'It's such an ancient pitch, But one I wouldn't switch, 'cause there's no nicer witch than you .... 'Delaware masturbation witch and constitutional scholar Christine O’Donnell finally did another teevee interview! It is super boring, but we’ll post it just in case you (like most Americans) have a lot of time on your hands. Better to watch a dull ABC News interview with jobless sex activist Christine O’Donnell rather than let your idle hands be led by the devil to your genitals! Because that is certainly not one of the “Five Guys’ Freedoms” in the amendment thingy O’Donnell learned about at Hogwarts. But does she regret the ridiculous “I’m not a witch” commercial that provided America with so much comedy during these long last weeks of the midterm campaign? Yes she does! More importantly, she has been thinking a lot about her Halloween costume.

Here’s the ABC interview; you’ll want to skip to the last 25 seconds:

See, she doesn’t want to encourage this witchcraft stuff, now that she’s running as a teabagger jesus gal! She wants to kill the witch! Kill it dead!

This means she will not be a witch for Halloween, because that’s as stupid as Count Dracula being a vampire for Halloween. Instead, she will dress as “Dorothy,” the wholesome non-witch from the Depression-era documentary The Wizard of Oz. This is a thing people do, when they practice the Dark Arts: Sometimes, for a laugh, they will dress as the Pope or Dorothy or whatever, Haha let’s all of us devil monsters make fun of the good things in life, such as Jesus and Dorothy!

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