Muslins are everywhere, and the only way to stop their rise to power in America is to remind Americans that Muslins may indeed be everywhere.
Black people, for example, are very likely to be both a) running for office or holding elected office and b) Muslin, because they are black. Did you know the first Muslins all started probably in Deepest Africa more than 200 years ago? And yet still we are threatened! [WHIO/Salon via Wonkette operative "Michael W."]
{ 79 comments }
So if we look intently for them, this would be a Muslin canvass?
If it were muslin-canvas, it'd have the makings of a weirdly smooth yet durable poly-blend.
Spell-check, don't fail me now…
The weird thing about this is, muslin is such a useful fabric. I especially like it for applying wood-finishing products. So why do these people keep hating on the muslins?
Because they killed us on nine eleven!! Don't you read Balls O'Really?
Muslin is the new black
Redfern?
I smell an Onion!
Is Josh Mandel really Pee Wee Herman on assignment?
Pee Wee isn't as closeted.
If you think is Muslin accusation is scummy you should hear what he said about polyester.
The real tragedy is that we all know that the scum is actually caused by hard water, not the fabrics.
All the "s" sounds in that headline and the word "despicable" made me imagine Daffy Duck saying it or maybe Rudy Giuliani and then I peed myself.
This muslin takeover is obviously part of a larger insidious satinic plot orchestrated by furrin seer suckers to recover the world. And it twill happen. Oh yes it twill.
total win.
Are we corduroy invited to a pun-off? Oh! Weave already started.
Me and Brian Doherty are fed up with people of your silk!
One of these days, I'd like see one of these "Muslin!" accusations get the proper response, not this "That accusation is despicable!" but "It's despicable to imply that this shit matters.".
Or better yet, "Yeah, I'm a Muslin, what's it to ya, cracker?"
Dave, is that you? Seriously, Chapelle's in Yellow Springs, Ohio (home of William McKinley), maybe he can explain the issues to this piece of po white trash.
So this Boyce is running against somebody named Nathan Spewman…?
They have the same problem in Switzerland; there's a whole lot of mueslix-hatin' going on. Yodel-ay-he-hoo!!
Are they going to steal the mueslix's artwork and hide the mueslix-hater's munnies?
Worse. They're cereal killers.
Hey, you could work your fiber gag into that one as well.
Was that an attack ad, or a Kanye West homage?
Either way, it was pretty fuckin' Corky. (Tacky, too!)
I knew that shit looked familiar, thanks for the link.
Needs more dancing crackheads.
Through shariah, thru the limit, to the law…
Certainly this calls for lengthy Congressional hearings to determine who in this country is now, or has ever been, a Muslin, and to insure that at a minimum they never work in Hollywood again.
We'll know it's happening when every good drama is credited to writers named John Smith and Jane Doe.
Or when Alan Smithee gets kidnapped and held hostage.
This sounds like a job for Michele Bachmann!
The Jewz in charge of Hollywood will ensure our movies and the TV are muslin free. The only thing the Jewz hate more than the muslins are the gehz. And now Carl Paladino….
This is the fabric of our great nation: the cottons, the muslins, the silks, satins and sateens, the crepes, the ginghams; even the terrys.
Don't neglect the Nylons and the polyesters, and really, we're a country that reinvented the Tweeds. My favorite fabric of this great nation (even though I live in Communist France) is: Lenpur fabric is made of white pine wood scraps, it offers "the comfort of silk, the feel of cashmere and the coolness of linen. Yeppers. Wood underwear. That's what we're really about, this fabric of nation us, we are, yes.
Really? I willl look for it next time along with verveine tea and chocolate banana croissants. AlsIo thought France was socialist and muslin?
Needs more quivery Aaron Neville.
this is racism against cordouroy…. fabricism?…
Don't forget whatever those Lulu Lemon pants are made of, one of the great gifts to mankind. Never have so many flat asses been lifted so far.
The Founding Fathers (and mothers) used muslin quite a bit in their clothing. 9/11 conspiracies go back further than I ever imagined.
they used a lot of hemp, too. even grew it. we had no idea they were so evil and misguided.
I have muslin in my pants. Just sayin'.
This is begging for an all new episode of The Adventures Of Letterman on one of the PBS kid shows. Osama Bin Laden is just about to bomb the Toys R Us or the Chucky-Cheese, or something, when our hero swoops down, rips the "N" off his chest, and turns ol' Osama into a drape. Huh? Huh???
‘Muslin Allegations’ Called ‘Despicable’ and ‘Scummy’??
Didn't Tim Gunn say that to Valerie Mayen before she got tossed off Runway?
Is muslin like metamucil but with more fiber? A cloth that is really the shits?
next thing you know, they'll be accusing him of being human, or irish, or something really despicable, such as literate.
Look how clean he is, thinking he's better'n us.
But does he have that mark of the beast: YALE VALUES????
The muslins are coming! The muslins are coming. Pattern makers around the world to pay homage at the coming muslins event. That almost sounds sexual — the coming muslins. Very prurient of me.
Well, you have to give the GOP a point. It is not like you would want any dissenter religions in this country. Thank God all real Americans are members of the Church of England.
And so what if it is false. First the Democrats let blacks into our world, soon enough they will be treating Muslims as if they were human. Or at least like they were any other loosely-woven cotton fabric.
Is it no wonder we need the Tea Party to return us to the true religion of Queen Elizabeth and thick, itchy wool clothing?
Too complicated. Can they redo with a blackboard?
I for one want to know more about "the relationship of Boyce's top deputy to bank lobbyist Noure Alo": is Alo a bottom? is Boyce?
Look. We know from the ad that Alo is an a-hole, so – 'ello! it follows that Alo the a-hole is also a go for the cornhole!
I think that might just be the closest I've ever come to writing poetry. Or whatever it is…
I heard his sister is a thespian! You know, a Jezebel commenter.
A thespian is the same thing as a drama queen, isn't it?
/snark off
The Teaturds are les pieds noirs of a changing America, and like Algeria's black feet, they don't like change. Were gonna have to carry them one tard at a time into the 21st century. Likely it will take a long time, and get worse before it gets better.
/snark on
So in the mean time we must try to put as much poo in their pockets as we can. Poo, poopie do.
Good reference to the pied noirs.
Of course all black people are Muslims. That's why I hide behind the Asian people, because they all know Kung-Fu.
There is Chinese Muslim Kung-fu, you know.
This Sherrif's real problem is that he is near, muslin ain't the half of it. And uppity, too, all law-degree-having and suit-wearing, like he thinks he's white.
"Are you now, or have you ever been, a Muslin?"
I got me some Muslin. It's hangin' time. Well, curtain hangin' time.
I am a satinist.
This incident denim-strates the need for moire tolerance in our public discourse. Voters should not be suede by the religion of a candidate.
It's time for these muslins to remove damask and show their true fiber.
I don't cotton to all this punning
Quit pulling the wool over your own eyes.
Your guys are on quite the tear!
OT, teh Polico's Scatological Editor and Journalism Intern Ben Dover Smith has a piece on how Mittens new book made the best seller list. He forced groups at gun point to buy tens of thousands of copies of the Heritage Foundation ghost-written piece of shit. How can he pull the trigger when he's wearing mittens?
I'm going to run for office on a pro-muslin platform.
First you'll have to change your name to something like "Barack Hussein Obama"…
Muslin shows up quite a bit in the works of Jane Austen -several of which I read during my time at the Philadelphia HS for Girls- when Jeremiah Wright's mother was one of our vice principals. We were being indoctrinated- who knew Jane Austen was on "their" side.
Remind me to tell you about the time I had to explain to someone that Muslim's weren't moon-god worshippers and that "Allah" was their name for God from the Christian Bible.
This is par for the course in Ohio. We have John Kasich running for governor against Ted Strickland, the centrist Democrat, Rob Portman running against a solid longtime dem in Lee Fisher for Senate, and Mike DeWine trying to oust incumbent attorney general Richard Cordray, who's been the best AG the state has seen since … god knows when. All Washington insiders. All GOP slimeballs.
Now this. I've seen these ads over and over again and I'm sick of seeing this grinning idiot posing with his beard.
But…but…Mike DeWine will TAKE ON OBAMACARE. And Rob Portman wears jeans in his ads. So how can those guys be Washington Insiders?
While drifting off to sleep last night to the local news (which was 20% Obama's visit to Ohio State and 80% Aftermath of the Buckeyes' loss to Wisconsin) I believe I actually heard an ad attacking a Democratic STATE REP for being a "Washington Insider." Srsly?
You know what else came from the heart of Deepest Africa? Ebola, that's what!
I'm not sayin', but I'm just sayin'.
"Josh Mandel – I killed Muslims in Iraq and I'll try to kill them over here!"
You know, I really don't think this was a muslim baiting ad. It's more like "hey this fellow is shady". Which he might be.
Y'all can start throwing pies now.
So it would seam.
But should we repeal Damask Don't Tell?
I'm so ashamed.
Let 'er rip.
Comments on this entry are closed.