paladino's an abortionist too!

Taiwan Animators Fantasize About Carl Paladino’s Gay Campaign


Who knew Carl Paladino would be so much fun, what with his homosexual gay-man night clubs and the boobies and the gay parades? We thought he was just an ignorant boring gazillionaire creep who forced racist porn on his underlings!

Crazy Carl realized his “hate da gayz” thing was falling off the Twitter Rankings or whatever, so he got a new belief: Loving the gays. In fact, now he says Andrew Cuomo doesn’t love gays enough — not as much as Carl “I am basically gay” Paladino.

What other Republican Family Values does Paladino practice, for rent? Abortion! He is the landlord for the abortion clinic. So he’s one of the few people actually profiting from Abortion, which is kind of awesome in a way, if you are a creep. And he is a creep:

(NEW YORK) — The anti-abortion Republican candidate for New York Governor is the landlord of a Planned Parenthood …. On his website, Paladino calls abortion a “fundamental assault on the sanctity of innocent human life.”

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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45 comments

  1. JoeMamased

    He's just the gift that keeps on giving.

    It will be so sad when there is no longer any Carl Paladino news.

    1. DashboardBuddha

      There will always be Paladino news. He'll whine for months about how he lost because the press picked on him…then he'll get a talk show bitching about Cuomo.

  2. PsycWench

    Remember, people, it's bad unless you're making money from it, in which case it's still bad but hey, look at all this money, what did you say again?

  3. edgydrifter

    The guy's name is Cuomo, which is basically QUeer + hOMO. How are you going to top that, Palpatino?

  4. PublicLuxury

    Palintino is just Palin + dino

    Palin eats moose, Palindino wants his wife to fuck a moose.

    Palin shoots wolves from the air, Palindino wants shoot his seed into a wolf.

    I knew they were cousins… brother/sister…

  5. SayItWithWookies

    It's inconceivable that Carl is anti-abortion when his own proclivities are giving his campaign such a D&C. But as he probably says, you can't make an omelette without killing some fetuses.

  6. Jukesgrrl

    Wow, Cuomo doesn't even have to campaign, does he? He can just sit around the pricey Manhattan co-op enjoying the attentions of that failed-beauty-pageant contestant shill he lives with. "And now, darling, eat your casserole made from stuffing-in-a-box, then I'll give you a nice blow job like you'd never get from a Kennedy."

  7. el_donaldo

    I like how they visualize the metaphor of being beaten up by the press – reporters with baseball bats just whanging on him . It did feel kinda good.

  8. mavenmaven

    I just wish they had reenacted the scene with the Rabbis, that would probably have been a spectacular bit of animation.

  9. Terry

    I'm not sure what the best part of this animation is. Humping dogs emerging out of a computer screen. Guys in dirty tightie whities spanking each other. Palandino pulling a Capone era gun out and shooting pretty much everyone and everything. Bravo!

  10. V572625694

    I like to imagine that the reporter Paladino "takes out" with that machine pistol is one of those douches from Politico that's always on the teevee — maybe the chrome-dome one who laughs too much. He's got it coming.

  11. fuflans

    god.

    a random taiwanese videographer can put out a pretty accurate repub hypocrite list (i mean, ken melman, larry craig and glenn murphy???) and most americans couldn't place his county on a map, name its president or correctly identify its system of government.

    god.

  12. Guppy06

    The real crime here is that his taste in porn is pretty hit-and-miss. If you're going to be known for sending around porn, it should be good porn!

  13. PresBeeblebrox

    That video might be the finest piece of reportage ever created in the history of the universe. The subtlety of Paladino in a diaper being spanked during a gay pride parade, taking out his opponents with a submachine gun – it's simply priceless.

    Oh wait, there was that one they did about Cheeseheads and Brett Favre

  14. dr_giraud

    The next truly, truly special night of this campaign is Monday, with the 7-candidate NY Governor debate. In addition to Cuomo and Paladino, there will be an ex-madam (who is also advised by tongue bandit Roger Stone), an amiable fellow from suburban Albany who runs for something every election, an ex-Black Panther and God knows who else.

    We can haz liveblog??? (Sorry, lolcats just got to upstate New York.)

  15. UpToHereAgain

    Have they got all the Gay Paladino's into one room yet
    for the Big Interview
    about their Queer Phobic Grandpappy "candidate for governor"?

  16. UpToHereAgain

    On his website, Paladino calls abortion a “fundamental assault on the sanctity of innocent human life.”

    At home,
    he counts the winnings from his overpriced rental fees for Planned Parenthood.

    It's a special Tea Flavored Schitzophrenia!

  17. Mort_Sinclair

    Is there an Italotaiwanian voting block out that somewhere? Taiwitalianese? Oh never mind. Pass the box of wine over, svp.

  18. HistoriCat

    This is what happens when businessmen run for office. They're so used to doing whatever they want without being called on it since they can fire anyone who disagrees with them. Sorry, no funny there at all.

Comments are closed.