Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he’s no homophobe. That’s funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work at the Paladino campaign. This is according to the New York Post, which also wants you to know Hannon is “hunky” and “6-foot-2,” based on what they’ve seen “on his MySpace” (HisSpace?), a primitive “social networking” website made for people who work at the Post and other Rupert Murdoch properties. So now who will run Paladino’s furry outreach operation?
In a brief phone interview yesterday, Hannon, in his first public remarks on the incident, told The Post, “Obviously, I’m very offended by his comments.”
Hannon said he had no further comments “right now,” before hanging up.
As Paladino said, his nephew “suffers every day with discriminatory people.” So Paladino must be an especially bad discriminator, to make his nephew hate him so much.
But the more pressing issue is whether or not Hannon was the staffer who wore this furry duck suit for his uncle:
The Paladino duck furry has not been seen in a furry-pride parade since Saturday, for what it’s worth.
Surely Paladino will be able to survive this latest controversy. His candidacy is really, really strong. [NYP/Facebook via Wonkette operative "Shawn S."]
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"Jeff Hannon": that must be a typo for "Jeff Gannon"
Beat you by a minute!
Known gay republicans:
Jeff Hannon
Jeff Gannon
Watch out, Jeff Fannon!
The Paladino Duck looks like a bad ripoff of the University of Oregon Duck, which was Disney's Duck. Does that make Paladino pro-Disney and pro-Hollywood?!? (Go Ducks.)
No, it makes him pro-ripoff.
Somehow, "duck" and "politician" go together, they're related … just can't think of it right now, so lame.
A shoe in hand is worth two at the bush?
Ha! But no.
It's an Implied duck, and a dubious politician.
"If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck but is hung like a horse it must be Jeff Gannon" Is that what you were thinking of?
They DUCK the issues!
because duck rhymes with fuck and all politicians are sleazy fucks, duh
That "Sex with Ducks" video from last year was not a coincidence, I see.
"My duck's a homosexual, and I love him…I LOVE MY DEAD GAY DUCK!"
You are not alone. http://www.nmr.nl/nmr/binary/retrieveFile?instanc...
Science!
"Queer Rat Deserts Sinking Ship"?
[Yes, yes, I know. Asshole. Got it.]
At the risk of incurring Anderson Cooper's wrath, Rupert Murdoch calling Jeff Hannon "hunky" is kind of, well, gay.
Since Anderson's gay, that's perfectly in character for him.
In Upstate, don't ducks that large usually get shot on sight?
The "some of my best friends are gay" defense is about as subtle as a Drudge siren.
And it was really big of Carl to reveal he's related to a homosexual. Contagion is one thing, but relatives? That means teh ghey is hereditary.
Psst … Don't tell Sen. Inbred (R-Exxon).
Reagan, Gingrich, Giuliani, Keyes, Paladino; there does seem to be an unusual number of Republicans who leave behind family members who hate them, for being douches.
"I'd still be for him despite the fact that he's an ignorant, vile sack of pus but now I can't because I'm a fudgepacker and I just noticed that he's awful." Fuck you, Jeff.
Candidates have animal mascots now? How much lower can this this country sink?
What they're not reporting is that at the end of the duck ride Palidino strung his nephew up like a pinata and beat the gay right outta him.
"Candidates have animal mascots now? How much lower can this this country sink?"
Not sink. Sunk. This year we'd be better off voting for the animal mascots in most cases.
More importantly, why does Paladino need two animal mascots, the duck and the fucking horse?
What the Duck? Is it because Rethugs are considered duck-stepping fascists?
A gay would not wear a duck suit under a t-shirt. 'Assless' chaps or a simple boa would be the way to go.
The duck isn't wearing pants, so it's sort of disgusting.
I bet the pants went missing when the duck's hands got all filthy.
As a scientist, I have to point out that the term 'assless chaps' is misleading and redundant. If you were wearing 'assed' chaps, they would just be leather pants.
If there's one thing I've learned in all my years of avoiding a real job, it's that people looooooove being corrected. Also, I know there's a joke somewhere in 'assed chaps' but I just can't find it.
Being corrected really chaps my ass.
What's with these Buffalo guys – Fruhlinger, CrankTango and now this Hannon? I thought all they had there was chicken wings and a mediocre footfall team. Sounds like a swinging place!
Oh! To be mediocre!
I think, Charles, you've spent too much time with association football (or is it footfall?)! The Bills last saw medicrity in 2001…
Our football team aspires to someday be mediocre.
Well they haven't always been mediocre; why I remember when I was in high school, the Bills made it to the Superbowl every single year.
Sure, they lost each time, but hey it's an honor just to be nominated.
Speaking of Gay, they haven't really been The BILLS since Jack Kemp was pitching balls for them. Oh, and Cookie Gilchrist up the middle for 6, setting up a bomb to Elbert "Golden Wheels" Dobinion. Good Times! Tom day and Rolin' Ron McDole at DE
An unsuspected hotbed of Wonketteers too. Go Sabres (or whatever)!
Here in liberal Montgomery County, we have a serious homophobe(in our fight for decent sex ed in our schools– which we do not have!) who said her gay cousin was okay because he was born gay unlike the rest of the gheys who choose their gay lifestyle. He was that one in a billion born gay. uh, huh.
We had very effective sex ed in Prince Georges County (MD) schools in the 70's. After the sex ed part of our health class in 6th grade, I came away thinking that evidently sex was really boring but could give you a bad disease or a baby you probably can't care for.
Imagine a well intentioned female teacher with a teased up and sprayed "football helmet" style hair do talking to a room of 11 yr old girls and demonstrating the difference in the look of a flaccid and erect penis using her finger. The horror of that scene haunts me to this day.
Jr. year high school biology included the section on human reproduction. On the test you had to draw the system and lable the parts. Someone always drew the guy erect even though every picture we had seen was flaccid. Frickin' awesome.
My 7th grade Home Ec. teacher was in charge of my first real sex ed. class. She was an oversharing grandma who went way off curriculum in her teaching. She gifted us wisdom such as, "If he sticks anything in your ass, he has to wash it before it goes in your mouth or vagina." She also droned on and on about how great sex was. In the Bible Belt, that woman would've been burned at the stake.
That duck musta been smoking some good ganga. I get resin on my lips like that when I'm toking a fattie, too.
Duck…
Goose!
Nooo!
GHEYS!!
(But thanks for playing anyway, you guys!)
Kinky.
Forget Carl and his nephew. That creepy guy driving the car totes looks like an albino movie villain.
The nephew is pretty cute…
Holy shit…duck furries? Sex with Ducks?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8
Oh, sure. Yeah, right, he's your "nephew". Uh hunh. Yeah. Got it.
That way it's not incest, silly.
I get it. Jeff Hannon is ducking his uncle:
Shut your ducking face, uncle ducker
You're a boner biting bastard, uncle ducker
You're an uncle ducker, I must say
Well you ducked your uncle yesterday.
Uncle Ducker, that's U-N-C-L-E D-U-C-K-E-R
Uncle Duckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Hannon: Mom, I don't want to work for Uncle Carl.
Mom: Jeff, you're 23 years old. Your student loans are due. What did you get your degree in again?
Hannon: Primitive cultures.
Mom: You and Uncle Carl will get along great.
Clearly the duck is off making the latest video for Palandino to send to his friends.
What do you expect Carl to do with his gay nephew? Have him walk about the street like everyone else?
Addendum: It would have been an easy matter to assign another staffer to "Giant Yellow Scary Duck" duty, but they all complained that Carl's nephew ruined the costume by "getting gay all over it."
And seriously, those costumes are really difficult to clean, unless, of course it has the "dry hump only" label in it.
What do I expect Carl to do with his nephew? Nothing, now that he's 23. Ages 8 – 14…..different story.
That's Howard the Ducks baby picture. Do the voters know that the gay Paladino duck is an illegal alien?
How Weird!
Don't be fucking with the Howard. He never asked to come to this ass-backward planet.
But he did have regular sex with a human woman. Hm, now I'm starting to see the appeal to Paladino…
OT, but I worked hard on my "Uncle Ducker" comment/song lyric. Why won't it post? Am I being Spam Hammered? Is teh Wonkette now moderating comments? Why? Speak to me, Wonkette!
Was it based on South Park/Terence & Philip?
Please say it was.
Most definitely.
Yes, indeed. Had any of my uncles run for governor, I would have moved to a state far, far away.
The Paladino candidacy is so dead now. Cue the coronation march for Emperor Cuomo.
Yum.
So GHannon was chopping ghey logs for Unka Carl's log cabin…until Unka Carl shined the bright, bright, so bright limelight, on Nephew Jeff.
THE ONLY WAY TO PREDICT THE FUTURE IS TO FELLATE IT.
My mood? rejuvenated
Run, Young Riley!!! Cover ur butthole!!!
That photograph from the parade is good, but the music video is better.
Carl, you shot an arrow straight through my heart.
NEEDZ MOAR PUNISHING DILDO MALLET!!
I call shenanigans. Since when are there attractive people in Buffalo, NY, let alone "Hunky" ones?
I wish Republicans would stop tarnishing the image of furries.
The Republicans just keep racking up those high profile celebrity endorsements, don't they? Kelsey Grammer. Victoria Jackson. And now, Howard the Duck.
If only Democrats knew their opponents secret to success!
Self-loathing naive gay man realizes shithead uncle is self-loathing homophobic straight man. Well, Mr. Hannon, c'mon down! The Log Cabin can make room for one more.
Carl Paladino's campaign mascot is a pantsless duck.
History's most famous pantsless duck? Donald Duck.
Donald Duck, confirmed "bachelor," was often seen in the company of his "nephews."
Carl Paladino's "nephew" leaves the campaign in an angry huff after mean comments.
Obviously, Carl/ Donald is fucking Jeff/ Huey/ Dewey and Louie.
WHERE ARE THE DRUDGE SIRENS!!1!
i have an uncle like this.
thank god he's too opposed to government to ever run for it.
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