suck on this luke russert

Here Is a Video of Wonkette Singing About Masturbation

if you don't think this is adorable you are probably a jerkBob Schieffer hosted a karaoke fundraiser event for drunk newscasters and other drunken media types. Team Wonkette won Best Worst Performance, and here is the video that proves it:

In the red belt-gown is Wonkabout Food & Booze expert Arielle Fleisher. On the left is the glamorous Liz Glover, who was more or less propositioned by Luke Russert later that night. They were both dressed as Christine O’Donnell sex witches. In the middle of this threesome is your Riley Waggaman, dressed like a Hare Krishna and wearing pantyhose on his head — which was supposed to symbolize a meatball but obviously nobody “got it.”

Dave Weigel gave a star performance but was CHEATED out of a Karaoke Trophy. (Luke Russert apparently “won.”) But seriously, Weigel rocked and even had all these dancing biddies up on stage with him. But did Weigel even pretend to care about these women? Of course not. He gave them all paper-cuts with his WaPo severance check and then danced with Team Wonkette instead.

Special thanks to Dawne Langford for being our special Wonkette cameraperson, and also many thank yous to Amanda Moran, who was in charge of Wonkette makeup/powdering Riley’s honker.

But the real hero is videographer extraordinaire Liz Glover, who not only provided all the costumes but also edited this Best Worst Performance video. Obviously it was impossible for her to edit out “all the embarrassment” but c’mon people, it’s karaoke! Yay Liz!

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About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Hola wonkerados.

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57 comments

  1. harry_palmer

    Riley, did you learn those contortions you were going through at Liz Glover's yoga studio/ S & M dungeon?

  2. Umbrageofsnow

    Pretty sweet dance moves there too. I think we need to get embedded on Dancing With The Stars to keep an eye on Bristol and to be prepared for whenever the next republican joins the competition.

    My money is on Michael Steele. He hasn't done enough embarrassingly hilarious things lately.

  3. natoslug

    Wait, are we allowed to play marry-fuck-kill with this picture? If so, I need more categories. Riley can be my houseboy, I'm going Mormon just so I can marry Arielle and Liz, and I'll call Dave when I need some plumbing done. Someone's got to be there to Weigel in my excrement . . .

  4. mdotsota

    Liz's head looks like it is floating away in that picture. She never should have dabbled in the witchery.

  5. Katydid

    It's all fun and games until this song comes on the radio when you're singing along to the music, with your 9-year-old in the car.

  6. prommie

    You kooky kids. You're making me feel old, with all your youth and youngness and not being old and probably lots of enthusiastic youthful sex all the time and being young and youthful.

  7. awesome_dude

    has Permanent Intern Riley always been so great, or is he awakening some deep part of me that I was previously unaware of?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      It's okay to have these feelings, a_d. There's nothing wrong with them. Riley's awakened many a young man's budding sexuality. Just ask Breitfart.

      1. awesome_dude

        It's good to know I have support out there. I need to be sure though, so you and I need to make out immediately.

  8. JMPEsq

    So it sounds like Luke Russert's animal magnetism wasn't enough for Liz? Strange, I would think "my father died, and all I got was this lucrative career for which I'm completely unqualified" would be a great pickup line.

    The other guy in the picture (Weigel?) looks like he's trying to make an Arielle-Liz sandwich.

  9. WhatTheHeck

    It’s good to see someone having fun during this recession/depression. Yet watching that vlog made me feel a little weird inside.

  10. RedneckMuslin

    I thought Riley looked more like Ghandi. Danced like Ghandi and wearing shoes that only Ghandi would wear.

  11. slappypaddy

    that girl in the middle, the really short-haired one doing all the singing and dancing, she's a real cutie. those other two look dangerous.

  12. DCHatesMe

    Bob Schieffer scared the hell out of me. Why not dig up Richard Nixon's body and toss it at the audience? Too much trouble?

  13. MiniMencken

    Caucasian women of child-bearing age with bilaterally symmetrical features! Does it get any hotter than that?

  14. ShaveTheWhales

    I have to say, in all honesty, that was really terrible.

    Of course, that is the true purpose of karaoke, so congratulations on having so much fun, you whippersnappers.

  15. DeLand_DeLakes

    Okay, I can no longer keep quiet about how I am totally sprung for Intern Riley. I'm a sucker for a skinny geek in lip gloss (which is probably why I relieved so many of them of their virginity in my teen years.)
    How 'bout it, Riley? I'm slender, 1/2 blonde, and was born female! But if Breitbart has given you a ring, I'll totally understand.

    1. rileywaggs

      Do you know how many times I've been propositioned by so-called "women" on the Internet — and then agree to meet them in some deserted alleyway — only to discover that they are not actually "women" but instead are hairy old men/space Martians who abduct me and conduct cruel experiments on my pale & fragile body? Do you think I am gullible enough to fall for the ol' "slender, 1/2 blonde, born female" trick? Because I am, so where do you want to meet? I anxiously await your reply.

      1. DeLand_DeLakes

        Ah crap, that's the thing. I live smack dab in the middle of the flyover cow country that you bastards are always mocking, so our sexytimes will probably have to be isolated to Manhunt and Chat Roulette. But never fear, I am still quite capable of conducting cruel (psychological) experiments via electronic media, my tender flower!

        1. rileywaggs

          I can't do long-distance Internet relationships. I'm sorry. Besides, what if Andrew found out?!

          Maybe we will meet in twenty years, on Match.com.

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