Joe Miller Arrests Reporter For Asking Illegal Questions

Dear Liberal Alaska Media: Joe Miller was not flirting with you when he said "I will not answer anymore questions about myself or my campaign, get bent." Sure, you might have been confused because isn't Joe Miller running for United States Senate? Maybe. Or maybe you should mind your own business? Either way, Joe Miller will arrest you. Joe Miller is a lawyer, so he knows there is plentiful legal precedent for handcuffing people who ask you questions. "Questions" is actually one of the grievances in the Declaration of Independence. ("We're tired of King George's constant questions. Next time he opens his trap, Ben Franklin is gonna handcuff your dumb Limey king to a kite, and then let him float around in a lightning storm.") Um, Joe Miller should probably stop arresting people and just say "no comment."

The culprit was Tony Hopfinger, editor of the evil Alaska Dispatch Internet website. Let's see why he deserved to be arrested (ha ha, who are we kidding? He asked a question , that's why!):

Tony Hopfinger was handcuffed by [Miller's private security] guards and detained in a hallway at Central Middle School until Anchorage police came and told the guards to release Hopfinger.

...

Hopfinger, who was holding a small video camera, said he was attempting to draw out a statement from Miller on why he was disciplined by the Fairbanks North Star Borough when Miller worked there as a part-time attorney. After Miller walked away, Hopfinger said, he was surrounded by Miller supporters and security guards and felt threatened, so he pushed one of them away.

Yeah, like we said, "no comment" seems to work most of the time? That's not nearly as fun/embarrassing as handcuffing people though! [ Anchorage Daily News ]