Apparently SOME lawyers would rather recite pledges of allegiance to MUSLIM NOODLE SOUP than THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a fact that does not sit well with patriot Mississippi Chancery Court Judge Talmadge Littlejohn, who threw attorney Danny Lampley in jail yesterday for failing to recite the Pledge in court. This is rather illegal for the judge to do, of course. But sometimes judges have to be activist (AHHHH! SCARY!) to enforce the more important parts of the Constitution (about how everyone has to talk about how much they love their country all the time and being gay is illegal, for example) against the less important parts (First Amendment). And thus Talmadge Littlejohn, who even sounds like a grand Confederate general, has saved our great country (the Confederate / United States of America) from those who wish to destroy it.
And he even did it with realistic judge-speak!
BE IT REMEMBERED, this date, the Court having ordered all present in the courtroom to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegience, and having found that Danny Lampley, Attorney at Law, failed and refused to do so, finds said Danny Lampley to be in criminal contempt of court. [...]
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, ADJUDGED, AND DECREED, that Danny Lampley shall purge himself of said criminal contempt by complying with the order of this Court by standing and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in open court.
Lampley has decided not to “purge himself of said criminal contempt,” because that would make him like a teenage bulimic who vomits liberty instead of food. Or something, who knows, he’s in jail or whatever, so he can’t speak to the press.
In Mississippi? Are we sure this happened in Mississippi? [The Agitator via Andrew Sullivan]
{ 85 comments }
Ah yes, the ever famous 1776th Amendment requiring the mandatory Pledging of Allegiance at all times, everywhere.
Remember to take your liberty pills to make your shits be red, white and blue and your farts smell like apple pie.
Judge Littlejohn, he a big dick.
Maybe so, but he's got the short dick syndrome.
I think his syndrome could be completely cured with a sufficiently large dick taken 3x a day. Lets make this happen people.
He should recite it in the original Klingon.
IT IS FURTHER ORDED, ADJUDGED, AND DECREED that this judge has a rather ham-biscuited judicial temperament. I hope Sarah remembers him when the next Supreme Court vacancy opens up.
And has anyone else ever noticed the retarded tendancy of some Amurricans to conflate the symbol (flag) with the thing itself (functioning democracy with many guns)? This stoopid pledge is the source of much of it. The cloth is not the Country, morans! You can't "desecrate" it any more than you can desecrate a handkerchief when you jerk off into it watching NASCAR on Fox. Let's call it metonymic fever.
Same thing 99% of religious people do.
Something about civil religion. That "no other gods before me" stuff doesn't mean poop when you've got ritually adorn yourself with flags while chanting the pledge before taking the first step on your pilgrimage to the Sacred Lawn where the Healer will restore your Honor to Founding Father purity.
Well the pledge of allegiance was actually written by a socialist, strange that most of the people who actually recite it hate " dem' socialists."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance
He did a nice job writing that decree from his scooter.
OT, but Vietnam ribbon? That would mean you spent more time in Vietnam than Newt Gingrich. (I set the bar pretty low, eh?) Also more time than me.
Curious to see if anyone would notice the ribbon. More time than John Kerry, less time than Panamanian strongman Juan McCain.
Oh fuck, the south has risen again, and its coming for our weak, feminine christianity and commie freedoms. This is muscular patriotism, the kind Jesus originally intended when he wrote the Declaration of Independence. The sherrif is near, and goddammit, the South has had enough of this shit, first the freeing of the slaves thing, then the letting jews in the country club, then the blacks walking around, looking you right in the eye, for god's sake, and going to the same school as your white kids, then this no prayer in school, and the flag-burning and the hippies, that was all bad enough, but now, the sherrif is near, and they ain't gonna stands it no more. Pigfuckers all over the nation are rising as one, in a mass explosion of crazyhaterage, all because the sherrif is near.
I just purged myself. Went pretty well and I got caught up on People magazine. Mr. Lampley might reconsider.
And I gather His Honor would also like us to bring back the Bellamy Salute when reciting the pledge, eh? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellamy_salute
Cool. Thanks for that. I never knew that bit of history.
Loyalty oaths are coming. And then, the great tea-party real american inquisition, to route out liberal heresy, liberal heresy by thought, liberal heresy by word, liberal heresy by deed, all will be discovered, and purged from this great country, restoring us to the original ideals of our christian zealot theocratic authoritarian founding fathers.
Nobody Expects the Teabag Inquisition.
Hail. I mean, hell.
I think you mean, " Heil "
Wow. Why did that every fall out of favor? Its so…. so…. snappy.
I didn't know about the Bellamy salute, either . . . even though I know everything. Thanks!
OMG that would be SO AWESOME! I'm going to start doing that posthaste.
Evil Crypto-Kenyan Demonrat Franklin Delano Roosevelt usurped the people's will in December '42, replacing the "Saluto Romano-inspired 'Bellamy" with the über-milquetoast boob feel-up.
The K of C lobbied and help win addition of the mystic "under G-d" incantations to protect us from gawdless Soviet Collectivism, starting on 6/14/54.
I like just 22 words…nice, concise, streamline…
I blame fluridation. Or TV. Or the cell phones. Clearly, we are all getting stupider by the day.
not me.
TV
For women it's court ordered acid burns to the face.
And liberty and justice for all. Well some at least.
Both those who believe in ritual public displays of fetishized jingoistic patriotism, and those who don't, are free to say the pledge of allegiance when ordered to do so, so you see, we are all equally free.
Freedom of speech don't give you the right to NAWT speak the words I order you to speak, boy! I am the flag and the flag is me! Respect my authoritah!!
When Judges and Police mistake groveling before authority and actual justice they should be stripped of their pensions and thrown into a 9×10.
WTF? Was this some kind of judicial fraternity hazing? I had to recite shit on command during hell week
In the law, whats going on here is referred to as "judgeisfuckingnuts." Thats one of those law-latin terms, it means the judge is upset that the sherrif is near.
The Musslins are winning already.
I don't know why the judge wants people reciting the pledge when he clearly hates the republic for which it stands, liberty and justice.
Sort of like the republicans "Pledge to America".
He only hates us for our freedoms.
Double plus good.
Geez, Judge Littlepants, who pissed in your Allah soup at lunch?
It really is fucking stupidity runneth over day. Why not just start everything over at Year 1 and run everyone with glasses into the seas?
Why don't we run them into the seas and force them to evolve into at least amphibians?
He was pledging allegience to the wrong flag. Bring in the stars and bars!!
Mississippi–the gift that keeps on giving: type II diabetes, illiteracy, catfish farms and Brett Favre.
Now you also know why the blues sprang from the delta…
I for one welcome our new fascist southern judiciary. They will make the trains run on time, I am sure of it.
But they won't appropriate one single socialist government dollar to fix up the tracks or buy new equipment, so good luck, Southtards.
It's more fun to wonder when the train will jump the tracks and crush a school bus. One can't appropriate that kind of excitement. No siree.
The Southern States take the balk of money spent on social programs. If the rest of the US stopped sending aid to the Bible Belt they would be about as well off as the people in North Korea, who have a cannibalism problem.
And sing the Horst Wessel Lied, too, while you're at it, I guess.
The original Talmadge Littlejohn's testicles were found hanging from a split rail fence the day after the Battle of Gettysburg. Unfortunately, he had already sired Talmadge Littlejohn Junior so the genes (and the accompanying congenital syphilis) have come down through the generations to the present day Judge Talmadge Littlejohn. May his testicles end up decorating a split rail fence.
Or a pick-up truck.
Judge received law degree from Coney Island college. GO WHITEFISH!
And in the spirit of Pledgeofallegiancial originalism, we should leave out the odious suckup to some nameless generic deity that was only added in 1953.
Or that the original author was a socialist; an actual full-on one, not just someone who believes in government-run firefighting for all.
The best part is that he was a Baptist minister. Watching Evangelicals google that tid bit is hilarious.
Pledge, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
(What an asshole!)
I refuse to believe that Talmadge Littlejohn is not a figment of Harper Lee's imagination.
I was thinking more along the lines of the personification of one of Flannery O'Connor's loose stools, but yours works better.
10,000 plus thumbs for that.
I am not the first person to come up with this, but it is time to start calling it The War Of Southern Regression.
The War of Southern Regression That's just chock-full of explanatory goodness! Well done, sir. Well done indeed. I gladly raise my thumb up in your general direction.
Thankee. I thought of it, then googled it; I'm surprised it isn't used more widely, since it perfectly suits the situation. Needs to be a Wonkette tag, what say you, Mr. Ken Layne?
The social sciences have rejected the concept of the "degenerate," the segment of society which has slipped backward, regressed into a congenital state of criminality and stupidity, passed from generation to generation. It was a popular theory back in the 1920s. Of course, if you accept it, then eugenics becomes the logical response to it, and Hitler kinda gave a bad name to eugenics, so, we had to jettison the concept of degeneracy, too. But really, "Confederacy" and "Degeneracy," they are too close for coincidence.
Not only will Judge Littlejohn allow the hero attorney to purge himself of contempt by standing up and reciting the Pledge in his prison stripes in open court, but if he does it while performing the Bellamy salute, he gets a free FOP card to show the next time he's pulled over.
Check out the comments from the Smoking Gun – they're the usual collection of redneck comedy gold with a tinge of prison-rape fascination thrown in for good measure. ONLY SOSHAILST MUSLINS REFUZE TO SAY TEH PLEDG! DISBAR HIM IN ALL OF MURRICA!
(I like the "kingdom of the judge" comment. I don't think that defense worked for the Oklahoma Penis Pump Judge.)
Submitted by POST87 on Thu, 2010-10-07 10:48.
Way to go judge. Can you cite that liberal idiot brossow too? Get some decency back into the court system; all the judge asks is to respect the nation that provides your security to allow you to have free speech.
Submitted by TxBigfoot on Thu, 2010-10-07 11:26.
you socialist morons forget one thing you are ordered to stand when the judge/Jury enters the room and you are not allowed to sit until told. This moron did not despite the pledge issue. So you guys can now shut up.
Submitted by JimmmyTheKnife on Thu, 2010-10-07 11:35.
Everyone knows that there IS NO freedom of expression within a court of law. What do you think ‘contempt of court’ is all about? This is a given. It is a veritable ‘kingdom of the judge’ in there – – and I think that’s fine.
Submitted by SayCheez on Thu, 2010-10-07 11:48.
I hope ol’ Danny boy received a 5 hours worth of jail “hospitality,” maybe, next time this POS will recite the pledge…all defense and aclu lawyers need to spend some time behind bars.
Submitted by Chuck D. on Thu, 2010-10-07 10:48.
Hooray for a patriotic judge. Lampley should lose his license to practice in America. Let him go to another country he wishes to practice law…maybe Sharia law is to his liking.
Submitted by tpp on Thu, 2010-10-07 11:20.
There is NO freedom of speech in a court of law.
Submitted by Thompson1928 on Thu, 2010-10-07 11:21.
Any day a judge puts a lawyer in jail is a good day!
Submitted by Thompson1928
–
Fred??
Fuck freedom! Apparently it's over-rated.
"Any day a judge puts a lawyer in jail is a good day!"
He does realize that a judge is a lawyer too, right?
Oh yeah, thank Jeebus for the cutting, acerbic and high-brow wit of "SayCheez" for referencing traditional Irish folk songs for…some good reason that has yet to be disclosed. I'm sure that he wishes he wasn't privy to that good reason, and that information will be released when it is deemed appropriate.
Is he a Dickens character? Talmadge Littlejohn: A Judge for the Blurst of Times.
What a fucking lunatic.
And Fox News starts to lionize this judge in 5, 4, 3, …
And this is why it is helpful to have judges who also happen to have attended law school.
It is also nice if their family tree has a couple branches.
Ow! What the fuck is up? Why do my balls hurt every time the constitution gets kicked in the crotch?
Actual stripes? So Nineteenth Century!
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the main reason he didn't recite the pledge was that it was a gold-tassled flag, which means he would have actually been pledging allegience to the secret military dictatorship that exists only inside our court system. Good call there, sir: Basil Marsceaux.com salutes you!
I'm sure this judicial wizard was wearing a robe of some kind during that courtroom lynching.
I hope the lawyer is not a bigger man than the judge as the wrongful imprisonment lawsuit would be quite lulzy.
Judge Littlejohn is running for re-election in November–unopposed. Is it too late to conduct a write in campaign for Danny Lampley?
The "Pledge of Allegience"? Is that an eBay knockoff, like my gold Rorex?
America America ueber alles ueber alles in der welt!
Talmadge LITTLEJOHN?!!! Man his parents hated him.
Well, on the positive side, that prison shirt has a certain je ne sais quoi about it, I have to say. At least it's a bit fashion forward, more interesting than your average orange prison jumpsuit. I especially like the detail around the V-neck juxtaposed with the horizontal stripe of the front. Really, who makes their togs?
Mistah Lampley, Ahhh recite the pledge in tha original here, so ya can leave out that part abaht "and tha Constitution fah which it stands" That wasn't in theah until tha ACLU snuck it in theah in Ah believe 1953.
Judge Talmadge Littlejohn…when he was in private practice, wasn't his partner Manmountain Dense, Esq., of Littlejohn & Dense, S.C.? Trivial fact, I Think Hunter S. Thompson served with Dense in the Air Force….
Court o' flaw.
Judge Littlejohn was about to saddle Lampley with ANOTHER Charge of Contempt for not respectfully fellating the gold fringe on the courtroom's flag, but luckily, The Digital Underground and The Ghost of Tupac Shakur showed up just in time…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnm0FILNb5M
Like ZOINKS, Talmadge!
How many years in jail would you get if you made fart sounds with your hand under your armpit during the pledge? Just like in fifth grade?
Let's flip a coin. Heads, First Amendment applies only to me if I want to picket the funerals of American soldiers. Tails, First Amendment…still only applies to me, but I'm gonna be super dicky about it.
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