THAT PISSES ME OFF  10:23 pm October 7, 2010

Flavored Chew Fiend ‘Skoalrebel’ Has Become Cartman, On ‘South Park’

by Ken Layne

Have you forgotten all about the redneck webcam star “Skoal Rebel” aka skoalrebel, who was for a brief moment in time the most popular Actual Human Character on your Wonkette? The cud-chewin’ loser may have dropped off the map “in real life,” but his memory lives on within the appalling cartoon character of Cartman from teevee’s South Park. Are things getting weirder out there? Let’s look at the original Skoalrebel, and laugh together.

[South Park via "Nathan"]
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Hola wonkerados.

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fatoots October 7, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Word to you mutha. Peace out. Also

Native_of_SL_UT October 7, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Remember the good old days when parody was funnier than the original? Skoalrebel, the Palins, O'Donnell and the rest are going to put comedy writers out of work.

Tim October 8, 2010 at 12:39 am

Yes. Sometimes I think John Stewart is so successful at comedy because he doesn't exactly satirize, but articulates the "WTF" reaction better than any one else. Parody is dead.

Redhead October 8, 2010 at 7:45 am

SNL did a good job of parodying Sarah Palin… except people got confuzzled and mixed up their parody with the real Palin. When that's the level of stupid you're starting with, there's really nowhere to go.

elpinche October 7, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Wonkette is always ahead of the game.

bagofmice October 7, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Yeeeeaaarg. I can't view this on my iPhone.

the_problem_child October 7, 2010 at 10:46 pm

I can't view this in Canada City.

the_problem_child October 7, 2010 at 10:52 pm

But then again, I probably couldn't view our Wonkette at all from Iran.

Ken Layne October 7, 2010 at 10:48 pm

That's not a very skoalrebel thing to say.

Gopherit October 7, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Seriously. That's fuckin' gay as hell. Where is my copenhagen…..peach? That's gay! That's gay as hell!

Crank_Tango October 8, 2010 at 12:42 am

nevar forgit flavor dips!!!11!!!

bagofmice October 8, 2010 at 4:11 am

True, it's more yuppie ironic pirate than skoalrebel. I just escaped back into the city after delivering a laptop to my parents, who taught me to never trust an open soda can as a child, by example.

spooked911 October 8, 2010 at 7:33 am

seriously– I *HATE* the new Wonkette iPhone format

SmutBoffin October 7, 2010 at 10:53 pm

I wonder if he ever got that cough assessed by a medical professional. Could be serious, and I can't imagine life in a world without him.

tbogg October 7, 2010 at 10:57 pm

You know CNN only hired Erik Erikson because skoalrebel wanted too much money.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 3:54 am

I hate to raise ol' Skoal's expectorations, but after mudjugging Rick Sanchez, I'm thinking CNN might be looking for some dip.

smokefilledroommate October 7, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Needs moar Mudjugz.

SmutBoffin October 7, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Don't we all?

realmurkin October 8, 2010 at 12:11 am

Until about 30 seconds ago, I was under the impression that "mud jugs" were simply mud-covered tits. This is a sad, sad day.

smokefilledroommate October 8, 2010 at 1:32 am

And yet you call yourself a "real" murkin.. HA!

realmurkin October 8, 2010 at 1:42 am

*sigh* You got me. I guess I just can't hide my true nature as an arugula-munching elitist.

bagofmice October 8, 2010 at 4:12 am

I heard u liek mudjugs.

Troubledog October 7, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Welease the Skoal Webel!

bumfug October 7, 2010 at 11:15 pm

This, my friends, is why I'm moving to L.A. a week from today. Not that these defective humans don't live out there, it's just that they aren't every fucking person you meet *cough* I'm in Augusta, GA*cough*

Mumbletypeg October 7, 2010 at 11:36 pm

Wasn't there a song by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, "…Augusta, Georgia is just no place to be"? Best wishes for the future.

elfgoldsackring October 7, 2010 at 11:22 pm

FFS, "dips" has one syllable. Not seventeen.

skaboomizzy October 7, 2010 at 11:23 pm

He's still around, his new YouTube account is mudjugsforlife21

Rarian Rakista October 8, 2010 at 12:20 am

He looks like a shaved sea cow, are we sure we are not dealing with a new sentient species on this planet?

skaboomizzy October 8, 2010 at 2:21 am

It's his summer coat. Soon his winter coat will grow back in, including dirt-stache and peach-fuzz on the fat, carcinoma-riddled cheeks.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 4:07 am

He does convey a unique sense of huge manatee.

One_who_wanders October 8, 2010 at 7:50 am

I know manatees and skoalrebel is no manatee. They are gentle vegetarians . . .

finallyhappy October 8, 2010 at 7:40 am

well, it depends on your definition of sentient

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 8, 2010 at 12:02 am

Trey and Matt owe him big time. I hope they at least give him some writing credit or something.

fuflans October 8, 2010 at 12:06 am

america fuck yeah.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 4:11 am




johnnyzhivago October 8, 2010 at 12:12 am

Oh, for a second I thought that fat slob was our governor, Chris Christie.

[Snark Off]

It is probably not national news, but our horizontally exceptional leader today opted out of a major infrastructure project (the new rail tunnel from NJ to NY). This will permanantly cap commuter traffic across the Hudson River to the lofty levels envisioned in 1912 when the first tunnel was built by the Pennsylvania Railroad (an institution apparently more forward looking than today's Republican Party).

This is America in it's death throes, as it rejects projects that keep it's own lifeblood flowing….

kenlayisalive October 8, 2010 at 12:57 am

He seems to be making a habit of throwing federal money down the toilet – first for education, now for this much needed rail link.

Clearly, he is some kind of fiscal genius working beyond the powers of mere mortals to comprehend.

Or maybe he is just a fat fucking idiot.

One_who_wanders October 8, 2010 at 7:47 am

I know which of those is the smart way to bet.

spooked911 October 8, 2010 at 7:36 am

we are now the "Can't Do Nation"

Radiotherapy October 8, 2010 at 12:42 am
LionelHutzEsq October 8, 2010 at 1:52 am

Obviously fake, as Skoalrebel is too smart and well spoken to be a Hannity guest.

Starfish October 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm

thank you. thank you so much. how did you know i was stoned off my ass?

Fare la Volpe October 8, 2010 at 1:05 am

I love how he takes the time to cough up all that pig jizz before dipping. That's the mark of a gentleman.

fuflans October 8, 2010 at 1:16 am

things skoalrebel has not considered:

A lost flute concerto by the composer Vivaldi has been discovered at the National Archives of Scotland.

fucking scots.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 4:51 am

A thousand Midwest wedding planners just creamed their pleated skorts.

bureaucrap October 8, 2010 at 11:20 am

All vivaldi sounds alike anyways so this actually isn't such a big deal.

Extemporanus October 8, 2010 at 4:16 am

Wow…Cartman is skoalrebel's spittin' image!


zhubajie October 8, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Maybe he's Cartman's father.

AntonovBureau October 8, 2010 at 4:46 am

All I get is "Sorry, this video is unavailable from this site".

First Obambi bans flavored chew and my precious kretek cigarettes, and now he stifles meh FRIST AMENDMENTAL RITES.

DCHatesMe October 8, 2010 at 6:55 am

So today ….

I'll be reviewing Grizzly Wintergreen

Yup, agin

Got my jug


(2 minutes of heavy breathing later)


neiltheblaze October 8, 2010 at 7:51 am

I see the herpes sores on his face seem to have calmed down a little.

Rarian Rakista October 8, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Ladies, at least we knows he gives oral.

frailamerica October 8, 2010 at 8:38 am

I just assumed this kid died. Hope is truly gone.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 8, 2010 at 8:41 am

Only in America. I mean, really, where else on the planet is material like this produced? The Japanese television wackiness can't compete. Sometimes there's an English or Scottish or Irish bit of local color that achieves a degree of unselfconscious comedic brilliance. But no other culture could possibly spawn such a combination of pathos, subcortical appetites, and unrestrained bile that somehow retains an innocence at the same time. We are exceptional, no doubt about it.

(I'm referring to the SkoReb, in case that's not clear, not South Park.)

loquacioustunes October 8, 2010 at 8:45 am

I don't know if it's my firewall or Comedy Central, but I'm getting a message that the video is "currently unavailable" — very much like flavored dip, in fact.

Katydid October 8, 2010 at 8:53 am

Try Look for Poor and Stupid clips.

Oblios_Cap October 8, 2010 at 9:21 am

It looks like he's got a pile of flammable shit piled on a stove behind him. Spontaneous combustion would be a nice ending to the video.

bureaucrap October 8, 2010 at 9:45 am

I saw this bit on Wed. night and thought, "OMG, trey and matt are reading wonkette"!

weejee October 8, 2010 at 10:09 am

Beyond politics, we get vocabulary (see mudjugz, above), literature, science, and the maths. Ken, can you look into Wonketteers getting CEUs?

TanzbodenKoenig October 8, 2010 at 10:25 am

Is he on drugs or just stupid?

notreelyhelping October 8, 2010 at 11:09 am

Note to kids who may be watching this: Skoal, cough syrup, sniffing glue, and Maddog are not a pretty combination.

SaintRond October 8, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Jesus God, every time I look at this swollen elastic sack of nicotine and cholesterol I feel like I can smell his ass.

EdFlintstone October 8, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Laugh now libtards, but wait til 2012 when the Koch brothers finance his teabagger run for congress in the 3rd hatfield-mccoy congressional district, then he'll be congressman Skoalrebel!!!

GOPCrusher October 8, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Sadly, the message that Matt and Trey were sending will be lost on the intended audience, since NASCAR fans only watch Comedy Central when Larry The Cable Guy is on.

BobWonderPoodle October 8, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Skoal Rebel has replied…..

DoktorZoom October 8, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Jezucristo. YouTube is a window to a world that I don't want to know about.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 8, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Oh man. This guy is adorable.

He also has an important discussion of the BP oil spill, too. Apparently the ecosystem is basically the water, and the "ole" is getting up into our beaches in Florida, like Myrtle Beach. SkoalRebel likes wildlife, he tells us.

Strong stuff.

lulzmonger October 8, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Cartman: can not see in my country.
mudjugsforlife21: can not unsee.


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