Charles Krauthammer Has His Finger On the Pulse of 'the Peasants'

Charles Krauthammer has known his share of neurologists, and he is certain this Obama fellow is not one of them. Obama thinks the country is not listening to reason in its brain right now, Krauthammer says, because the people are scared. But Krauthammer knows this is a bunch of crap. Who in America is scared? Have you seen the Teabaggers? They are certainly not afraid of anything . Krauthammer has a better explanation, he says, because apparently he is the licensed brain doctor. Americans are all conservative, even though Obama thinks some of them aren't! And also this: "The peasants have seen the future -- Greece and France -- and concluded that it does not work." Krauthammer will now lead us in singing some selections from Les Miserables .

I have a better explanation. Better because it adheres to the ultimate scientific principle, Occam's Razor, by which the preferred explanation for any phenomenon is the one with the most economy and simplicity. And there is nothing simpler than the Gallup findings on the ideological inclinations of the American people. Conservative: 42 percent. Moderate: 35 percent. Liberal: 20 percent.

Oh, that's silly, this country was right-wing all along, as evidenced by the fact that relatively few people want to call themselves "liberal" when some annoying pollster calls them up on the phone when they're having dinner.

Having seen this display of what can only be called decadence, Obama's perfectly wired electorate says no, not us, not here. The peasants have seen the future -- Greece and France -- and concluded that it does not work. Hence their opposition to Obama's proudly transformational New Foundation agenda. Their logic is impeccable: Only the most blinkered intellectual could be attempting to introduce social democracy to America precisely when the world's foremost exemplar of that model -- Europe -- is in chaotic meltdown.

Haha, yes, the "peasants" of the United States pay very close attention to world news. They are crying out in the streets in their thick cockney accents, pleading with Barack Obama not to give them any social benefits. "Oy! I don't want me children given that barmy health care if they get sick! I want them to eat their gruel and shut up and die sweepin' the chimineys like all me brothers and sisters did, ya wankers."

 Everyone is secretly conservative, and they are telling us this all the time.

And it isn't as if this political message is new. It had already been sent in the last year with clarion clarity in the elections in Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts where independents -- the swing voters without ideological attachment one way or the other -- split 2-to-1, 2-to-1 and 3-to-1, respectively, against the Democrats.

So what were they saying when they overwhelmingly voted for Democrats, very recently? That they loved liberalism and Europe? But you said everybody's so conservative, Krauthammer! Does America really suddenly change its whole ideology as soon as it "sees" economic problems or a single political protest in Europe? Yes, the peasants are constantly asking the town crier for the latest dispatch from the Olde Worlde, but does it really inform their entire opinion on politics on the towne greene and in the royal Districte of Columbia, which is a two-week carriage ride away?

A young peasant boy like Krauthammer can dream, at least.

Don't get caught up with those pickpockets, Krautty! THIS CONSERVATIVE NATION WILL KILL ALL THE MUSLIMS YET, IF IT JUST BELIEVES IN ITSELF! [ WP ]