Have you explored the strange world of men with too much money writing about their escort experiences on the Internet? GOOD, don’t … unless you want to learn what lingo like this might mean: “More then one man can handle alone. PSE is my thing. Keep that gfe shit!” Yeah, who wants that second thing? Also, which high-priced hooker acronym means “Senator David Vitter is here again and he wants to poop in diapers, and have a call girl watch, for some reason”? Because that’s the only deviant fecal act relevant to Louisiana’s senate campaign. Let’s meet the young lady one Louisiana politics blog says is Vitter’s new favorite prostitute.
She’s a high-class call girl with a “few advanced degrees.” She doesn’t mind gifts, but don’t dare buy her anything made by Coach — waaaayy too tacky! She selectively entertains out-of-town customers who have just as much to lose as she does. Ladies and gentlemen, meet London Rayne.
Though undoubtedly a nom de guerre, as it were, her name seems to have been popping up all over the place. The Kingfish has been buzzing for quite some time with anonymous suggestions that there was another shoe to drop for David Vitter — another lady of the night set to come forward to tell her story.
Nom de guerre, eh? So this nice lady is a warblogger?
The Louisiana site is demanding Vitter answer some questions about Ms. Rayne, such as “In December of 2008, did you spend any time in Louisville, Kentucky?” Sounds like they might have a hot tip about where Diaperman was dirtying his diapers a couple of Christmastimes ago. (Imagine, pooping on a hooker in Kentucky when we’re supposed to be celebrating the birth of our savior.)
We have investigated the many escort websites belonging to or connected with this woman, and we have no desire to mess up her business or call additional attention to her, as in these situations the whore-using scumbag senator never gets arrested but the prostitute always does. And, when Vitter’s involved, things usually turn out really bad for anyone on the escort side of the transaction, as the suicide of the DC Madam should’ve made clear to everyone.
But, go GOP and go Tea Party! David Vitter is truly what America is all about: Vicious, corrupt squeaky-voiced middle-aged white-male Republican poop fetishists who evade all consequences for their foul behavior. [Daily Kingfish]
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Today, unless we are prostitutes, we are all vicious, corrupt squeaky-voiced middle-aged poop fetishists.
Rats! This was my day to make that comment on every post!
Oh, and for the uninitiated, PSE is Puget Sound Electric and GFE is government-furnished equipment. Always a pleasure to spread the knowledge.
I resent being called "squeaky-voiced."
Diapers or it doesn't exit. Shit or GTFO.
Some of us go both ways.
I resent the implication that I am middle-aged.
I am confused.
He pooped on the Baby Jesus in Kentucky?
Why Vitter? WHY?
"Louisville Steamer" just doesn't have same ring to it…
Isn't that what they all do on Walpurgisnacht? Before kissing Satan's icy cold arse.
She was known to Vitter as "London Rayne." Vitter wanted to be called "M. T. Colon."
London Rayne, or "Golden Shower" as we call it on this side of the pond. So refreshing/humiliating after baby Vitter's made a big naughty poop!
I'm no prude but it would take a lot more than a pair of Louboutins to change Vitter's shitty diapers. Moreover also too, what is it about Republican wives that they can't get on board with their husbands' proclivities? You must know what you're getting into when you hook up with a Republican politican. Attention Women of the Right Wing: Republican men are incapable of vanilla sex. Prepare a strap-on, SS uniform, bondage gear, Dick Cheney mask, and lay down some tarp so your furniture doesn't get shit-stained.
Republicans don't believe in staining the sanctity of their marriage so they rationalize that it is somehow better to poop on stranger's chests than on their wives. Also, from what I understand, if a couple like that actually live together they can go the whole coprophagic route, which I would imagine make opening their fridge a little like opening a port o potty in winter.
Maybe they want to become as perverted as the Tories in Britain!
The peeplez of LA just want Vitter to spend his money in their state – not spreading the wealth like that commie muslin in the White House.
This cocksucker has left a shit trail from one end of the country to the other and back again, so what does he need a call girl for when the whole goddamn world is watching?
He should be one happy pooper. So what's he so mad about? He's got everything he wants. I think he's just too naughty for words.
Hear, Hear!
Hey this could mean a big $$$ endorsement from his adult diaper brand of choice!!!
Fucking Vitter, giving squeaky-voiced, middle-aged white male poop fetishists a bad name. Almost enough to make me lose my shit.
If ya do lose it, how much'll ya pay me to find it and smear it all over your rear-end, then give you a sponge-off?
This may be sex worker #3, but it will always be #2 to Vitter.
I would imagine he's had dozens. That's the main advantage of commercial sex.
I suppose it would be hypocritical of his supporters to not vote for him, as they themselves have probably already fucked everything in the family and barnyard.
London Rayne, or as she is known to her friends, Layne.
Shhh!
I thought Ken's nom de whore was Kat Pope.
The double standard is pissing me off. Vitter needs to come clean. Stop shitting his diapers for hookers and screw his wife and make her change his diaper like a normal whitey at x-mas time.
He is an asshole and needs to have his diaper wearing shit filled days shoved up his ass by his wife in a public, career ruining, nasty divorce.
And we want the Mrs-Spitzer wish-I-were-elsewhere face and Santorum-daughter sad face in one shot at the press conference, pleez.
Muscular Jesus thinks that wives should always submit to their husbands and that includes changing their diapers, damn it!
Didn't Jesus spend his time with hookers and boozers?
"…Vitter needs to come clean…"
He can't — that's exactly his problem.
I'm just glad this won't affect his standing with Louisiana "values" voters.
He's restoring honor to America. Unlike our pres-dent, who apparently doesn't crap on hookers, Vitter is white, so that makes him a paragon of virtue.
Louisiana values, remember.
Vitter likes high-dollar hookers? Not news. I'm going back to the Dancing Bristols Channel, unless you tell me that this story leads to a Rayne-and-Diaperman sex tape.
Not that I want to see it. I just want him to resign.
I'm not sure if even a sex tape would get out of office; the old "only with a dead girl or live boy" standard seems alive and well, if you're a Republican (well reversed for female Reps).
Oh, blame it on the Rayne
That was talkin', talkin';
Blame it on that hooker
Who wiped your ass all night.
When the voters relearn that you,
Like being forced to poo,
Blame it on the Rayne, yeah, yeah.
Blame it on Rayne,
Don't blame it on me
Oh-ho it's nobody's
But we need somebody to burn
London Rayne sounded like a sh*#storm to David.
London Rayne? Oh, I get it. 'Cause it rains a lot in London. Or on London. Does that mean he's into water sports, also and too?
C'mon, you don't get to be a United States Senator without playing a little "Bluegrass Baby New Year" here and there. You just don't. Jeesh.
I'm once got banned from a Burlington Coat Factory for pooping on London Fog.
London Rayne's rain falls mainly on the pasty skin plain of vicious, corrupt squeaky-voiced middle-aged white-males.
Just head on over to the Internships page of Diaperman's Senate website:
http://vitter.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAct...
and see if you can keep a straight face while reading it. ("Senator Vitter's internship program provides a comprehensive view of the practices and procedures of a United States Senate office and the workings of the Senate and how the legislative process works. etc.")
"Remember the intern experience is not only the day-to-day office environment, but the entire congressional experience." I never knew that that's what "congressional" meant. And no wise cracks about "Sexual Congress":
Sexual Congress – the act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man's penis is inserted into the woman's vagina and excited until orgasm and ejaculation occur.
Nothing to do with Vitter's "duties."
By now everyone knows that letting your child be a senate intern is like selling them to a whorehouse, don't they?
Am I the only one disappointed that the hooker's name wasn't Chocolate Rayne?
More like Fudge Factory.
Well that sounds like a name of a black hooker, and that might actually cause Republican "family values" voters to turn against the shitter.
well, she does claim to have the "ghetto booty lol" on her personal website…
I move away from the microphone…
I'm disappointed that Ken Layne couldn't come up with a less obvious nom de whorre.
I'm growing some!
thanks for making me guffaw audibly in public.
Needz moar history quickly crashing through your veins
Vitter's koo koo for Coco Plops!
At one end you spew “Family Values” and at the other end you spew the “Family Jewels.”
Poor misunderstood David Vitter — he's not some f*cked up hypocritical scat fetishist — it's just that Congress isn't in session 365 days a year, so he's gotta poop on America some other way when it's out of session.
Vitter is the Poster Boy for Republican Famly Values, and Craig, and Gingrich, and Sanders, and Ensign, oh fuck it, EVERYBODY.
But they're still better than the Democratic candidates who are ELITISTS.
Pooping on a prostitute, not as bad as elitism.
Having sex with your best friend's wife, not as bad as elitism.
Having sex with a stranger in an airport bathroom, not as bad as elitism.
Divorcing your wife who has cancer, not as bad as elitism.
Using state $ to visit your mistress in South America, not as bad as elitism. E-mailing bestiality porn, not as bad as elitism.
Making a rape victim bear her rapists baby, not as bad as elitism.
Not knowing where you went to college, not as bad as elitism.
And TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!111!!
Thank God somebody's thinkin' straight.
Guilty, yoah Honor, guilty!
Goddamn! What an awesome day at the Wonkette! That's all I got.
Agreed. The best day since Jesus invented the calendar.
Y'all get one guess what London Rayne's specialty is (look out for number one, David).
Any pix? From the name I'm guessing oriental – as in the yellow peril.
Lunchtime.
Don't do a Google image search. Just don't.
Come on – you're just not trying. It's either: http://www.myspace.com/londonrayne28
or http://www.londonrayne.com/
Well, the Soderbergh flick taught me GFE was girlfriend experience. PSE must mean the Poop Surreptitiously Experience. Or PS (Playstation) Eye – so maybe they skype pooped each other after a few rounds of "Resistance 2"?
The description of PSE is not altogether unappealing.
Well, other than definition #4, which fits Diaperman much better.
The best part will be the obligatory dressed-for-church, standin-by-her-man appearance by the aggrieved Mrs. Vitter. She's the best at it, and Davy Pooper gives her ample opportunities to practice it.
I hope they borrow Santorum's Crying Daughter with Doll to use for the occasion.
Clearly, David Vitter does give a shit.
a "few advanced degrees"? what "few advanced degrees"? one-eighty-one south? ninety-three east? six degrees, six minutes, and six seconds north by northwest?
or is it third degree? third degree with hot lights and truncheons? third degree with flesh charred to the bone?
or something semiotic and deconstructionist? a ph.d. in post-structuralist deconstruction of a political party as evidenced through the shenanigans of a limited set of limited persons?
what "few advanced degrees"?
With the costs of higher education these days, a high-priced hooker is one of the few people without a trust fund who could afford several advanced degrees.
That is why you get one degree in a foreign language and skip country.
No one's doing poststructuralism anymore. No one has the time: it takes eight years to finish a four-year PhD program because you're grading papers and delivering pizzas or, in London's case, changing diapers the whole time instead of parsing constipated French verbs in search of their (nominal) political significance. (linguistic pun intended)
Prostitution is the only career path left for literature majors.
same as it ever was.
PhD, Political Science! Dissertation on perverted senators!
Let's face it, this man's entire political career can be summed up in that one golden phrase: Deviant Fecal Act.
I'm surprised he hasn't authored legislation with that title.
His diaper is filled with FREEDOM!
Ahhh….Cocktober. Will there be more surprises? The Wonketeeriate wants s'more Cocktober surprises. Common Joe Miller, where's the tape of you being the Caribou Buckeroo, making time with a musk ox? Oxettte, or even better, a festive ox who will go all a-twitter over your Miami Lice stubble.
A "coupla advanced degrees"? I know the economy is rough, but if she is as lettered as claimed, & presumably fluent in at least one other language, wouldn't Ms Rayne have the chance at academic employment, somewhere, at the lease? Why go into sex-work (given sex-work, outside stripping & "massage" remains illegal, in this country… oh, & there's always porn, but whatever; it hardly pays)?
Have you seen how much starting academics make lately? Girl's gotta pay the rent, which is too damn high.
It doesn't take much to tun a prof into a pro. Just leave off the "f" for "fiscal stability."
She likes poop, hates kids.
"I know the economy is rough, but if she is as lettered as claimed, & presumably fluent in at least one other language, wouldn't Ms Rayne have the chance at academic employment, somewhere, at the lease?"
Not necessarily. I know nearly everything about rabbinic astrology, and a lot about Middle East history in general. Yet the only academic employment I've been able to get has been teaching English in China. (It is definitely a better choice than letting Republicans sh*t on me, but maybe she likes it.)
There are a lot fewer job openings in academe than there are PhDs, which is why I'm enjoying life in China and others are trying out private US universities in Iraq (http://exiledonline.com/neocon-like-me-how-i-spent-a-year-in-iraq-teaching-with-the-bush-cheney-crazies/ )
Kentucky sure tolerates some screwed up religious practices. First, Rand Paul kidnaps a woman and makes her worship "Aqua Buddha" and now we learn Vitter drags a hooker to Kentucky and poops his diaper in celebration of the baby Jeebus' birthday.
Vote for David Vitter the Shitter Critter.
I'm waiting for a comment from the bitter shitter Vitter's twitter.
Lizzie, you're terribly lazy today. Perhaps a G&T would perk up your posts?
I know, sorry, I am in Los Angeles not NYC and it tends to dull the senses a wee bit.I fly back East tomorrow, so I should be back on form later this week.
"…and are my arms tired!"- (badda-bing)
Ain't it just like the night
to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet?
We love bein' in the Senate,
though we're all doin' our best to destroy it.
And David V holds a handful of Rayne temptin' you to enjoy it…
Lights flicker from the opposite House;
In this room he feels like a louse.
The country music station plays soft
But there's nothing, really nothing to turn off:
Just David V and his lover so entwined
And the Steamer, in from Cleveland, that conquers my mind
And Eliot Spitzer had to resign. Man that pisses me off.
Must be great being a republican. Munch all you want, we'll make more.
Relax Libtards, he's just interviewing with FoxNews. Megyn Kelly's hooker name is London Rayne.
I know all is fair in amour and guerre, but "a few advanced degrees," seriously? Those things each take a few years to get; if she has more than two, the only person qualified to call her "girl" anything is her gay best friend.
Says she's 28; and after "a few advanced degrees" is getting a "Masters in Business"… She doesn't know the difference between "respectively" and "respectfully." Fe.
I'm guessin' she doesn't get called on that a lot.
Bought'em from the Universal Life Church?
You would think he would have the common decency to buy American.
The prick.
If this Rayne woman has less than 50 Turd Diamonds to her whore rating, than Vitter has brought shame upon the great state of America.
She requests Be FRESHLY showered (in the last hour), and see that all body hair, and fingernails are groomed to prevent any discomfort.
There's probably an extra charge for fecal excitement.
London Rayne? I think I met her cousin, Goldyn Showyrs.
And their other cousin, Paris Sewers
You said – "But, go GOP and go Tea Party! David Vitter is truly what America is all about: Vicious, corrupt squeaky-voiced middle-aged white-male Republican poop fetishists who evade all consequences for their foul behavior."
You forgot racist…oh well, into everyones life a little Rayne must fall.
does christine know about this?
C'mon, people, this is Louisiana. This news will probably give him a ten-point surge (heh). They've got far more "grace" than South Carolina.
"you must maintain a professional disposition."
Well, clearly he's used to dealing with professionals.
"Does Diaperman David Vitter Have a New Favorite Hooker? "
When I read this, all I could think of was "papa's got a brand new bag".
Please let her be messican, please let her be messican!
And if not, please let her be pre-op.
I'd respect her more if her name was "Mandolyn Rayne," but that's just because I'm a Hornsby fan.
She's better educated than I am, probably makes more money, and has to put up with a lot of shit… I think I made a bad career choice.
"Pants Shitting Experience" clearly tops "Girl Friend Experience" for Diaper Dave.
A pity he never got into Jimi Hendrix.
Or not…
I hear that one can get a tan from standing in the English rain, so I think that means that London Rayne is a lady of color.
Isn't that a traditional value in Louisiana? Where do you think all those quadroons and octoroons come from?
The Love Song of J. Alfred (David) Vitter
In the room the women come and go,
Wiping the butt of Michaelangelo.
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the London Rayne,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the diaperman
Licked its tongue into the corners of the ass-cheeks,
Lingered beneath the urine that from him drains,
Let fall upon its back the shit that falls from Vitter,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the Senate, and fell asleep.
(Yeah, I never did get Eliot…)
My wife is going to be so disappointed when I tell her a prostitute thinks Coach is tacky.
Everyone thinks Coach is tacky. My God just look at it. Vintage Coach is maybe a little okay. You're welcome!
Wouldn't that be a "nom d'amour?"
No snark – just what precious little remains of high school French…
I'm very happy to say I've never "dated" a young lady with her own website that lists her schedule of fees but refuses to be specific (other than to suggest the "urban dictionary" as a reference).
Is London's Rayne's sister "Makeit?"
Hee hee, thought it read "her name seems to have been pooping up all over the place…"
What if he's constipated? Does she have to give him an enema?
The fat Black one, you may be sure.
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