Important news! According to Politico, Obama has a relative named “Bo Obama” who — no, wait, they’re talking about that fucking dog. Never mind. This publication put two whole reporters to work tracking down that dog’s trainer, because they are a newspaper that concerns itself with governmental affairs. And they called this article “THE REAL BO OBAMA,” as it’s important for journalists to look into the backgrounds of those who serve in our government as animals who shit on the White House lawn. How big is this story? Politico‘s featured poll on their website asks, “Do you think Bo Obama is a good dog?” That is the question we are all asking ourselves less than two weeks before the midterm elections.
It’s hard to imagine that anyone in the White House has poor training, including the first dog. Even Caroline Kennedy’s pony Macaroni behaved himself on Pennsylvania Avenue. Could it be that Bo is the first four-legged rebel roaming the grounds?
Nonsense, said Dawn Sylvia-Stasiewicz. She should know: She has helped train the first dog since before his days at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. (Click here to see a slideshow of Bo Obama.)
Oh, good thing they put that parenthetical in the middle of this article. Otherwise we might not find that “slideshow of Bo Obama.” And that would mean we would have moved on with our lives without seeing some old news photos of the president’s fucking dog, and how would we be able to look in the mirror every morning knowing that?
Yet, there was work to be done. “I wanted to sharpen up his house-training skills so he could clearly give me a signal that he needed to go potty,” she said
Oh, so, like, this dog was a dog. News. [Politico]
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Real Americans french kiss and write on their dogs.
Timely Edit: Or teach it to say grace.
I'm pretty sure Bo is not the President's fucking dog. Bo was spayed.
Now President Obama truly wishes that he could say, in regard to his coverage in the Politico news pamphlet, "They talk about me like a dog."
I dont know whats dumber, the story or the comments on this story at Politico. I think it maybe time to unleash the Wonkette dogs on Politico.
Jesus Dollar Christ! I read the comments and now I'm worse off for it.
Arrgh, now I've done the same. Must not let button be pushed so easily.
oh. my. god. kill me now.
Today's final Jeopardy answer:
He was the first dog to accidently take a shit in the oval office
Who is Him…LBJ's beagle?
Who was George Bush?
No, sorry, that was *on* purpose.
Who was Eleanor Roosevelt?
Who was Gerald Ford?
Too easy. Who is David Vitter.
Thanks to all our contestants. The correct question, of course is:
Who was Walter Mondale?
Note that the final jeopardy answer included the word "accidentally".
Dogs of this age don't ever accidentally shit. They shit exactly when they need to shit.
Here, sign a petition to the president of the United States of America to esquire as to why his dog is the auntie Chris' mooslim mongrul: http://prayinjesusname.org/
Do the right thing: have Jim VandeHei spayed and neutered now.
His face shoved in a toilet, fetid & filled past flushing with feces, syringes, & condoms — think Trainspotting meets the Big Lebowski — is my preferred torture for that subhuman.
Who's a stupid political rag?! Who's a stupid political rag?! WHO'S A STUPID POLITICAL RAG?!!? YES! You are, Politico!
Bo Bo Bo Bo
Bonana nana fo fo
Fe fi mo mo
Bo
Bobama Bobama
Bananafana fo fama
Me My Mo Mama
Bobama
Let's do Chuck!
This settles it. The next time I'm in DC, I'm going to stop by Politicos office, say Hi, ask to use the john, then take a big dump, on journalism.
I think I'm going to create a vitual birdcage and line it with The Politico.
"Oh look, Politico thinks they're people!"
Do You Believe Politico Is A Legitimate News Source?
a. Yes! – All White HOuse Correspondents Dinner All The Time
b. Maybe – Sometimes the Post is just too edgy.
c. No – I only use the print version to train my frisky dog.
d. Fuck off, hacks.
Well, if they hired Triumph to freelance this one, I'd say d-b=POOP ON.
d
Good god, the Villagers can even concern troll about a fucking dog. "Is Bo Obama a well-intentioned, well-trained and well-groomed first pup? Or a rascally pooch running circles around the president? Cesar Millan, the so-called Dog Whisperer, thinks the latter."
I've said it before (3 minutes ago), I'll say it again: have Jim VandeHei spayed and neutered now.
In an alternate universe, this article covers all the time our prez has personally spent training Bo. The comments chastise him for playing with a dog while the economy crumbles.
In yet another, he hasn't gotten a dog and he's a bad father since the kids are obviously going to see their father less frequently.
In still yet another, Obama snaps and beats Jim VandeHei to death using Bo's (ultimately lifeless) body as a bludgeon. I want to be in this last universe.
I would hope Bo is paper trained; specifically trained to shit on the print edition of the Politico.
About the only thing I got from the article is that Bo, Politico, and its commenters are all full of shit.
“I wanted to sharpen up his house-training skills so he could clearly give me a signal that he needed to go potty,”
That quote is actually from a profile of David Vitter
Oh, it's Bo — when you said Politico was investigating who craps on the White House lawn I thought it was going to be about Chuck Todd.
I lost 10 IQ points just reading that article and I don't have that many to spare.
Bo Obama is really not a dog. That is Bristol Palin in a dog suit. Bristol Palin is not toilet trained so she shits and pisses on everything. Sarah has been upset about this. They hired Greta Van Cistern to train her butt. . .
Next thing you know, there she is on DWTS in a gorilla suit. The very next day a photographer caught Sarah giving Bristol a kiss and writing on her furry tummy.
I'm worried folks… This dawg just won't get trained… Perhaps spay is required or a catheter
If Bo Obama was really the Obama’s dog, then why won’t they release the long-form pedigree certificate certifying this fact? And why am I the only person asking these questions?
NOBOBAMA.
If Bo Obama is really a dog, then where's his long-form pedigree certificate proving it? And why am I the only person asking these questions?
NOBOBAMA
After browsing that article, I found myself breathing through my mouth. Coincidence?
If Politico were a dog, it would be my neighbor's dog. A small little yappy (which only barks on a quiet sunday morn while one is trying to read and enjoy a quiet morn) mutt that humps legs and pisses on feet and whose owner one would like to take out with a Mk79 Grenade Launcher with HE fragmentation rounds.
Bad dog
Never mind that dog – I'm gobsmacked to learn about a pony called Macaroni!
He was, like, um, my favorite, you know, memory from, you know, childhood.
Nicely done.
You young whippersnapper.
It's such a bitch to say something funny when the article being goofed on is already a parody of itself.
What could be more "real" than a dog? What were they looking for? A drug habit? Nothing that takes a crap while starring right at you has any guile.
I find this article lacking an appropriate picture of a Bo costume.
http://wonkette.com/411950/a-childrens-treasury-o...
Id hit that.
The name "Politico" implies that the site is about politics. Maybe they should rename it "Bolitico."
Eat. Stay. Ruv.
"POLITICO: The Most Trusted Name in Neuticles"
Check out the bios of the two geniuses who wrote the article:
http://www.politico.com/reporters/AmieParnes.html
http://www.politico.com/reporters/KarinTanabe.htm...
No, guru, they should rename Politico: "Cheney's Direct Pipeline to the Fucktards". BTW, haven't heard from the Dark Lord lately; we can only hope mad scientists worldwide have converged on his undisclosed location to try and revive his finally lifeless corpse; and I mean that in the nicest possible way
But does Bo know Didley?
OK, I signed up on Politico just so I could tell these morons that they are morons, but which of you little devils also goes by the name "TeaNutz"?
Raises hand, damn that submit button is sensitive over there didnt mean to post the same thing multiple times. Friggin button is just as fucked up as their reporters. I missed the time our dear leader Mr Layne sicked us on FoxNews website, one of the funniest days ever on wonkette.
They were so many Wonkette dog whistle memes on those posts…hover-rounds, truck-nutz, and I especially enjoyed the reference to Bo's AKC bona fides.
My profile over there is set to public, I think I got it about right.
Sounds like it's time for staff retraining at Politico, starting with a mandatory screening of "Mondo Cane."
As long as Bo isn't one of those tea party dogs that feels compelled to roll around in stinky shit.
What? No picture of Bo being kissed by a political celebrity???
Wouldn't be any worse than what he's fantasized about doing to Mika & Barnicle while sitting across them on the Morning Joe set.
Let's start a rumour that Mike Allen is a coprophiliac. Sing it!
Given Bo was a gift of Ted Kennedy to the new President & First Family, did the writer attempt to pin Chappaquiddick on Bo?
'Water-dog, my ass. Had this so-called water-dog truly been capable at sea, Mary Jo would still be alive'.
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