George W. Bush is making speeches to make bank. Apparently some of them are not just recycled old Iraq addresses. On his upcoming book:
“This will come as a shock to some people in our country who didn’t think I could read a book, much less write one,” he quipped.
A quip, eh? Well, that actually seems like a pretty accurate insight.
Bush said he misses certain aspects of the presidency.
“I miss being pampered; I miss Air Force 1; I miss being commander in chief of an awesome group of (people),” he said.
He hated the rest of that president stuff! Just give him a bunch of pillows, his own plane, and the world’s largest armed forces to fuck around with, and he will be happy. [Tyler Morning Telegraph]
{ 54 comments }
I'm going to assume air quotes occurred at some point.
Give him a Snuggie a tube of airplane cement and a copy of Risk and we'll all be happier. Hopefully he'll glue his penis to the board and choke on the dice. Nah, I'm not bitter.
I bet he misses having an evil troll with no heartbeat in the house too, at least for Halloween.
Nah, he's still married to Laura.
Fuck him. Saw him on the baseball game the other day. When I did, I pointed at the TV and said, "Fuck you." Now I read this and think, "Fuck him."
The Rangers have lost every game he's been at. They never should have let him in the stadium. Imagine how the team and the fans must have felt when they saw that blank monkey face again.
I, like most of America, just fucking hate the New York Yankees. But everytime I feel myself rooting for the Texas Rangers a little (currently in the league championship series against them) some part of me realizes that a Rangers win would make W happy, which depresses me.
Go Phillies?
Or Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco-style baseball.
Obviously he could read a book. It gave him the perfect alibi when Cheney ordered the 911 attacks to begin.
Good gravy, he even made his Barney quip again — he might be approaching senility faster than even I expected him to.
It's not senility. He's just seriously into scat. Cheney often referred to this when he would tell his secretary, "Well, I'm off to the Brown Derby for lunch" on the days he was having a meet with Shrub.
"I miss being Pampered."
I didn't know he and Vitter were tizite.
Perhaps Bush is planning to run for Senator from Louisiana?
Nope, don't miss him yet. Not one bit.
It's too bad the moron never learned to learn how to use a computer; we could have just got him a copy of the latest versions of Civ and Age of Empires and he would have gotten his war boner on while only sending virtual men to die and slaughter virtual brown foreigners.
In Civ 5 there's a new wonder, The Reagan Revolution. It's a giant stucco statue of nude Ronnie giving a thumbs up. For 30 turns you get almost unlimited spending, but you lose all your libraries and aqueducts have a 5% chance of failure per turn that is cumulative. You're allowed to declare war frequently, but only if you're opponent is 1/10 your size. That may not sound like much of an advantage, but (along with building jails in all your cities) the Reagan Wonder makes people happy during these small wars. After 30 turns the Reagan Wonder catches fire, killing half the population in the city where the wonder is located. While it actually costs a civilization one technological advance (along with three trillion production shields), the Reagan wonder provides many of its own technological advances like Creationism, Supply-Side Economics and Eternal Cost Externalization.
You have no idea how much I want to make this mod, right now. Unfortunately, I'm a modding-idiot.
Anything I would say about George W. Bush would lead to an interview with the Secret Service, so I'm just going to sit here and be a thought criminal a bit longer.
Ah, that's better!
"If my thought dreams could be seen,
They'd prob'ly put my head in a guillotine."
“Ten days out of the presidency, there I was with a plastic bag in my hand, picking up that which I had been
dodgingfull of for eight years,” he said to many laughs.There, Georgie. Fixed that fer ya.
did he really mean drugs?
Many laughs you say.
He said it was amazing to him that in the aftermath of Sept. 11, the Japanese Prime Minister called to express his willingness to work with the U.S. to enhance security. This came from a country that 60 years before was this nation's enemy.
It must be fun to be constantly surprised by six-decades-old news — it's probably similar to how most beagles and pomeranians go through their day as well. I hope if a movie is ever made about this fucking animated cauliflower and his years in the White House it's entitled Fifty First Wars.
Don't be dissin' the Pomeranians, Dude! Otherwise, snark on!
Yeah you're right — I should be dissin' the freaks who intentionally bred a dog to have a brain the size of an acorn. Sorry Pomeranians — not that you noticed.
My wife's pom pisses on the bath mat every afternoon. Dis the little pissy bastards all you want.
Never take one's ex-wife's Pomeranian bowling.
take the skinheads instead!
Ugh. Look Georgie, you and your gang that couldn't shoot straight very nearly destroyed the country, killed thousands and thousands of innocent people and left us all worse for wear in a million ways. Can't you just STFU and go away forever? And take the Living Dead Cheney thing with you.
“I miss being pampered; I miss Air Force 1." These little words are so few but reveal so much about Dubya's innate immaturity and cluelessness. It's not all the mayhem, sorrow and despair he created that he thinks about, no, he thinks about not being PAMPERED anymore. Go to a salon and get a facial, idiot, no one wants to hear this crap from you anymore.
As a citizen, I prefer to think of the "pampering" as a way to remove all distractions from POTUS so his (or someday her) mind is clear, focused and ready for whatever the world throws at this great nation. Doesn't always work out that way though.
And he's still upset that the Iraqis have thanked him for their liberation.
Miss me yet?
He misses being pampered? So Condee isn't giving him head anymore? Too bad Also.
He is such an ill-prepared bastard. He and his smirk need to stay hidden forever. Gawd I hate that man.
Bush didn't say "awesome group of (people)," he said "awesome group of Christian soldiers" and we all know it!
I miss prancin' around on an aircraft carrier with my junk in a codpiece.
And he was stunned that any blacks working at the White House were there of their own free will.
Poor George. Forced into retirement with only his mansion in the Dallas suburbs, his ranch, around-the-clock Secret Service protection, and his family fortune to soothe his soul.
Odd. All the "bush is cool" texts that I have been privy to have come in the form of magazines, not books.
also bighairybeavers.com–i am sure extemporanus has a suitable link tho.
Did he mention how hard it is to get things done now that Cheney isn't making his decisions for him?
Oh God. He must have run out of brush at the ranch. Quick! Someone get him some brush to clear.
<quote>[Bush] said his father never criticized him during his presidency.</quote>
No need. Dubya was just following in <s>Satan's</s> daddy's footsteps.
So, George Bush is dissatisfied with his current lifestyle…let's see…he's gay and likes to work out and exercise hours every day. Sounds like he was made for federal prison, this county should accommodate him ASAP.
Why would any Bushie have to make any money? I thought they were the kind of family that had money that pooped out money.
“I believe this country is engaged in an ideological struggle of a kind we have never seen before,” he said.
Because of you asshole! Faith-based funding, Texas and Kansas school systems upbraiding evolution on your watch, the motherfucking Creation Museum, and attacking Saudi Arabia because of Iraqi terrorists on 9/11 (or whatever). I'd say you're pretty right on with that sentiment, choad.
So he misses the plane, the food and blowing shit up. The ocean of his soul is about at deep and wide as one of Barney's piss trickles. Heavy stuff indeed. Will his book come with or without crayons?
That commander-in-chief thing fueled his daily masturbation sessions. The least competent military in the world leading the world's largest army. Like giving a 5 year-old a Ferrari and sending him out to drive through the Alps.
Lemme check …. Nope, I'm fresh out of giving-a-fuck about what little daily pleasures Dubya misses from the Dark Decade ….
Fuck you, right back at ya, and the vampire horse you rode in on.
I'm going to miss that ole jugheaded. You know, his bike-falling-offs, pretzel-chokings, unnecessary-blowing-shit-ups, murdering of teh Ingrish, and such.
If you have to attend such dreckfests as a regular condition of employment, you may want to reconsider the concealed-carry permit.
He misses all the pretty lights and the buttons that mean old Dick would never let him push. He misses playing "Find The National Security" with his other wife. He misses his teddy bear. He misses the bowl but hits the seat. At least he gets to keep that one.
George thinks I'm awesome, eh?
I think George is a worthless piece of shit.
It just goes to show you. Way down deep, he's shallow.
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