myth: president obama is going to get to work closing gitmo

President Relegated To Basic-Cable TeeVee Show

When did an appearance by the President of the United States become merely a small cameo?It used to be that every time you turned on the sports, President Obama would be there, talking about how much he likes the sports. It was all very confusing! Like, you would be watching a baseball game, and all of a sudden the president was in the booth talking about this baseball game, and all you could think was, “That’s nice, but don’t you have something more presidenty to do?” But the sports have kicked the president out of them, apparently, because Barack Obama is now forced to appear on shows even farther down the teevee dial. Yes, the leader of the free world is going to be on that MythBusters show you sometimes watch when you are stoned.

“Did Greek scientist and polymath Archimedes set fire to an invading Roman fleet using only mirrors and the reflected rays of the sun?” a press release for the show asks. “Will Adam and Jamie be able to pull this off, or will they have to report back to the president that they failed?”

Producers of the television series are not saying exactly how Mr. Obama will help prove — or disprove — that myth. But the first presidential appearance is intended to help spur interest in math and science as part of the White House effort to increase American competitiveness in those subjects.

Jesus Christ.

This man has a kabillion tons of death machines at his disposal. He does not have to play with a magnifying glass and the ants on the ground. And how will his appearing on this show make kids interested in math and science? Is Obama going to reach through the teevee screen and take away their Justin Bieber posters and hand out engineering scholarships? This is all very strange. The president is appearing on a channel from the same cable conglomerate that will air Sarah Palin‘s teevee show. And he can’t even get a full series from them!

Is it because Congress won’t pass anything for him to sign? Is that why he just shows up on crap like this all the time? Can he actually be sitting around bored at that job? [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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47 comments

  1. V572625694

    Didn't they watch that episode of "The X Files" where Joe Miller and that redheaded babe were almost vaporized by a satellite-based death ray?

    1. LionelHutzEsq

      On Futurama they actually did vaporize them, but it turned out to a clone of Joe Miller, produced by Sarah Palin with alien DNA, as part of her plans at world conquest.

  2. Kidneys4Sale

    When they fail to light the ship on fire, Hopey will blow the bajeezus out of it with a Predator Drone, then look deep into the camera and say "Now that's science, bitches" and our edumacashunz will be saved.

  3. Lucidamente1

    I thought there was going to be an episode devoted to "The 10th Amendment justifies whatever retarded shit teabaggers happen to believe in."

  4. edgydrifter

    Why do the show? He gets to spend an afternoon with Kari Byron in a toga, that's why. The presidency seems like kind of a pain in the ass most of the time. Savor the perks when you can.

  5. JMPEsq

    Let's face it, are there many of us here who wouldn't, as President, use our power and fame to get an appearance on MythBusters?

    Bush tried to get an appearance on his favorite TV show when he was President, and couldn't understand why he couldn't meet Dora no matter how often they tried to explain that she was just a drawing, not a real person.

    1. Kidneys4Sale

      All he really wanted to do was pull a Hoover and be the one to bust her little illegal brown ass for the cameras. But when they put him in an all-green room with a set of handcuffs and a guy with cue-cards he just broke down in tears, sobbing something about Santa Claus and the Bunkrupt Business Fairy.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe they could drag Leonard Nimoy out of stasis and he could co-host a special "In Search of" on the birth certificate. Of course, it would not be a long show, all they would have to do is put up the web address where it's located.

  6. OneYieldRegular

    No, but it's going to be meticulously reconstructed using only straw, catgut, papyrus reeds, coconut palms, and black lava rock, and catapulted over a crenellated castle wall to prove its authenticity.

  7. DoktorZoom

    Jeeze, if they're going to recycle stories they've already done, I'd much rather see them determine whether Air Force One could take off from a giant treadmill (It would, of course, but it would be fun to watch).

  8. Failed_2_Menace

    This was the show's second choice, used only when the Bush/Cheney reps responded that they aren't available to smash the notion that every global conflict begins with reasonable justification until the statute of limitations on war crimes expires.

  9. Katydid

    Oh please stop running that photo. I can't stand to see my Barry in those jeans, and I don't wanna remember his humiliating pitch.

  10. Fare la Volpe

    You all laugh, but don't forget that Ronald Reagan starred in a presidential sitcom for 8 years.

  11. SudsMcKenzie

    "sometimes watch when you are stoned".

    Lemmi know when he's on Spong Bob. I'd spark one up for 'merica, or the science, or, like whatever for that.

  12. freakishlywrong

    Now, if they could only explode the myth of bi-partisanship, we'd have ourselves a really good shoooow…

  13. metamarcisf

    If this works out well, Obama could angle for a guest appearance on the History Channel pissfest, "Chasing Mummies" starring noted Egyptologist and Muslin, Dr. Zahi Hawass. How about a scene where Hawass traps Obama in a secret passageway beneath the Bent Pyramid? Or has this been done?

  14. Twinklesnot

    I'd kinda like to see him on "Hoarders"….have them stage the White House like he and FLOTUS and the girls have completely trashed it and are buried in Bo-crap and old copies of National Geographic and Ebony. Then Geraldo could enter and find his birftificate under a pile of cats and melon rinds, like that one racist photo shows.

  15. Come here a minute

    The prez is going to show his interest in science and using Archimedean lasers to blow up Roman ships by demonstrating his pentagon death rays — this will make every kid interested in math and science, for the killing.

  16. donner_froh

    Maybe this will be the beginning of a Reagan-like reinvention for the prez. He will do some TV, hit the lecture circuit, get kind of elder statesmanish and in 20 years–get elected President again.

  17. problemwithcaring

    I am probably the only person alive that still likes his ass in those mom jeans. I hate myself.

  18. LionelHutzEsq

    Obama is going to produce it, and then it is going to mysteriously burst into flames before anyone can look at it.

  19. BornInATrailer

    <boop> *beep* <boop-boop>

    …Watered-Down Legislation… Patriot Act Renewals… Base-Eroding Compromises…

    …next on How It's Made.

  20. axmxz

    This is actually a secret indoctrination move to subconsciously hypnotize the US population into believing that they do not need a massively expensive missile-defense shield in Poland. In other words, anti-colonialist treason.

  21. GOPCrusher

    I fully expect that to happen, also. We need President Palin to restore dignity to the office of the Presidency.

  22. thx11380

    Once again, Jack Stuef fails to surprise as he pretends to be joking about hating on Obama. Whatever it takes to build up the resume for that dream gig in right wing moron media. Everyone has to aim high eh Jack!

  23. DoktorZoom

    No, they're deriding Obama's wasting up to an hour of valuable time on it, time that he should be spending getting America working again (except that if he actually were working on the economy, they'd complain about what he was doing).

Comments are closed.