Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! “Just wanted you to know that this dismissal came up at our morning senior staff meeting today,” said the White House’s Cabinet liaison, Christopher Lu, who is probably wishing he had a cool signature that would impress everyone reading his now-infamous e-mails. “Everyone complimented USDA on how quickly you took this action.” We hope the Obama administration let the USDA pick out a sticker for doing such a good job firing that innocent lady! Also interesting: the USDA took note of what your Wonkette said about the Sherrod video, but failed to take our position that the video was not actually a big deal and was just Breitbart race-baiting. Whoops!
Here’s another “amusing” thing: Shirley Sherrod tried to tell USDA officials they would see just how very innocuous the video was if they looked at the context. Only after she went on teevee telling people this did the USDA bother to ask itself if it had ever tried to find the full video or transcript. Whoops!
Here’s an e-mail from USDA public affairs director Chris Mather:
Haha, yes, those are the main news sources: Fox, CNN, the AP, and Wonkette. But it’s also funny how we were the only ones in that group that said this whole thing was dumb before they fired her! Remember that? Whoops!
The lesson everyone should learn from this is the federal government should listen at all times to a blog that primarily covers news about politicians’ dildos. And right now we’re saying the government should give everyone free popsicles. Get on that, Mather! [CNN/Salon/Scribd/LAT]
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Wow. If only everybody in Washington DC would listen to the Wonkette. Then every day would be the best day since Jesus invented the calendar.
That and the popsicles.
Actually, the popsicle was invented by Moses, but then Jesus rode up on his T-Rex and said:
"What the hell, Moze? Put some extra corn syrup in that shit, ya dumb old Jew!"
And then Democracy was saved and that's the story of Xmas.
The main takeaway from this is that we'd better be getting Push-Pops from Mather, and not some Commie Muslin Whole Fruit bars.
But is it made to Halal guidelines?
Cuz' if so, my family will have to give up popsicle night.
"Haha, yes, those are the main news sources: Fox, CNN, the AP, and Wonkette. "
Actually, the odd inclusion in that list is Fox.
It's great to see our guvamint is spending a large proportion of its time examining its own media coverage instead of doing useful work. Navel-gazing: it's so spiritual! But enough about me; how do you feel about me?
If they don't watch Fox, how can they know who to fire?
And right now we’re saying the government should give everyone free popsicles.
The lamestream media won't cover this eminently sensible suggestion, just like Wonkette's participation in the original story won't rate a mention, either.
The fourth estate has become a fifth column.
Get ready for the USDA's Friday news dump about masturbating witches.
I applaud Wonkette's elevation to the circle of movers and shruggers.
Today we are all politicians' dildos.
Oh, sorry, guess that's every day.
My reaction to this extends from pride to horror. I'm going to take a nap now — probably until Thursday.
Fucking dildos, all of them.
We have arrived at the elite. Take that LNS!
FOIA isn't F!
HA HA!
Apparently someone has a serious hard-on for my 'p'-ness — nearly every comment I've made over the last few days has been met with a handjob of hate.
I'm now going to pretend that the zero in my current comment score is their asshole and violently fuck the puckered shit out of if with my pointy black cursor-cock.
UNH! UNH! YOU LIKE THAT BITCH?! UNHUNHUNNNHHH!!
I just gave you some deep p-love.
Thanks — I was running out of ways to sexual assault a negative commment score.
Oh, now it's -1!
Looks like I'll have to switch things up to a brass knuckled cock punch or something…
Here's some help!
I think Breitbart's been sending agents over – several posts have had comments start quickly plummeting into negative P before getting pumped back up and I did not intend to make this sound sexual but now it does.
is the usda on board with the buttsex agenda? we can use the free popsicles for an interesting variation on that. (i hear that if you put the butterscotch-flavored one in the right way, you can make yourself a virgin again.)
The thing is, Wonkette is far more credible and accurate than FOX News.
I've always considered us to be analogous to the court Jesters of yore; where our foolish japes, puns and double entendres are the only way the truth can be told in the court of the nobles.
Except the nobles don't think we're funny. And don't pay our salaries. And would kill us if they could.
Someone award this Mather citizen an Official Wonkette TruckNutz Nipple Clamp.
Personally, I'm looking forward to flight attendants handing out the daily print edition of "Wonkette Today" whenever I board a plane.
I was on a Southwest flight out of Vegas last night. The flight was delayed two hours so the hostess entertained us with Angle stories. Did you know she once introduced legislation that would appropriate $2 million in stimulus money to clothe the nude Roman statues in Caesars Palace?
Today, we are all the lamestream liberal (and JooISH!!!!) media establishment, also combined with Journolist (WHICH IS ALSO RUN BY J00Z, OMG).
Welcome to the lamestream, Wonkette, and farewell. Synonymism with FOX and CNN corrupts absolutely.
"Wonkette has posted something."
I'm KVELLING!
Aren't you going to slap a libel suit on this asshole for equating Wonkette with those "news" outlets?
Why, oh, why is the Obama administration so ready to cave to any hint of pressure from the right. What do they have on him?
They must see that they will never gain the support of the wingnutz on anything and all they do is erode their own base of voters.
Their women are to ugly and fat to fuck, he's probably not gay – what are they holding over his head? Didn't anyone in the administration read the '08 election returns or count heads in Congress? What gives?
Could it be fear of rejection, a father figure thing, no guts or just (gasp) stupidity?
Popsicles! Just in time, it's hot here. I want orange.
Creamsicles, FTW!
Chris Mather? Is Chris short for Cotton?
That memo sounds like the opening minute of a "Hitler Finds Out Shirley Sherrod Is Not Actually A Racist" video. "We have deployed our statements here, here, und here…" "Mr. President…Sherrod…it turns out Sherrod is not a racist."
Certainly explains the great polling numbers assfucking has been getting lately. Oops, sorry — buttsecks.
They fired Shirley on "news" stories from Fox and Wonkette? Fucking buttsecksing, pansy, bed wetters. Rarrrrawwwww!!
Like those other esteemed news organizations, Wonkette needs a tagline! Something like "Fair and Balanced," but Wonkette's line should actually be accurate . . .
How's about "Angry and Horny!"
Not Full of Shit!
Justified and Ancient!
OMFG! This would be hilarious if not for being so terribly, terribly sad. Sigh…just more evidence that Wonkette is dangerous when consumed by the faint of intellect.
So our Wonkette has been admitted to the circle of the Great Mentioners<?i>? Dildos and Popsicles for all!
Will we compose our every comment from now with the foremost thought "What would Chris Mather think of this?""
Well, no.
Oooh, ask for a unicorn each for us too. And ask that everyone get their own Anderson Cooper either for sexytime or newsreading, whichever one prefers. Puhleaze wonks?!
I was on the receiving end of a "migratory effort" by my last employer, too, which is why I'm now sitting naked on my filthy bathroom floor with nothing but my Wonkette and a bottle of Thunderbird to keep me company.
Man, that sucks! If it were two bottles of Thunderbird, we'd be talking fun.
Do we get dildos shaped like popsicles or popsicles shaped like dildos?
Have the "Thank you" notes arrived from Fox News and CNN for pointing out what dumb asses they are yet? No? So not only are they stupid, they have terrible manners. Their mothers didn't raise them right.
Like, it's one thing to have this voice in the back of your head going "no, no, the Democrats can't possibly be a bunch of craven careerist pussies who will flinch the instant something mildly controversial comes into play and who are catering to some imaginary Sheryl Crow-listening demographic that doesn't actually exist" and then they do shit like THIS and the voice just starts huffing paint thinner again and the next thing you know you're behind the 7-11 with a cock in each hand and a Flip video camera soaking it in and ——-
That's just me, isn't it.
If only the politicians and mainstream media (besides just Maddow, who's awesome and read from one of Josh's posts the other night) would pay more attention to Wonkette, they'd know not to pay attention to cumpulsive liars and racists like Riley's stalker.
Thanks for posting the link to the old (restored) discussion, because it actually reminded me of something.
Far from being an inconsequential penisblog, Wonkette did actually play a significant role in the denouement of this whole crapsackular episode: It was Wonette commenter and also warblogger-on-wingnut-sites "teh_mantis" who initially pointed out the evidence that Breitbart forgot to edit out, that she was talking about something that happened in the mid-1980's, years before she worked for the government, and not something that happened last week. I notice this also got picked up and hat-tipped at LGF, and this observation, along with Sherrod's more public protestations, caused a couple of bloggers, and then media-types, to give the whole stupid matter the second look that they should have in the first place.
So, umm, go us! Or rather, teh_mantis specifically. Is mantis still around? Going by a different name? Come, let us shower you with accolades, and also with p.
Exactly. Looking at where the story appears, and not what the story's about.
But it can be a real timesaver in determining if a story is for real. Just like looking at skin color is a timesaver in determining the content of one's character.
Atta a boy Jack Stuef. You have once again shown excellent pretzelmanship twisting yourself into knots to critisize the Obama Administration on this one. Or as you would say "just doing your job", padding the resume etc. till that sweet right wing media gig comes through for ya.
By now I think you are a least qualified to lick James O'Keefe's taint.
Free reindeer dildo poopsicles, natch.
Isn't anybody asking why Vilsack and Cook are still employed???? If this had been a business, they presumably would have both been fired for extreme incompetence, and letting the company open to a massive lawsuit. Oh, I forgot, you can't sue the idiots running this country – that's why we have idiots running it.
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