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He probably had a quail hidden in him. He was just hiding it from the UN inspectors!Considering Dick Cheney no longer has a pulse, one would think he would want to reflect back on his life and try to right any wrongs. Except this is Dick Cheney we’re talking about, a man who has never done anything wrong. It turns out Harry Whittington is a very genial, spry old man who would never say anything bad about Dick Cheney, who wasn’t even his friend and who CARELESSLY SHOT HIM, WITH A GUN. But for the rest of his life, Harry Whittington will have birdshot embedded in his face and around his heart, a constant reminder of Dick Cheney’s love of shooting deadly weapons preemptively without looking hard at the evidence around him. And Dick Cheney still hasn’t told him he’s sorry.

Here’s your basic Iraq allegory:

This violates two basic rules of hunting safety, says Ralph Stuart, the editor of Shooting Sportsman, a hunting magazine. The first is the shooter’s obligation to ensure that he has a clear line of fire before pulling the trigger. The second is the “blue-sky rule,” meaning that a hunter shouldn’t fire until he can see blue sky beneath a bird, thus greatly reducing the chances of hitting another hunter or dog. “Quail often fly low and demand lower shots,” Stuart points out, but that makes it “doubly important” that the shooter is aware of what’s between him and the bird and just beyond.

Cheney nearly hit Whittington’s carotid artery, which would have killed his new acquaintance.

But that’s okay, Cheney was so nice he let his own team of doctors (who are still eligible to be tried for war crimes, we presume) give advice to Whittington’s doctors! That basically makes up for things, right?

But did Cheney ever say in private what he didn’t say in public? Did he ever apologize?

Whittington, who has been talking about his life and career for hours, suddenly draws silent.

“I’m not going to go into that,” he says sharply after a short pause.


Harry Whittington is too gracious to say it out loud, but he doesn’t dispute the notion, either.

Nearly five years on, he’s still waiting for Dick Cheney to say he’s sorry.

Aren’t we all, sir? Aren’t we all. [WP]

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