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In a rare public appearance, former President George W. Bush reflected on his presidency and his life out of the spotlight, poked fun at himself, and plugged his upcoming book while speaking at a conference for a finance trade association in Chicago on Thursday. […]

The former president said his greatest failure in office was not passing Social Security reform.

Wait wait wait, he admitted doing something wrong (right) in office? Besides loving his country too much? This is a major step for him! It’s going to be depressing when he realizes how many more of these “failure” things he’s had in his life.

Also, Bush repeated the same exact jokes he did a couple days ago. So to answer his question, no, nobody thinks you can actually write now, Bush. [Chicago Tribune]

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  • problemwithcaring

    Zomg! Yes your biggest failue was leaving the poor, elderly and infirmed with a modicum of financial ability to take care of themselves.

    • iburl

      Yes, every night he is filled with regret that some old people can still afford basic food and medicine because he didn't give all their retirement money to the banksters. Poor dumb bastard.

    • transfatz

      The idea had massive negative traction.
      I remember thinking that he wanted to put social security into a bomb and then set it off. Couldn't be he had advance notice of the crash, could it?

  • edgydrifter

    He was thiiiiis close to batting 1.000 in the "fucking shit up" category. Then he fucked that up, too.

    • V572625694

      You get a green thumby for expressing it in terms Chimpy might understand.

    • LibSmacker

      You get a red thumby for being stupid.

  • Steverino247

    Every time I see the surgical scar on the left side of my younger son's head and think about the plastic plate just beneath it, I know W fucked up.

    • SayItWithWookies

      After Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza was deposed from office, he spent several years never leaving the walled compound (in Venezuela or somewhere like that) in which he lived. Then, during his first public outing, as his motorcade left the gates of his compound, he was bazookaed, his limo blown up and him with it into a thousand bloody chunks. Now there's a populace you don't want to cross.

      • kenlayisalive

        Proving you don't even need a second amendment to use second amendment remedies.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Yeah, Social Security is a bear.

      But seriously, there are two of you that will never forget Dubya's reign.

  • x111e7thst

    George George. So many many muslin browns still unbombed. Surely that is you greatest failure.

  • i'm glad he's making amends with the finance sector. they've suffered enough

  • JustPixelz

    "The former president said his greatest failure in office was not passing Social Security reform."

    OMFG. wait, acronym inadequate. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

    I don't want to trot out the list of monumental mistakes, fuck ups, disasters and tragedies that punctuate the Bush Epoch. It's too depressing — I think I have PBTSD, Post Bush Traumatic Stress Disorder. But just one bigger mistake than social security "reform".

    He should have supported his war efforts with some form of national sacrifice. An imported petroleum tariff would have been appropriate. Without that, only service members and their families were truly involved in the fight. The rest of us — me included — only bought yellow ribbon magnets or donated to the USO. I think a call to national sacrifice would have made people question its necessity and — I believe — prevented the war.

    • V572625694

      Cheap patriotism is the best kind. The Pat Tillman variety is a little more expensive.

  • SayItWithWookies

    "In terms of accomplishments, my biggest accomplishment is that I kept the country safe amid a real danger," he said.

    Well, except for that one time.

    And also the anthrax attacks after that. Not to mention the thousands of Americans killed by IEDs in a war zone that never should've been a war zone. Also, when the State Department's annual report on terrorism showed that it was increasing during Dubya's administration, you know how this shitfuck responded? By cancelling the report forever. Really. Fuck him and the miasmic cloud from which he emerged.

    • aguacatero

      Stop using that "memory" function — it just brings one down.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Stop nothing — I'm gonna raise enough money to carve that motherfucker's face on a mountainside and put all the things he's inflicted on this country right next to it. We need to remember that shit forever.

        • kenlayisalive

          Where do I send my donation?

        • Chet Kincaid

          Please, no. Native Americans have suffered enough. Concern Chet has an angry Ojibwe Ms. Kincaid.

        • LibSmacker

          And it will look like a roll call of honor after obama completely tanks the country.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I thought his major failing was not pardoning Scooter Libby. Poor Scooter, gone and forgotten.

    The 2 unfunded, unnecessary and un-win-able wars just slipped his mind, I guess.

    • V572625694

      Yeah, that Scooter guy sure got a raw deal. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about that.

    • JMPEsq

      Katrina and the economic collapse also.

      • SayItWithWookies

        You know how to tell if a president really monumentally fucked things up? When you're trying to rattle off a list of his hugest fuckups and you forget about the hurricane that he was warned about, said the government was prepared for, and which then destroyed an entire fucking city causing a thousand people to drown in their fucking attics while he played air guitar in fucking California. Good fucking gravy that man needs to be rotting in prison.

        • JMPEsq

          But Obummer is dah Worse Presnint evar cause of socialamism.

          • LibSmacker

            Actually, he is the worst president ever because he is clueless…and evil…and a yes, a socialist.

        • Jerri

          When rattling off the list of complaints about that smug little fucker, I always like to end with "and on top of all that, he lost a major American city!!"

          I like to picture it 40+ years in the future and I'm explaining the grievances to my grandchildren who gasp in disbelief. Except thanks to that prick I can't afford to have kids, so I'll be explaining it to my pet rock in my sad apartment before settling in for a tasty cat food dinner and a snifter of Hi-C.

          • LibSmacker

            No, you won't be able to have kids because you won't be able to find a loser desperate enough to sleep with you.

          • HistoriCat

            Well, he didn't really lose the city he always knew where it was … kinda. And the troops eventually restored a semblance of order, even if there are still regular bombings. Wait, you mean Baghdad isn't an American city?

        • transfatz

          When you're trying to rattle off a list of fuckups and you run out of words, letters, numbers and punctuation.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Well duh!

  • PocketsTheClown

    Whats with all these MONKEYS FLYING OUT OF BUTT

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Damn AP, they need some new copy editors:

    The former president said his he's the greatest failure in office.

    Fixed.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I think Barbara Bush has been on here voting the comments down. She don't like people making fun of her boy.

    • Cicada

      The same thing is happening on the Krauthammer post. I think some sad soul wandered over from Breitbart's Mouthbreather Emporium and is amusing themselves by clicking red thumbs. Oh the thrill of toying with meaningless metrics!

      • JMPEsq

        One of the Brietbarters has been cryptically trolling on the Krauthammer post; so yeah it's definitely them.

        • Cicada

          Given that almost every commenter on Breitbart has a pee value of over a hundred, they must really like clicking those little thumbs. I wonder if a food pellet dispenses from their monitors every 10th click?

          • LibSmacker

            The same way another nugget of Libtard "wisdom" dispenses out of your ass—er, mouth—er, whatever.

          • transfatz

            No, but the shocks stop.

        • kenlayisalive

          Just another industrious day for a real American, don'tcha kno?

          • LibSmacker

            You know nothing about being a real American.

        • Chet Kincaid

          Couple of 'em. And you guys have been really good about completely ignoring them, which is the best Raid.

          • LibSmacker

            Ignore me, Chester…..come on, just try.

        • LibSmacker

          Cryptic, my ass!

  • Bluestatelibel

    Giving him a break, he's just regretting that he didn't privatize Social Security so that his dickhead friends on Wall Street could destroy that too, and we'd have millions of olds living under bridges.

    • HistoriCat

      All the teatards can recycle their "This time finish the job!" bumper stickers.

  • Jerri

    There's that oblivious, over-confident, patronizing talk and the resulting spike in my blood pressure/twitch in my eyelid I've missed lo these past few years. Aw, George, you sonofabitch; it's just like old times. I may need a cigarette.

    Also: This whole "George's regrets" thing kind of reminds me of the time Mr. Burns got into the recycling business.

  • mumbly_joe

    Man, I was kinda hoping he'd say the "Invading a country for non-existant reasons" thing, or the "presiding over the first 'boom' in US history where median incomes fell" thing, or maybe the "torture" thing.

    Oh, well, I'm sure he'll get to those eventually.

  • Chet Kincaid

    The one thing I would like to see Bush do, the one thing which would maybe slightly perfume his rotting legacy, is to come out and make the same statements in defense of Muslims and their religion NOW that he made when he was in office. And really meaning it, and slapping down the political opportunists who are whipping up the bigotry.

    Who knows, he is the kind of sentimental idiot who might get guilted into doing it if a group of centrist preachers cornered him down on the ranch for a "come to Jesus."

    Aw, why do I bother even hoping, he is so beyond giving a shit today.

    • mumbly_joe

      Of course, if we're going to apply Cabbagehammer's Razor to that particular situation, then the reason Bush hasn't said anything yet is either because he's actually okay with it despite the shit he said when he was in office (I know: Dubya? Lying? I can scarcely believe it) or at least because Kanye was right and he cold doesn't give a shit about brown people.

    • lingin

      You would think his Saudi friends would mention it. But I guess all religious opportunists are alike; it's those Wahabists who are the problem and I guess it serves them to let TeaPartyAmerika think all Muslims are alike.

    • Failure_Artist

      Wingnuts already say that Bush was actually liberal. I don't think repeating "Islam is a religion of peace" is going to help that.

  • LetUsBray

    It's a small thing, but I regret that the shoe-throwing guy missed.

    • transfatz

      Spikes also.

  • freakishlywrong

    "The former president said his greatest failure in office was not passing Social Security reform."

    That is the textbook, precise meaning of "polishing a turd".

  • ttommyunger

    Nice to see consistency for a change…George W. Bush-still a total fucking douche.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Uh, Georgie? The people of New Orleans would like to have a word with you about this whole "greatest failure" thing.

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