Peace In, Democracy Out In Afghanistan
by Josh Fruhlinger 8:41 am October 20, 2010
NATO is escorting some high-level Taliban leaders that they were previously trying to kill to Kabul so that they will make nice with Hamid Karzai and the Afghan government and we can all go home, hooray! “High-level” does not include Mullah Omar, who is apparently a “prisoner” of the Pakistani ISI spy agency. Oh, and the ISI — which, we should emphasize, is the spy agency of one of our allies — will kill any Taliban leaders who try to make peace, because, uh, it’s complicated! [NYT]- Also, 23 percent of the ballots from last month’s Afghan parliamentary election have been thrown out, because of fraud. But from another, more optimistic perspective, a full
87 77 percent [gah it is too early for math] of ballots from last month’s Afghan parliamentary election weren’t fraudulent, or at least nobody can prove that they were. [AP]
- Democrat Alexi Giannoulias and Republican Mark Kirk are locked in a tight struggle for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat in Illinois, mostly because nobody likes either of them; they had a debate last night, each trying to convince Illinoisians (Illinoisers? Illinoisiacs?) that the other one is worse. “Why did you lie about your military awards, all the time?” asked Giannoulias. “Why were you such a coward that you never even joined the military so you could lie about the awards you got there?” countered Kirk. [AP]
- Who is it who even likes Democrats, anymore? Ladies? Unions? How about … ladies in unions? [CNN]
- Shockingly, Republican candidates who have been rambling on all campaign about how gosh darn it we need to cut spending, now, don’t have any specific suggestions on cuts that make sense in terms of actual math. [NYT]
Tagged
- afghanistan,
- alexi giannoulias,
- illinois,
- isi,
- mark kirk,
- pakistan,
- peace talks,
- it's morning in america,
- spending,
- taliban,
- unions,
- voter fraud
Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 63 comments }
Afghan ballots at 110%? Sound like Fox News math to me…
I'm sitting in the waiting room while my oil gets changed and there are 5 oldz and they have control of the remote and put it on Faux News! I'm out numbered! I just had to hear how the stimulus package is full of regulations that no one read (except Fox) and now they're teasing "the war on business". I'm dangerously close to throwing something at the tv….
I feel you. We were out at lunch on Saturday at a beautiful marina on the water, cool breezes, the whole enchilada. Oh, and it was in "Real 'Murika", so, subsequently all I could hear were shouty olds at the bar yelling about how "we got to get rid of that Kenyan, Obamar". I wished silently for a grenade.
Go over near them and slip in a ball cap that says "Gay for Obama" on the bar, as if one of them placed it there. Go back to your table and watch while they notice it and teach each other apart.
Tear not teach.
Arrrggg and NOW the national Faux News is talking about an issue going on in my county (not statewide, like they just said) where some votes at TWO PRECINTS showed up wrong for a little bit the first day because the touch screens needed to be calibrated. They've been recalibrated, they're all good now.
But no, Fox says it's a state-wide scandal.
Oh and now it's Paultard Jr. talking about his faith being viciously attacked and having no place in civil discourse. Aqua Buddha boy says he can't shake the hand of someone who lacks honor.
Are you fucking kidding me.
Tell them you got a text message that Sarah Palin is coming to your town, but tickets are selling out fast, and seniors get a discount. Tell them to hurry and go buy them.
Why don't you have some fun and fuck with them? Tell them your mom is going in front of a death panel tomorrow, and you're pretty sure they're going to kill her BECAUSE SHE'S OLD! Then start crying.
Fox News is now talking about anchor babies. I'm muttering "under my breath," getting progressively louder. However, they're oldz and I'm still not loud enough for them to hear me. A few minutes ago one of the anchors said that the recession ended before the stimulus bill was passed. Ummm, what? In what universe?
One of the oldz is now sleeping, so it's 4 to 1, and of those 4 one is in a wheelchair, one appears to have dementia and one's wearing a paper mask. Think I can take them all out? If I put it on MSNBC, would I cause 4 heart attacks?
Do they have satellite? Put it on Logo.
Switch! They'll all wake up yelling "Keep your soshalist hands off my Medicare!!"
The following conversation really just happened:
(I'm wandering around looking for an outlet near my computer because my battery is low and the waiting room is full and there's not an outlet within cord's reach from my seat.)
Old in wheelchair, pointing way down long hall towards outlet and bathroom: young lady, is this what you're looking for?
me: I'm trying to find an outlet close enough for my laptop cord to reach. My cord won't reach that far.
old: I don't understand what you're saying but I'm sure one of the salesmen will help you.
me: my laptop battery is about to die, I'm just trying to find an outlet.
old: one of the salesmen is in his office over there young lady.
me: okay.
fox news: anchor babies! 14 states are trying to not give citizenship to illegal kids!!!! it's hard to undo something that's part of the constitution of the country – do you think they can do it??
Faux News: The Tea Party and coloreds: Inside the NAACP "report" claiming bigotry and what it really says.
It's a good channel for the five-year-olds to watch, because like with Barney, Sesame Street and the Teletubbies the cast is mostly at their emotional and intellectual maturity levels.
I feel your pain, I LIVE IN GEORGIA (whimper).
http://www.amazon.com/TV-B-Gone-Universal-Remote-...
Works well in airports too.
Well, OF COURSE 22% of the ballots were fraudulent. Have you seen Afghanistan?! Full of brown people.
This is exactly what the good people of the Illinois and Texas GOPs are trying to prevent, by selectively targeting brown people communities, to aggressively make sure there's no voter fraud, and if actual voters are denied the franchise in the process, oh well. Because brown people are constitutively corrupt, you see.
I'm not a racist.
So they have 110% total ballots! Good for them! Victory! Can we end this shit now? Taliban math works a lot like GOP math.
Must be some version of Palm Beach County election law going on in Afghanistan. 23% of the ballots are bad, 87% are good. Hard work counting 110% of the ballots.
I really wish that Hopey would take a leaf out of Karzai's book and just start wearing those fabulous Musliny outfits, just imagine the Wingnutty fury.
That's what second terms are for.
I think its illini like the college. Pakistan is like the worst girlfriend imaginable, she comes around when she wants something and may even give you a taste. By Friday she has slept with every enemy you ever had even the kid who gave you wedgies in the first grade.
And gives you crabs, in the form of terrorists in this case, as a coup de grace.
Technically its Illinoisian, but who the fuck would want to be called that. BTW, the UI alumni/redneck assholes are still trying to keep alive their bogus "chief" illiwinek, right down to having a chubby white guy keep the sacred "peace pipe" and buckskins to dance around in the gym.
Hell, at this point the student body at the University of Mississippi (who just voted to replace the rebel colonel with a mississippi black bear) look sensitive by comparison.
Yeah, but they probably changed the mascot to honor the Mama Grizzly.
It is Illinoisian or you can say Chicagoan as that is where the population is in the state.
Hey, now, they haven't completely shut down the rest of the state yet. Sure, we fetishize a dead man who's policies of inclusiveness would get him run out of the modern GOP, and can't understand the connection between massive ag subsidies and the national debt, but we're still here, dammit!
The Taliban just want a piece of land where they can repress everything remotely fun. Let’s just give them a place of their own and bring our boys and girls home. Utah seems like a good fit.
Naw, Utah is already repressed. They won't have a bit of fun trying to suppress drinking and the like.
When I was in The Big A, we were trying to figure out the building season in Shindand, a remote shithole south of Herat where we were building an army garrison, but could not find any historical weather information. Turns out that during their reign the Taliban decreed that forecasting the weather was witchcraft, and all things related to weather forecasting were destroyed, including records of weather past. They'd find plenty to ban in Utah.
True. I suspect the entertainment would be seeing the Taliban trying to wrestle control from the Mormons. Do not mess with an 18 year old Elder or a middle aged lady bearing a potato casserole or jello mold.
Witchcraft, eh? Perhaps a job — finally — for our Christine after she loses.
What do you expect from a people raised wiping their asses with rocks, fer Chrissakes?
I suppose all the weathermen went underground.
"honest" "coward" vs pretend/fake military hero… Hmmmm.
Kinda sums up the whole Demoncrap/GOPer divide today.
Comeon Grey lady. Why you giving the GOPers and Teabaggers shit over maths? It's not what facts or skills they know. It's what they believe. Maths is not about faith.
The Pakistani ISI: it's so super-secret that when you spell it backwards you get "ISI."
You know those Pakistani guys that work at the convenience stores throughout our fair nation, who are always talking on the phone when you go to check out. Well, those guys are all ISI agents, and they are all talking to each other, and they are all talking about YOU!!
US-Pakistan relations are complicated. Plus, whenever we even do anything like just posting a funny YouTube video to India's wall Pakistan changes its relationship status to single!! (FACEBOOK JOKE!)
I gave you pee for effort, but not for facebook jokes.
It's mundane to talk about, but for 2010 total federal revenues only cover the cost of the sacred cows: defense, social security, interest payments and veterans. To balance the budget, EVERYTHING ELSE must be eliminated. But there's hope. With the non-heterosexuals entering the military, the Repubicans will be ready to cut that budget lest taxpayer money get in the pants of the preverts.
Man if that worked out that would be the best unintended consequence of all time. Of course they would probably just want to shift funding to some new all robot army. Then we'd have to start convincing them that most robots are queer.
This is the pitch for the new Top Gun: One robot's struggle with his own homosexuality.
So in place of the beach volleyball scene would we get slow-mo footage of Robo-Maverick 3000 and the Goosebot undergoing their five thousand mile oil change and undercarriage lubing?
There's a lot of gay robots around; C-3PO, KITT, that one from Buck Rodgers, Starscream, Tom Cruise.
You are mistaken, Tom is NOT a robot! Gay? Of course he's gay!
That's what we want you to think. Infiltration succeeding.
Cut defense and the sacred cows. Allow ALL the Bush tax cuts to expire. You will actually be doing something about the deficit. NOT. You will never get elected so it does not matter what you think.
As Ken says. We are a nation of hopeless fat, sad, tattooed hippos.
How much does Congress cost? Abolish that. We have enough laws.
Man if that worked out that would be the best unintended consequence of all time. Of course they would probably just want to shift funding to some new all robot army. Then we'd have to start convincing them that most robots are queer.
Ladies in Union Suits? Like sexy 19th century prospector/homesteader ladies?
No problem, Josh, your math is just like the Afghan election commission: 110% AWESOME
Democracy may be soon leaving the U.S. so perhaps this is a trend.
The Pakistani situation is actually pretty simple; when the big guys are giving you the big bucks to fight an insurgency, the last things you want to do are either win or make peace and thus cut off that gravy train.
The entire democracy situation is pretty simple. When China decided it was cool to be rich – we started taking a fucking on raw materials, because they needed them as well. When we murdered Iraq's leader and forced freedom down their throats, they looked to us to pay for it – again, fucking. When Pakistan, Afghanistan and any other Stan that decides, figured out that they could play both sides of the pay window, once again… You know the whole thing about history repeating itself? Well, as far as I can see, the only things missing right now are scurvy, syphilis and pigs (cause they're Muslins and don't eat pork).
O'Donnell, Angle, Palin, Miller, Rand…we know democracy doesn't work in the US so I applaud the Afghaners.
We will make peace with them right after we kill them a little, first.
AFCORN!
Math is kind of sciency. Republicans are not going to understand it.
I'm not sure and one of the oldz has the remote. But that's a good idea if I can steal it…
How come each of their news stories is no more than a sentence or two? Is it because their target audience can't follow anything longer than that?
Yes! Or at least loudly ask the olds, "Do you know what number the gay channel is? I'm in the mood for some gay porn, what kind is your favorite?"
If that doesn't give them heart failure, you're gonna have to sneak up behind them and scream.
… they just ran an ad with Andy Griffith talking about how the health care bill will be good for everyone on Medicare… is that enough to neutralize Fox News?
And by the way, when did "American Constitution Party" become a legit thing – especially when it has nothing to do with what the constitution actually SAYS?
Two oldz are black and three are white. They're sitting on opposite sides of the room. If I suggest musical chairs, it could do the same thing…
I'm too easy.
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