to its essence, based on probabilities.
Neilist
Managing Editor
Guns & Geeks Magazine
Huh…did we lose a war? Why is this Kraut writing for an American paper?
"the ultimate scientific principle, Occam’s Razor"
What about the Popper Principle? Falsifiability? Probably that shoots his prejudices full of holes.
Krauthammer looks like what the Teabag philosophy sounds like to my ears. And incidentally what shit smells like.
Kraphammer's Razor is defined as the law which lets one select the best hypothesis for generating the required number of words for a column, or lex verbosi.
The Tea turds seem to have a douche for every occasion. Krackheader seems to think he's the pseudo intellectual pretend thinking teabaggers pet talking douche….I guess.
I just get this irresistable urge to say 'douche' a lot when talking about teabaggers and their talking head buddies.
As Twiggy was heard to opine to Robert McNamara during an interval at the 1980 World Sumo Wrestling Championship, "As Alice is to Flo, you, sir, are the original, and I merely a spin-off."
Honestly, I think there's a case that even organized religion provides a manner of positive good, even a particular niche of positive good that's uncommon elsewhere. Human institutions are always as flawed as humans themselves, which means that you do get the unrepentant dickishness, but you also get certain types of charity, for example, that most other private institutions and certainly private individuals don't provide because they are are unwilling, ill-equipped, or both. I think it's honestly a wash at worst, but complicated by the fact that we're talking about a very, very old type of institution in organized religion, and indeed, one from which many of our other institutions -government, the academy, and so forth- were originally derived, all those thousands of years ago.
At any rate, my own faith is cobbled together from a couple of traditions, so I can understand a respect for disorganized faith, and I share Jefferson's aversion to the supernatural, as well as his view that that "Jesus" fellow seemed to have a couple of good ideas that have been badly misconstrued by most people since then, as well as having a general commitment to the idea that any faith based around compassion and fairness is generally going about things the right way. At the same time, though, I am very very suspicious of any worldview that gives undue weight to the notion of human rationality, because I honestly have taken enough psychology classes to be acutely aware that people aren't terribly rational, but simply learn to convince themselves that they are. And in particular, the patina of authority makes many ideas easier for irrational humans to accept, so I can kinda understand why the whole "God" concept is a useful one for convincing people not to be selfish dicks all the time, for example. So also, there's that.
/ramble
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say "you're great" and then the me in the mirror says "no – you're great!"
Comments on this entry are closed.