Oh, the Democrat in the U.S. Senate Christine O’Donnell would work well with would be Hillary Clinton! That’s very interesting. You see, Christine O’Donnell somehow knows she will be allowed on the Committee on Foreign Relations. This would certainly be a smart move by the Republican leadership, putting all their insular Teabagging troglodytes on that committee. Those people will at the very least be praised in the news media for their, umm, novel insights into how to deal with other countries. But wait! A minute and a half after the question is asked, Christine O’Donnell has miraculously remembered the surname of an actual current senator, Lieberman, which she then blurts out in the middle of Chris Coons’ statement! Democracy lives!
You can just see the wheels turning in O’Donnell’s head when Coons is speaking. She just has to remember the name of a senator! Here’s a transcript of what went through her head:
Who had this job before? Low Hiding? No, that’s not a human name. Ho Biding? Ho Biding. Ho Biden? Joe Bidens! That’s it! Senator Joe Bidens! But he’s not in the Senate either… Hmm… Chris… Chris… Christine O’Donnell! Wait, no, that’s my name. Think, Christine. Chris… Chris Coooons… CHRIS BERMAN! CHRIS BERMAN! That’s a name of somebody! I don’t know who that is, though. Is he even in the Senate? I have no idea. Maybe I should just lie and make up a name. WAIT. Lie… Chris Berman… Lie Berman? Lie Berman! That’s a Senator! Senator Lie Berman! There we go. Now blurt it ouuuuuttttt… NOW!
It’s like that movie, A Beautiful Mind. [Think Progress]
{ 158 comments }
Her mind IS beautiful – if you're a comedy writer. Thank you, Jesus!
The problem is that all the other Tea Bag candidates are like this, but they are not behind, so they don't have to answer questions.
People need to learn that people that hate government usually can't govern. Having them be crazy is not going to help.
All she knows is fuck nancy pelosi and the broom she flew in on. Nancy Pelosi is still in the senate right? Or Parliament? The congress? is that what this one is called, wait, the continental congress maybe? National Assembly? Shit, I dunno, but REAGAN!!!
the broom's the fucker. ask any witch.
I thought Pelosi was the leader of the Supreme Soviet
This is news? if she could SPELL "senate," that would be news.
Uh oh. Her answers are consistently dumb. She still hasn't accidentally sounded smart — even once! If she starts wearing shorter skirts, higher heels, and maybe an exposed holster with a gun, she might get more popular than Sarah.
She needs a better makeup consultant. Too boring.
If she had an exposed holster with a gun under that shorter skirt, I'd be fer questioning that whole anti-masturbation campaign…
Like a middle school student learning to use a Thesaurus… Accidentally sounding smart and very stupid all in the same paragraph.
jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine.
I'd like to hear Patti Smith debate Christine, too. Great idea.
I have no proper exclamation that matches this concept. Perhaps "Holy Assfuck".
I would fly to Delaware for that debate, even if my arms got tired and I had to use a plane. Upfists for da bodaya.
And the angels wept
Like she knows dick about cap & trade. Other than that Chris could use a cap to ward off the glare.
Or as Sarah calls it, Cap and Tax. But remember always, to include Tort Reform! That sounds important!
Why does everyone want to reform tortes? My bakery makes great tortes and I like them the way they are.
Republicans just love it because its easily pronounceable and alliterative.
TORT re FORM
TORT re FORM
TORT re FORM
Gulldernit ma, let's vote.
Yes. Hillary Clinton is doing an amazing job, according to Christine O'Donnell. So that Hillary comment apparently wasn't cleared by the Tea Bagger committee on foreign relations so she'll be backtracking from that little goof on Hannity by this time tomorrow.
You get the feeling when she says "Cap and Trade", she really is talking about putting on a Trading Cap, like a Financial Wizard…
O'Donnell probably thinks Cap'n Trade is Cap'n Crunch's uncle.
I bet she has a sweet visor that she wears when she's playing Texas Hold 'Em. Or Keno. Yeah, Keno.
Funny, I peg her more as a "Go Fish" type.
Sorry, Christine, you have to hit the buzzer first. And the correct answer is…. "Who Is" Joe Lieberman?
Actually, I'm getting a response from our judges here, stand by. No, I'm sorry Christine. Joe Lieberman is an independent. Your answer was incorrect.
I'll take Constitutional Law for a hundred, Pat.
And, of course, he belongs to the Connecticut for Lieberdouche Party…which just about says it all.
I have to work with other people??? Well, fuck that. I thought I would be alone in the senate. The only person most important no matter what. Who the fuck makes up these rules? Do you think I look like a princess? Princesses don't like capn trade. Capn Crunch is good I like him. He's a naughty pirate and he touched my special place once and I screamed. Then his mighty sword Cheney is in the senate, right? I like Hillary cause it is a boy's name too. I'm a Princess. Look at me. See I'm cute. I should rub against this …
Christine? Chirstine we have to move on …
Aargh! Yah Cap'n Crunch is a mighty good pirate, indeed!
Good . . . good . . . she's remembering it all coming from that poser Crunch. Just as I planned . . .
"I have to work with other people? Well, fuck that…."
Ha! And here she had us thinking that she was staunchly against "solo projects."
And that is why so many tea baggers dress up like the Cruncher during their Glenn Beck piss fest re-enactments.
The other Mama Grizzly thought that as Vice President, she would be in charge of the Senate. Can we send these two bitches back to 8th grade to, you know, brush up?
Do you know how bad they would be for the self esteem of those nubile pre-teens?
All pregnant and self-loathing by 9th grade.
"All pregnant and self-loathing by 9th grade."
It's the American Way. God bless Amurrika!!
Pretty sure it'd be the first time through for Palin, cuz she prolly quit. Tap dance recital, don't you know.
Cap'n Trade? Isn't that the guy who took Cap'n Kangaroo's place on Saturday morning TV?
i bet she spells it just like that too, or "cappin' trade."
These debates give you the idea that lack of payment wasn't the only issue with her finishing college.
I get the idea that she sexed her way through school. A horizontal education that didn't expand anything other than her secret garden.
She has a rabbit-like overbite . It looks like the overbite of baby who sucks too many pacifiers …except in her case it's the cocks.
Yeah, I'm feeling like that's a garden that is overgrown with weeds. And aphids.
I think Christ Coons shows remarkable respect. She deserves derision and he's being a gentleman.
Like Rachel's guest last night said, "She's baby Palin." She's not winking yet… but soon
Once Dick Durbin unveils his new puddin'-cup beard, Christine will become extremely comfortable working with him.
And she won the primary ! Hahahahahahahahahaha…jeezus fucking christ .
But the minute she get's something right. the press will throw a parade and declare her a "genius, smarter than Obama." Then the dumb ass swing voters will switch again. I hate swing voters.
I really hope Hillary does run, in 2016. It will be fun watching these republican-teabag, female candidates (desperately pandering to any PUMA's), get whiplash as their "respect" and "admiration" for Hillary morphs her back into to the ice queen, murdering bitch faster than you can say Vince Foster.
That's what you would have seen in 2008, if Hillary had won the nomination.
i wonder how different our lives would be now if she had…. *dream sequence sounds*
Joe Lieberman isn't "across the aisle" but on an island by himself, isolated by the repellent odor of vinegar and hemorrhoid cream.
I thought it was formaldehyde and moth balls.
Either or, it strongly resembles Walnutz breath…
Very nice.
You're right about that. He seems like the kind of guy that would mix a little vinegar in the hemorrhoid cream just for the "kick".
I think that Coons guy would luv an endorsement from that Castle guy. And how am I so hopeless that I missed that Fort Worth Councilman's speech?
Anyhoo–if Delaware doesn't appreciate Christine, I know the okies would love her so she'll always have a chance at a career down here. She makes as much sense as Coburn and Inhofe. And okies just love stupid women, hence my many, many detractors.
Low Hiding? No that’s not a human name. Ho Biding? Ho Biding. Ho Biden? Joe Bidens! That’s it! Senator Joe Bidens!…
This is, without question, some of the finest wordsmithery in the History of the Wonket. I congratulate you, sir.
I'm sure Harry Reid is part of her script, does she think he's a Whig or something?
Shit, every day reveals a new example of Vagina Dentata being ridiculously stupid while Yale Divinity just, y'know, acts all normal and non-batshit insane.
V.D. is cold blanketing the Philadelphia teevee and radio stations with ads. You have to, since here in the 302 we don't really have our own teevee stations. The funny thing is that she is so batshit nuts, and her ads so bad ("Chris Coons IS The Taxman" is only marginally less funny than "I'm You") that her huge media blitz is apparently HELPING Joe Sleestak, who has pulled ahead or even to Toomey in three straight polls after being way down. Thanks, V.D.!
Meanwhile, Y.D. is just kind of hanging out and being all Yale-y, divine, and Senatorial while V.D. provides multiple laffs a day for everyone.
Mike Castle must be all, "The fuck, I lost to THIS?" right now.
But as W.C. Fields said, "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadephia". Question: what do the stars of "It's Always Sunny…" think about this slew of horrid campaign ads?
Haha. Fuck Mike Castle.
I'm sure everything she knows about Foreign Relations she learned from eating tacos and french fries.
And she supports the proposed constitutional amendment to rename them "Freedom Fries" under penalty of forfeiting citizenship
'Eating tacos' is some sort of sexual code, isn't it? I am hip to all this intarwebs stuff.
Joe Miller has too much stubble to just 'eat' a taco. That guy just cold burns 'em.
So she doesn't think she needs to know the wording of the Constitution or how the Supreme Court has interpreted it or the names of any other senators, at least in the opposition party. Is there anything this woman thinks maybe she SHOULD know if she gets the job?
Oh, and Christine? Neither of you will be casting a vote for cap & trade this November because whoever wins doesn't get sworn in until January. You don't get elected on Tuesday and show up in the Senate chamber to start work on Wednesday. Not that you're going to need to know that either.
I'm mystified that the audiences in her Q&A sessions are comforted that she would base all her decisions on the constitutionality of the matter.
I thought she was supposed to base her decisions in consideration and will of her constituents that put her in office?
The Constitution, yes, Supreme Court decisions – fuck THOSE.
This is the same woman paid for a plane ticket to the Republican National Convention because she knew she would be the keynote speaker (Giuliani? Has been!). If she were elected she probably would show up at the Senate chamber on Wednesday, media in tow.
I blame Reagan for the poor state of mental health care in this country.
I'm sure she feels no pressure to learn any of it. I mean, she is where she is today without knowing and so is John Boehner. If that's not enough to scare ya, then nothing will!
Ok would one, or more, of you male Wonkettes just shove your cock(S) in this cunt's mouth or up her bum, just make her shut up. Thanking you in advance , I am somewhere over Ohio and have had a couple of cocktails.
No.
Ed Flintstone takes one step…back.
Are you suggesting she's talking out her ass?
Hullo up there! Can you see my house?
How about mine? The roof is brown.
Do you live in Hatch Creek State Forest? According to Virgin America's little journey tracker thingy,we are now above there and moving eastward at 594 mph.
The current crop of female reptards has made me totally rethink my formerly useful policy of hate-fucking.
Sadly, no. I need my partners to be either attractive or intelligent (both would be nice, please), and preferably have a personality that doesn't make me want to chop her up and feed her to pigs. Puddin' Face O'Donnell's intellect is on par with a lump of cheese and every word she speaks makes me rethink my pacifism. So no, even if it were on fire and the only way to put it out were a little slap and tickle with Christine, I would not put my cock anywhere near or in that woman. I'd rather weep at the blistered and crispy stump.
Pass.
Have you heard what she says about gay people? She sounds like a closet case, so you're probably asking the wrong gender.
Sorry – gay here.
Faced with COD, we are all gay here.
Wait a second! I thought the straight male Wonkettes had previously established that the crazier she is the better she is in the sack?? Has this trollop finally broken the curse of insanity=HAWT??
Depends on the kind of crazy; hardcore Christian girls are usually lay back while the guy does all the work types.
Nuh-uh. However, I wouldn't fuck her because shutting her up may help her win the election. And if she becomes a sentaor none of us will have a chance with her.
You must be on the slowest DC-3 still in inventory.
Well, it's about a six hour flight from LA to JFK, but am now at home in New York. And it appears that Christine O'Donnell is a cunt too far for the straight, male Wonketeers! I thought you liked the crazy womens??
Well, it's about a six hour flight from LA to JFK, but am now at home in New York. And it appears that Christine O'Donnell is a cunt too far for the straight, male Wonketeers! I thought you liked the crazy womens??
I'll do it if she dresses up like a witch, and bristol plain joins in wearing the gorilla costume. It will be weird, but at least Carl Paladino can enjoy the video when he is not governor.
OK
Good man, Transfatz!
I am somewhere over Ohio and have had a couple of cocktails
Got to say it: Ohio is one lucky-ass dude.
or a bunch of us ladiiiiez with some halloween-themed dildos. wonkette commenters ladies' night? anyone?
Yes, Wonkette's Female Auxillary with huge strap-ons….I'm with you .
Yes, Wonkette's Female Auxillary with huge strap-ons….I'm with you .
Yes, Wonkette's Female Auxillary with huge strap-ons….I'm with you .
Okay. I'll do it, but all of you owe me.
You, sir or madam, are a fine and proud Wonketteer, it will be a nasty job, you will have to go into dry, dusty, musty caverns but you will be doing it for the good of all.
You, sir or madam, are a fine and proud Wonketteer, it will be a nasty job, you will have to go into dry, dusty, musty caverns but you will be doing it for the good of all.
She's just tryin' to be like Mama Grizzly: remember when Snowbilly Grifter herself said that the Vice President is "in charge of the U.S. Senate" (her take on Article I, section 3's "The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate"); for yucks see http://thinkprogress.org/2008/10/21/palin-vp-sena...
She's experimenting with being a U.S. Senator and a constitutional thinker the same way she experimented with Satanic Blood Sacrifice, Hari Krishna and PCP.
Christian Rocker Pudding Cup Beard Tractor Rider, WHY won't you make her an honest woman!??!
He's probably holding out for a broad who can get a job.
"Well, the names that immediately come to mind are Senators Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, and, of course Happy. Without them I never would have made it out there in the woods, so very lost and frightened. It didn't matter that they were Dwarfocrats; we lived together, in harmony. Also, they would help me to get a bill passed that would increase safety regulations within the mining industry, because, they were miners before they were senators. I know that they would, because I cold humped those four sawed-offs , humped them like a redundant camel. Dopey had a long frock for a reason! Oh, wait. Was that out loud? I want some juice."
Should we be mildly concerned here? Wasn't Palin just as blatantly stupid two years ago? Vapid, vacuous, but with a cult following. Can't answer a simple question. A closet full of skeletons.
Fuck, in two years, what? Pudding beard is gonna be on DWTS? She's the VP candidate?
For sure, she'll have millions in her fat ass pockets.
It's funny in a Chan-wook Park movie sort of way. "Hahahahaha, look at the blood squirt…wait, am I supposed to laugh at that? "
It's interesting that being a DWTS contestant is on par with being a VP candidate
I love that the Coonster™ has a handful of answers, all based on Senators who have reached across the aisle in order to try and get shit done. Whereas Sabrina's answer is based on that person not having a dick.
Actually, persons considering that she named Lieberman too.
I read it in the New Yorker or somewhere. We literally don't think in words any more, because of tee vee. A candidate could say " Hummela hummela, bummela bummela, meow, meow, meow," and Chuck Todd would say "She's appealing here to suburban women and comes across as very likeable" also.
And very well might have, back in her experimental witch period.
"Hummela hummela, bummela bummela, meow, meow, meow"
Bedknobs & Broomsticks? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Mary Poppins?
Straight outta my ass!
Then I'll hop on GarageBand and comp up a little demo ditty. I'm seeing Hugh Jackman and a flock of magical cockney orphans.
Hillary Clinton!!! Hillary Clinton!!! If that isn't the biggest fucking Freudian Slip anyone has ever committed. Hillary Clinton without a doubt can be counted amongst the Neo-Cons (with a Democratic Party tinge) who are responsible for the keeping the country on this suicidal course. Remember? Hillary was married to that guy that gave you NAFTA. Who gave you the repeal of Glass/Steagall. Who told you and still tells you to this day that Merkins need to retrain themselves to prepare themselves for the service jobs of the future that will replace all of the manufacturing jobs that middle class Americans used to have that are now being performed overseas by workers working at 1/20th the pay of their former American counterparts. How did that all work out for ya, middle class America? Thank you very much President Clinton. Thank you also President Clinton for selling your soul to the Wall Street devils led by Robert Rubin and Company which ultimately led to the sorry state of today's economy.
So, if you're looking for who the real Christine O'Donnell is, she is one who aligns herself with the same line of corporate sell-outs that we have had leading this country for the last 30 years, beginning with Ronny Raygun and ending with Dubbya. Now, the question is, will Obama grow some balls and say, "enough is enough" with this onslaught against the American Middle Class, against the American Labor Movement, against working people all around the world, or won't he.
Tea Party, my ass.
Don't sugar coat it, tell us how you really feel.
I'm guessing Obama doesn't give a fuck about labor. he did this conference call with AFL-CIO big wigs before the election. They were so excited to have this conference and talk and be heard – and Obama basically gave a five minute speech and hung up on them. It was sad really. Said it all about that relationship.
Gawd, if you don't ever need a good hooker right about now. What crawled and got stuck up your ass, dude?
I dunno. I guess the death of Barbara Billingsley has me longing for the good ol' days of Leave it to Beaver here in America.
Well played!
Obviously, the epic fail of the Teabagger incarnate Sarah Palin has not served as a lesson to the ensuing wingnut political neophytes coalescing around a angry white christian minority backlash of a progressive agenda.
You would think that there is actually a Fellowship program out there in some obscure conservative think tank titled: "What Would Sarah Do, & How Not to Do it."
Learning things like what the Founding Fathers intended with designing the Constitution the way they did, why the Amendment process is necessary, what the Legislative, Executive and Judicial branches are, naming at least one sitting Supreme Court Justice and perhaps, maybe, a recent decision you like or dislike. Or a piece of legislation your opponent supports or doesn't that you would do the opposite with.
Seriously. This isn't that hard. Look at us, we all invest so much into this timesuck that is the Internets with the overload of blogs and social networking. I mean, we don't get paid for this shit and yet here we are, day in and day out – and maybe still meet our obligations to work and family.
The heart of the Tea Party movement (read electric mobility scooters) may be authentic but it is the ugliest and fringiest offset of what the GOP represents. You've got the foulest and most brilliant free market sociopaths exploiting the lowest IQ patriots dependent on government safety nets moreso than these proverbial welfare queens.
When Sarah Palin quits charging six figures for her two-cent speechifying, we'll realize the bagging movement burned itself out. But it hasn't been soon enough.
OTOH, the Giants won, so that's good.
I agree with what you're saying here, which brings me to my one critique: you're still preaching to the choir. How did I reach this conclusion? The code words peppering your post combine to give you away:
…has not served as a lesson;… You would think;… Learning things like;… Seriously…
See? You need to run this through a Coherent Rhetoric to Fucktardery translator before you attempt to reach out with it to Real 'Murikka, you elitist smarty pants with your reason and logic and giving a crap about society as a whole. You make Butch Jeebus mad.
: )
Clearly we would want to put here in the foreign relations committee, because she's the only one who will be able to thwart China's impending invasion plans, because she's the only one who knows about them.
Xtine was awfully offended that Coons called her out on her ignorance. I could almost see her stomping her little feet under the table.
And, yeah, she does seem to think that a) she is getting elected, despite Coons' 40-point lead, and b) she shows up in DC the very next day, where she is given the keys to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
I hadn't thought about what committee they would hide her on. This clip makes me almost wish she would get elected, for the comedy. NBC could run nightly "The Less She Knows" PSAs.
"NBC could run nightly "The Less She Knows" PSAs."
You funny.
Aw..*blush*
That dynamic duo that prepped her and Palin must be ready to hang themselves. The only calls coming through the corporate switchboard at this point have to be cancellations of projects scheduled before Ms. Icicle hit the airwaves.
I'm almost sad when I think that we'll have to say goodbye to Christine in November. Almost, but then I realize that the alternative would be letting her have actual power over us.
Don't be sad. She'll be Christine O'Donnell Fox News Contributor by Nov 5 filling the airwaves with her hair and incessant dribble for all the world to marvel at.
At least then she'll have a job. Maybe not a job any self-respecting human would have but at least she won't have to siphon campaign funds or "sell" her house to her boyfriend.
Every time I hear this woman talk I just want the damn election to come so that she can lose and go the fuck home for awhile. Until the reality show, of course.
I said the same thing about Bible Spice in 2008 and well, we can all see how well that has worked out.
I'm of the opinion that Xtine O'Donnell is a RNC prank being played on the American voter. Run someone out there that is so unbelievably god-awful stupid, that Bible Spice looks like a MENSA member.
FOX News pundit show in 3,2,1 . . . GO.
She'll be raking in millions, just like Silly Sarah. She never wanted the senate… she wants the money… We will be hearing a lot from this silly bitch.
O'Keefe and O'Donnell host "the big O".
Today's story, how to get witch-married on your sex boat.
Oh Christ. You know it's gonna happen.
Who will seduce whom? That's the question on everyone's quivering lips!
Absolutely- and we willl also hear how the Main Stream media did her in with "gotcha" Q
questions.
And to think I said this woman was smarter than Sarah Palin. Jesus Christ.
Dear Potential Senator,
Please undo your twat from pudding-skin's face and read a fucking USA Today.
Love,
Your Potential Voters
I'd trade that cap'n for a kangaroo any day.
Her 2012 primary run will be co-sponsored by Comedy Central.
Can I reply to that assertion that when I'm a senator I won't compromise or work with the other side? I need to tell you I've already made up my mind and won't compromise or discuss with the other side my vote against cap and trade.
I can't stand another minute spent listening to this unlettered twat. She has two settings for her voice: "ingratiating whine" and embittered whine". It isn't just that she is stupid–there are plenty of stupid politicians around–it is that she lacks the capacity to cover up her stupidity. It is just always on display like a big flashing neon sign:
Christine O'Donnell, ignorant and proud of her ignorance.
I think she's so stupid that she honestly doesn't realize she's stupid. Every time she's confronted with it, she seems genuinely surprised.
I love the word "twat".
Well, she did know the name of a Senate committee. So there's that.
Ha ha, who am I kidding, "Foreign Relations" took up the whole palm so there was no room to write the names of other senators, Supreme Court decisions, etc.
Robert Byrd!!! Ted Kennedy!!!
"Lyndsey Graham? I heard he's on the other team, so that must mean Democrat."
Also note that she said "one of us will be voting on [cap and trade] this November. Does she think the winner is sworn in and voting the day after the election?
Independents are across the aisle from whom?
Maybe we can make her ambassador to someplace shitty, like Tajikistan or Mississippi.
Intellectualis vacuumus majoris. No doubt.
The Teabaggers will reform our government just as soon as they figure out who and what it is. Sort of a 'reform from ignorance'.
Moderator: "Thank you, Christine, but we have a few other topics we have to move on to…." (Thinking: Shut up, bitch! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP ALREADY!)
Wait a minute, I thought Ben Nelson was suddenly huge? WHAT GIVES, CHRISTINE?
By the way sweetie, neither of you will be casting a vote for or against cap and trade this November. Newly elected senators will be sworn in in January 2011.
To the handlers: Please cut my talking points down to two or three max. You are confusing me again.
Thx, luv ya Xtiene
smoochies
Hold it in for two (2) more weeks Chris!! Stay strong, stay disciplined and on November 3rd you'll be able to let it all out and breathe once again.
I made it to :33 and now people are walking past my office, wondering why I'm smashing my head on the desk.
Imagine that you have a poli sci degree and some sort of graduate degree probably from some East coast semi-elite college. You get to ply your trade in a paid gig for a Republican Senatorial candidate. This is not for the primary, but for a real general election when the Republicans are supposed to win everything. You would have to be thinking “jackpot”. Then your candidate goes on the TV machine and says (or has said)… (this is a fill in the black section). This is about the time you wish you had taken the un-paid internship with Sharon Angle. No, the mistake was that first semester decision about joining the Young Republicans.
Have the moderator try a new line of questioning, such as; "Hey, Christine. what's on your mind?"
She'll hit that out of the park.
Jeebus. She's actually so dumb she might not get her own talk show after her campaign flames out.
Too stupid for TV. Who woulda thunk?
I think she seriously believes she can get on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee just because she WANTS to. God, what a ditz.
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