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BREAKING: Rich Dudes Love Republicans

  • Artist's depiction of typical Republican donorBecause all Republican rhetoric is about how the ELITE represses the PEOPLE and we should always side with the PEOPLE against the ELITE and their SINISTER GOVERNMENT, you might think that America’s actual economic elite would be opposed to Republican policies. You would be wrong, though! For instance, over the course of this cycle rich dude Bob Perry has spread a cool $11 million around among Karl Rove’s American Crossroads election cabal and the Republican Governors Association. Also, radical outsider Tea Party candidates are getting campaign money from rich Wall Street fat cats, via John Boehner! [NYT, WP]
  • Harry Reid is all man, baby. ALL MAN! Also, he likes making Dick Cheney jokes. [WP]
  • Barack Obama recorded a video telling bullied gay teens that it will get better for them! Like, when DADT gets repealed and gay marriage is legal! You know, much later. [Fox]
  • Several high-profile races may be won by Latinos this year — Republican Latinos! Don’t they know that the Republican leadership will just wait for them to settle into their new office and work a couple of weeks, then call the INS on them right before they get their first paycheck? [WP]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger
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60 comments

    1. DashboardBuddha

      This has always been true…but now with Citizens United, we'll never know if we're getting good value for our money.

  1. GuyClinch

    Obama: It will get better, then we will ask the courts to stay the improvement, until such time as we can systematically make it better, through a thoroughly vetted and studied process, The End.

  2. PsycWench

    What, you expected consistency from the Republicans? That's so cute. When Jim Gilmore ran (and won) for VA governor his main platform as far as we could see was to eliminate a state-wide car tax. You saw "No car tax!" in yards with a shotgun shack or a double-wide in them. The car tax was reduced (not eliminated) but localities had to cut services or raise local taxes to generate revenue, so the debt pretty much got shifted, not cut. But there are people who remember him as the guy who got rid of the car tax.

    1. V572625694

      Democracy's great, isn't it? After Gilmore was gone, the Repubes tried to recycle him as a statesman and deep thinker. Didn't work it too well, perhaps because "Taxes bad!" is more of a bumper sticker than a philosophy of government.

    2. jakegittes

      That's nuthin'. In California, we recalled a sitting governor (Gray Davis) and replaced him with a bad actor (Arnold Schwarzenneger) (where have we heard that before? Oh yeah! Ronny Raygun) over a stupid fucking car tax. Well, we repealed the car tax and that did wonders to stimulate our economy. And, it really improved our state's ability to deliver state services. Now California is sitting pretty, feet dangling over the summit of El Capitan in Yosemite, just waiting for a gust of wind to push it into freefall to end up face down on the floor of Yosemite Valley.

  3. thedeathofirony

    "Seems under the Dem's the weird and disgusting low life get all the attention and voice in the media. "

    Fox commenters are so charming.

  4. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I hear that China and Iran gave the Republicans Eleventy Gazillion dollars but the thanks to our Non-Activist Supreme Court™ we'll never know if that's true.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      According to Talking Points Memo, add Saudi Arabia to the list. You know, the country where they make the terrorists.

  5. fuhrius

    bob "swift boat" kerry gets results. with loot that like it's actually possible to un-lose Vietnam apparently. no wonder I feel like such a doosh when i'm sending checks to SPLC. needs more zeroes.

  6. PsycWench

    This video is probably the equivalent of Obama whispering in their ears "Psst! I'm going to overturn DADT and the federal restrictions on gay marriage in my last six months in office…you know, so that's my legacy but without any risk to my re-election or anything".

  7. Come here a minute

    Where is the web site to post a video reassuring straight white teens that the suck just keeps on coming?

    1. mrblifil

      Seriously. "She's outta yer league, you don't have connections, youll never be rich, you'll never play for the bigs, your body will eventually fail you…commence drinking!"

  8. MarionNYNY

    I had to go rubbernecking at the Fox news site to see their comments in defense of bullying and accusing the President of not having his manpants on and being a big gay boy. Then my browser crashed after its visit to HELL. I blame you Wonkette.

  9. johnnyzhivago

    No fear, young people of all persuasions! You future Chinese/Muslim/Mexican overlords will have plenty of work for you in the fields and mines as the 50 year plan takes effect! Those of you of special talent, exceptional beauty or extreme stupidity will have careers in reality television or as journalists.

  10. Terry

    I'm not sure why people assume there is a "Latino vote". There are a lot of different groups of people under the Latino title. Why would a person whose family has been a big landowner in a southwestern state for generations necessarily think or vote the same way as a person who came here from Peru a decade or two back?

  11. V572625694

    "…call the INS on them right before they get their first paycheck…" But not before they edge the lawn and trim the bushes.

  12. ttommyunger

    Gazillionaires loves them some Republicans! Worthy of print, really? How about "Sun expected to set in West today?

  13. JMPEsq

    The Republicans have their own special definitions for a lot of words, and "elite/elitist" is certainly one of them. For them, the elite are not our corporate overlords, the executives who control our lives and have eight-figure incomes; no, it's poor college professors, scientists, along with most people who have or are studying for advanced degrees (except MBAs), anyone who enjoys reading and in general all of us who see being smart and intellectual as something to be proud and admired.

    1. V572625694

      Ah, Squire JMP: If you'd spent more time buddying up to the captain of the college tennis team at the gym, and less time in the law library, you'd have a Muscular Jeebus physique and not be so envious of your betters careening around the pitch on their polo ponies while their tax preparers pay 15% tax on the income they earn on the bonds they inherited from Daddy.

      1. JMPEsq

        Ah yes, I love the "you're just jealous" common wingnutism; yeah, we hate our corporate overlords out of jealousy and not for the fact that they are sociopaths who profit over fucking over the working class, consumers and the environment. But while we hate the rich and want class warfare we're the oxymoronic liberal elitists.

    2. Gleem_McShineys

      I always understood "elitist" as shorthand for "educated enough to know right from wrong and carry enough intellectual weight to possibly influence others to see it as such, and therefore cause ripples in my insatiable hunger for ever increasing profits"

  14. JustPixelz

    Funny how Repubicans seem to think Mexicans who come here are America hating narco-terrorists planting anchor babies and stealing Social Security in Spanish. While Cubans who come here are America loving freedom fighters building a new life while contributing to our economy and rich cultural tapestry.

    1. fishskicanoe

      Ergo the Mexicans should have a revolution, install some bearded Reds (I believe there are some folks in Chiapas who could help with that) and, voila, we could allow the "freedom fighters" across the border en masse, to pick our veggies and roof our houses. Hell, the Red Mexicans might even do Joe Miller's work for him and build a snazzy wall along the border, complete with machine gun towers and kill zones.

  15. DustBowlBlues

    So Latino whores are joining the black suckups who become Republithugs because, with so little competition for the token brown person in the party, they're guaranteed a good gig with lots of teevee time. Who cares if they're in the party that keeps fucking the browns. As I'm sure OK's own J. C. Watt puts it, "Hey, suck it, Uncle Tom. I've got mine and fuck you." Or, in the Latino case, it would be Uncle Thomas with a funny accent somewhere.

  16. NorthStarSpanx

    Ironically, the bling that the rich dudes are spreading around are tantamount to all the significant 'tough' cuts the Republicans are prepared to make when they Take Our Country Back.

    I'll bet the puny federal spending on Planned Parenthood, NPR and earmarks don't even compete with the butter Rove and Boehner's pet projects bring in.

  17. DustBowlBlues

    I"m so tired of hearing about the money and how the Ds are going to be suffocated under stinking piles of it and how hopeless the Democratic case is these days that, I don't know, Fuck it. Is it time we just gave up and admitted there's nothing we can do to save the world or anyone in it? Is it time to just wave the white flag and say, "Okay. You won. Let the Gazillionaire Zombie Apocalypse begin."

    And really–what's the deal with the liberal money drying up? Soros getting stingy? Hollywood sitting on their wallets? What's with that?

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