TeeVee’s Pat Sajak Has Repealed Voting Rights For Government Workers

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Handsomepants!Known alphabet fetishist Pat Sajak has in the past occasionally pooped out his conservative beliefs on the Internets. But did you know that he is now a Certified Blogger for the National Review Online? It is true! Or it was true once, yesterday. Let us see what this helmet-haired genius talks about when he talks about politics.

None of my family and friends is allowed to appear on Wheel of Fortune. Same goes for my kids’ teachers or the guys who rotate my tires. If there’s not a real conflict of interest, there is, at least, the appearance of one.

Oh my God, yes! He opens with Wheel of Fortune! You take that elephant in the living room and you shoot him, Patrick, right between the eyes. No pretensions here. You own what you are, dammit! All your cards (or hanging letter things) are on the table, and you’re playing to win!

In nearly all private and public endeavors, there are occasions in which it’s only fair and correct that a person or group be barred from participating because that party could directly and unevenly benefit from decisions made and policies adopted. So should state workers be able to vote in state elections on matters that would benefit them directly? The same question goes for federal workers in federal elections.

What Sajak means, apparently, is that government workers should not be allowed to vote, because they are on welfare. Specifically, this obviously means no voting for the worst people in the world, in Pat Sajak’s eyes: the government workers known as America’s Military, who are very terrible people who like to vote and fight wars or whatever. Why does Pat Sajak hate the troops?

Of course Sajak does not specifically say The Troops cannot vote now, because his entire dumb blog post is shorter than the blog post we’re writing about his blog post, but he does suggest that federal employees (The Troops) cannot vote anymore, because they have a stake in politics somehow! In conclusion, only Pat Sajak can vote, but not about anything to do with Pat Sajak such as teevee or money or National Review or whether to kill Vanna White with a government bomb. [The Corner]

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Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, writer and radio talk show host. Her outspoken, sexually-charged comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her memoir, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," (William Morrow/HarperCollins), was based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. She is currently working on a novel for young adults.

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