Rand Paul Asks Aqua Buddha For Guidance At Kentucky-Fried Debate

• Legitimate heir to the rEVOLution Rand Paul exchanged heated words last night with Jack Conway, who has a big head and likes to read. Everyone was excited to hear these two men talk about the issues -- whose father knows the most about gold/is the coolest? -- but that's not what Rand wanted to talk about, no sir. Instead, Rand spent half the debate yelling at Conway for making fun of his secretive religion, Aqua Buddhism. It is true that during his college years Rand Paul would occasionally attend Aqua Church at the bottom of the ocean, but everyone does that kind of stuff in college. Besides, Rand doesn't even practice Aqua Buddhism anymore, although sometimes he does give up Medicare for Aqua Lent. Why does Jack Conway hate religious tolerance? [ AP ]

• Wikileaks is expected to release 400,000 Iraq-related documents today or tomorrow. America will care about these documents for maybe ten minutes and then everyone will return to their daily routine of searching for "Jenna Bush upskirt." [Telegraph ]

• We finally have the results from Afghanistan's latest parliamentary elections: Incumbent "Fraud" won with almost twenty-five percent of the vote, hooray! We knew you could do it, Fraud. [ NYT ]