IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:45 am October 22, 2010

BREAKING: Rich Dudes Love Republicans

by Josh Fruhlinger

  • Artist's depiction of typical Republican donorBecause all Republican rhetoric is about how the ELITE represses the PEOPLE and we should always side with the PEOPLE against the ELITE and their SINISTER GOVERNMENT, you might think that America’s actual economic elite would be opposed to Republican policies. You would be wrong, though! For instance, over the course of this cycle rich dude Bob Perry has spread a cool $11 million around among Karl Rove’s American Crossroads election cabal and the Republican Governors Association. Also, radical outsider Tea Party candidates are getting campaign money from rich Wall Street fat cats, via John Boehner! [NYT, WP]
  • Harry Reid is all man, baby. ALL MAN! Also, he likes making Dick Cheney jokes. [WP]
  • Barack Obama recorded a video telling bullied gay teens that it will get better for them! Like, when DADT gets repealed and gay marriage is legal! You know, much later. [Fox]
  • Several high-profile races may be won by Latinos this year — Republican Latinos! Don’t they know that the Republican leadership will just wait for them to settle into their new office and work a couple of weeks, then call the INS on them right before they get their first paycheck? [WP]
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Hola wonkerados.

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chascates October 22, 2010 at 8:47 am

We have the best democracy money can buy!

DashboardBuddha October 22, 2010 at 9:16 am

This has always been true…but now with Citizens United, we'll never know if we're getting good value for our money.

Badonkadonkette October 22, 2010 at 8:54 am

Real men love a good Dick joke.

GuyClinch October 22, 2010 at 8:54 am

Obama: It will get better, then we will ask the courts to stay the improvement, until such time as we can systematically make it better, through a thoroughly vetted and studied process, The End.

horsedreamer_1 October 22, 2010 at 10:58 am
ManchuCandidate October 22, 2010 at 8:57 am

Teabagger's just another word for "tool of the rich."

mrblifil October 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

I wuz thinking "serf"…

PsycWench October 22, 2010 at 9:00 am

What, you expected consistency from the Republicans? That's so cute. When Jim Gilmore ran (and won) for VA governor his main platform as far as we could see was to eliminate a state-wide car tax. You saw "No car tax!" in yards with a shotgun shack or a double-wide in them. The car tax was reduced (not eliminated) but localities had to cut services or raise local taxes to generate revenue, so the debt pretty much got shifted, not cut. But there are people who remember him as the guy who got rid of the car tax.

V572625694 October 22, 2010 at 9:18 am

Democracy's great, isn't it? After Gilmore was gone, the Repubes tried to recycle him as a statesman and deep thinker. Didn't work it too well, perhaps because "Taxes bad!" is more of a bumper sticker than a philosophy of government.

jakegittes October 22, 2010 at 9:20 am

That's nuthin'. In California, we recalled a sitting governor (Gray Davis) and replaced him with a bad actor (Arnold Schwarzenneger) (where have we heard that before? Oh yeah! Ronny Raygun) over a stupid fucking car tax. Well, we repealed the car tax and that did wonders to stimulate our economy. And, it really improved our state's ability to deliver state services. Now California is sitting pretty, feet dangling over the summit of El Capitan in Yosemite, just waiting for a gust of wind to push it into freefall to end up face down on the floor of Yosemite Valley.

thedeathofirony October 22, 2010 at 9:00 am

"Seems under the Dem's the weird and disgusting low life get all the attention and voice in the media. "

Fox commenters are so charming.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 22, 2010 at 9:02 am

I hear that China and Iran gave the Republicans Eleventy Gazillion dollars but the thanks to our Non-Activist Supreme Court™ we'll never know if that's true.

DustBowlBlues October 22, 2010 at 11:36 am

According to Talking Points Memo, add Saudi Arabia to the list. You know, the country where they make the terrorists.

fuhrius October 22, 2010 at 9:02 am

bob "swift boat" kerry gets results. with loot that like it's actually possible to un-lose Vietnam apparently. no wonder I feel like such a doosh when i'm sending checks to SPLC. needs more zeroes.

PsycWench October 22, 2010 at 9:02 am

This video is probably the equivalent of Obama whispering in their ears "Psst! I'm going to overturn DADT and the federal restrictions on gay marriage in my last six months in office…you know, so that's my legacy but without any risk to my re-election or anything".

Come here a minute October 22, 2010 at 9:04 am

Where is the web site to post a video reassuring straight white teens that the suck just keeps on coming?

mrblifil October 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

Seriously. "She's outta yer league, you don't have connections, youll never be rich, you'll never play for the bigs, your body will eventually fail you…commence drinking!"

MarionNYNY October 22, 2010 at 9:07 am

I had to go rubbernecking at the Fox news site to see their comments in defense of bullying and accusing the President of not having his manpants on and being a big gay boy. Then my browser crashed after its visit to HELL. I blame you Wonkette.

johnnyzhivago October 22, 2010 at 9:16 am

"I was bullyied as a child and it made me the man I am today!"

mrblifil October 22, 2010 at 11:39 am

What doesnt kill me makes me contemplate revenge fantasies of killing others…

johnnyzhivago October 22, 2010 at 9:12 am

No fear, young people of all persuasions! You future Chinese/Muslim/Mexican overlords will have plenty of work for you in the fields and mines as the 50 year plan takes effect! Those of you of special talent, exceptional beauty or extreme stupidity will have careers in reality television or as journalists.

Terry October 22, 2010 at 9:13 am

I'm not sure why people assume there is a "Latino vote". There are a lot of different groups of people under the Latino title. Why would a person whose family has been a big landowner in a southwestern state for generations necessarily think or vote the same way as a person who came here from Peru a decade or two back?

Come here a minute October 22, 2010 at 9:19 am

DUH! They're both brown — that's all you need to know.

slappypaddy October 22, 2010 at 9:14 am

good to see all that government bailout money's getting plowed back into the economy.

freakishlywrong October 22, 2010 at 9:15 am

Not Breaking: Working poor, snarky Wankettes despise Republicans.

V572625694 October 22, 2010 at 9:16 am

"…call the INS on them right before they get their first paycheck…" But not before they edge the lawn and trim the bushes.

FlownOver October 22, 2010 at 10:28 am

Both are slang terms for "fondle the pages," I'm guessing.

ttommyunger October 22, 2010 at 9:17 am

Gazillionaires loves them some Republicans! Worthy of print, really? How about "Sun expected to set in West today?

weejee October 22, 2010 at 9:20 am

♪♫ It's getting bitter all the time,
bitter, bitter, bitter… ♪♫

Limeylizzie October 22, 2010 at 9:24 am

BREAKING: Adorable, Bosomy English Woman Has Never-Knowingly Fucked a Republican.

freakishlywrong October 22, 2010 at 9:29 am

You mean you've never had the buttsecks, Lizzie?

Limeylizzie October 22, 2010 at 9:46 am

Is that how you tell their political stripes? Hmm interesting.

prommie October 22, 2010 at 9:43 am

Bosomy? Oh my.

mrblifil October 22, 2010 at 11:40 am

"Never-Knowingly" covers a multitude of sins doesn't it?

JMPEsq October 22, 2010 at 9:30 am

The Republicans have their own special definitions for a lot of words, and "elite/elitist" is certainly one of them. For them, the elite are not our corporate overlords, the executives who control our lives and have eight-figure incomes; no, it's poor college professors, scientists, along with most people who have or are studying for advanced degrees (except MBAs), anyone who enjoys reading and in general all of us who see being smart and intellectual as something to be proud and admired.

TimeCubist October 22, 2010 at 9:34 am

Truth. Sometimes the overused term "Orwellian" really does apply.

V572625694 October 22, 2010 at 9:35 am

Ah, Squire JMP: If you'd spent more time buddying up to the captain of the college tennis team at the gym, and less time in the law library, you'd have a Muscular Jeebus physique and not be so envious of your betters careening around the pitch on their polo ponies while their tax preparers pay 15% tax on the income they earn on the bonds they inherited from Daddy.

JMPEsq October 22, 2010 at 10:03 am

Ah yes, I love the "you're just jealous" common wingnutism; yeah, we hate our corporate overlords out of jealousy and not for the fact that they are sociopaths who profit over fucking over the working class, consumers and the environment. But while we hate the rich and want class warfare we're the oxymoronic liberal elitists.

imissopus October 22, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Don't forget that we also don't have any common sense. Otherwise we would all also own three trucks and our own tack room.

GOPCrusher October 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm

It's only considered "class warfare" when we fight back.

CalamityJames October 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

Huh, I always assumed "elite/elitist" was some sort of teabagger code for "uppity nigra."

Gleem_McShineys October 22, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I always understood "elitist" as shorthand for "educated enough to know right from wrong and carry enough intellectual weight to possibly influence others to see it as such, and therefore cause ripples in my insatiable hunger for ever increasing profits"

JustPixelz October 22, 2010 at 9:33 am

Funny how Repubicans seem to think Mexicans who come here are America hating narco-terrorists planting anchor babies and stealing Social Security in Spanish. While Cubans who come here are America loving freedom fighters building a new life while contributing to our economy and rich cultural tapestry.

fishskicanoe October 22, 2010 at 9:41 am

Ergo the Mexicans should have a revolution, install some bearded Reds (I believe there are some folks in Chiapas who could help with that) and, voila, we could allow the "freedom fighters" across the border en masse, to pick our veggies and roof our houses. Hell, the Red Mexicans might even do Joe Miller's work for him and build a snazzy wall along the border, complete with machine gun towers and kill zones.

Pop_Socket October 22, 2010 at 9:43 am

The chickens are voting for Colonel Sanders.

spooked911 October 22, 2010 at 10:03 am

it is a pretty amazing testament to the power of right-wing propaganda

transfatz October 25, 2010 at 1:28 am

Or the weakness of right wing minds.

Chet Kincaid October 22, 2010 at 3:12 pm

It would have been awesome if Malcolm X had said that.

Gleem_McShineys October 22, 2010 at 3:27 pm

"But… come on, Soylent Cinnabons are sooo DELICIOUS!"

deanbooth October 22, 2010 at 5:46 pm

And the Colonel will come home to roost! [claps, like white folk]

donner_froh October 22, 2010 at 10:43 am

Harry Reid appears on the Ed Schultz show.

Is that a sign of:

a) desperation
b) stupidity
c) both

BeWoot October 22, 2010 at 11:00 am


horsedreamer_1 October 22, 2010 at 11:02 am

Headline not nearly as awesome as Rich Republicans Love Dudes.

DustBowlBlues October 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

So Latino whores are joining the black suckups who become Republithugs because, with so little competition for the token brown person in the party, they're guaranteed a good gig with lots of teevee time. Who cares if they're in the party that keeps fucking the browns. As I'm sure OK's own J. C. Watt puts it, "Hey, suck it, Uncle Tom. I've got mine and fuck you." Or, in the Latino case, it would be Uncle Thomas with a funny accent somewhere.

Gleem_McShineys October 22, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Tio Thomás

transfatz October 25, 2010 at 1:31 am

Uncle Juan.

NorthStarSpanx October 22, 2010 at 11:34 am

Ironically, the bling that the rich dudes are spreading around are tantamount to all the significant 'tough' cuts the Republicans are prepared to make when they Take Our Country Back.

I'll bet the puny federal spending on Planned Parenthood, NPR and earmarks don't even compete with the butter Rove and Boehner's pet projects bring in.

DustBowlBlues October 22, 2010 at 11:35 am

I"m so tired of hearing about the money and how the Ds are going to be suffocated under stinking piles of it and how hopeless the Democratic case is these days that, I don't know, Fuck it. Is it time we just gave up and admitted there's nothing we can do to save the world or anyone in it? Is it time to just wave the white flag and say, "Okay. You won. Let the Gazillionaire Zombie Apocalypse begin."

And really–what's the deal with the liberal money drying up? Soros getting stingy? Hollywood sitting on their wallets? What's with that?

transfatz October 25, 2010 at 1:43 am

Everybody who is anybody wants a property in Roveville. It's the next Microsoft.

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