THE SOUND OF YOUNG AMERICA  4:40 pm October 8, 2010

9,000-Year-Old Woman Not Racist Against Coloreds, She Tells C-SPAN

by Jack Stuef

They should really do one of those Dirty Jobs shows about dealing with C-SPAN callers. [Videogum]

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Hola wonkerados.

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4TheTurnstiles October 8, 2010 at 4:43 pm

I think medicare's done enough for *you* already, old lady.

It's clearly hospice time for the teabagger generation.

Redhead October 8, 2010 at 8:27 pm

And people thought death panels were a bad idea.

the_onceler October 8, 2010 at 4:45 pm


That was an impressive and very professional host of that program.

Ducksworthy October 8, 2010 at 4:58 pm

He didn't think the "colored man" comment referred to him.

Beetagger October 8, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I found him to be very clean and articulate.

MsElla October 8, 2010 at 5:01 pm

(also non-snark) I agree. He earned his pay and then some in that one minute.

kenlayisalive October 8, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Sure, if Rick Sanchez could pull that off, people might think of him as a very good Hispanic anchor. Instead of, you know, a jew hating former anchor.

mumbly_joe October 8, 2010 at 5:26 pm

But, will he ever give this lady a simple "thank you" for that? Nooooo.

petehammer October 8, 2010 at 6:33 pm

He would have been angry, but he knew that he had already had sex with the woman's daughter and granddaughter. So, karma, I guess.

Limeylizzie October 8, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Wow, his eyes were blinking furiously,and wasn't that a smidgeon of a snarl playing around his mouth? He was fantastic!

Dr_pangloss October 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

You can almost hear him think "mutherfucking racist bitch" from here. Mans got more poise than I'd ever have. I'd be like " don't worry to much about it dear, you'll be worm food soon."

Buzz Feedback October 8, 2010 at 4:46 pm

I dunno if we've done enough for "you people," but I've sure done a lot for "that one." h/t WALNUTS

FlownOver October 8, 2010 at 4:47 pm

And I'm NOT A RACIST, you dirty n****r!

the_onceler October 8, 2010 at 4:48 pm

We can haz death panels now?

HurricaneAli October 8, 2010 at 4:49 pm

That was probably the most amount of emotion I've seen a Washington Journal host express. It takes a lot of not racist talk from a 9000 year-old lady to make them even move an eyebrow. God love 'em.

awesome_dude October 8, 2010 at 4:50 pm

"I'm X years old" = "I literally have no way to back up my argument"

Ducksworthy October 8, 2010 at 4:59 pm

My chronological is 93 but my mental age is 21/2 and shrinking.

Fare la Volpe October 10, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Old people seem to revert to toddlers after a certain age, whereupon they have to preface everything by holding up their fingers and saying "I'm this many old!"

awesome_dude October 12, 2010 at 10:30 am

This person was old enough to have voted throughout the entire civil rights era, and I can bet none of the people she voted for actually supported the movement. Aside from LBJ, of course (because isn't it just so tragic what happened to that papist mick that was his boss?)

mumbly_joe October 8, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Three cheers for post-racial America!

Chet Kincaid October 8, 2010 at 6:58 pm

There ought to be "Pre-Racial America" bumper stickers and posters, with the same image as this one:

imissopus October 8, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Someone tell Benincasa to quit pranking C-SPAN hosts and start writing for Wonkette again.

Tommmcatt October 8, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Ducksworthy October 8, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I pray for the day will all the teabaggers come to their senses and all together say "well that seems reasonable, nevermind"

natoslug October 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Opus: Penguin lust is not immoral and wicked, and anybody that thinks so is just an old prude. It's beautiful! And natural! And I for one fully support penguin lust!

Donahue: Great, but today's topic is "nun beating."

GunTotingProgressive October 8, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Good lord, man! I can't support that!

JoeMamased October 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm

I only hope her home health care aide was watching this, so she'll know just how grateful she should be.

Dashboard_Jesus October 9, 2010 at 1:39 am


Dr_pangloss October 9, 2010 at 11:39 am

Esspecially since her nurses are likely one of them colloreds.

Gratuitous World October 8, 2010 at 5:00 pm

By "free medicine" she meant "crack," right?

CapnFatback October 8, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Free medicine, free basing, free everything!

smokefilledroommate October 8, 2010 at 5:01 pm

She must think government assistance is a 'coloreds only' program.

JackDempsey1 October 8, 2010 at 5:01 pm

She forgot to start her comment with "Megadittos…"

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2010 at 5:02 pm

"Ma'am it's not always about race — and a few nice men in berets will be by your house to explain that in a little more detail."

Rambone October 8, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Here, here! Is it too much to ask that the coloreds thank the white man for all that he has done for them?

Let's start with the Native Americans. Hey Tonto, think you can muster a "thank you" for the free blankets?

Dashboard_Jesus October 9, 2010 at 1:42 am

hey at least they were able to stay warm, while dying from smallpox…and don't forget the nice beads, also!

i_AM_ready October 8, 2010 at 5:05 pm

The poor old racist dear, she actually sounded gentle and a little nervous. I bet she charged up her Rascal, snuck past the guard at the nursing home, and rode to the pay phone at the 7-11 to make her call. And then had to whisper into the phone lest anyone overhear and call the nursing home. No doubt she really doesn't consider herself racist. It's just that she's been senile since the 1940s or whenever it was that people stopped saying "the coloreds."

bumfug October 8, 2010 at 5:19 pm

The line of meth dealers at any 7-11 pay phone would be way too long, she probably used her Jitterbug old-fucks cell phone.

BrentKockman October 8, 2010 at 5:06 pm

When will "you people" see the pony in slavery? hengh? hengh?

V572625694 October 8, 2010 at 5:51 pm

No kidding. They got an all-expenses paid ride from Niger to Charleston — a lovely city! — and then job training, lodging, food, religious education, and sexual liberty so long as they were the beneficiaries of massa's libertine desires. All that in exchange for building the plantation, following the plough, picking a little cotton for a few hours every day. How ungrateful can Those People be?

Dashboard_Jesus October 9, 2010 at 1:45 am

…and don't forget Jim Crow, that was awfully 'white' of us!

elpinche October 8, 2010 at 5:12 pm

"Since then, we have given them welfare, the Cosbys, BET, Oprah, crack, guns, AIDS, and nice gated communities like Compton, Inglewood.."

The good news is by 2012, many of these old racist shitbags will have passed on to great klan rally in the sky.

problemwithcaring October 8, 2010 at 6:00 pm

They all have racist spawn, allowing gub'mint medicare to pay their racist parents' nursing home bills.

elpinche October 8, 2010 at 8:01 pm

That's where Nickelodeon's FEMA Camp Cruiseline comes in. Where all the little fatties are indoctrinated with education and science (Marxism).

Gopherit October 8, 2010 at 5:15 pm

"You don't have to tell me how we whupped you coloreds in the slavery. I was there. But we fed you. Even after. Really, what the fuck do you expect?"

bumfug October 8, 2010 at 5:16 pm

A 90 year old from south Florida – the other people who live there call her "the young'un."

Gopherit October 8, 2010 at 5:18 pm

That guy needs a day off. Let's see if Larry Willmore will take a shift for him. He'd tear that old, racist prune a new one.

BklynIlluminati October 8, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Shut up you old hag before i take all the butterscotch candy from the dish

nappyduggs October 9, 2010 at 12:00 pm

And no more rice pudding, because it obviously gives you the "horribles."

SudsMcKenzie October 8, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Larry Kings mother was just drunk dialing.

CapnFatback October 8, 2010 at 5:26 pm

I just love watching the Golden Girls blooper reel.

TanzbodenKoenig October 8, 2010 at 5:30 pm

What a perfect vignette of the blithe, offensive ignorance at the heart of the Tea Party movement.

OhHellToTheNo October 8, 2010 at 5:36 pm

No, you haven't. According to my grandmother, she clearly remembers marching somewhere down south asking for civil rights and a unicorn. A fucking unicorn. Where is it? That was, like, half a century ago. She didn't ask for a black president. She knew that'd be ridiculous because white people would still be all racist in the future but she really wanted that unicorn. She's still waiting, white America. Don't let my grandma down!

Badonkadonkette October 8, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I suppose it's too much to hope the DNC will take the first 45 seconds of this clip and run it, repeatedly, everywhere, between now and November 2.

Chet Kincaid October 8, 2010 at 5:40 pm

That would count as RNC campaign spending.

petehammer October 8, 2010 at 6:36 pm

The woman was actually an actor from Philadelphia, hired by the RNC. The casting call said "decrepit, senile old hag."

mrblifil October 8, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Another reminder that every douchebag who ever donned a white hood had a mother.

Chet Kincaid October 8, 2010 at 5:38 pm

After McCain snatched the microphone out of the old bitch's hand in '08, you'd think they wouldn't let her near anything she could speak her tiny mind into, again.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 5:40 pm

It's about damn time that colored man got the bellyachers and a mewl he was promised.

thx11380 October 8, 2010 at 5:48 pm

BAhahaha….you can almost see him thinking, "jebus fucking christ on a stick I wish I could get a real job so I didn't have to put up with these fucking morAns!"

On an unrelated note. Jack Stuef managed to post an entire story (just a video as he decided to just phone it in today) without backhandedly critisizing Obama. Amazing self control there Jack. I guess hearing the old bag call this black guy a "colored" was good enough for ya huh?!

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Considering how old the caller's tele-vision machine probably is, I'm surprised she even sees color.

V572625694 October 8, 2010 at 5:55 pm

You give somebody an all-expenses-paid cruise from Niger to Charleston — a lovely town, by the way! — free job training, whatever they want to eat out of the compost bin, a nice place to sleep, all the overseer cock they can accommodate, and in return all you ask for is a few hours a day following the plough, picking cotton, serving meals at the big house, etc. Is it too much to ask that they at least be grateful for all we White People have done for the coloreds?

I don't think so. Look at that uppity one in the "White" House — no respect at all!

DoktorZoom October 9, 2010 at 1:33 am

In America you'll get food to eat
Won't have to run through the jungle
And scuff up your feet
You'll just sing about Jesus and drink wine all day
It's great to be an American

Ain't no lions or tigers ain't no mamba snake
Just the sweet watermelon and the buckwheat cake
Ev'rybody is as happy as a man can be
Climb aboard little wog sail away with me

Sail away … sail away
We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston Bay…

JustPixelz October 9, 2010 at 1:00 pm

You forgot to mention guaranteed employment for life and cradle-to-grave medical care.

V572625694 October 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Plus free daycare until the picanninies are old enough to sell down the river What a paradise it was!

american__mutt October 8, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Old white folk speak: Wee kidnapped you and taught ya how to work the fields and live in the ghettos and feel detached from yer ancestors. where's ma thank yoo?

problemwithcaring October 8, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Right. If his eyebrows could burrow any further, they would have been in his chin.

PhilippePetain October 8, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Goddamn, if this doesn't make me pine for the days when everyone will have a videophone-gadget-device and we can see the old biddy's face as she calls in to lay down her wisdom, picture-in-picture style.

Jamie_Sommers October 8, 2010 at 6:14 pm

The one arch of the eyebrow at the end really said it all. Well done, C-SPAN man.

HateMachine October 8, 2010 at 6:15 pm

You see that face? That is the face of a man who is being more patient with the entire universe than he previously thought possible.

PsycWench October 8, 2010 at 6:23 pm

She was a little less off topic than this lady (NSFW)

LionHeartSoyDog October 9, 2010 at 2:38 am

O, Canada…

Troubledog October 8, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Is guy that is all calm with no negro accent unless he wanted to have one like Wayne Brady gonna hafta choke a bitch?

snoopyfan2010 October 8, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Completely OT, Steuf looks like the girl from Scooby Doo….Thelma.

legalize everything October 8, 2010 at 7:18 pm

And she was calling in for the Republicans? Didn't see that one coming.

blinky_twinkie October 8, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Master class in gracefully handling racist bullshit without batting an eyelash begins in 3….2….1….

Groupshrug October 8, 2010 at 7:44 pm

In her mind, "colored" is the politically correct term for "n*****".

Tim October 8, 2010 at 8:55 pm

I wish my 82 year old mother said "colored" … she doesn't even use it in public – I can't go anywhere with her.

chicken_thief October 8, 2010 at 9:47 pm

I feel your pain, Tim… god rest her soul, I could never to get mine to stop referring to anyone darker than the average golfer as "shines"…. If she'd have seen Boner on the tv it would have gone like: "WHUD THAT SHINE DO TO HIS HAIR?!!!" (She didn't wear her hearing aid so thought we were deaf, too.)

Swampgas_Man October 8, 2010 at 11:36 pm

For my Aunt Ruby — and don't THAT name say down-home? — the right word was "nigra."

donner_froh October 8, 2010 at 7:45 pm

"I'm 90 years old and I just want to ask to colored man…"

It looked to a very quick moment that the ultra-cool CSPAN guy was going to do a double take and start ripping her but then he realized that having "Washington Journal" on your resume is not a guaranteed path to your next gig on TV.

Which is a shame since it would have made great TV.

Tim October 8, 2010 at 8:24 pm

The 'Silent Generation' has finally spoken!!!

chicken_thief October 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm

and we missed nothing in the interim….

chicken_thief October 8, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Damn, she made that being colored sound so good!!! There for a sec, I almost wished I had been born into that coddled life… then I realized that she was just an old fucking loon.

Rotundo_ October 8, 2010 at 10:15 pm

I saw anger, but the self control and poise he showed was incredible. I don't think I could have made it through this without completely going off on this woman. I don't know how he did it.

Swampgas_Man October 8, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Not even an eye-roll. My eyes would have been spinning like windmills. Possibly in two different directions at once.

Tim October 8, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Just think, in 60 years the millennial teabaggers will be calling in doing the same thing, except they will be covered in tattoos; face, neck, arms, everything. And there will be video. I am glad I will not live to see this.

DoktorZoom October 9, 2010 at 1:36 am

Look, you really can't blame her. There was a colored fella, right there on the TV, and a phone number, and everything after that was pretty much just Fate.

Tim October 9, 2010 at 8:32 am

Really! She used to call the police when she saw colored folk on television. She's come a long way.

tribbzthesquidz October 9, 2010 at 2:26 pm

He wanted it.

Neoyorquino October 9, 2010 at 2:36 am

"What did you expect? 'Welcome, sonny?' 'Make yourself at home?' 'Marry my daughter?' You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know . . . morons."

Dr_pangloss October 9, 2010 at 11:50 am

Meanwhile in Rockridge..

The Presidents a N*Bong*er…

Mort_Sinclair October 9, 2010 at 9:07 am

Somebody strap that woman down in her Stannah stairlift and flip that sucker's switch to puree.

carlgt1 October 9, 2010 at 9:26 am

ok, the host was calm under pressure & awkwardness, but it would have been great if he stopped and said "ma'am, actually your use of 'colored' is considered offensive in this day and age" or something similar. Maybe the old biddy would have learned something. I mean even if she's 90 the terms "Negro" and "colored" were pretty archaic by what, 1975, so she would have been 55.

tribbzthesquidz October 9, 2010 at 2:28 pm

I wonder what's her stance on "orientals" ?

PsycWench October 9, 2010 at 6:22 pm

or Injuns?

kvetch October 9, 2010 at 5:39 pm

the host kept his cool. bravo to him. At least the caller didn't blame everything on the Jews. Maybe if she had another 20 seconds. Seriously – the linkage to Taibbi's article in Rolling Stone on the white brain seems even more dead on now.

Madcabbie October 9, 2010 at 6:13 pm

That was Rush "to eat" Limbaugh disguising his voice!

StarvingArtist October 10, 2010 at 6:43 am

As Ron Burgundy would say: "Stay classy, Florida!"

V572625694 October 8, 2010 at 5:48 pm

"Cracka-ass crackah," as Chris Rock so eloquently put it.

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