• May 26, 2012
TRUTHING

October 15, 2010

‘Baby’s Snatch’ Ends Hilariously With Classic Government Restraint

by Jack Stuef  

America the BeautifulThat whole Teabagger baby-stealing episode is finally over, and the child has been given to its parents, even though those parents still do not have custody of two previous children, who are now in foster care because a judge ruled the father had abused one of them. This is confusing all the Teabaggers who were ready to launch an insurrection against the government for “snatching baby’s,” because the government is actually restraining itself here, even though that may not turn out to be in the best interests of the child, who is still a U.S. citizen the government has some responsibility to protect from being assaulted or killed. It’s hard for the Teabaggers to believe the big, scary government would actually give the parents a chance to care for this child without beating it, so they won’t think about it. Instead, they will focus on an insane accusation that GOVMINT AGENTS RAPED THAT BABY.

This reunion is touching:

Tensions rose when Johnathon Irish’s father, John Irish, told a reporter within earshot of Johnathon Irish that his son had spent a portion of his childhood in facilities for juveniles and had gotten in trouble with the law. He added that Johnathon Irish deserved to be scrutinized by the state.

“DCYF was acting properly to protect that child,” said John Irish, who said he’s been estranged from his son for at least five years. “There were two other children who were also taken from their home.”

Johnathon Irish, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, then approached his father, standing inches from his face.

These people are basically the living embodiment of Nathan Hale.

Taylor and Irish said they are still fighting to regain custody of the two boys.

Meanwhile, the couple will begin raising their daughter. They sat in McDonald’s eating burgers and fries while waiting for 4 p.m., the time Haskell was due to pick Cheyenne up at the police department.

Please click through to the story and see the gut bearing a “9/11 was an inside job t-shirt” standing next to the new happy family.

And of course, here is the brilliant rape theory a Teabagger sent to us:

This story has taken a pretty heavy turn, and I’d have all you that mock this struggling family know that it’s looking like THE BABY WAS PROBABLY RAPED in the care of either the CPS or of the foster family it went to. Baby Cheyanne is being seen by a sexual assault specialist this afternoon after CPS, in the presence of the family, found BLOOD seeping from the newborn’s private areas. The deputy is reportedly interviewing the foster family today. MOCK AWAY YOU SICKOS – THE GOVT KNOWS WHAT’S BEST RIGHT? I’m really starting to wonder if this is the soft of banter one would hear in Nazi Germany before the fit hit the shan.

Yep. That’s definitely what happened. (And nice save avoiding that swear at the end! Jesus almost got mad at you!) [Concord Monitor via Reason]

{ 168 comments }

seppdecker October 15, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Please click through to the story and see the gut bearing a “9/11 was an inside job t-shirt” standing next to the new happy family.

That brave soul is the face gut of a nation.

Ducksworthy October 15, 2010 at 2:57 pm

On the back it says "The Joos Done It"

Lascauxcaveman October 15, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Actually, it's Wonkette commenter Gurukuruhularhururu, apparently catching the fall colors in New England. Ask him about WTC7.

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 2:00 pm

"I’m really starting to wonder if this is the soft of banter one would hear in Nazi Germany before the fit hit the shan."

Doubt it; first off, no internet back in 1930's Germany, and if there had been, government monitoring of same would probably have led to all the von Kettes of the day to seek asylum in Paris.

chilequiles October 15, 2010 at 2:07 pm

yes, a veritable Von Trapp family we have here…

the_problem_child October 15, 2010 at 2:14 pm

von Kettes would not have survived long under a Vichy regime either. Vive la résistance!

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Es ist die weiche Geplänkel von abgesenkt Ausrufe.

Lascauxcaveman October 15, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Sie vergaßen "die büttsecks" zu sagen.

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm

"Es ist die weiche Geplänkel von abgesenkt Ausrufe."

Is that anything like the low spark of high-heeled boys?

V572625694 October 15, 2010 at 4:05 pm

What a great album. Thanks for calling it to mind.

edgydrifter October 15, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Well, if "what's best" means something better than life with a serial-abusing, meth-smoking, shades-in-court-wearing fuckface babyshaker… then YES, TEH GVORNMINT NOES BEST!!

SayItWithWookies October 15, 2010 at 2:03 pm

It's too bad Bristol's so busy dancing with the stars, 'cause I'm sure she'd have some excellent parenting advice for this couple. Why they don't simply hire a nanny and then sell their story to E! like normal humans do is beyond comprehension.

Missyb9479 October 15, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Better use the "these injuries were from the foster parents" excuse while they can. It won't work after a few weeks.

Triscuits October 15, 2010 at 6:38 pm

I'd "thumbs up" that, but it's too depressingly true.

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 2:05 pm

I don't know if it's a good thing that, when I cruise over to another tab on my browser for a moment, the tab at the top of this page merely says "Baby's Snatch." And the boss just came by, too.

Gleem_McShineys October 15, 2010 at 8:19 pm

"It's not what you think! The site is more about assfucking!"

DashboardBuddha October 15, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I wish we could have heard the discussion between father and son.

Gratuitous World October 15, 2010 at 2:07 pm

"All right – we'll give some foster kids to the n****** and the c*****, but we don't want the Irish!"

CessnaDriver October 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm

There are two things I hate-people who don't respect other cultures and the Dutch!

tbogg October 15, 2010 at 2:07 pm

If Irish kills the baby, they should put the little body in a big jar and give it to Brian Doherty as a trophy to keep on his desk. You know, as a conversation starter about the dangers of big government.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Why hasn't Doherty been ostracized by other bloggers over this? I don't understand. The only other blogger who has blasted Reason for its monstrous, callous stupidity is Tom Scocca over at Slate.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Do any of the other bloggers actually READ Doherty's writing?

axmxz October 15, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Whiskey and dead babies in the jar.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 3:16 pm

They should put the baby in two jars, as a tribute to Brian Doherty's Solomonic wisdom.

imissopus October 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I'm Rick Santorum and I approve of this idea.

DoktorZoom October 16, 2010 at 1:14 am

True fact: the hairy Reasoners have cited this comment as proof that those nasty Wonketteers are just HOPING the kid dies, all so the evil statists can smugly say "told ya so."

Sheesh, no. We're hoping the kid dies because we're misanthropic nihilists.

mumbly_joe October 16, 2010 at 8:43 am

And also, this is different from how Reasoners HOPING that the kid was abused in custody and incidentally, also HOPING for another Oklahoma City in the comments threads is because, umm…. err…. errrrrrrrr….

fuhrius October 15, 2010 at 2:08 pm

…found BLOOD seeping from the newborn’s private areas.

how many dicks does this liberty-cracker baby have? i thought it was private "parts" not "areas"…i mean i thought the parts (cock and balls etc.) where in the same area. is the asshole a "private area?"
but let me clear- jack booted gubment thugs making liberty infants bleed from the crotch is wrong.

CapnFatback October 15, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I’m really starting to wonder if this is the soft of banter one would hear in Nazi Germany before the fit hit the shan.

"You're listening to WSS Radio, with your wacky morning garten hosts, Otto und Da Colonel!"
"Hey, Otto!"
"Ja, Colonel?!"
"Jew hear about that sweet baby snatch last night?!"
"Ja! I hear you really ucked it in the fass!"
"Uh oh, here comes Sergeant Soundeffects!"
[BOING! AROOGA! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!]

AngryGeometer October 15, 2010 at 3:08 pm

The Nazis held roasts for the Jews too, you know.

Fare la Volpe October 15, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Irish bought a new belt buckle for just this occasion.

smokefilledroommate October 15, 2010 at 2:09 pm

At McDonald's, Irish and Taylor were reunited with Cheyenne, hugging and kissing her while attempting to insert french fries into the newborn's nostrils. "This is how babies eat!" proudly exclaimed Taylor.

Not_So_Much October 15, 2010 at 2:57 pm

The McDonalds-only infant diet would explain why the baby may (probably not) have volcanic, bloody, diarrhea from it's 'private area'…

MistaEko October 15, 2010 at 2:10 pm

This proves George Carlin's famous comment that rape can be funny.

amalgamated_inc October 15, 2010 at 2:13 pm

You'd think that the Teabaggers who are supposedly interested in the welfare of this baby would have read beyond the first paragraph of this article to see the _two_ avowals from various people that the baby is just fine:
http://www.concordmonitor.com/article/220349/baby...

ALL TEH WURDZ IZ MAKE MAH HED HURT. MOAR SUNGLAZZIS.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 4:45 pm

You are assuming 1. That tea baggers actually read and 2. That any tea bagger is on anything more than a nodding acquaintance with actual facts.

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 12:02 am

Yeah.. and these t ea baggers they believe that the banks stole the money, and that Iraq was invaded for oil, and they believe that some people are trying to get rid of our constitution, and that Hillary Clinton is going to take our guns away. I looked it all up.
I was brought up to respect our government, Obama is trying to do his best. We must stand by him.

MoeDeLawn October 15, 2010 at 2:14 pm

keep snatchin' that babby.

Radiotherapy October 15, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Estranged father…check.
Juvenile detention….check
Sunglasses stand-off….check.
CPS…check
McDonald's…check
Kid named Cheyenne…check
Teabagger conspiricist…check
Chid rape….check
Nazi reference…check

I don't know where this is going, or that President Palin can fix it, but I am going to work with a profound sadz.

badseeds October 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm

New Hampshire . . . check

(I can do this because I live here. No classist, moi.)

Terry October 16, 2010 at 7:46 am

My New England born, Yankee father doesn't use the actual name of the state. It was years before I knew that Vermont, Massachusetts, and Maine didn't border on "that bunch of God damned ridge runners".

AlldayEveryday October 15, 2010 at 3:39 pm

for me, the "Estranged father" is the key-
so much of the tea party rhetoric is about how the gov is going to completely dominate you, usurp your authority in relation to your family, your property, your whatever – these are all basic male power issues – and who do you imagine most feels the sting of this type of propaganda? males who feel powerless, males who crave respect, but do not know who to attain it, or in short: males who grew up with "estranged fathers".

Terry October 16, 2010 at 7:48 am

I'd throw in there that the also tend to be people whose performance economically and in life hasn't reached their expectations.

elviouslyqueer October 15, 2010 at 2:15 pm

rst at the Reason comment board writes: Is that Wonkette cunt brigade crying now?

Hooray! We've shot right past Warblog and directly to cunt brigade. USA USA USA!

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:23 pm

You can bring up the rear! (But don't tell!)

SexySmurf October 15, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Wonkette isn't crying. That's blood seeping from its cunt brigade.

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 2:29 pm

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt… me.

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Yeah, but a proper nemesis needs to be worthy of their foe; these Reason child abuse defending idiots are worthy nemeses to Wonkette as much as the Nerd Trio was to Buffy.

CZL October 15, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Excellent classical reference.

easynewz October 16, 2010 at 12:03 am

Double win for 'Snatch' reference. Ucking Fawsome!

nappyduggs October 15, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Let's just go ahead and t-shirt that up right quick. It'll go over big at all of the smartest rallies this season!

Not_So_Much October 15, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Does that mean our leader is the Clit?

JustPixelz October 15, 2010 at 3:06 pm

The Palin, it seems.

Cicada October 15, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Is Clit Palin the one after Bristol?

Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Clearly not. They name those droplings after things they've actually played with, or on, or have driven or heard on the classic rock station or something. Clits belong to that other kind of feminism: the one with the godless, family-hating commnits in it.

CUNextTuesday October 15, 2010 at 9:52 pm

No, that's Twat. Clit comes after Queif, THEN Bristol.

slappypaddy October 15, 2010 at 3:42 pm

i am so honored to be a member of the wonkette cunt brigade, proudly serving since whenever. what shall we all call ourselves now? "cunties"? yes! then let's run things up poles and salute them!

corporal slappypaddy, DSM, DSC, AD-LAB
wonkette cunt brigade, riffing battalion

slappypaddy October 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

okay, i've been thinking about this while i've been being paid to do other things, and the wonkette cunt brigade is going to need a latin motto, a nickname, and a battle cry. here are my suggestions (i take no pride of authorship (but remember me in your dreams)):

latin motto: "cuntus lingus"

nickname: "the insufferable fuckers"

battle cry: "buttsex! buttsex! buttsex!"

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 5:04 pm

The first is best, but wrong; the Latin word, and root, for cunt is cunnus; two ns, no t.

(And that's the first time in many years having had to take Latin in High School has proven useful).

slappypaddy October 15, 2010 at 5:34 pm

"cuntus" is derived from an obscure dialect known as "cat latin." it's related to "pig latin," but it's much more obscure. in fact, i just invented it.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Honestly, though, the guys over on Reason have never actually seen a cunt in real life so how would they know? From looking at hen tai?

chicken_thief October 15, 2010 at 9:14 pm

They have Brian Doherty's face…..

OkieDokieDog October 15, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Thank you Jebus! These young parents have their precious lil love child back home. I know in my heart that as soon as that de-vorce is final, that these two lovers will be married in the eyes of God. Then all you Nazi Socialist Mooslim gubmint baby snatchers can just kiss their gun totin' and child beatin' asses.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 2:17 pm

WTF? Doherty has abandoned the brave moral and intellectual clarity he demonstrated in his earlier posts, where he characterized the state's actions as "baby snatching" and that the couple suffered having "their baby stolen by government agents"? Where's his integrity? He continues on this subject as though he has been absolutely pure of purpose and did not screw up in any way by assuming that it's the parents, and not the children who are the real victims we should be worried about. Why isn't he continuing to use that rational, reasonable language to describe new developments? Where's the courage of his convictions that he was so eager to demonstrate a few days ago?

Seriously, why does Doherty still have a job at Reason? He damages what little credibility that outfit has left. Fucking douchebag. Goddammit he makes me sick.

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 12:09 am

I agree, they should take all the kids into care…then we can all be sure that our kids are looked after better. I was in care when I was 8. It never done me no harm. And it gave my folks time to go out and have fun, most parents don`t even get one night out. These parents should have taken advantage of the `time-out` and gone to a movie.

x111e7thst October 15, 2010 at 2:18 pm

"Haskell, Irish's mother and owner of the Saddleback Campground".

Saddlebacking: the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities.

Moral of the story kids, if you don't want CPS to take the baby away, stay at the Saddleback Campground.

HistoriCat October 15, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Must make reservations NOW…

freakishlywrong October 15, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Ugh. "Johnathon" He's one of those douches that goes by the full name. I bet in juvie, he was always saying; "It's Johnathon" or he would just ignore someone who called him John. Fucktard.

SmutBoffin October 15, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Yeah, I'm a 'Jonathan' but I go by 'Jon' to save people from wasting breath on all the extra syllables. But seriously, 'Johnathon'? WTF weird spelling dude.

FUN FACT: Sometimes people think I'm Jewish b/c they have never heard of a goy getting the 'Jonathan' treatment. Has anyone else ever heard of this?

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Is there a subtle difference in pronunciation twixt "Johnathon" and "Jonathon?" Just curious, in case it ever comes up in a social situation.

SmutBoffin October 15, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Depends on how much you emphasize the last bit. '-an' and '-on' sound similar enough that if you rush through it, no one will notice.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Jonathon's parents knew how to spell.

SheriffRoscoe October 15, 2010 at 2:19 pm

To all the wild, hysterical, conspiracy-obsessed trolls: babies menstruate.

Especially female ones.

P.S. Don't be skeered. That link is totes legit.

Geminisunmars October 15, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I did not know that.

SheriffRoscoe October 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Whew. Thanks for not asking how I knew it.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Also: babies lactate.

Even male ones.

YUM-O!

Rarian Rakista October 16, 2010 at 5:57 am

If you eat enough babies, you lactate too.

PsycWench October 15, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Yes, they do indeed. My daughter did so for a couple of days in her second week of life. She also demanded chocolate and called me a bitch the day before it started.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Two words: Pampers® tampons.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:28 pm

One more word: Tampers®.

(I'm gonna be rich, baby!)

nappyduggs October 15, 2010 at 2:40 pm

I…I didn't want to put my thumb up…up there, but you made me!

(sobs softly into glass of luncheon wine)

badseeds October 15, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Pamperons®.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 3:19 pm

That's French for "butterfly", right?

How very apropos — the darn little things do have wings!

imissopus October 15, 2010 at 2:34 pm

…deeply insightful comments threads on the propriety of contemptuous laughter as a response to a mother having her baby taken from her at birth.

At this point I'm just going to throw my hands in the air and tell Doherty okay, I give up, you're right, that's EXACTLY what we were laughing about. Keep sucking that baboon cock. Idiot.

Cicada October 15, 2010 at 6:26 pm

The fact that Stuef was mocking the very same crass politicization that Doherty is engaging in seems to be outside of Doherty's ability to comprehend. Or he could just be a cynical dickwad who chose to portray this case in the most inflammatory way possible in order to garner pageviews. Who knows?

Either way, fuck that guy.

nappyduggs October 15, 2010 at 2:36 pm

"I'm starting to wonder if this is the soft of banter…."

CHRIST. I wish these dime store revolutionaries would get "soft on banter." Why come is it that the soft of brain and soft of penis are always the ALL CAPS SCREEMERZ!!1!

HistoriCat October 15, 2010 at 3:33 pm

"soft of banter" is pure poetry – I'm sure I've read that in Shakespeare somewhere.

Guppy06 October 15, 2010 at 2:38 pm

"Johnathon Irish, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, then approached his father, standing inches from his face."

"And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death." (Exodus 21:15)

Boy, those Teabaggers will feel awfully embarrassed when they have to stone their hero.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 2:57 pm

I can't tell whether that quote sounds more like the opening to a gay porno or an episode of CSI: Miami.

Distinction without a difference, perhaps?

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 3:23 pm

The lead of most gay pornos might have at least some acting ability, unlike Mr. Caruso.

Extemporanus October 15, 2010 at 3:38 pm

"Looks like someone's been…

[removes pants]

…a very bad boy."

[BOM CHICKA YEEEEEAAHHHH!!!]

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Seems like Johnathon is fixin to add elder abuse to the child abuse currently on his record.

Don_Incognito October 15, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Two of the first things we learn as pediatricians:

–Female infants can menstruate in the first few weeks of life.

–Any baby named "Cheyenne" or "Neveah" has, at minimum, a 50% chance of becoming involved with Protective Services.

We also learn that Protective Services err on the side of parents a bit too much, a lesson that becomes crystal clear when a child comes into the ER dead on arrival after being raped to death by mommy's boyfriend, after being involved with CPS multiple times in the past. That might be a bit too dark for the Wonkette, but there you go.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 3:20 pm

No. Not too dark. Most of us are fully aware of the incentives for CPS to err on the side of the parents.

We're snarking on the outside and crying on the inside.

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Yeah, my mom used to work for CPS back in the 70s and early 80s before getting burnt out on the sheer depression of the job; a large part, she said, was how often she had to leave kids with families when they were clearly in danger, but didn't meet the threshold for foster care.

Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:39 pm

We're snarking on the outside and crying on the inside.

Always.

obfuscator2 October 15, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:41 pm

It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it. And we note that for your trouble, you were told to shut the fuck up. *sigh*

imissopus October 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm

I'm beginning to get the sense that the nuts over there do not like dissenting opinions.

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 5:29 pm

But remember, we're the ones who have a hive mind. Projection much?

OhNoGuy October 15, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Randy Paul got off the best one with – "Maybe when Cheyenne turns up dead, they can convince the jury that it was caused by the invisible hand of the free market?"

obfuscator2 October 15, 2010 at 5:53 pm

i'm kind of disappointed that there was only one request.

PsycWench October 16, 2010 at 11:14 am

"–Any baby named "Cheyenne" or "Neveah" has, at minimum, a 50% chance of becoming involved with Protective Services."

What are the chances if at least one parent has a misspelled tattoo?

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 12:16 am

they kind of are not educated, they probley skipped school….are Teabaggers americans? then again GW Bush wasn`t very bright lol

DCHatesMe October 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm

The baby has been fully fluoridated with communism, so now you can have your baby back. Thank you, come again!

fundamentallybroken October 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Off topic, but the guy in the comments section of the Concord claiming that the baby obviously has mercury poisoning from vaccines, then saying he has a "method" of removing mercury and curing autism – that guy has a special kind of crazy.

BaldarTFlagass October 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Probably uses his "magick wand."

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Sadly, no, that is today a very common kind of crazy; we can call it (Jenny) McCarthyism, or Huffingtonpost's disease.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

And let me guess — a website where he sells supplies for his "method" of curing autism.

Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Or to get a free Scientology personality test.

GOPCrusher October 15, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Actually, that's the standard line from those exposed to PrisonPlanet or Oathkeepers for extended periods of time.
They encourage their subscribers to not allow their children to be vaccinated, and if they are, to take Second Amendment remedies.

chickensmack October 15, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Which is the most rednecky place to exchange a kid?

1. McDonald's
2. K-Mart
3. Stuckey's

badseeds October 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Please. It's Riley's Gun Shop in Hooksett.

Cicada October 15, 2010 at 2:57 pm

If you don't do it at the Waffle House, you're just a librul elitist poser. And yes, I'll have mine smothered and covered.

badseeds October 15, 2010 at 3:29 pm

I don't think there's a Waffle House in NH. We do have a Cracker Barrel, though; so if you want to swap a porch rat AND patronize an Establishment known for its discriminatory employment practices. . .

HistoriCat October 15, 2010 at 3:35 pm

And enjoy some delicious country cooking at the same time.

teebob2000 October 15, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Truckstop.

Triscuits October 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm

Costco.

PsycWench October 16, 2010 at 10:53 am

The Wal Mart parking lot.

Cicada October 15, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I honestly can't think of a better standard bearer for the Tea Party than Johnathan Irish. Hoist him high upon your shoulders, True American Patriots®! He is the perfect representative for all you stand for.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Seriously. Already "on the disability" at age 24! Now that there is a teabaggin young gun super achiever.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:33 pm

What's his disability? Anencephaly?

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Could be. But since he doesn't know what that is or how to pronounce it (I had to look it up my own self), he tells everyone that he is blind in one eye. Since childhood. So he caint werk AT ALL. Spends his time and his gubmit money shootin guns, makin babies, and fightin the soshulist gubmit. Bein a patriot.

Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:46 pm

If he sees well enough to shoot guns, he can damn well flip burgers at the McDonalds. And with his impressive interpersonal skills, he could rise to Assistant Manager in no time.

GOPCrusher October 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Anhydrous ammonia burns?

Whatever October 15, 2010 at 5:37 pm

OUCH!!!

You. Made. Me. Look. Up. A. Word. On a Friday, interrupting drinking time.

Edumacation hurts…

ManchuCandidate October 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Raising Teabagger

obfuscator2 October 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm

what a bunch of vile fucking monsters. lionizing a couple of serial child abusers in a continuing effort to discredit anything and everything the government does. these are the same fucking hateful imbeciles who will the be screaming for the heads of irish and taylor while hate-fapping their justice boners to nancy grace in 7 months when the baby goes missing and is eventually found buried in a well.

badseeds October 15, 2010 at 3:30 pm

bam.

lumpenprole October 15, 2010 at 4:24 pm

I don't think that'll be the story. The baby was abducted by Big Government AGAIN the second the whole story blew over. Thugs in IRS commando uniforms came for her in their black helicopters. Knowing that no one would believe them, having been vilified by the lamestream media, Irish and Taylor had to flee. It was just like before the nazis, but more like the actual nazis this time. Only the sheeple will believe otherwise.

Ducksworthy October 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm

No you don't Stuef. I'm not going to the tReason<sup>tm</sup> magazine site. My conscience could not stand having that as part of my browsing history.

Pop_Socket October 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Someone please put a note on their calendar to follow up on this family in twelve years just to see how much time they are still serving for meth distribution.

JMPEsq October 15, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Or if the kid is still alive.

Rarian Rakista October 16, 2010 at 5:59 am

Or if the kid has reproduced and this is happening to the next generation.

gurukalehuru October 15, 2010 at 3:17 pm

I feel obliged to point out that I, too, believe that the events of September 11th, 2001, were coordinated by insiders (M.Bush, L. Silverstein, D. Cheney et alii), but I'm guessing that's about all I have in common with Mr. Anonymous T shirt guy. Well, that and the herb.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Oh, snap…his own father thinks he's a shitty parent and a danger to his kids. Thanksgiving is going to be awkward this year.

LibertyRock October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Face it, you liberal retards were f***ing wrong. They got the wrong Johnathan Irish, do I hear any retractions or apologies? Of course not. Here is the thing, you guys claim to "feel" and "care" about people who are downtrodden, but anybody who disagrees with, well watch out because they aren't even human. I have sat back and watched this chuckling to myself, you guys really look stupid trying to cover the big mistake you a**holes harped on and about. You just can't deny your wrong. Ever. I see you all for the damn phonies you are, if your so caring you would've been outraged that a woman who just had a baby had it snatched from her, the most emotionally fragile time for any new mother. Come to find out, it was another John Irish who abused his kids. Just because this guy was in Oath Keepers you all automatically assumed (shall we say stereotyped which liberals are supposed to hate) he was a wife and child beater. So good head and roll in your self righteous, hypocritical, holier than thou s**t pit. I'll be sitting here and laughing. Go ahead and use your little cute "teabagger" insult which makes me laugh anyways, because the teabaggers are just as big of dupes, dopes, and hypocrites as you all are. Suck it up you bastards and I will savor the flavor, you stuck your foot your mouths and I like that your trying to run in circles with the same old allegations and falsehoods that have been proven wrong. LOL! You people are pathetic.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:27 pm

I just risked cooties and looked at the blog posting on Reason. The comment section is surprisingly free of any mention of Trucknutz. Just sayin.

Trinket October 15, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Well, I think we can fix that, can't we, Wonketeers?

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Oh, the tide appears to be turning over there. Still no trucknutz, though.

Sheesko October 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm

You think I'm turning my fakey-fake Yahoo e-mail addy over to those crazies? No way, José. They say it won't be published with your comment, but that's only because they're out on the Interstate selling it to dudes with gun racks on their 4x4s and real itchy trigger fingers.

johnnyzhivago October 15, 2010 at 3:28 pm

The government steals babies and gives them to Aliens for experimentation every day. How else can you explain the Palin family?

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Actually, I explain the Palin family as an example of what happens when pregnant women eat nothing but Taco Bell.

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 12:21 am

they kind of are not educated, they probley skipped school….are Teabaggers americans? then again GW Bush wasn`t very bright lol

Gopherit October 15, 2010 at 3:29 pm

It's not like this poor kid didn't have enough strikes against it sharing genetic material from a pair who are Maury Povich's wet dream. Now she is being sent home to be "raised" by these idiot. I say we start a pool……how long before father of the year abuses this one, too?

finallyhappy October 15, 2010 at 5:44 pm

If we could follow the story- I bet this kid is removed by the time she is 6 months

Terry October 16, 2010 at 7:51 am

I wonder how many kids Doherty and his acolytes have fostered?

Future Expatriate October 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Shouldn't be too hard to keep tabs on 'Johnathan' Irish. Huzzah for semi-literacy/poor spelling.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 3:48 pm

I think his whole audience is that circle jerk over on Reason.

chascates October 15, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Meanwhile, the couple will begin raising their daughter. They sat in McDonald’s eating burgers and fries…

Yep, that's how you raise a kid in America.

slappypaddy October 15, 2010 at 4:44 pm

gonna raise her to 400 pounds, by and by.

Terry October 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Better even, you sit you lazy butt at McDonalds and make your mother go to the police station to pick up the child tearfully torn from your arms.

mercianomad October 15, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Americonservatives: Happy to have the government take a loving parent from his/her kid for getting high from a weed, totally pissed off if the government takes a kid from its utterly unloving and abusive Jerry Springer-style parent.

HurricaneAli October 15, 2010 at 4:33 pm

"…fit hit the shan" – that's pretty clever, I'll have to remember that one!

CessnaDriver October 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Baby's snatch?????

Think about it……….

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 5:08 pm

'cuz butthurt at gubmit = important

actual chirren = not important (except for the extra gubmit income from welfare)

glamourdammerung October 15, 2010 at 7:02 pm

But their claims of the state spending lots of time and money to frame a nobody for no particular gain makes no logical sense.

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Oh. I get what you're saying. Yeah, I can't help you figure out that one. You're right, it makes no sense. I guess I expect nonsense from people who are so paranoid that their government is planning to take all their guns and put them in concentration camps (or whatever the hell they skeert about). *shrug*

finallyhappy October 15, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Possibly also where the child is read to, given a crib/bed to sleep in and taken outside instead of being given a bottle of soda and propped in front of the tv all day and night- in between being screamed at and slapped

Triscuits October 15, 2010 at 6:54 pm

The kid might also end up in a family with two consenting adults who actually love each other, despite the often-extraordinary pressures that have been put on their relationship. And they might grow up learning to respect other people's differences, and to think for themselves! We can't have that, not at all.

(In all fairness, though, I would be a horrible parent. I'd never beat my child, but I just wouldn't have any idea what to *do* with the thing.)

June_Cleaver2.0 October 15, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Teabaggers working hard to shake the Nazi stink, but calling others Nazis won't get them away from their cultural heritage. When I look at 1950s and 60s TV footage of the Civil Rights movements, I see the prototype teabagger out in the streets terrorizing the monority of the times.

SimonGirty October 16, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Prototypical AMERICAN teabagger: http://gnadenhutten.tripod.com/ or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paxton_Boys The cool thing is to look at the participants' reasoning and the writings of their betters… For the international version, watch any of the Monty Python's plethora of witch-burning skits or just go rent 'The Devils'

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 12:23 am

hey right on, John Lennon was a tea-bagger

mrblifil October 15, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Blood seepage from the baby snatch? Could have just been a visit from Aunt Flo.

Rarian Rakista October 16, 2010 at 5:59 am

That actually happens.

McSnark October 16, 2010 at 11:56 am

He is a suspect in the beating of a three year old. Did I read that part right?

kdl22 October 18, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Wait, I thought conservatives were all "tough on crime" and stuff. Or is that only when the perps are not white and/or teabaggers?

Kitty_Sanchez October 15, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Actually, (in all seriousness) McDonald's has much higher standards than that.

However, perhaps Irish could find employment with Brian Doherty, who is eager to use his "very serious" Reason Magazine bona fides to defend him.

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