Oh, fiddlesticks, what have the Democrats gotten themselves into this time? That’s okay, Bill Clinton will squiggle out of the seaweed cocoon he keeps himself in and come to save them. Did anyone ask him to do this? Well, no, apparently Bill Clinton will just call you up and let you know he is here to rescue you and will show up to have a huge rally with you. Bill Clinton, you see, has a lot of ideas about what the Democratic Party’s message should be, and he’s going to tell it to the people of this country because he is convinced they all want to have sex with him. It’s funny, though, that so many of his chosen candidates lose! Such as his wife, in his last major campaign push! Or, soon, Kendrick Meek, for whom Clinton has appeared “more than a half-dozen” times. Or, say, Gavin Newsom, who is pictured next to Clinton for this article as the old president does his best “I feel so good being your God!” pose.
“He literally sat down with a yellow legal pad,” said McAuliffe, a former chairman of the Democratic National Committee, adding that Clinton told him: “Make sure, Terry, you get these talking points out to every candidate.”
Jesus, is this what Terry McAuliffe does these days, sit around Clinton’s office pretending the two of them are still in charge of politics? Yeah, makes sense. Who else would employ Terry McAuliffe? These two just sit by the phone calling world leaders from the 1990s who are no longer in office / dead, trying to broker imaginary peace accords with them.
“I keep thinking I’m too old for this,” Clinton quipped to a crowd of 5,000 as the sun set behind him over the open-air Plaza de Espanola at a rally for New Mexico gubernatorial candidate Diane Denish.
“No! No! No!” the crowd cried out.
“Then I got out here and started stirring around and realized a lot of people were mad and even more confused, and I didn’t want it on my conscience,” Clinton said. “So I sort of loaded up and started strolling around.”
Oh, how nice of him.
Still, yeah, that guy probably is the only person that can have a positive effect on the voters, however miniscule and not actually god-like. [WP]
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Looks like the GOP is going to need a special double dose of the H.W. Bush and Bob Dole magic to counteract this,
If democrats can't get energized to vote against the likes of Sharron Angle and Joe Miller, no amount of Clinton pimping is going to save us on November 2nd.
Nicely done, Jack. The Villagers are obsessed with their new meme "Clinton more popular than Obama, Clinton more popular than Obama."
Gee, who woulda thunk that an ex-president ten years out of office who presided over an economic boom and was succeeded by eight years of a handiabled baboon with Darth Vader for a best friend and an economic catastrophe would be more popular than the guy who actually has to run shit during this time of FAIL and is considered a Kenyan Muslin Socializt by at least a third of the American public! It's unbelievable!
If you watch TV episodes from the time he was actually in office you get a pretty good picture of what it was like then. I think on the Simpsons, they have him on the cover of a magazine as "Public Enemy Number 1"
I remember the Gore campaign and all the other Democrats that year. None of them wanted Clinton anywhere near them. While we all love him now, let's not forget that after 8 years of peace and posterity, the Democrats should have owned DC. Instead, even though Bill knew that Ken Starr was on a step stool outside the bathroom window of the West Wing, he let his libido and his ego take over and managed to fuck the party while he did it.
Bill owes.
So many "pull the lever" jokes that are just dead because of electronic voting.
Can we still use the "pull my finger" gag??
Loose women and tons of fast food! Clinton would like to live in a world of constant campaigning.
Seriously, Bill's the most popular politician in the country right now, according to a recent poll. The only thing better than him going around speaking would be a Clinton/Bush tag team.
I'm not surprised that he is still popular given the fact that he left office with triple the approval ratings of his succesor.
Clinton will appear ANYWHERE.
I just received a "special invitation" to a Packer/Viking viewing party with Bill Clinton….halftime entertainment…Al Franken and Amy Klobuchar.
This actually sounds kind of fun, except it is in Blaine, Minnesota which is north of nowhere.
Okay, now drool is coming out of my lower lip….this is bad at work…
Why does a party that involves both Clinton and Brett Favre make me think there will be penises involved?
Amy Klobuchar better have someone open her mail for her next coupla weeks.
Hmmm, Clinton or Palin in Wilmington??? I loves me some Bill. And I heard this morning that Sarah cancelled (or quit) her plans to support the O'Donnell in Wilimington on the 1st. Apparently, since Coons has a 19 point lead, Sarah is cutting Christine loose.
So she quits her friends, too? What's next? Trig or Toad?
Good God, how crazy do you have to be that even Sarah Palin abandons you?
"Sarah is cutting Christine loose"
Christ, that must be a record length umbilical cord!
I have a friend who went to high school with Bill Clinton. Apparently that charm and self-confidence date back to at least 6th grade. And if someone can be charming and self-confident in 6th grade…
He fucked the gym teacher during recess, didn't he?
Along with the home ec teacher. At the same time.
A few years ago, I happened to be locked in a room with Bill Clinton, Cameron Diaz, Daryl Hannah, some secret service peeps, and one or two other random schmoes while Bill waited to give a speech in the auditorium across the hall.
Bill was seated in a chair, and when Cameron entered the room, she came bounding over to him all schoolgirl-like in her oversized Uggs and bra-less sweater ensemble, hugged & kissed him hard from behind, and then lingered just long enough to allow him to reach back, without looking, and give her tiny ass a few well-practiced little finger rolls.
Daryl Hannah looked like she just about came from merely witnessing the exchange.
So, yeah — Dude is one smooth-ass motherfucker.
Strangely, I believe that recollection whether it is actually true or not. That man is hypnotic, y'all.
Though 99% percent of what I typically type is 99% bullshit, 100% of that precious little recollection is actually 100% true.
Unfortunately, I watched Bill Clinton tap Cameron Diaz's ass, and all I got was this lousy signed copy of his 10 lb. autobiography. I was afraid that if I tried to get pics, the 5' 2'' heat-packing Secret Service hottie in the two sizes too big navy blue blazer would've totally told me to GTFO or shot me in the kneecap or something.
However, the lovely, lanky Daryl "Elle Driver" Hannah did chat me up for quite some time before handing me her business card — it's made of recycled used toilet paper or tampons or whatever and has seeds embedded in it so that you can shove it in a steaming pile of your own poo and water it and watch it grow and feel super awesome about being all eco-sensitive and shit and then later realize that you're an idiot because now you can no longer contact her because her hippie-dippie biodegradable dirt digits have totally decomposed and all you're left with is some dumb dying plant you thought would be marijuana but is actually cilantro or mint or the hell if I know, I'm not some slow food-fucking hipster kitchen douche, alright?
Sheesh…
Who else but Bill could pull this off? He's got the most famous set of balls in the whole damn party.
When Bubba was president he was denounced by his opponents as a big-government tax-and-spend liberal, a danger to our freedom, an encourager of our enemies, a sellout to foreign interests and a shady-dealing, friend-betraying murdering authoritarian menace. At the same time I was constantly disappointed that he was a pussyfooting half-liberal and a sellout to big business.
And now the best the Republicans can do is pretend those eight years of prosperity, leadership and sound, reasoned approaches to crises didn't exist at all. The more things change…
Why not? They all pretend they were protesting the shit that spend and borrow crazy Bush and Cheney did. Hell, the wingers barely admit they've ever heard either of those names.
First iPads, then Bill Clinton. What next? Bill Clinton holding an iPad?
I'd hate to be the nurse in Bill's old-folks home…
It'd probably a geriatric wh*rehouse.
I actually appreciate him doing this. He knows what it was like to face a rabid right wing. It's now a frothing, masticating shout monster rabid right wing. They've been doing nothing but making ugly, hateful noises for two years, we need a little of our own. I say get Howard Dean out there to yell at everyone as well. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
Maybe he sees it as a little payback for all the impeachment shit the wingers put him through. Ugh, how many million did Ken Starr spend of OUR money to prove that Clinton, like every other American male, lied about his sex life?
I love Bill. I didn't always agree with his stands and I wouldn't want to be married to him, but he's smart, charismatic, has a good connection with people, AND his very existence pisses the hell out of the GOP'ers.
Yay, Bill!
We're only one or two election cycles from seeing Clinton take a knee on the stage, mopping his glistening brow with a silk kerchief, while Terry McCauliffe runs out to drape a white cape over his shoulders with "42" embroidered in sequins and rhinestones across it. The man knows how to work a crowd.
How can Bill be too old for this shit? Why, if were in the other party, he could be a Young Gun.
Stand him up beside Grampa Cornpants and he looks like Paul Newman in Hud.
Maybe Monica could join Palin on a Fox-sponsored tour, in kind of "fair and balanced" way…..especially if Christine is off the toothless grizzly list….
I'd do him.
“I keep thinking I’m too old for this,” Clinton quipped
Bringin' back a 20 year old franchise for yet another sequel!
Then McAuliffe put his gun against his temple and Clinton talked him down for the next 30 minutes, and sighed "Dammit Terry, you ARE crazy."
Needs moar NAFTA.
Sounds like Clinton is almost single-handedly responsible for keeping Meek in the Florida Senate race, which means we will have to listen to Marco Rubio for six years instead of following the "exploits" of Charlie Crist.
Party pooper.
So when I was crammed cheek to cheek with 26,000 other people waiting for 6 hours in a cloud of BO, that was evidence that nobody wants to see n0bama.
Good for Clinton for helping out, but come on. I'm getting a little sick of this WHY ISN'T OBAMA CLINTON meme.
Needs moar repeal of Glass/Steagall.
Needs moar FDR & Keynes — those damn outmoded socialists.
Only if Robert Rubin would say it was okay. And, you know he wouldn't. So, the Big
Dog won't ever offer up moar FDR & Keynes, ever.
I hope you remember who actually repealed Glass/Steagall.
Oh. I remember who was behind the legislation. But, did the Big Dog veto it? Nope. It was sponsored by those bastards, Phil Gramm and Jim Leach. However, the legislation was signed into law by President Bill Clinton on November 12, 1999. He didn't have to fucking sign it. He left his fingerprints on it. Didn't have to. Could have stood up and said, "No fuckin' way." But, he didn't. Why? Because he's only the Democratic flavor of the same bankster elites that need to have their asses kicked the fuck out of power, finally.
Ummm, hipster much?
All the time. I'm a vegan, too. You?
Let's just say Michelle is willing to do anything for her husband. Did you ever see Indecent Proposal?
That would have been an interesting movie if Robert Redford had been interested in Woody Harrelson.
I volunteer to blow him in your stead.
Christine want to ride the Big Dawgs broomstick. Oh yeah she would ride that like there is turbulence on the broom. Her secret puddin' cup is a fresh and squirty with the thought of "THE BROOMSTICK"
When Bill Clinton was President, according to a national poll 40% of the women surveyed said they would sleep with him.
The other 60% said once was enough.
Meek's main problem is that independent Charlie Crist is arguing that the state's Republican governor isn't actually him, but his evil, bailout-hating, gay-bashing twin brother, and Florida Democrats believe it.
So we deserve six years of Rubio.
this entire post is one big sexual tease.
Plus he splooged right on her dress. I call that pretty hardcore.
I [HEART] hope and all. Don't want to be a killjoy, but before we get all excited by Bill Clinton's political skills just remember one thing:
Hillary Clinton 08
His magic didn't come to her rescue.
Sorry, I don't want Hill Clinton. I don't really want her being secretary of state. She's about as diplomatic as a punch in the mouth. In her heart, she's still a Republican.
Perhaps the reason for the present problems that Barry is having???
Barry O. is probably a Rep in his heart, too.
You think??? Maybe Lincoln republican. But not Nixon republican.
I went to one of his rallies. The man is having the time of his life.
The Republicans are just pissed that the GOP has basically had to hog-tie Dubya and throw him in a closet to keep him out of the limelight while Clinton can go anywhere he damn well pleases and be popular.
Yeah, let GWB and Cheney go campaigning for GOP losers! It'll help them SO much!
No one would want to relive the eight year nightmare of peace and prosperity the nation suffered when Clinton was President.
9/11 Bill Clinton: "How dare you!"
Bilbo Baggedone may be God, (or did you mean to say he is a deadhead tripping at a show? cuz that's what he looks like) but FYI, ahem, Satan** is the ruler of this world — read your bibles son. (**FYII — that would be Sarah "plain and dumb" Impalin — our most revered Dark Mistress Kali)
i'll say this about Bill- better to have oral sex in the oval office than
Oral Roberts in the White House (from Gore Vidal).
Now that's a real reindeer nose.
Nope. I love absorbing my vegetables through the flesh and blood of the slaughtered animals I consume. They do such a better job of digesting vegetation than I cdo. And, it's so so tasty, too. Also.
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