What is America’s favorite alcoholic, chain-smokin’ orange mutant mumbling about this time? New spending cuts every week, forever! That is his Pledge to America. Also: “Gitmo stays open until the ocean eventually gobbles up Cuba.” When this happens it will be renamed “Gitmo Underwater.”
Should they take control of the House in the midterm elections, House Republicans would propose a spending cut every week, their leader said Monday.
According to the Palm Beach Post, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) told an audience at an event for South Florida GOP congressional candidate Allen West that if they win a majority, “you’ll see us every single week move bills that will cut spending.”
Boehner’s comments indicate that House Republicans intend to make good on a central part of the “Pledge to America” governing document they rolled out last month.
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Who farted? Oh, it's just Ooomah-Loompah Boy again.
Do you think Gitmo Atlantis will be all-inclusive? For my money, choosing an all-inclusive resort is the key to a restful vacation.
[Ed. note] obvious pun about "moving bills every week" omitted. Leave it alone. It's not worth it.
But yet he still won't say what he'll propose cutting now; it's almost as if he realizes that, while spending cuts in the abstract are theoretically popular, most government programs are actually useful and popular, and this is all political grandstanding.
political grandstanding: i.e. – bullshit.
Cut wasteful programs that benefit lying Africans. Keep your government hands off my Medicare..
Having just hit 62 I can't believe I"m saying this, but I hope the Teabaggers caucus by themselves and decided, fuck yeah. We won. And they follow up on one of their favorite ideas, "phasing out" social security. Just to watch Boner and Turtle scramble to stop that one. The Koch brothers, et. al, don't care so the few Republics who have a semblance of sanity are one their own.
You know what? Screw Turtle. I hope DeMint replaces him.
I propose that after the election, every week someone punch John Boner is his orange nuts.
Why wait?
Could it be classified as a campaign contribution? We could get someone (who would be a good face for the organization? Henry Rollins, perhaps?) to collect them anonymously and deliver them all at once.
Personally, I thought that was why he was orange to begin with.
I'm more of a throat-punching kind of guy. So if you need any help in that department, I'm your man.
Sign me up. I'm not very tall so it will pretty much a straight shot for me.
I'll agree to this only if the first cuts are oil company subsidies, timber company subsidies and the overseas wars.
Can we add farm subsidies and subsidized livestock grazing and mining on federal lands?
Spending cut of the week? Eh, I think Boehner would be doing a greater service by providing members with a Word of the Day desk calendar.
No need for a desk calendar when you make up your own.
And by weekly "cuts in spending" he means of course weekly cuts in billionaire's tax spending. After all, if God didn't want them to have all the money, He wouldn't have given them billions of dollars. Amen.
Lets start with all pork for Ohio.
Au contraire. Pork for Alaska, with Begich becoming god of the grizzly in his valiant attempt to block Miller from choking the life out of that godforsaken frozen wasteland.
If only. Besides that, pork is Alaska. Better just to sell off the entire state to, say, Canada. We get the residuals, and the Palins get to live under a constitutional monarchy. With socialized medicine, also, so wins all around.
We should check if we kept the receipt, and then we could give it back to the Russians.
I propose their first spending cut to be a reduction in their salaries. It's a good, strong, conservative move, and they get enough in kickbacks to make up for it anyway, the filthy, corrupt swine.
If you really want to get to them, have them cut staff in half.
Or if you want to see pain on the faces of Republicans, have then cut the number of pages/interns in half.
I say do both, cut their salary and their staffs. How many people do you need to schedule your orange spray tan appointments?
Oh, snap. They'd have to do their jobs. What would they do if they really had to follow the Teabagger playbook and READ THE BILL!
They could save some money by turning off the electricity to John Boehner's microphone.
Gee — no new regulations, shut down the government and cut things from the budget weekly — there's apparently no problem in America that can't be addressed with a magic gimmick that promises nothing. C'mon Ohio, and wake up — your Senator thinks you're idiots.
"…and
wakeman up — your Senatorthinksknows you're idiots."He's a brave man. Because to balance the budget (assuming that's the point), he'll need to cut $27,000,000,000 each week. At that rate, the entire Defense Department will be gone in six months. All of Social Security in another six.
Wanna take military, retirement & debt expense off the table? (That's the normal formulation for Repubicans.) Then all other federal spending must be cut to zero. WOW, I did that in 5 minutes! It was gonna take Boehner a year to figure it out.
Stay with me on this one a moment, fellow wonkeratti. Boner and McTurtle have veered even more to the right (so far to the right side, in fact, they're teetering on the part of the map that reads, "beyond here be monsters") to keep up with the bizarre teabagger rhetoric. The Teabaggers have won elections because of hate ads against Democrats, paid by secret billionaires who, you know, got nothin' to lose but a few pesky govt. regulations. Teabaggers will appear publicly only on the Fox 24 hour infomercial network. But, given the fact they are stoopid, they'll think they won all on their own and will take some massively inflated egos to the congress.
What I'm saying is: No one has given any thought to what the fuck these asshats are going to do once they're in office. Will they obey their overlords or get all cocky and think, Damn. I beat [Democratic establishment candidate] which means I am a fucking genius. Which is the point they figger, fuck you, Boner and McTurtle. This is OUR tea party now.
Having zero institutional memory, they won't remember that Newt shut down the government, and it doesn't work so hot when old folks quit getting their checks because no one's at home in the SSA. So fuck it–why not? I, for one, will forego my SS check for a few weeks so these nutcases can teabag the nation with sacks of their freaky ideas, ending with a massive premature spray over the faces of the dumb fucks who voted for them.
Zounds. I sometimes link funny wonkette articles on my facebook page. Not this one. Grandma the Sunday School teacher so doesn't want to get caught writing something as dirty as I just did. But again, fuck it. I can traffic in as much hate as the teabaggers.
2010 Election outcome rankings:
1. Filibuster-proof Dem majority in Senate, retain house
2. Status quo maintained
3. Teabaggers take everything and go nuts.
4. Sane Repubs take Senate and/or house and logjam everything, and Hopey refills the bladder on his veto pen.
Item (2) is most likely, and might lead to good things. But (3) will be a lot more entertaining, in the schadenfreude sense.
When Boehner's back in charge, you can guarantee that they'll require every bill in Congress have to be justified in terms of how it corresponds to the founders' intentions of torturing or killing brown people somewhere in the world.
Any Constitutional reason you can't put together such a bill now, you fuckstick twat-nosed orange cocksucking teabagging asshole of a fucknut?
I've said it before and I'll say it again ,Ms. Katydid, man I love it when you talk dirty.
Aw c'mon, Katydid! Tell us what you REALLY think of him. Don't hold back!
P.S. Twat-nosed is a good one!
How, pray tell, will this create J O B S? Where are the JOBS? Y'know, "Jobs, Jobs Jobs".
Cutting spending may mean cutting government jobs, but they don't count as real jobs, Glenn Beck said so; and less spending will mean more jobs because free markets trickle-down magic.
"Look, Granny. You wanted less spending, so don't bitch at me because we took Medicare away from you. Don't blame me if you gave birth to people who don't want to pay to keep your shriveled ass alive."
One new spending cut every week?!?!? At that pace the House (but not the senate, which won't agree to it) will have in one year proposed to cut ONE MILLION DOLLARS ZOMG!!!!!!!
Oh Boehner! Why don’t you get a spending cuts dartboard? Put on your blind fold (like you need one) and toss the dart at a board covered with all those unnecessary government projects you keep whining about. Whatever you hit gets the axe! Fun! Make the bulls eye social security. No peeking.
Ooooohhhhh, they're going to "propose" spending cuts. Hell, you can "propose" anything.
"I propose we build cities on the moon. What's that? No? Oh, okay. Well, at least I PROPOSED it."
Are we supposed to be impressed by that? Way to really lay down the law, Johnny.
Orange Boner must've meant the weeks they were in session. After all, he plans on shutting the guvmint down, so how much spending costs can be reuduced if they aren't operating. They would be at ZERO spending. DUH What a Bone head.
Does Boner eat a lot of carrots? Maybe he defiles the vegetable and has turned orange rather than chancing going blind…
House Republicans intend to make good on a central part of the “Pledge to America”
Wait, I thought the central part of the pledge was a centerfold of the Republican Page of the Year?
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