WELFARE QUEEN  5:04 pm October 18, 2010

Communist Traitor Requests Stimulus Money 7 Times For Her Minnesota District

by Ken Layne

Minnesota communist Michele Bachmann (C-USSR) loves Socialism and Barack Obama and Black People so much that all she does is beg her black boyfriend Barack Obama for socialist money from the TAXPAYER so she can spend it on Big Government/Fat-Cat Pelosi porn.

The Star-Tribune reports:

ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota voted against what she calls “the failed Pelosi trillion-dollar stimulus,” but that didn’t stop her from writing letters to federal agencies on behalf of seven grant applications seeking stimulus dollars for her district.

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mrblifil October 18, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Hideous lying harridan is hideously lying.

JoeMamased October 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Needz moar hypocrisy. Wait … no it doesn't.

harry_palmer October 18, 2010 at 5:21 pm

And no doubt when the got they grants Bachmann hosted a ceremony where she gave the grantee a Publisher's Clearing House-sized check, with a sign saying Rep Bachmann "gets things done for Minnesota."

finallyhappy October 18, 2010 at 7:17 pm

as a former federal grants officer- I can tell you that there were times when we were asked to hurry along or hold on to certain awards so that the local politico could be home to announce the award.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2010 at 5:24 pm

NPR did a story on this earlier today. Typical GOP response was, "Well, but not all of those grants/funds requests/lettermarks got funded." Yes, but you still asked, so your caveat DOESN'T MATTER, motherfuckers.

metamarcisf October 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm

I wish I was a registered Minnesota voter in the 6th district. Then I could pee on her flowers, order pizzas to be delivered to her home and write nasty innuendoes on the town water tower.

imissopus October 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Road trip!

metamarcisf October 18, 2010 at 5:47 pm

Toga Party!

mookwrthwilson October 18, 2010 at 9:13 pm

None of those things require being a constituent…I say go for it…

GOPCrusher October 18, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Wasn't it one of her kids that joined AmeriCorps shortly after President Obama was elected, and she had just ended one of her "Our children are going to be indoctrinated by the Government!" rants?

SayItWithWookies October 18, 2010 at 5:37 pm

It's like anal — just 'cause she's morally against it doesn't mean she's not going to ask for it over and over.

twogoats October 18, 2010 at 5:43 pm

She keeps begging Barry for anal, Wonder Woman/FLOTUS going kick her bony white ass to Canada.

Amo_of_Bogio October 18, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Keep her the fuck away from Canada, even if the Canada north of MN is the part nobody cares about…

LetUsBray October 18, 2010 at 10:45 pm

There's an image that warms my heart. And other places.

Steverino247 October 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm

The seven grant applications are:

1) A grant to provide English riding saddles for the dinosaurs in the local musem of natural history.

2) A grant to investigate "Gravity" and its effect on the 6th District.

3) A grant to the local "Drunks Against Mad Mothers" organization to help them get out their message.

4) A grant to provide faith-based lunches to children in private schools.

5) A grant to provide a copy of "The Wit and Wisdom of Michele Bachmann" in every bathroom in the 6th District.

6) A grant to investigate the link between "bat shit" and "crazy."

7) A grant to investigate the cause for and develop a cure for "crazy eyes."

metamarcisf October 18, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Not to mention # 8, a geological survey of the Grand Canyon – before and after the Great Flood.

V572625694 October 18, 2010 at 6:01 pm

I'll bet Tim Geithner would like to ask her a few questions about this.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 18, 2010 at 6:08 pm

She also likes the free Federal money she gets for her unproductive farm land.

axmxz October 18, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Conservatives summed up in brief: welfare queens against welfare.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Conservatives summed up in brief: welfare queens against welfare for brown people.


Pragmatist2 October 18, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Minnesotans need stimulation more than most people.

JustPixelz October 18, 2010 at 6:34 pm

"…the Northstar Commuter Rail Line, the St. Croix bridge, road upgrades and a broadband expansion…"

Broadband expansion would explain why her district doesn't listen to Our Wonkette.

awesome_dude October 18, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Where in the constitution does it say she has the right to not be a hypocrit? It's all Obama's fault, tempting her with his socialism, ready to be rammed down her throat.

cymchikster October 18, 2010 at 7:01 pm

This sounds just like what my idiot sister does all the time: "Methadone is WRONG! There's no justifiable excuse to EVER use Methadone! It's THE EXACT SAME THING as heroin!! If you hear somebody stutter, they're probably using METHADONE!

" I got only take it because I get tension headaches."

True story.

x111e7thst October 19, 2010 at 7:33 am

So are you saying that if I claim to have tension headaches I can get a script for methadone?

MiniMencken October 18, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Say, as part of a large collection of early New England farm and craft implements I inherited, there was a large wooden dildo described in the notes as a "mare tickler," for getting horses in the mood. I wonder if this could be worked into a really funny joke about Michelle Bachmann and Stimulus money… Hmmmm. Well, I'm stumped for now but I feel better for having put it out there, as the kids say.

PsycWench October 18, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Did she learn this skill from her friend "Thanks but no thanks" Sarah Palin?

A friend who worked at a clinic that performed abortions said that it was not that unusual to see young women in demonstrations against the clinic, and days or weeks later to see them IN the clinic. Bad stuff is only bad when you don't find yourself in need of it.

Lascauxcaveman October 19, 2010 at 12:06 am

It's those Right to Life Rally afterparties; they are just fucking wild!

Dr_pangloss October 18, 2010 at 9:56 pm

The Teabagger Super powers of Bachmann enable her to be a typical Warshington politician and a small government cuntservative. Its the green energy solution to all the fried cheese eating hovermoblies.

transfatz October 18, 2010 at 9:59 pm

C'mon seven. Winner winner chicken dinner!

LionelHutzEsq October 18, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Please, both parties do it. I mean, there must have been tons of Democrats that voted against the Iraq war and yet secretly wrote the generals asking them to bomb the shit out of everything.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 19, 2010 at 7:27 am

She needs it for her baby farm.

EatsBabyDingos October 19, 2010 at 11:15 am

9) A statue honoring the Greek thinkers Hypocrites and his ball-less bag boy Testecles, who said "but the Romans are our friends and have much better vomitoriums than us." Testecles was then hung for not using the appropriate plural for vomitorium, "vomitoria," said name now the vernacular for the voting districts of MInnesota.

As Root Boy Slim said: "Put a dime in the juke; boogy till you puke!"

And as for said Root Boy Slim, he was expelled from his frat at Princeton by the cheerleader/boy president of the frat, one Geo. W. Bush (nee Frankendildo), for wearing outlandish garb when Root Boy's band played a gig at the frat house the year before. True story. And for those who dislike the word "frat" for "fraternity," and say "you wouldn't call your country a cunt," I say, "Nay, sir, the vomitoria have spoken, and she is our Queen."

She needs a cereal/evil being named for her, like "Cunt Dracula."

mrpuma2u October 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm

I knew she was a lying strumpet, but sheesh! Seven times! What a hussy….can someone PLEASE do a jungle fever mock up on youtube? I would but I am not that technically gifted.

Troubledog October 20, 2010 at 10:25 am

Speaking of being technically gifted, If I could become black, I'd never go back.

mavenmaven October 18, 2010 at 5:16 pm

In this case, that's a nightmare inducing image.

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