les enfants

Nation of Whining Babies Still Throwing Stupid Tantrum

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You are truly a nation of suck. HO HO HO, HEE HEE HEE, what is ZEES?! Zey are still rioting, in la FRANCE?! Sacre bleu and mon dieu, whatever is ze guillotineingest nation in all ze world to do? Shall zey take away ze baguettes? Shall zey deport all ze Jews? This nation of fucking pussies, which once slaughtered its finest bewigged elite and called this murderous rampage a victory for democracy, cannot handle that its unwashed masses are on strike. The best part, of course, is the reason they are rioting: proposed changes to retirement plans fueled by milk suckled from the government teat. These lazy fucks are incensed over a proposal to change the minimum retirement age from 60 to 62. Sixty nique-ta-mereing two! President Nicholas Sarkozy took a break from banging the shit out of a fabulous aging supermodel/chanteuse in order to say big-boy words to his seething country of sloths.

Referring to several days of clashes between the police and protesters in Lyon, which continued on Thursday, Mr. Sarkozy said the “troublemakers will not have the last word in a democracy, a republic.”

“It is not acceptable,” he said. “They will be stopped, tracked down and punished, in Lyon and anywhere else, with no weakness. Because in our democracy, there are many ways to express yourself. But violence is the most cowardly, the most gratuitous, and that is not acceptable.”

Here is the thing: he is 100% correct, and these stupid babies will not hear it. They would rather luxuriate in their wine-soaked diapers and prevent fellow citizens from filling up their teensy tiny European gas tanks and chasing the nearest impish red balloon to their twee jobs as bakers and candlestick makers and organ-grinders. Because of these radical union ruffians, the French organ-grinding industry has ground to a halt! Everywhere, pet monkeys are out of work, and their little hats sit forlornly atop their little heads. And the monkeys, they smoke, they smoke and they smoke some more, and they gaze into the distance, and they wonder why they got into this business, and what the point of life truly is, anyway. Then they turn to the newspaper to read more quotes from their leaders!

The interior minister, Brice Hortefeux, warned rioters that “the right to protest is not the right to break things, the right to set things on fire, the right to assault, the right to pillage.” He added: “We will use all means necessary to get these delinquents.”

When you literally have to explain to your citizens in teensy-tiny words that the right to protest is not the right to BREAK THINGS or SET THINGS ON FIRE, you know that you are dealing with a subhuman populace. Jesus God, SIXTY FUCKING TWO?! Any self-respecting American works until he or she dies of the diabetes at 87, right there at the Wal-Mart cash register, and then an addlepated greeter hustles the body out of sight. Not so for the disgusting French! Every American ought to take a shit on his/her VHS copy of My Father the Hero in protest. [NYT]

About the author

Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, writer and radio talk show host. Her outspoken, sexually-charged comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her memoir, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," (William Morrow/HarperCollins), was based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. She is currently working on a novel for young adults.

View all articles by Sara Benincasa


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • not that Dewey

    Is it wide? They are a "big tent", after all.

    Eeewww. I just grossed myself out.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Pftt…to hell with 70. By the time I get to retirement age science will be able to predict the day you will die…and if I'm lucky I'll get THAT day off.

      • HistoriCat

        OK, fine – you can have that day off. But don't expect to get paid for it!

        • DashboardBuddha

          exactly…folks ask me what kind of benefits I get. Simple…I work, I get paid.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Is this when Carla says "Let them eat cake?"

    • Gopherit

      Carla is way more likely to say, "Let them eat…me."

      • JustPixelz

        mmmmm …. French super-model … with Chianti and fava beans.

      • Negropolis

        It's funny 'cause it's true.

  • savethispatient

    The French are revolting.

    • Gopherit

      Yes, they stink on ice.

      God bless you, Mel Brooks.

  • Tommmcattt

    You know what is the best thing about sex with a French Guy?

    No, seriously, does anybody know?

    • DashboardBuddha

      Garlic scented semen? No…that's not good at all is it?

      • Extemporanus

        Actually, garlic scented semen is an excellent defense against vampire rape.

        • Negropolis


    • JustPixelz

      he goes home to his wife immediately after?

      • Tommmcattt

        I knew I could count on one of you guys…

      • Negropolis

        You win.

    • Limeylizzie

      The dirty-talking is par excellence.

  • fuflans

    Brice Hortefeux?

    no, no, i don't believe that.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Didn't he teach a class at Hogwarts?

  • SayItWithWookies

    But consider that they're taking time off from their three months' vacation to man the barricades, Sara, and you can really appreciate their devotion to the cause.

    • sarabenincasa

      In my mind, they are all singing "Confrontation" from Les Mis, at all times.

  • PocketsTheClown


  • Plowmon

    Wait until they learn their fast food is going halal, no more lard, bacon, etc. Talk about breaking things…

  • Noonan_

    Monsieur, c'est n'est pas une révolte, c'est une révolution!

    Yeah, but seriously, it's not the trade unions that are breaking into storefronts and burning cars. It's the stupid fucking kids that are acting like stupid fucking kids. I'm all for a good car burning from time to time, but the stupid fucking kids are distracting all the media attention away from what is a legitimate grievance by the working class.

    And 60 is minimum retirement age, i.e. not full pension. That's currently at 65 and the proposal is to make it 67. So, while more generous, the age differential isn't that tremendous vis à vis the States.

    Oh, and when the Fiscal Poop Commission comes after our Social Security next year, we'll probably just sit on our arses watching Dancing with the Slobs or something dumb. And that sucks.

    • petehammer

      "And 60 is minimum retirement age, i.e. not full pension"

      This "full pension" you speak of… perhaps more generous than our SSI?

      • V572625694

        You mean $1500/mo under Social Security isn't enough to get you from retirement age till the date when you go before your Death Panel?

      • Noonan_

        The maximum minimum (follow that? the highest dispensation to reach the minimum limit of social security) was 708,95 € for a single or 1157,46 € for a couple per month in 2009.

  • Wadisay

    In recognition of the danger from these terrorists, the French government has raised the Homeland Security Alert Level to magenta.

    • V572625694

      Verging into cerise.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    “We will use all means necessary to get these delinquents.”

    he's going to be awfully confused when he discovers that most of these aren't arabs

  • loquacioustunes

    They're not called "French riots." They're called "Freedom riots."

  • DCHatesMe

    Country acting up? Is it making pings, knocks and sputters? Could be time to change your leaders. Leaders become dirty after a few years and need changing.

  • Fuck Toad

    Sara, 60/62 is the early retirement age for the minimum pension. 62 is the early retirement age for Social Security, so it's not really a lot different from the US.

    The bill also increases the full retirement age from 65 to 67, which is what the protests are actually about. The French currently have slightly earlier retirement ages than we do, and after this bill they'll have the same.

    God forbid some fucking frog assholes take to the street to defend the society that their ancestors fought and died to build and sustain. I'm sure it'd be much better for them if they just rolled over and took it like a man, like the American left. It's worked out great for us.

    • petehammer

      Except that there, "Social Security" is the real deal. So they can either reduce those payments, move the age, or bankrupt the state. There's no easy solution.

      • Fuck Toad

        No, there is no easy solution. Which is why this bill probably merits more than 3 weeks of debate and then Sarkozy pushing it through.

        As far as the way the protesting is characterized as violent: do people, maybe, remember how millions of protesters against the Iraq war got translated in the US media to a handful of black-bloc wannabes putting cherry bombs in mailboxes? Perhaps that's also happening here? Maybe not, I dunno. Maybe we should consider it before throwing our support behind the French equivalent of the GOP.

        (EDIT: Plus, Sarkozy's entire career has been built on characterizing protesters as violent and swarthy scum and vowing to smash them with the iron hand of the state. It was more or less his platform when he was elected.)

    • Litlebritdifrnt

      Are you serious? When you look at your social security statement (so helpfully sent to you by the goverment) they are talking about a retirement age of 75. I mean come on 75? Really?

      • Fuck Toad

        (funny off)

        So, your pension is based on your lifetime earnings — you receive a monthly benefit derived from how much you made (and paid into the fund) during your working life. If you retire early, you get a smaller benefit.

        One of the main differences between the French system and the American system is that our Social Security system offers incremental increases in benefits if you choose to continue working. France is probably going to have to adjust their model to reduce earlier benefits and increase later benefits to keep workers in the workforce for a longer time. This is something that the Socialists agreed with even this year — the struggle right now is over specifics and over Sarkozy's attempt to railroad this through.

        Keep in mind that the French have been debating how to fix their pension system as long as we have. This isn't an emergency situation, except that Sarkozy wants to implement some high-visibility austerity measures so he and all of the other idiot deficit hawks can get together in Brussels and rub dicks.

        Another issue for the French pension system is high unemployment among young workers. Of course, one thing you don't hear a whole lot when that's brought up is that France and the US have very similar youth unemployment rates right now — about 25%. They've had poor employment rates for young workers longer than we have, though.

        OK OK I'm done. Flipping the funny switch back — come on — fuck, it's broken. I will never be funny again.

        • SnarkoMarx

          Excellent posts.

        • BarryOPotter

          Thanks for being the foil to the first Sara post that has ever given me a sadz ;-( I can't believe she also fell for that bullshit "60 to 62" shit that's all the rage among the idiot American journalists.

          Ils font un fardeau de ma vie…

          • Oblios_Cap

            If societies want to make the case that everyone is equal and that anyone can become a success, then have everybody start from the same place. All inheritance gets remitted to the state to pay for the social programs and you get to keep what you earn with minimal taxation.

            Then we would see how well the top 1% could cope in real society.

          • Beanball

            I know quite a few of these "social elites," and I can assure you that they're spoiled, selfish, greedy, ignorant, lazy and clueless about the world. None of them would make it in a blue collar job through to the first coffee break.

            Let's raise the Death Tax to 100%. L'égalité et de fraternité!

        • TunaIndustryPaybacks

          I've a fairly large group of aquaintances who are log-term stay-at-home housewives. It's interesting to me that the vast majority of them spend their days playing Farmvile and bitching about the government, taxes, socialism and esp. about the lazy leeches sucking off all us hard working Merikans.

          They are completely oblivious to the fact that they contribute very little to nothing into the social security trust fund during their lifetime(s), yet you bet your ass they'll be collecting/do collect that SS check every month. Whenever I've pointed this out, they go into complete denial and claim their husbands must have "extra" SS deducted from their paychecks. Gah.

    • Mindblank

      Agreed. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the waters of the Perrier. Viva la France!

    • anniegetyourfun

      I think you just gave me a socialism boner.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    I like how you write "teat," Sara.

  • edgydrifter

    Yes, they certainly are lazy. So lazy that they actually get off their derrieres and petition le gouvernement (albeit a bit dramatically) to redress their grievances. And pussies? Oo-la-la, such pussies! In their cowardice and moral bankruptcy they risk their livelihoods to tell Sarko and their employers where they can crammez lez walnuts.

    Those stinky frogs should behave like the brave and industrious American worker, who will pee in a cup upon demand at the office to keep his job, and who drinks himself to sleep at night with the television reminding him that his is the best country in the world, dammit, and that he should just HTFU and stop wishing he could take his kid to the doctor or afford to fix the brakes on his '87 Ford Taurus. Fuck the French, indeed.

    • fuflans

      i feel compelled to point out that drinking oneself to sleep is a time honored international tradition.

    • sarabenincasa

      Waaaah, waaah, waaah, they have parfum in their veins where blood should be.

  • neiltheblaze

    You mean we DON'T have the right to set things on fire?

    There goes my Jonah Goldberg book burning.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    I see the Gay Pride Union is in on this as well.

  • Radiotherapy

    Napoleon Dyno-Mite!!!

    • Extemporanus

      ♪♫ It was Napoleon's penis, Napoleon's penis
      There wasn't much between us, just Napoleon's penis…

  • Neilist

    Yeah, those Fucking French.


    First of all, they have the gall (or if you prefer, "gaul") to be right about warning God's Nation not to get involved in local wars, e.g., Vietnam, Iraq.

    Second, when the conservatives in the Frog "government" reduce social welfare/benefit spending, those "Froggies" actually get out in the streets to try to do something about it, rather than sitting on their asses in their mother's basements or cubical farms and "protesting" via blogs like Wonkette.com.

    Third, their First Lady doesn't have a Boot-Tay 1/5th wide as that on the current FLOTUS.

    Also, she's NOT a lawyer.

    Croissant, anyone?

    [Frog firearms, however, are, by-and-large, Avis de Merde. Although the old MAT-49 submachine gun was sort of interesting. It was good enough that Mattel made a plastic toy copy:

    Before Mattel starting making the M-16, that is. ]

    Oh, and they have national anthem that one actually can sing.

    Viva La Francis!

    • sarabenincasa

      What is this attempt at dissing Michelle Obama's ass?

      • Neilist

        Well, Balaam's ass has already been beaten.

        And I can't think of another speaking animal off the top of my head, even among the Children of Ham.

        And FLOTUS, under any reasonable estimation, have a Big Booty.

        [Hey, I don't make up the facts. I just distort them.]

        Department of Lies, Damn Lies, and Benjamin Disraeli

        P.S. I still LOVE you, Sara.

        Even though you are too young for me.

        Too attractive, too, come to think of it.

        Also, probably to smart.

        Am I leaving anything out?

        :::Sobbing In The Corner, As Though His Very Heart Would BREAK::::

        Oh, well. There's always the stalking. And the guns.

      • LibrulEleet

        Michelle has a cute black ass. It's one of the reasons I voted for her husband.

      • Lost_Teabaggers

        Yeah I'm going to side with Sarah here…you had me until you attacked the FLOTUS booty which I happen to think is most marvelous…if I had my chintzy white glove I'd slap you upside the head as a challenge ala Zell Miller (only in my case it's not because you like Tweety insulted that angry lemon sucker Malkin) for attacking a real woman's derriere in favor of a chick who's diet consists of cocaine, cigarettes and starvation. Seriously though if you had a xylophone you could play Carla Bruni's exposed spine and have quite a raucus tune. More Michelle Obama and Sara Benincasa (and for aging ex-super models Tyra Banks big boobs and matching round booty) round booties and less Carla Bruni and Kate Moss super waif for me, please.

        (Disclaimer: I know I'm several hours late to the dance but I work full tume and attend school so eat it….and yes, full disclosure I'm one year from law school so that explains my objection to your blanket slapdown of all lawyers in favor of human clothes hangers…seriously, what skill aside from giving good head does Cala Bruni even have?)

        • Neilist

          "seriously, what skill aside from giving good head does Cala Bruni even have?"

          I'm sorry. But I find that question completely unintelligible.

          As would most men. Even the homos.

          Neilist Le Neilist
          Charge de AFFAIRS
          Froggie Emb-ASS-Y
          Washington. A.C./D.C.

    • mumbly_joe

      Frog firearms, however, are, by-and-large, Avis de Merde

      Although, the Belgian ones are pretty great, non?

      Once again proving that if you're going to visit France, you might as well pass through the low-lying countries on your way over there.

      ::Can occasionally be a bigger asshole than Neilist, but only on a good day::

      • Neilist

        "Belgium: The Doormat of Europe."

        About every generation or so, the Germans go through the Flems to get to the French.

        And the French always go, "Mon Deiu! Le Boche came through Belgium AGAIN!"

        Fucking French.

        (Oh, and stop talking about the size of FLOTUS's "asshole." This is a family blog.)

    • Katydid

      I like big butts and I cannot lie
      You other brothers can't deny
      That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
      And a round thing in your face
      You get sprung, wanna pull up front
      'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
      Deep in the jeans she's wearing
      I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
      Oh baby, I wanna get with you
      And take your picture
      My homeboys tried to warn me
      But that butt you got makes me so horny
      Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin

      I'm tired of magazines
      Sayin' flat butts are the thing
      Take the average black man and ask him that
      She gotta pack much back
      So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
      Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
      Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
      Shake that healthy butt!
      Baby got back!

      So I'm lookin' at rock videos
      Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
      You can have them bimbos
      I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

      So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
      If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
      Then turn around! Stick it out!
      Even white boys got to shout
      Baby got back!

      Oh, and Neilist…you're an asshole.

    • Negropolis

      What the fuck are you of all people doing defending the French? you're as silly as you've ever been.

      • zhubajie

        Hey, doesn't "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity" sound better than "Bend Over and Spread Your Cheeks"???

      • Neilist

        Much as I hate the French, the Germans make the Frogs look civilized.

    • Plowmon

      C'mon, Frog arms are interesting, especially from the paunchy, middle-aged white guy watching History Channel point of view. When it comes to dealing with Le Boche, don't blame the Frog's guns, blame their generals…

      • GOPCrusher

        French weapons are great. They've only been thrown down once!

        • Plowmon

          Yes but with a lot of panache…

  • x111e7thst

    I don't remember setting any cars on fire, but I think I did throw some stuff at some cops while yelling at LBJ about the number of kids he killed today. Good times.

    • Radiotherapy

      One year, after Ohio State beat Michigan, some kids on High Street set a bus on fire.
      Lame, I know, but the Columbus cops were total pricks. And I was a little late to the real show.

  • Extemporanus

    Le petit coquin déteste le Coquin®?

    Quelle ironie!

  • Limeylizzie

    I was watching MSNBC and Dylan Ratigan had on the wonderful Johann Hari from the Independent, and he was schooling everyone on why the Tea Party's Wet dream, as he referred to all this mad cutting of the social services in France and esp.UK, was a disaster waiting to happen, it was fanfuckingtastic . Don't have the clip but really worth finding, he answers every single nonsensical piece of shit that the Right thinks makes fiscal sense.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Just watched it and it is indeed fanfuckingtastic. You know what else is going to be fanfuckingtastic? Watching those teatards living at or near the poverty line having to deal with the impending economic morass they're so looking forward to.

      • GOPCrusher

        Watch them lose their fucking minds, when the Hoverround Subsidy gets cut from Medicare.

  • slappypaddy

    "Any self-respecting American works until he or she dies of the diabetes at 87, right there at the Wal-Mart cash register, and then an addlepated greeter hustles the body out of sight. Not so for the disgusting French!"

    and this is why we win all of our wars and rule the world. never forget!!1!!!

    • GOPCrusher

      True story.
      Bought some ammunition at my local Wal-Mart and it took Methuselah 45 minutes to check me out, because I wrote a check.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Maybe the rioters sang the second and third verses of "La Marseilles" and took them seriously:

    This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
    What do they want?
    For whom these vile shackles,
    These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
    Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
    What emotions that must excite!
    It is us that they dare to consider
    Returning to ancient slavery!

    Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
    The disgrace of all groups,
    Tremble! Your parricidal plans
    Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
    Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
    If they fall, our young heros,
    France will make more,
    Ready to battle you!

    • Jukesgrrl

      "If they fall, our young heros,
      France will make more,"

      So they even have sex written into their national anthem? Très cool.

  • Sheesko

    Oh Sara, I love it when you speak Frahnch.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    I am for retirement at the age of 49.

    • PocketsTheClown

      Is that metric retirement?

  • SarcasticNymph

    This nation of fucking pussies, which once slaughtered its finest bewigged elite and called this murderous rampage a victory for democracy, cannot handle that its unwashed masses are on strike.

    Food's good, though.

    • CapnFatback

      This nation of fucking pussies,

      . . . under covers, indefatigable, with limber tease and happy endings for all.


  • Lascauxcaveman

    Dear Ms. Sara,

    Your collection of over-the-top, ridiculous euro-stereotypes is just about the funniest thing you've written here. Just wanted you to know we appreciate it.

    (Kinda funny that I'm the first one to say that on this thread, some fifty comments down, since usually every time you post something, the comments are an unreadable avalanche of accolades to your wit.)

    I guess the honeymoon's over; but I didn't want you to feel we're taking you for granted.

    • Beetagger

      Amen. This belongs in the Wonkette Hall of Fame.

    • sarabenincasa

      Thank you, you fucking French cavedweller!!!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And yes, we love it when you talk dirty.

        (PS – Now that I go back ad read it; it's not obvious, but my original comment was sincere, not sarcastic. I LOL'd.)

        • Sgt_Biyatch

          I was laughing out loud. This is probably one of the funniest Wonkette posts ever.*

          * Where "ever" = since I began reading 20 months ago.

  • mrbubb

    "…chasing the nearest impish red balloon to their twee jobs as bakers and candlestick makers and organ-grinders."

    I nominate the divine Sara B. for this year's Pulitzer prize for blogging and assfuckery.

  • chascates

    Marijuana is considered a major drug in France so what's the point in hanging around there?

    • Crank_Tango

      on the upside, hashish is known as "le shit," so there's that.

    • zhubajie

      French backpackers go to SE Asia for le opium.

  • mavenmaven

    I understand that the French Foreign Minister, Johnny Hallyday, personally called Sarah Palin to update her on the situation.

    • Lucidamente1

      And praise the documentary on her life, "Nailin' Palin."

  • PsycWench

    In related news, there were more protests when the French supermarket senior citizen discount age was raised to 37 from 35.

  • PublicLuxury

    Maybe we should take a look at the Cliff's Notes of the French…

    Perhaps if more of took to the streets to scream at tea party supporters we could make international news too. I ready to burn a car or two. I don't mind closing down the Jack in the Box on the corner. The Goddamn stink from the French Fries is nauseating. Show Jack who's the boss. Work over the tea party menace. Play some Country Joe and the Fish and a few Joplin tunes and we're there.

  • ttommyunger

    I can't wait to hear the little piggies squeal when the shoe is pinching the other foot; the one in the $800 loafers. Oh, it's coming; and not just in Europe.

  • witsendnj

    When I was in French class, as a college freshperson, the prof asked another student what color my hair was. Brun, was the reply. The prof looked horrified. Non non non! C'est marron! What is marron?


    Oh, that's when I figured out why the French are known such great lovers…it's twoo, it's twoo…

  • rocktonsam

    Those Frenchies got a lot of pluck.

    Until they quit .

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Were the comments just in an other dimension – or did I drink too much wine this evening?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Nom d'un chien – after watching that DSCC anti-Chinese ad I felt dirty; after reading this post I feel like I should be sprayed down with an eau-de-cologne cannon by a hazmat squad.

  • CapeClod

    "I git rid of ze gypcees and ziz is ze thanks I get."

    Nicholas Sarkozy

  • foog

    You Yanquis are all just jealous. The Frogs get health care, shit-tonnes of time off as paid vacations, and a kick-ass social safety net. Add two years to the mandatory retirement age and they fucking well take to the streets en masse . Meanwhile, you elect a centre-right "progressive" who barely manages to pass a watered down insurance-company-friendly health care bill, and he's pilloried as a Marxist bent on the destruction of 'merica! Sacre bleu!

    • sarabenincasa

      Haha, you spelled everything wrong, in the foreign way.

    • celeryflesh

      Last night Lawrence O'Donnell's show was about boosting the Cat Food Commission. He had on a bunch of Democrats like Bill Bradley and Gary Hart to say that we have to cut Social Security – all agreeing that we can't make serious cuts to the so-called "Defense Department." We can afford to subsidize the nuclear power industry and all kinds of other destructive, threatening things, but we can't afford to invest in the people and the infrastructure we need. Now that we see more of O'Donnell, who I liked a lot, the more I see he is just one more of them, like Bradley or Hart. All part of the elaborate herding process that helps trick out our political process as a "democracy" while channelling debate so as to avoid what would really work.

  • metamarcisf

    Conserative: What's the first thing an American hears when he sets foot in France?
    Liberal: I give up.

  • Maman

    Mes enfants parlent le français comme un Parisien, sucer des perdants!

  • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

    They have sublime food, wine, perfume, fashion, scenery, art AND they riot. They get off their asses and strike. They protest over things we go meh like the little sheep we are. As long as the ruffians leave the Guerlain and Chanel shops alone, I am okay.
    I am gonna say it. Those "surrender-monkeys" have more balls than Americans (Truck Nutz don't count, Bubba.)

  • Negropolis

    Can I just say that Sara Benincasa is so full of win with this one? The existential poetry about the monkey was beautifully rib-splitting, as was the reference to the WallyWorld greeters hustling the dead body out of sight.

  • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    How about that? A society that still hasn't managed to crush the spirit of its working people, or hoodwink them against their own interests.

    Easy to forget, 'round these parts, what that looks like.

    • celeryflesh


  • MiniMencken

    I sleep till noon if I want to, then I can pull on some casual clothes and drive my paid-for-in-cash-at the-dealership V-8 Mercedes-Benz 800 yards to a Starbucks for a nice $4.00 coffee, then I return come home and look at Wonkette on my 27" screen iMac and write snarky things, and I still would rather live in France. What, in God's name, are these people protesting? Or, should I be asking, what are the T-tards protesting? Or????

    • Numbat_Dundee

      They’re protesting an attempt to make FRance like America. N’est-ce pas?

  • Beanball

    That $4 cup of coffee is $10 Amero in Paris. A closet in Montmarte is $500,000 and a parking space is $90,000.

    Other than that, I'd be on the next Air France flight tout d'suite.

    • Surprised_Still

      Don't live in Paris. It's overrated in the first place. I live in the South West and pay less than 200 euro a month for rent. Coffee is 1 Euro or less. Small cups though….

      • Beanball

        No shit? Send me the details. I'm packing right now.

        Wait a minute. "South West"? There's where the sheep are, right? And &lt;shudder&gt; Fascist Spain right next door? I was thinking more like a chateau/maison on the Loire – they actually are going for less than a broom closet in Paris.

        • Surprised_Still

          That was a typo. Actually I live in the East. So I'm closer to the rapey-perv Berlesconi and Jerkel Merkel than Franco. Honestly, I'm a bit dyslexic, but anyway. My rent is actually 580 euro, but the government gives me 350 a month for rent, b/c I'm a student; you know, normal. So, it works out.

  • Surprised_Still

    No one here (France) retires at 60.
    Without full pention benefits it's almost pointless. So this move was pretty unnecessary and really only served to piss off just about everyone. I go to a polisci school here, and there are pamphlets and speeches almost everyday (by students, who don't want to work until 62 or older by that time) against this bill. Not to mention the massive rail shutdowns and assorted protests in nearly every city.

    Sarko has always been an enemy of the youth and it seems like he wants to continue the trend. We should support the people as much as we can.

  • zhubajie

    I hope she's elected! I hope all the T-tards get elected! Time for a Time of comic Troubles!

  • zhubajie

    "Oh, and they have national anthem that one actually can sing."

    Yes, and the words are savage and bloodthirsty and ought to put the fear of the masses into a Hungarian aristo like Sarco.

  • zhubajie

    When I saw that heading, I thought it was going to be about T-tards, not French strikers!

  • Numbat_Dundee

    I’ve been follwing this quite closely because, frankly, it’s the most exciting thing to happen for a while. Also if the insurgent poipulace win, maybe Carla will need some comforting..
    Anyway…Apparently the confederation of philosophy teachers in Lille have taken the initiative to start a collection to support the striking oil workers.
    Presumably they’ll hand it over as soon as a tree falls in a nearby forest (thereby distracting the existential authorities).

  • Mindblank

    All I have to say is Viva la Fucking France.

  • thefrontpage

    But let's still celebrate the fact that the country gave us Bridgette Bardot, Francois Trauffaut (sp?), Marcel Marcel (sp?), other mimes, those long bread things, escargot, the Eiffel Tower, lots of nudity in 1960s and 1970s French movies, French kissing, French Fries, and French Toast.

    • zhubajie

      Ms Bardot has turned into the French equivalent of a Tea Tard, unfortunately, fruitlessly lecturing the Koreans about how they shouldn't eat dogs, etc. Hasn't gotten fat in her old age, though.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    And to think our infirm and morbidly obese were rioting cause we wanted health care for everyone.

  • NotYerGaryBusey

    "Well it was bad enough the feeling, and the first time it hit
    When you realised your parents had let the world all go to shit
    And that the values and ideals for which many had fought and died
    Had been killed off in the committees and left to die by the wayside
    But it was worse when we turned to the kids on the left
    And got let down again by some poor excuse for protest
    Yeah by idiot fucking hippies in 50 different factions
    Who are locked inside some kind of 60's battle re-enactment
    And I hung-up my banner in disgust and I head for the door"
    -Frank Turner

  • CEMClary

    French are not lazy. They defend their interests and refuse be exploited by men who know nothing of the simple everyday life. How to accept all the wanted concessions while our rich government members spend time wasting the money of the taxpayers. And the pension(retreat)? Life is already rather painful as it as well for the old men as for the young people. The old men live with few money, not to say in the poverty, while they worked for a long time. As for the young people, they have difficulties in finding a work at the release of the school. Let us call back an employment becomes a rare foodstuff. I am for the revolution if it allows to improve the everyday life of citizens. We are not sheeps then let us wake up and let us act!

  • Neilist

    Too Leonard Cohen for me.

    I like this version:

  • Limeylizzie

    That's it, I have to say I agree with pretty much all he said. This link to the Guardian has an interesting article on it and who it affects the most.http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/oct/21/spending-review-cuts-will-hit-poorest-harder-says-ifs

  • Limeylizzie

    That's it, I have to say I agree with pretty much all he said. This link to the Guardian has an interesting article on it and who it affects the most.http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/oct/21/spending-review-cuts-will-hit-poorest-harder-says-ifs

  • Beanball

    How much is that in Internets?