• May 27, 2012

Carl Paladino’s Advisor Was Licked At That Gay Pride Parade

by Jack Stuef  2:13 pm October 14, 2010

Oh c'mon.No matter how much he tries to escape it, Carl Paladino’s life is full of the gay he hates so much. That whole New York gay pride parade he thought was so disgusting? Yeah, one of his “key advisors,” Roger Stone, was at that thing. So was Roger Stone’s shirtless body and that of a “fitness model,” “Kat ForTra.” And so was Kat ForTra’s tongue, which licked Stone’s ear, and Stone’s tongue, which licked her boob. Stone is apparently notorious for his “Nixonian dirty tricks,” which is apparently not a euphemism, even though he was forced to quit Bob Dole’s presidential campaign after it was revealed he was a swinger. So, you know, good guy to have around when you’re trying to talk about your “family values,” Paladino (who, in another revelation, sent out a lot more porn e-mails than had previously been released).

Meanwhile, the Web site that first revealed Paladino had forwarded several racially charged and sexually suggestive e-mails disclosed more X-rated pictures and movies supposedly sent out last year by the Buffalo builder.

The e-mails, posted by wnymedia.net, feature women in various sexual situations, including one showing a woman performing oral sex on another.

At least two e-mails bear the same commentary attributed to Paladino: “Awesome.”

“This is just an attempt to breathe life once again into their dying, unprofitable Web site by maligning a Buffalo community leader,” Caputo said. “None of this is new; none of it is relevant.”

Yes, none of this is relevant to Paladino’s joke of a campaign for one of the highest offices in the nation. The only thing that’s relevant is that duck furry. [NYP]

{ 78 comments }

Lucidamente1 October 14, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Best quote ever from NYPost article: "The Hasidic Brooklyn rabbi who hosted Paladino as he made the remarks withdrew his support for him in the wake of the candidate's apology to gays on Tuesday. Rabbi Yehuda Levin said Paladino was 'receiving pressure' from his family — which includes a gay nephew — to soften his stance."

Pressure always makes me soften my stance.

widestanceroman October 14, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Mine generally widens under gay pressure.

undeterredbyreality October 14, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Speaking of licking balls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IONyLZn0pLI
and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L_-xopPMIA

Rebbe Levin and John Turturro: separated at birth? Also.

Clancy_Pants October 14, 2010 at 2:52 pm

What do you s'pose his masturbation stance is?

indecencycmdr October 14, 2010 at 3:48 pm

I enjoyed "strategically placed rainbow-colored stars on the sparkle-covered mammaries"

chicken_thief October 14, 2010 at 8:23 pm

The reporter did do his due diligence, did he not?

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Laughing very hard now.

Schmannnity October 14, 2010 at 2:18 pm

I'll take you out . . . with my tongue.

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Nice tits…and the chick's aren't bad, either.

CessnaDriver October 14, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Considering that it's a Gay Pride event, don't assume it's a genetic woman.

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2010 at 2:24 pm

I was wondering the same thing…also…are those breasts even possible?

(I was going to ask if those boobs were even possible – but then I realized where that would go.)

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Here's a semi-NSFW super sexxxy sample of fitness model Kat ForTra's portfolio.

The verdict? I think we might have a hung jury…

EDIT: Actually, she really is a she — I just fapped to her pictures and came really quickly. I totally could not have done that if she were a he because I'm seriously not gay you guys, sheesh!

4TheTurnstiles October 14, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Sure, I'll go there:

Not only possible but brought to you by Goodyear!

PhilippePetain October 14, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Considering those shoulders/ribs, I'd give 9:1 odds on the above assumption being true.

nappyduggs October 14, 2010 at 3:07 pm

I dunno. If we're talking about this broad and "t-shots", I don't think we'd be referring to sencha in a thimble.

PsycWench October 14, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Takes a licking and keeps on dicking.

PsycWench October 14, 2010 at 2:19 pm

HETEROSEXUAL porn email? Are you sure you got that right?

And has no one learned that people who send racist email get called on it? "It didn't strike me as racist…I thought it was funny…I'm sorry if anyone was offended" in 3…2..

kenlayisalive October 14, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Hey, a male horse fucking a female human is totally heterosexual and totally a valid, successful life choice (for the horse).

kenlayisalive October 14, 2010 at 2:20 pm

“This is just an attempt to breathe life once again into their dying, unprofitable Web site"

Isn't that Ben Quayle's job?

the_problem_child October 14, 2010 at 2:21 pm

The duck furry? Actually a dick cozy.

ttommyunger October 14, 2010 at 2:22 pm

In the inimitable words of closeted goober-smooching Crooner/Marine Jim Nabors: SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

elviouslyqueer October 14, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Oh please, closeted? Hell, dead people knew that Jim Nabors was gayer than Lady Gaga's shoe collection, Madonna's bra drawer, and Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup counter combined.

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 2:56 pm
elviouslyqueer October 14, 2010 at 3:06 pm

That's what he said.

BerkeleyBear October 14, 2010 at 3:58 pm

It would have killed a whole generation of proto-teabaggers to find out their favorite son liked to ride the pink pony. Seriously, dude was like Liberace to redneck car racing fans in Indiana for his rendition of "Back Home in Indiana" at the 500.

And yes, the comparison to Liberace is intentional – "committed bachelor" and "he's good to his mother" being the typical delusional statements about both.

gvvt October 14, 2010 at 5:57 pm

"I pray he wasn't really gay"
"He isn't , actually the rumor that he was gay horrified him…"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAB41b3gNU0

ttommyunger October 27, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Just goes to show you how much out of the loop I am. I was gobsmacked when my wife told me about Gomer being a goober-smoocher.

Preferred Customer October 14, 2010 at 2:23 pm

"Buffalo builder?" Is that some sort of euphemism I am not familiar with?

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2010 at 3:34 pm

It's the new "Hot Carl"

DoktorZoom October 14, 2010 at 4:20 pm

It's like Hamburger Helper, only with anus burger.

BornInATrailer October 14, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I believe that is Bob the Builder's somewhat "sweeter" brother.

axmxz October 14, 2010 at 5:15 pm

It's like a Cleveland Steamer, only you build a 'sandcastle' out of it afterward.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 14, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Oh it gets better. He was a landlord to two gay bars and his son ran one.
Small world Carl.
http://www.alan.com/2010/10/13/carl-paladino-was-...

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 2:45 pm

We double-teamed him, pardner!

MiniMencken October 14, 2010 at 4:11 pm

The photo is obviously a fake. The caption says Buddies II is a "bear/leather bar" and I do not see one person on that float that qualifies as either a "bear" or as a leather queen.

Buzz Feedback October 14, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Roger Stone will comment on this story as soon as he finishes his smart cocktail.

JMPEsq October 14, 2010 at 2:26 pm

How could a swinger like Roger Stone be a Republican; being honest with the wife over fucking outside of the marriage takes all the fun of it.

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Why hasn't the fact that Hot Carl was literally a gay bar cumlord gotten greater national play?

I blame the Jews…

jus_wonderin October 14, 2010 at 2:55 pm

I love those bar names, Cobalt and Buddies II.

"It was called Cobalt in 2004 and much of 2005, catering exclusively to gay clientele, holding drag queen nights and featuring "boy-tenders" behind the bar."

What are boy-tenders? And do they taste like chicken-tenders??

Extemporanus October 14, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Boy-tenders are into barbacking.

chicken_thief October 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm

The sauce is totally different. I hope…

baberainbow47 October 20, 2010 at 1:11 am

Anti-Semitic that comment was dumb! Another Jew basher.

CapnFatback October 14, 2010 at 2:30 pm

The e-mails, posted by wnymedia.net, feature women in various sexual situations, including one showing a woman performing oral sex on another.

At least two e-mails bear the same commentary attributed to Paladino: “Awesome.”

I'm beginning to have my suspicions that Carl Paladino was one of the kids who hid behind the car wash across the street from my high school and smoked before classes each morning.

x111e7thst October 14, 2010 at 2:38 pm

More like the kids who hid behind the car wash and took turns kicking each other in the "nads".

DoktorZoom October 14, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I would totally vote for Johnny Knoxville.

PsycWench October 14, 2010 at 2:41 pm

I think he works on the side for our building contractor.

Lucidamente1 October 14, 2010 at 2:34 pm

A game of "hide the salami" gone bad.

gurukalehuru October 14, 2010 at 2:34 pm

From the description of the e-mails in the above post, I've got to go with Dirty Carl on this one. Awesome!

Mindblank October 14, 2010 at 2:39 pm

When not marching in parades, Kat promotes physical fitness through an "orgasmic lifestyle," according to her blog and a Web site hawking her workout videos.

Orgasmic lifestyle. Oh, yeah, baby! She should write for Wonkette, obvs.

nappyduggs October 14, 2010 at 3:11 pm

OOOOO, Orgasmi is great! Can she make the little swans and things?

GOPCrusher October 14, 2010 at 2:40 pm

And the Republiklans/Tea Baggers haven't figured out yet, that it's not the act, it's the hypocrisy.

chickensmack October 14, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Looks like this Roger Stone was suckling on a horse, too.

weejee October 14, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Roger has one of the worst comb-overs ever. He does, take yer eyes off her boobies you libtard preverts.

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2010 at 2:45 pm

That Roger Stone is equally notorious as a real bastard and a real fun guy. Here's a pretty good article that sums up his life's work and persona:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/06/02/080...

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Roger Stone looks like Soupy Sales.

Jerri October 14, 2010 at 4:42 pm

See now I think he looks just like the Heaven's Gate guy in those pictures.

NorthStarSpanx October 14, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I feel terribly for that tranny, having had to defile him/herself by licking Henry Gibson on roids.

prommie October 14, 2010 at 2:54 pm

I feel slimey all over now.

nappyduggs October 14, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Ride it out; slip between some satin bed linens and make this the first day of your new "orgasmic lifestyle."

LionelHutzEsq October 14, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Actually, the Plandino campaign is right: Is there any more of a "Dog bites Man" story than "Republican Campaigns on Hatred of Gays while Totally Involved in Gay Culture"? Next, am I supposed to be shock that Sarah Palin says something vapid or Glenn Beck says something bat-shit crazy from the John Birch Society?

MISTAHCOUGHDROP October 14, 2010 at 3:05 pm

It's obvious to anyone who reads Paul Krugman and takes notes during Bill Kristol's Fox Sunday News roundtables that Palamino is as gay as a 3 1/2 dollar bill. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Really folks, Carl is just a bit confused. Get him to the Minneapolis airport toute de suite and then we'll have a rocking NY Goobernatorial election par excellence.

american__mutt October 14, 2010 at 3:20 pm

I need more breasts in my life.

DashboardBuddha October 14, 2010 at 3:32 pm

"Frankly, I think Mr. Stone is missing a few pebbles," Levin said.

He may be missing pebbles…but the dude got stones.

Wadisay October 14, 2010 at 3:41 pm

I am confident there is a "no tit for Kat" gag in here somewhere, and I will have if for you all in 48 hours or so.

iburl October 14, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Why do anti-gay zealots always have the most gayest connections? I have gay friends, I live in arguably the gayest city in Texas and I don't own two gay clubs, my son doesn't run one of the clubs, I don't send gay porn out to folks and I don't think that any of my closest friends would ever appear in public shirtless and licking a random chick at a gay pride event. When I first heard about Paladinos gay hatred I figured, well he's just a hateful guy, but it's becoming clearer and clearer that he is the Queen of New York. Jesus.

chicken_thief October 14, 2010 at 8:13 pm

But he doesn't resort to the using the mile wide stance when fake loaf-pinching in public restrooms. So he's like, better than those other closet pecker puffers by several magnitudes. In his mind, at least….

PuckStopsHere October 14, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I can't decide which I hate more: Carl Paladino or those other cocksuckers from the Empire State, the New York Yankees.

Why does life have to be so HARD?

lochnessmonster October 14, 2010 at 5:48 pm

I guess they don't know how a normal person lives after all. It's like these idiots never heard of a camera or the internets with the yoo-tubes and all. They must think they're above all the reporting at their pay grade. This is especially disturbing because they all use the crackberries to send the same sort of things they are guilty of.

tater_tot October 14, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Sounds like they are saying this is Just A Day In The Life Of A Buffalo "community leader". But did he take his kids to see this or not?

Troglodeity October 14, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I click on the boob picture hoping to enlarge (it), and it sends me right back here? Now THAT's disgusting.

chicken_thief October 14, 2010 at 8:07 pm

"Stone showed no such hang-ups when he marched shirtless in the parade on behalf of his other advisee in the governor's race — self-described "Manhattan Madam" Kristin Davis, whose protest platform includes legalization of gay marriage, gambling, prostitution and marijuana."

Wow, I wasn't aware that Ms. Davis started a new business. She musta fallen on hard times after Sex in the City went off the air. And Charlotte was my favorite character….

chicken_thief October 14, 2010 at 8:14 pm

That's his "this shit happens to me every where I go, every fucking day" look….

PresBeeblebrox October 15, 2010 at 12:22 am

Roger Stone loves dirty trix so much, he has an image of the king of dirty trix inked on his body.

bobbobbob3 October 15, 2010 at 1:16 am

Concerning Carl Paladino and his anti-gay stance. I found a former worker of the bar posted on TelOnU.com (a site where people can post reviews on companies, people and politians) the following:

"I used to work at Cobalt in Buffalo, and gay bar run by his son William Paladino and he had no problem with gay men grinding up against each other when he visited the bar twice while I worked there. He usually came in to talk to Will, but he would walk around the club with him and talk about the business."
http://www.telonu.com/reviews/carl-paladino?nt=33...

I think this says it all, this guy is two faced, and will say anything to get elected.

kittylittr October 15, 2010 at 10:26 am

Carl Paladino can still win back the Hasidic vote. All he has to do is volunteer to have a bris. Rabbi Levin would be happy to officiate.

thefrontpage October 15, 2010 at 10:54 am

Does anyone have that girl in the body paint's phone number? I'd like to ask her out. Thanks!

winterboots October 17, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Very powerful, very exciting !http://www.typier.com

Insidedown October 18, 2010 at 2:48 am

Roger Stone is a gay sex addict. Also dabbles in crystal meth.

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