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  • Instead of banning hate speech, FARCEbook should just give guns to all those suicidal gay teens. [RedState]
  • Obama is secretly calculating the demise of the American economy, so he and his down-low boyfriend, Tim Geithner, can get off on the destruction of America. [RFD America]
  • Finally, some Republicans are bravely standing up against the most sickening form of welfare in America, the minimum wage. [Time]

  • Liberals hate the Tea Party because their elbow patch-wearing Ivy League professors forgot to teach them them about how awesome the Tea Party is. [WSJ]
  • The Gay Patriots play hot or not by comparing the relative hotness of Republicans vs. Democrats. Funny, we don’t see Lindsey Graham anywhere. [Gay Patriot]
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  • Sepatown!

    I wouldn't fuck Lindsay Graham with Ginni Thomas' dick.

  • Troubledog

    I wouldn't fuck Clarence Thomas with Ginni Thomas' dick.

    • bumfug

      I thought Clarence Thomas WAS Ginni Thomas' dick.

    • Radiotherapy

      I wouldn't waste one of my pubes on his Coke can.

    • widestanceroman

      Judging by Ginni's bizarre frustration, Clarence Thomas won't fuck Ginni Thomas with Clarence Thomas' dick either.

    • Negropolis

      BWAHAHAHA!

  • Limeylizzie

    Sean Penn and Rachel Maddow are on the not hot list? Not in my world.

    • HELisforHEL

      Totally agree–love them both.

      • Negropolis

        I was just about to say that the photo of Maddow is teh awesome.

  • Who bullies gays? Usually those who have issues with their own sexuality, fear those who are different and ignorant of anything outside their own group. Let's give guns to the bullied teens to get vengeance on their tormentors.

    Yay Red State. Never change. Typical Red State Fashion. Offer solutions to problems that end up hurting themselves.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Never mind that access to firearms is one of the surest ways to increase suicides among males. I don't know the science behind it, but apparently self-inflicted gunshots are the main way guys go out, instead of pills or cutting. Of course, auto-erotic asphixiation is mainly a guy thing, too, but that's more stupid than suicidal.

      Oh, and just about every guy who hasn't gotten laid yet in high school or feels sexually inadequate (ie the overwhelming majority) bullies gays in high school, or at least goes along with the bullying.

      • Failure_Artist

        Well, the article never says they should use the guns against their tormentors, does it? RedState is just worried that gay teens will suffer from inefficient suicide methods.

  • the_problem_child

    That's OK, Benjamin. I didn't really want to got to RedState. But I didn't want to got to RFD twice, either.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Every time I go to one of those right wing sites, I feel like Sigourney Weaver, rolling around with all them aliens in Alien Resurrection. Ewww.

      • Doglessliberal

        You are braver than I. I won't even go there. It is too much even to read about it second-hand.

    • HELisforHEL

      Yeah, I have to avoid them, too. The stoopid, the greed, the cockery of their every screed makes me want to drown kittens & puppies. And since I love kittens and puppies, it's best that I stay away from their sites.
      However, if I could drown each & every one of the posters? Well, that would be fun and a fine public service. Alas the anonymity of the intertubes.

  • SexySmurf

    Funny, we don’t see Lindsey Graham anywhere.

    Did you check the men's room at the airport?

  • Toomush_Infer

    So Berkowitz is quoting Art Linkletter and deriving astute contemporary intellectual criticism based on the Goldwater campaign….yep, these liberal elitists are sure out of touch, by gosh, not real people at all…

  • elviouslyqueer

    I'm sure Marco Rubio will be thrilled to know that he's #1 on GayPatriot's fap list. Oh, and that pic of Paul Ryan is gayer than Mark Ballas's sequined granny panties.

  • Well if we bans minimum wage, then how's 'bout banning all farm subsidies, all ethanol requirements in fuel (another farm subsidy, that makes no environmental sense), oil depletion allowances and all other federal tax deductions (with a tweak on the rates), and get gubberment out of the war on drugz – make pot, 'scrooms, and the cactus from another planet legal & de-criminalize simple possession of meth, crack, coke, heroin and other refined 'recreational'/addictive drugs. Really get the gubberment off da back of the peepollz.

    • SmutBoffin

      It's posts like this that make me nostalgic for the Great Patriotic Blogwar against the Paultards back in '08, when people would actually suggest this and NOT BE KIDDING.

    • A return to sharecropping would eliminate that pesky minimum wage and give wealthy land owners a nice subsidy.

    • Ruhe

      I was thinking that if you did away with the minimum wage you'd have to build a wall 100 feet high to stop the tidal wave of immigrants that would have to flood over the border to take all the $3 an hour jobs. Or maybe those jobs just go away permanently and we all learn to cut our own grass, pick our own food and make our own lattes.

    • Ruhe

      And, also, you'd like to think that people in government would be making policy proposals with a genuine concern for what the unintended consequences of said policies might be. But the Republican modus seems to be to institute new policy with a child-like lack of concern for the consequences. Or maybe they have a child-like curiosity and just want to see what will happen when you try any crazy old shit, like mixing together various household chemicals to see if you get anything explosive or dangerously corrosive. I'm not the only one who did that, right?

      • Naked_Bunny

        Republicans never worry how their policies will affect anyone but their golf buddies or — if they're poor Republicans — Mexicans.

    • gvvt

      Change I could definitely believe in. But obviously a (National) Socialist plot to strip god fearing folks of their American Wet Dream (TM).

    • fuflans

      also prostitution. Don't forget to legalize that too.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Don't forget gheys: You can't get married but you can cap a fool in the dome.

    Because it gets better… with a .45 ACP

  • CZL

    But if we give suicidal people guns won't they just use them shoot themse…

    Oh, well played Red State! Had me fooled for a second there that you were advocating the murder of bullies as a way to end bullying. I bet Eric and Dylan are happy now that no one bullies them anymore.

  • letmetellyouwhy

    Adam Baldwin?! LIARS. Jayne Cobb would probably be a Republican, but definitely not Adam.

    • JMPEsq

      Sadly, he is one, and Casey's politics on Chuck are supposed to be based on Baldwin's real-life views.

      • HistoriCat

        I has a sad.

  • CapnFatback

    Those who doubt that the failings of higher education in America have political consequences need only reflect on the quality of progressive commentary on the tea party movement. Our universities have produced two generations of highly educated people who seem unable to recognize the spirited defense of fundamental American principles, even when it takes place for more than a year and a half right in front of their noses.

    Berkowitz erects a piously-stained-glass Overton window that argues that those have who have failed with the book learnin' are tea party critics?

    And in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people!

    • SayItWithWookies

      He then goes on to state the Historical Fact that the Progressive movement (founded by the evil Woodrow Wilson, in league with Saul Alinsky and the New Black Panthers) is based on the idea that the Constitution is outdated. Funny how this became a talking point only after habeas corpus and the rights of the accused were gutted by President Evil Troll and his hapless moppet, Dubya.

      • Radiotherapy

        I graduated Phi Beta goddam Kappa from that school.

        • Radio, why is not surprising that you are a key player?

    • BerkeleyBear

      If I follow the argument, the problem isn't that these ignorant slobs substitute anger and false entitlements for knowledge isn't the problem – the problem is that otherwise enlightened, educated individuals don't bow before their "real Amuricunness"?
      Sure, and the problem with the Confederacy wasn't that they defined "property" as including people, but that the Union wouldn't acknowledge who fundamental property rights are to the ordered concept of liberty.

      • CapnFatback

        Ah, but the tea party folk are imbued with the spirit of the Constitution, as if the ghost of James Madison impregnated them in their sleep with his mighty quill of liberty.

        • BarryOPotter

          I was just GChatting with Jimmy Mad and he told me it was a hate-fuck, plus, and I quote: "dem kidz don't look nuttin' like me. Day ain't minez."

        • gvvt

          So much so that they don't have actually to know anything about the Constitution ("are you telling me that's in there?") itself. And they certainly didn't LEARN about it in the oddly faulty curriculum in use in the greatest educational system in the world.

    • JMPEsq

      The problem is that universities teach students the actual history of the Revolution and basis of the Constitution, and not the revisionist bullshit conservative "intellectuals" pull out of their asses.

      • Like that troll dip_da_whatever the other day who had no problem with linking a great vid that had no sources, listed authors, owners, or any other bits of attribution.

    • BarryOPotter

      Not delve too deeply into a critique of The Berkotwitz' Logic(TM), which, being well educated myself, i.e., lazy, I have the (awesome) ability to infer in toto based ONLY the part of his screed you quoted, but if the progressives are comprised of "two generations of highly educated people" calling bullshit on the tea party, then perhaps what the tea party is doing cannot be rightfully defined as a "spirited defense of fundamental American principles…" Not to get too technical, but what they are doing has all the markings of a mass orgy of fucktardery based on multipronged bigotry, willful ignorance and intellectual dishonesty. Just saying.

      Berkotwitz would better serve his comhatriots by guiding them to respect their betters, i.e., the generations of highly educated progressives trying to tell them what's what. Again, just saying.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Word, and word again. What's scary about Berkowitz and others of his ilk (Michael Gerson, I'm looking at you, you moran) is that they actually embrace anti-intellectualism, as if trying to pat the American public on their collective heads and say "No, really, it's okay if you're stupid. Don't listen to those smart-alecky elitists. You're the people who are going to make America great again."

        Sorry no snark, but I'm a LOT scared of the shit these idiots are putting out there.

    • nachoproblem

      Really? And what about the spirited American thingamabob that has yet to recognize, let alone defend, any principle that's fundamentally democratic in any way? They go around splitting atoms with their minds, do they?

      The platform is this: No taxes because then rich people will give us moar stuff (ow, my brain), and brown peoples should go away. That's been going on in front of my nose for much more than a year and a half, and I can't stop vomiting from the smell. I guess because my Ivory Tower "failed" to teach me how to love bullshit.

  • edgydrifter

    Here's what I learned from Time magazine today: If your lifestyle requires you to make more than $300 per month, you are a worthless hedonist. A true patriot would be embarrassed to take home more than thirty-five cents an hour, because real Americans know their place.

  • GOPCrusher

    It never occurred to Tea Baggers that the real reason that people don't like them, is because they advocate stupid shit, like doing away with the minimum wage?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Which would, of course, directly impact their crappy take home pay from Wal-Mart, but don't tell them that.

  • JMPEsq

    Those conservative judicial activists have a great idea, to go back to the Lochner era; I mean there are still a few aspects of our lives that our corporate masters don't control, and it's such tyranny that they can't force their employees to put in 20-hour shifts in a highly toxic environment, and pay if a worker gets an arm chopped off instead of just dropping the now-useless lump.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yep, back when accepting the risk covered the idea of death on the job for a dollar a day. Those were the good old days, when anyone could get a job in a dangerous axe factory and work just as long as they wanted to, without worrying about pesky things like breaks, holidays or overtime.

      • HistoriCat

        And back then children could get honest, back-breaking jobs. Won't someone think of the children??

  • Badonkadonkette

    Are Teabaggers born without a sense of irony? Lately I've heard a lot of Teabaggers saying that over-educated, elitist, condescending liberals are a bunch of dumb ignoramuses when compared to them, the brilliant, perspicacious, patriotic Teabaggers.

    • JMPEsq

      Teabaggers know what irony is; that it's like rain on your wedding day, or a free ride when you've already paid.

      • Badonkadonkette

        I have to admit that's catchier than "It's like nominating Christine O'Donnell to protect and defend the Constitution."

  • chascates

    Along with the minimum wage get rid of the child labor laws as well. 'Bout time those little punks figured out how the world really works.

    • gvvt

      And it would keep them out of the schools, where they would only get in trouble.

  • Extemporanus

    Amendments don't kill people, seconds do.

  • BrentKockman

    I couldn't resist this gem from the first paragraph of the RedState FAILBOOK post

    I agree with Andrew Wilcow that gay people should exercise their second amendment right more frequently when faced with physical bullying and intimidation

    Does he even realize what he's saying? Gays with guns? I mean, if a gun is an extension of the penis, does RedState really want gays running around with all those extra metal penises?

    Or maybe that's just another Saturday night at the truckstop for Erik Erikson and his bloggy boys….

  • Neilist

    Love the "Arm the Queers" Idea!

    Pink Glocks and Ladysmiths . . .
    http://www.gunslot.com/pictures/pink-duracoat-glo
    http://www.gunshopfinder.com/smithandwesson/smith

    . . . .FOR THE BOYZ!!!!!!

    • 2-inch barrel 38??? Neilist my favorite gun runner, the Army issued me one of those Smithy Puhleeze Special things and we could not keep a confined shot pattern at 25m with the fucker locked-down in a vice vise. Iffin' the shooters don't slam the end of the barrel up against the shootee when firing, then the boyz, or grrlz, will need some good luck. Might do better throwing it. Just saying'.

      • Neilist

        Weejee, Old Trout:

        If it was an issue S&W, the rifling might have been worn out, or the muzzle not crowned. Also, in my experience the ammo for short-barreled pistols/revolvers is critical.

        I have a S&W 642 Hammerless, and can routinely get mostly 10s at 25m. (If I go slower than usual, that is — but it's double action only.)

        Anyway, let's face the facts: A typical Homicidal Homo is going to be shooting at contract range. If the bullets are appropriately lubed — KY; Locker Room; End-Up, etc. — accuracy should not be a problem.

        Penetration, on the other hand, could be a issue. But if the Firearms Fag shoves the barrel, gently but firmly, up the bum of His/Her/Its Oppressors . . . .

        (Personally, I prefer the Glock 27 for concealed carry. But it's harder to clean the feces of the slide.)

        Neilist
        NRA LGBT Outreach Desk
        "Bend Over And FIRE!"

        [Asshole. Check. Gotcha.]

        • The pistol, like most everything else the Army provided was, shall we say, well used. The E4 was the only 'new' piece I ever saw, and it like its M16 cousins had its own issues.

          S&W 642, eh? So now Golem the Wonkateriate knows what the Neilist haz in its pocketses. Nasty hammers. Catch on too many things. Nasty hammers.

  • Neilist

    Even better: The Hello Kitty M16!
    http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2008/01/hello-k

    When Your Depressed Young Homo wants to take out an entire SCHOOLYARD of bullies!

    [Right. Asshole. Got it.]

  • undeadgoat

    Adam Baldwin is hotter than Harry Reid, therefore gays should totally vote Republican! Isn't logic great you guys??

  • Badonkadonkette

    Instead of banning hate speech, FARCEbook should just give guns to all those suicidal gay teens.

    Putting aside the irony (again, me with the irony) of using Rush Limbaugh as a foil for homosexuals, I'm pretty sure that fat sack of shit makes a choice, every single day, to be as much of a hateful, venemous, lying dick as possible.

    By contrast, and way of illustration, there are no FB groups taunting Charles Krauthammer for being crippled. Yet.

    • elfgoldsackring

      Writing mean things about a professionally inflammatory partisan famewhore is EXACTLY the same as picking on a vulnerable teen. Got it, RedState!

  • DCHatesMe

    Does the Gay Patriot understand that Adam Baldwin and Nick Popadick would beat him to death for looking at him perverted?

  • Naked_Bunny

    The GOP: Advocating a return to feudalism for 35 years!

  • nachoproblem

    How about bullies who have guns? What do we do about those?

    • DoktorZoom

      duh. Bigger guns.

  • brendanwynn

    smart people are just too dumb to have inherent knowledge of the constitution like good teabaggin folk. and their fancy teachers don't teach them about tricorner hats, only about stupid stuff like modern-day relevance and how our government works actually.

    WE THE PEOPLE.

  • DoktorZoom

    I'm pretty sure the Hello Kitty AK-47 is just a photoshop job. This AR-15 appears to be the real deal, tho. It's lethally adorable.

  • luke_warm

    Will someone go to that farcebook "article" and convince them to make new groups replacing Rush Limbaugh's name with Obama? They'd do it, too.

  • Some hack from the Hoover Institute barf up 1500 words of turgidly unreadable prose and the Journal acts like it is the Magna Carta.

    The WSJ editorial page has always been a reeking pile of crap. The proud tradition continues.

  • jesselmabus

    ummm. guess i will show my old. isn't give guns to the gay teens a riff off the punk song 'let's have a war' by fear?

    Let's have a war!
    Sell the rights to the networks!
    Let's have a war!
    General Motors get fat like last time!
    Let's have a war!
    Give guns to the queers!
    Let's have a war!
    The enemy's within!

    It already started in the city!
    Suburbia will be just as easy!

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