Not bad for two weeks late, and having an unlimited budget, and a live audience and a bunch of stoned people watching on the teevee! Not bad, but still not nearly as good as this guy.
HALLOWEEN
October 10, 2010
Political Wire
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Authors
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (924)
Rebecca Schoenkopf (413)
Liz Colville (170)
Kris E. Benson (10)
Sulagna Misra (3)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 40 comments }
Not enough newts-per-person to cast a spell? If she diced him properly, I'd bet Gingrich is fat enough to equal a majority of likely voters in Delaware.
The real thing is actually funnier than the parody.
Hard to parody something when the original is so over the top. I think that's why so many people think Sarah Palin actually said she could see Russia from her house.
Riley should make one of these, in full-on Harry Potter regalia:
"I'm not a witch. I'm a wizard, dammit. Are you people blind or just stupid? Now, this is a witch… (Benincasa enters, wearing a skimpy Halloween sexy-witch getup). Ready to go make some magic, baby?"
Yep, the diabetes guy is funnier.
In defense of SNL, the "I'm not a witch" came out this week in response to SNL showing her on a broom, so they were obigated to answer.
Meh. New Sara, a.k.a. Sara Benincasa, could have done much better, except it seems she doesn't like to play with us anymore. I don't know why.
And do I detect attitude from Ken? I wonder what intrigue is going on behind the scenes at Our Wonkette.
I want to see the Chris Coons ad saying: "I am not Christine O'Donnell".
Yeah! Then he could say stuff like "I actually graduated from college before this year. I never lied about where I went to school. I never used campaign funds to pay living expenses. I never argued for creationism on national TV or started a national campaign to tell people what to do in the privacy of their own bedrooms. But my opponent sure has."
It's completely unnecessary since he's like 20 points ahead, would make him look petty, and might confuse a few people who've been living in a cave into thinking he'd actually been the one accused of that crap, but it'd be awesome to see.
Are the Delaware voters smart enough to know which Chris they are voting for?
How many Delaware voters are voting for Chris O'Donnell from "Batman & Robin"?
I'm writing in Alicia Silverstone. She needs the job.
"What makes you think she's a witch?"
"Well, she turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?"
"I got better."
"She turned me into a short, sociopathic, adulterous, Islamophobic, race-baiting, intellect-faking, former-Speaker-of-the-House giant waste of time and attention. "
"And I never got better. BUT I COULD USE A COOKIE, RIGHT NOW!"
NEEDZ MOAR MASTURBASHUN !11!!
I thought that's how the whole witch thing started – O'Donnell riding her Harry Potter vibrating broomstick toy.
Dammit Christine, I want that broomstick toy back.
Do you need someone to come along and sweep you off of your feet?
I hope you cleaned it. O'Donnell cooties, yuck!
Fat Guy funnier. Can we have him do a "recruitment video" for Nazi reenactors?
This is true in every situation throughout history. When will SNL learn and just stock their cast full of Belushis, Sanzs, Farleys, and Hasterts?
Not as moving as the Sarah Palin: "I am not a greedy opportunistic quitter with no knowledge of or regard for the Constitution of the United States of Mericka." commercial.
It's funny because she said she wasn't a witch, but she actually is a witch. See?
She still managed to put a spell on a bunch of idiots in Delaware. She'll end up with a call-in 'no more sex' show on Fox in a year.
Time to face facts. SNL hasn't been worth a damn since "Toonces the Driving Cat" burned his 9th life. Damn, I LOVED that shit because you KNEW that motherfucker was going over the cliff. Every time! How is that not funny, amiright?
Okay, I just gotta say, a LOT of the SNL skits from the 70's and 80's were funny. Why? Because, at least for me, I was pubescent and early teenage around that time. I realize Toonces was around the late 80's early 90's and therefore I missed out on most of the funnies, because I was into hard drugs and living without the teevee by that time. Still, SNL is funny when you are stoned and/or a teenager.
Gee…I was being sarcastic about Toonces, there. I go back to the start of SNL: Chevy Chase playing Gerald Ford, the Nixon stuff, the "Ask President Carter" skit, John Belushi as Bruce Jenner. The classics, ya know? Tina Fey's Moosilini aside, the show has sucked for generations, now.
Which you should not be offended by if you like the show btw. Because who gives a flying fuck what I think anyway? There. I said it.
My bad, I always get nostalgic about SNL but then I realize that most of the reason why I loved it was because it was a forbidden fruit; you stayed up late on Saturday night to watch it because you were being a renegade and a potential adult. In the early days, SNL was cutting edge as far as sketch comedy in the U.S.; now, it's kind of degenerated, but maybe I'm too old to find the jokes funny, anymore? Wah!
You're not getting old. You're getting vintage. Big difference, huge really. Now be a good potential adult and cut the top off a box of wine and stick your face in it. It will be worth it!
After watching several entire episodes of the 70s cast on DVD, I firmly stand by the belief that they had their share of crappy skits and lame episodes as well, its just easier to remember the good stuff. The Coneheads eventually got ran into the ground and the boring Albert Brooks shorts and the Muppet skits have been completely forgotten.
Later, Eddie Murphy, Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Phil Hartman, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrel, Tina Fey, Darryl Hammond, Amy Poehler all made great contributions to the show that were mostly ignored by people who claim the show died when Belushi did (never mind the fact he left the show several years before his death).
Wait, are we sure that Christine O'Donnell isn't actually saying "I'm a ewe"? That would make her a female version of an animal with little intelligence who blindly follows the lead of others. Truth in advertising and all.
luv ewe!
I bet ewe say that to all the sheeple.
O/T, but speaking of insane GOP candidates, good ol' Carl Paladino doubled down on the crazy today, slamming gays, for no fucking reason.
New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino criticized gays Sunday, saying he didn't want children "to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option," compared to heterosexuality.
"It isn't," Paladino said at a stop in Brooklyn, New York.
For those of you outside of the NY metro area, "The candidate's remarks came a day after New York police announced the arrest of an eighth suspect in a series of brutal, anti-gay hate crimes against four men."
Oh, I guess the reason is he spoke before a group of Orthodox Jews, who have generally taken it upon themselves to condemn homosexuals, like all good religious fundamentalists.
I fucking hate religion, and I loathe many, many religious people.
This is also OT, but it made me think about a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday; he told me he got a handgun and is on his way to getting a carry permit; it didn't make sense at the time because I would never in a million years have thought this disco-loving peace punk would one day own a handgun. I didn't know about the hate crimes, but now I have a better idea of why he made this decision, I think.
Is there a reason that this post doesn't show up in the main part of the Wonkette home page, only on the side bar? Or is it just me?
It's a wonkett "we saw the story but didn't have enough time to come up with dirty adjectives" kind of post.
Roll your own dirty anecdote.
Unpack…your ADJECTIVES.
Well, if you have the time…
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