SHARE

Wingnut Photoshop is the best Photoshop.Some wingnut found out Campbell’s Soup in Canada is now certified halal and became very angry that Sharia law was being imposed on his chicken-noodle soup, as we briefly mentioned yesterday. Suddenly, there is now a Facebook page full of thousands of wingnuts “protesting” this, or whatever it is you call idiots trying to type xenophobic comments in correct English into a box on Facebook. Such as, “No is no such thing as Peachful Muslims.” Peachful, right. Here’s another good one! “There were no NAZI bagesl during WWII and there should darn well not be any American soup company going halal. To hell wtih Campbell’s!” The Muslims want us to eat their food, but we won’t do it! We won’t eat any food at all! HAHA! Take that, Muslims!

NO! SOMEBODY SAVE THAT CAT FROM HER!
Haha, jk you guys, our president is less human than even a Muslim.

Adventures in good parenting.
This woman will starve her children to teach those Muslims a lesson about wanting to have some information on a food label.

Everyone in the world has to pick a side between those two religions! Even our soup!
Putting a little icon on a food label is akin to the Holocaust, or at least it will be pretty soon.

Sure thing, crazy lady. Let me go shoot myself in the head in the stock room.
Don’t give them your address! The soup people will send a terrorist to your house and turn it into a mosk!

WorldNetDaily also did an article on this, because obviously cans of soup will soon be bombs, and we have to be prepared. And WND needed an answer VERY SWIFTLY on why our soup is now Muslin.

A WND call to Campbell’s Canada requesting comment was referred to a U.S. office that was closed. A security guard told WND there was no one who could be reached to comment tonight.

WND also has a fun poll you can vote in! Here are some of the options:

It makes no difference – Campbell’s priced itself out of our family’s budget a long time ago

Campbell’s is selling the soup that will be used to destroy us

Andy Warhol is turning over in his grave

For some reason, this creeps me out

M’mmm, m’mmm, bad

People actually spend their lives just hating things, we guess. [WND/Facebook]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Lucidamente1

    I thought chicken soup was Jewish penicillin.

  • Gopherit

    It's so nice to see these right wing freaks drop their inherent anti-semitism for hatred of another group.

    • Ducksworthy

      Technically I think it's still anti-semitism. The Arabs are descendants of Ishmael.

      • TanzbodenKoenig

        Well that just makes the transition easier then

        • Ducksworthy

          Yes, Consistency really is the hobgoblin of little teeny minds.

    • doloras

      The scary thing is, the arguments they make against halal food are exactly those which are made against kosher food by anti-semites.

      On a lulzier note, Muslins are authorised to eat kosher meat if there's no halal meat around, since "it's all the same God". Jews don't return the favour, sadly.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Jews don't return the favour, sadly.

        No reach-around from the Jews? Get Rick Sanchez on the horn now!

      • Depends on the Rabbi but some progressive ones are saying its ok.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Nah, today's modern wingnut loves the Jews and the Israelis — it's how their televangelists make money. But they don't love 'em in a "respect as a human being," faggy kind of way. More like a Jim Crow era Southern belle noting how "articulate" her servants are: "Why, look at these little Jewsies, all snug and pleasant in their gated, completely segregated country. Why they're a credit to their race: so polite and not at all savage."

      • Gopherit

        I think you are confusing love and need. Modern Christian rightwingers need Jews for the final battle at Armageddon. These assholes want and feel entitled to their Armageddon NOW. While I'm okay with these "christians" all being raptured, they can take their battle of armageddon and shove it up capitalist Jesus' ass.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Campbell’s priced itself out of our family’s budget a long time ago

    Oh fucking please…if you're that broke you're already living in a cardboard box behind the 7-11 subsiding off of half-eaten twinkies.

    • natoslug

      DONT JUDGE ME!!!! We were so poor, we could only dream of half-eaten twinkies. . .

      • DashboardBuddha

        Oh yeah…well we were so poor there was 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!

        • natoslug

          Oh yeah . . . well WE were so poor that there were 300 of us living in a matchbox. Floating in a cesspool. We couldn't afford the road!

          • DashboardBuddha

            Oh please…we had to get up before the crack of dawn and lick the road clean with our tongues!

          • GunTotingProgressive

            And then our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah…

          • DashboardBuddha

            Try telling that to the young people today and they won't believe ya.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Nope, no they won't.

            I don't miss the 25 hour workdays, though.

          • anniegetyourfun

            Luxury! We weren't able to afford tongues, so we had to use our genitals.

          • TheGyrus

            You got to keep your genitals? We had to burn ours for heat.

          • DustBowlBlues

            Maybe it's because I have worked my ass off for 6+ hours, but this absurd exchange had laughing more and more loudly with each reply. The world sucks, except on the wonkett.

  • Doglessliberal

    I truly hate these people. I hope they get salmonella and die from eating food produced in dirty, uncertified kitchens.

    • fatoots

      I agree. Someone seems to be calling one of the women out on it, but not strongly enough. And I refuse to "like" it just so I can post shit at them.

  • Sassomatic

    Campbell's soup will only be fed to Terror Babies.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      terror ANCHOR babies, gaining strength from our FREEDOM soup that they will then use to destroy us by crashing mosques into Burlington Coat Factories

  • CapnFatback

    No such thing as Peachful Muslims? Obviously they've never been to an Atlanta mosque.

    • the_onceler

      Mosque in Atlanta?? Near the site of the Olympic bombing– the ground zero of 1996? Muslims must refudiate Eric Rudolf's actions, even though he was a Christian.

      • HOFAH

        Even better, one of the mosques is two blocks away from IKEA!!! You can see this mosque from the parking lot. Won't somebody think of the pressboard?

        NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!

        • the_onceler

          Hmm, I see a connection. A couple of years ago I was leaving the Dubai Airport and the first thing I saw was an IKEA. An IKEA in a Muslim country. Now, another piece of evidence for the chalkboard– a mosque near an IKEA. I think it's clear that IKEA is a plot to bring sharia law to America through cheaply made, yet stylish furniture. Plus IKEA is from Sweden so they are gay and socialist.

          • mayor_quimby

            That Atlanta Mosque is also near GA Tech, a school just crawling with mooslem engineering students, like a certain young Bin Laden. And there was that whole prosecution of a GA Tech student for taking pictures of the pencil-tip building and the Varsity – shit, we may be too late! And it is kind of in midtown, which you know, super gay.
            I'm gonna need a bigger chalkboard!

          • finallyhappy

            yes, I was there- I think there were gay and / or muslim people at the Flying Biscuit when I was there. There were definitely people of color there. I added the Old Jewish lady component to the mix. Altogether that is a place where there were no teabaggers.

  • JMPEsq

    Andy Warhol is turning over in his grave, because if there's one thing he stood for it was irrational hatred of religious minorities; either that or ironic art.

    • HELisforHEL

      …do those idiots even know who Andy Warhol was?

      • undeadgoat

        Campbell's Soup American Icon Andy Warhol Campbell's Only Kind of Soup in Existence No More Soup Poor Andy Warhol!!!!

        Might be what they think?

      • drrty_martini

        Polish Catholic homos get a pass now, I guess.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Well, the Ramadan Gumbo does leave alot to be desired.

  • Ducksworthy

    What's the scary photoshop steam say, Jihad? Is this the soup Jihad the bible warns us of?

    • the_onceler

      It says halal.

    • doloras

      It says "halal", surprisingly enough. "Jihad" is spelt like this: جهاد

      • Krugmanic Depressive

        Servicey!

    • zhubajie

      It says "halal."

    • The Steam says "Halal" ("lawful" or "permitted,")

      • Is it the Noahic laws that say that eating human flesh is forbidden? I like the fact they had to spell that out or we would be over run by cannibalistic hordes of Jews, Christians and Muslims.

    • mayor_quimby

      How the fuck has nobody thrown in a Soup Nazi joke? Am I missing a thread here?

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Not only does Cambell's support these muslin bastards at home, I bet they support those troops that are over there fighting and dying in Iraq and Afghanistan trying to bring democracy to those bastards too.

  • Gopherit

    Quick, someone needs to tell Rick Sanchez. Maybe he can get a job at Campbells.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Now they can't make their disgusting Cream-of-Shit Casseroles and will most likely starve.

  • Rambone

    Talk about a zero-credibility boycott.

    As if any of these tea'tards could afford Progresso.

  • VaWyo

    Somebody alert Bloomberg. People should not be allowed to use foodstamps to buy muslin soup or softdrinks.

  • It's in Canada City, Wuld Nut Daily retards.

    It might be shocking to you, but we have different rules up here.

    • Only because us Americans — the greatest people who have ever lived — let you, for now.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Who cares? It's not like these fat slobs eat anything that doesn't have bacon in it anyway.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I'll still buy this Mooslim Nazi soup – just not from Target. I'm still boycotting them.

  • GuyClinch

    Surprised at that post by Timothy Egan; I just read his column on the NY Times site and he comes across as rather sane there.

    Also, these soup-freak assclowns are causing me to feel hate, and I gotta say I don't like it. Not one bit.

  • Ducksworthy

    Can't one of Wonkette's HTML geniuses figure out a way to give these idiots herpes or actually any painful genital rash would do when they post on these sites. OK?

  • imissopus

    I think Campbells soup is all Obama eats…hah, no he doesnt, he instead uses taxpayer money…then goes on Vacation with the extra cash!

    Wait, so instead of eating Campbells soup, Obama eats taxpayer money for nutritional purposes? Or he uses it as a laxative instead of Campbells soup? What is the crazy lady saying?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      "I AM IDIOT HEER MEE RORE"

      rough translation into wangnut spelling

    • anniegetyourfun

      I'm of the opinion that anyone who capitalizes their nouns randomly must be fond of Nazis. Otherwise they wouldn't be using German spelling rules.

      • Maybe the Nazis were just Teabaggers who somehow obtained time travel technology.

        • HistoriCat

          Gotta admit, it would explain a whole lot.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Would it really be all that bad if these people starved themselves in protest? I know it'd be impossible for most of them to stick to an under 7,000-calories-a-day diet, but I can dream.

    • I watched one do the fat sweats through eating the entirety of a large meatlover's pizza in less time than it took me to eat half of my small anchovy pizza. He was eating the curled up slices so ravenously I began imagining him wrapping sausages like bratwurst up in each slice so he could savor the meal. Standing behind him in line to pay, I got the whole 'I can't reach all the folds of fat on my body when I shower' stale BO aroma mixed with baby powder — which I am convinced he used instead of toilet paper — he did not tip. Parking lot about 5 minutes later, he is talking on his cell phone in his yellow H2 with a McCain 2008 bumper sticker, the pit stain on his raised arm is a mesmerizing yellow color.

  • Troubledog

    Rick Sanchez just called Facebook and explained what the "Circle-U" logo means.

  • Sepatown!

    Campbells also pulled its ads off of Glenn Beck's Doom Hour. Wonder if that is playing into this Sharia- Da Vinci Code-conspiracy idiocy.

  • SexySmurf

    How am I suppose to eat 10,000% of my daily recommended allowance of sodium knowing some Muslin somewhere might be too?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Yes, we'll really miss our tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich night because I'm so astoundingly lazy and incompetent that not only can I not make my own tomato soup, but I can't even buy another brand of CANNED tomato soup to serve to my mewling kids along with our Kraft individually-wrapped American cheese food slices on factory white bread pan-fried in Country Crock.

    • harobedyelsnit

      Mmmmm, sounds good.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      I know I read this site too much when I read the last line as "fried in Country Cock". It took a second pass before I figured out that mistake.

  • davitydave

    needz moar pork

    • davitydave

      and gin

  • CapnFatback

    Whee, it's like panning for golden nuggets of shame. From the FB page:

    Just another reason for me not to buy their products. With the new low sodium soups they are putting out their soup tastes like shit. I used to eat their soup as part of a staple to my diet. But now it tastes like crap, gives me the squirts, and they are supporting the Muslims. Screw them an the horse they road in on.

    Forget soup as "part of a staple to my diet"; it's time to think about getting a staple to the stomach.

    • Fare la Volpe

      If John Q. Wingnuts is getting the squirts, I don't think that horse wants to be anywhere near him.

      • Maybe its the time travelling talking horse of Caligula and is into that sort of thing.

  • jus_wonderin

    I think someone needs to tell them they were already eating Terror Soup before Campbell's printed a secondary label for a targeted market. I bet they suicide themselves or heave up the Vegetable Beef. Tards!

  • I'm far less concerned by Muslin soup than I am by the fact that every one of these comments is 'liked' by exactly 2 people… Not 1, not 3… This HAS to prove the whole 'End of Days' thing, amiright?

    • JMPEsq

      I'd give you a thumbs up, but you are already at two and must stay there.

      • GunTotingProgressive

        Well, it was at three when I got here, so I gave it a thumbs-down. Nothing personal.

  • edgydrifter

    Hey, patriots! You know what the mooslims really hate? Bacon! Do your duty to God and country by eating nothing but bacon from now on. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, 4th meal, midnight snackies–ALL BACON ALL THE TIME. They also don't dig alcohol, so you should try to be full-blown shitfaced from dawn to dusk. We can do this!! A pound of bacon and a pint of Jack every blessed meal, for freedom!!!

    • JMPEsq

      But that's already the diet of your average wingnut.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Hmmm, Bacon Schnapps!
      Best of both worlds.

      • Trinket

        I've tried that Bakon vodka. It tastes like someone steeped a jar of Bac-Os in a vat of rubbing alcohol.

    • anniegetyourfun

      Muslims are also rather intolerant of gay sex.

      Jump on it, murka! And I mean that both figuratively and literally.

    • Trinket

      I already do this.

    • LowProfileinGA
  • Qatarded

    "Kate" should definitely replace her tomato soup with "Cream of Sum Yung Guy".

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I am not so surprised that the rightards have found a new product to put the hate on for reasons of astounding stupidity.
    I am surprised they have soup in Canada.

  • lumpenprole

    "I also went into my local walmart and albertsons and spoke with the store managers to advise them the ramifications …"

    Customer service is a tough gig. I'm pretty sure that Walmart employees aren't allowed to point, laugh, wipe away tears and walk away chuckling.

    • GOPCrusher

      Yeah, I'm sure the board meetings at WalMart and Albertson's are about nothing but how are they going to stay afloat after making the tragic decision to sell Campbell's Soup.

    • PresBeeblebrox

      Who wrote these comments, Zero Wing translators?

      Somebody set up us the bomb! Move all "ZIG".

      • jqheywood

        Ha! All your base belong to us!

        • DoktorZoom

          All your soup base are belong to us!

  • mumbly_joe

    Err, where I'm from, halal food is actually really, really fucking good. I know these terrible slobs visit New York, because they harrass our brown people and tell us which people are allowed to stay in their own buildings, which means they've definitely frequented our triumphalist Halal Victory Carts and/or restaurants and/or hookah bars. So, umm, seriously, shut up. Just fucking shut up, you terrible, terrible people.

    • Limeylizzie

      Oh man, MumblyJoe, how delicious are the Sharia Snacks from the Halal Carts, we have one about a block away and it is truly amazing and then we also have a couple of nice Muslins operating the fruit cart next to it, luckily Harlem is pretty Teatard free, so our food supply is safe.

      • mumbly_joe

        Ha, I'm from Harlem too. Well, the Spanish version, at least, not that teatards appreciate the difference between the different varieties of brown. I suspect that their heads would generally asplode the instant they saw one of our muslin negroe ladies decked out in a niqab, but I also suspect that their travel guides typically steer them clear of anything above of 90th street.

        I generally heart the various arab and persian vendors, if for no other reason than they try to chat with me in what they assume must be our shared tongue.

        It's a massive improvement over when I visited Ashville, NC for a wedding, and got stared at for the entire week.

        • Chet Kincaid

          Well, technically, Manhattan is not "on" America. I would suggest taking your passports with you when visit the mainland, in case they finally decide to tighten up security. After the partition, it will be like Berlin post-WWII, with the American part of the island being a wall around "9/11."

        • Limeylizzie

          Whereabouts in Harlem are you? I am just north of Central Park on 112th and Malcolm X aka Lenox Avenue. Yes, I too am very fond of all the Arab/Musliny/Iranian vendors, right after 9/11 I was in my local bodega run by these lovely Arabs and they held my hands and we all wept right in the middle of the store. I think that's why these ignorant freaks make me so angry with all their hatred, I think the only Arab they have ever seen is Osama, it would be as if the only white person any people of colour knew was Hitler. Makes no sense at all.

          • mumbly_joe

            I'm from down on 104th, just east of 3rd. Our local bodegas are definitely all either muslin-run or hispanic-run also, and there's also a delightful Yemeni place not too far down the block from me. I was still up in the 'burbs where I was one of like 5 non-white kids when 9/11 happened, but I have so many co-workers and friends and neighbors from all different backgrounds that it frankly boggles me that people wouldn't get that this is pretty much how New York works, and nobody's trying to overthrow the gov'mint or anything.

      • Chet Kincaid

        I'm picturing the musical montage opening of the Limey Lizzie Show, as you breezily dart from cart to cart, laughing with the vendors, then freeze-frame after you take off your Keffiyeh and toss it high into the air…you're gonna make it after all!

        • Limeylizzie

          Oh Chet Kincaid, you are totally my pretend boyfriend on Wonkette.

          • Chet Kincaid

            Oh Lizzie, it's nice to hear from you! I was afraid you were somehow bored/offended. Something odd is afoot with Intensedebate responses to stuff from weeks ago coming through to me today.

          • Limeylizzie

            Chet Kincaid, I thought you had found another , more Polly-like gal! Today, I have also received many reponses from months ago also. I hope this gets to you in a timely fashion.

          • Chet Kincaid

            Today we are all Mina, receiving long-delayed letters from Jonathan in Transylvania. (Special Halloween-themed comment!)

          • Limeylizzie

            Then who, is Renfield?

          • Chet Kincaid

            Stowell-Rebel, and the many voices in his head? They all serve "The Master Who Needs No Peer Review."

            The Dracula novel was Victorian Romance for teenage boys. I was particularly enchanted by the scene with Keanu and the Three Brides in Coppola's version.

          • Limeylizzie

            For teenage girls it was Jane Eyre, that Mr Rochester was all damaged , dark and troubled. Delicious.

          • Limeylizzie

            Chet Kincaid, I thought you had found another , more Polly-like gal! Today, I have also received many reponses from months ago also. I hope this gets to you in a timely fashion.

    • PresBeeblebrox

      The dumbfucks also don't know, or don't care, that Jooz, who they love because they're Proto-Christians, can buy halal food, which they hate because dirty Muslins eat it, and use it as kosher, because halal and kosher rules are pretty damn close. Isaac, Ishmael, also.

      • mumbly_joe

        I thought they loved the Jooz because they're supposed to be the catalyst of the conflict in the holy land that brings about the end of the world and also kills off all the ones that don't convert to the One True Faith. I mean, I can see how they wouldn't exactly lead off with that particular pitch, but yeah.

    • doloras

      The secret is that halal food has all the blood drained out of it, so it's deliciously low-fat and good for you.

      • mumbly_joe

        And here I thought it was the blood of Christian children that made it taste so good. Then again, Christian children really eat nothing but Double-Whoppers every day, and I'm pretty sure that large amounts of rendered beef fat isn't actually all that healthy.

  • Groupshrug

    For now on, I'm only spelling out numbers because our numeral system is Arabic.

    • edgydrifter

      Well played, sir, well played.

    • doloras

      Or switching to indigenous European-Christian numerals! Except that XCIX out of C wingnuts wouldn't have a clue how to do those.

    • zhubajie

      I've been waiting for teatards to reject Arabic numerals.

      • SarcasticNymph

        They have. Witness any Fox News pie chart graphic.

        • zhubajie

          The last time I saw Fox was about 7 years ago, in the airport, goingback to China. My Indiana Congressman had just been arrested forcarrying a concealed weapon in an airport! He was a Rep and a gun-nut,of course.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    The cognitive abilities of these scholars are surpassed only by their spelling accuracy.

  • glamourdammerung

    Congratulations Muslims on reaching Jewish levels of defamation! Soon, there will be rumors about how you all own all the media and drink the blood of Christian babies in no time!

  • Troubledog

    I guess Sarah and Todd won't be denting up their stainless-steel refrigerator by throwing cans of Campbell's soup at each other any more.

  • mumbly_joe

    MUSLINS EAT SOUP IN PLACES OF VICTORY AND CONQUEST. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE

    • They've been doing for centuries!

    • mayor_quimby

      so that's why Souper Jenny is Buckhead? (I'm keeping it souper local for ATLiens today.)
      -1 me for saying ATLiens…

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    I bet George Soros and his SEIU thugs are behind all of this

  • SayItWithWookies

    Now if we could just get s'mores and Double Downs declared halal we could solve the obesity problem in about six months.

    • Tim

      I'm pretty sure both already are, technically, but it won't work since bacon is already added to the double down most of the time anyway, right? I would not be surprised f bacon was also added to s'mores.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      You think a wingnut would actually live by the rules he declares (barks/wheezes)? Perhaps you have missed the news about recently diagnosed Hypocrisy Herpes sufferer Lou Dobbs.

  • PhilippePetain

    From the Facebook page:

    "Donna Estrem The birthdate for white Europeans is 1.7. something like that. The birthdate for muslims is 8. Something. 8 to 1. The numbers are shocking!"

    Seriously. these are the people the Democrats are losing to. 8. Something. Huh?

    • JMPEsq

      As a white European, my birthdate is not 1.7, although I do have a cousin who was born then.

      • PhilippePetain

        They're just so, so stupid. It's almost unbelievable, really.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Is she saying birthrate? Does…does she even know what an 8 means for a birthrate? That's squirting out a mewling lump every…like…8 seconds or something. 8 to 1!! Numbers, so shocking, also too!

      • PhilippePetain

        One of the more literate fucktards had to correct her, and was kind enough to offer that she may have had her spellcheck auto-correcting it to "birthdate"…. becaause that's how… spellcheck works…?

        • Fare la Volpe

          If spellcheck did auto-correct like that, just imagine what completely illiterate gobbledyshit she was actually typing that could lead the poor program to this cock-up.

          I can just imagine the sanctimonious paper clip: "It seems you're functionally retarded. Would you like me to dickslap you?"

          • HELisforHEL

            If Mr. Paperclip could do that, I might stop hating him.

    • Arithmetic is real hard sometimes. That's why Jesus gave us 8.Something to make it easier.

    • HistoriCat

      Yes. It's like a flashback to the 80s. I'm too lazy to search for the clip but it reminds me of the SNL skit of the debate between Bush and Dukakis:
      "Stay the course. Keep on target. A thousand points of light."
      "Governor Dukakis – your rebuttal?"
      "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!"

  • edgydrifter

    I wonder if these dumbfucks know where their numbers come from? Enjoy balancing your checkbook (ha!) with Roman numerals.

    OH NO! Math is terrorisms! IX-XI NEVER FORGET!!

  • CapnFatback

    Last one, I promise:

    Please go to the fb group Tea Party Patriots. I posted this link on the Tea Party Patriots fb page and I was personally attacked … being called a bigot, etc. People believing islam is the Religion of Peace. I cannot fight this battle myself.

    Stupid bleeding-heart Tea Party Patriots!

  • notreelyhelping

    *sniff* The trailer park will never be the same.

  • natoslug

    Fuckin' soup nazis!

    • MistaEko

      Good to know I wasn't the only one who read "No soup for us!" and wondered how the hell they missed the irony.

  • JackDempsey1

    The conspiracy isn't the wickedly delicious soup.
    The conspiracy is the expanding distribution of Chinese-made dribble bowls.
    hothothothothot.

  • JMPEsq

    Someone has got to be a special kind of unhinged bigot when they go beyond hating a given minority to hating anyone who is not a bigot towards that minority, even to the point of turning against their beloved free market; it's like those Christian groups that boycotted Disney for not stopping gay organizations from visiting Disneyworld.

  • ph7

    Oh boy, just randomly select a few of the profiles of those who joined the Facebook page, and explore. I promise you won't be disappointed.

  • waitforsugar

    After about a year or so without eating they will finally deplete their abundant stock of back up fat and wither away.

  • HipHop0Potamus

    Definitely voting for "How are they going to make the pork and beans halal?"

    • schvitzatura

      TVP Jihadists!

  • succalina

    Now the tea-tards will make tomato soup with ketchup and water.

  • Tim

    Aren't Slim Jims and aerosol cheese also halal?

  • emberglance

    If you enjoy this type of debate, here's a link to a 2006 Free Republic conversation regarding the news that McDonalds in Detroit had started serving halal Chicken McNuggets for the growing population of Muslim customers in the city.
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1682717/

    Sample thought: "wow.. lets just give them their own McDonalds while we're at it"

  • Eve8Apples

    I poured my can of Alphabet Soup into a bowl and it spelled out "DEATH TO AMERICA" and "ALLAH IS GREAT" oh noooooes!

  • emberglance

    "From now on, we must spell out numbers, because the digits we usually use are Muslim. DON'T LET THE JIHADISTS WIN!"

    wait… that's not a real comment, surely? Geno Snyder of Portland, OR, I accuse you of shitstirring.

    • HELisforHEL

      Geno, spill it–we know you're here.

  • Guppy06

    Y'know, I actually read TFA when you first mentioned it, and they used to have a valid point: it wasn't that it was halal, but who did the certifying. But then the teatards took it and ran with it.

    The $24,000 Dollar Question: have any of these boycotters tried boycotting petroleum? I've got this crazy, outlandish conspiracy theory the teatards should try on for size: the Saudis did 9/11.

    • mumbly_joe

      Errm right, because there was a tenuous 7-degrees-esque link to Hamas.

      Which is a lot less surprising when you consider that, for good or bad (and let's face it: for bad, mostly), they're the ruling party of a good chunk of the Palestinian territories, and also that the line between "terrorist group" and "state actor" has historically been pretty blurry on both sides of that conflict, going all the way back to the pre-state period.

      • Guppy06

        Hey, it's still a more legitimate reason than what they usually toss around. Usually their vitriol is targeted at "All Muslims and some Sikhs who look Muslim to us." Of course, that's what it naturally degenerated to, but it almost looked like improvement for about four seconds.

        If the libtards can boycott Target and Best Buy for being 3-4 degrees away from "Publicly execute all gays," I was willing to give them some credit if they could just manage to stick to the script on their TelePrompTers.

        • mumbly_joe

          Well, for one, I don't think that's a fair comparison. Boycotting Target because Target donated a large sum to a virulently anti-gay candidate (who isn't particularly reticent about those views, either- the guy's views are hardly at question) is a pretty clear connection, and targeted financial support for a particular political candidate is hardly "3-4 degrees" removed from that candidates views.

          Meanwhile, though, here we're talking about some people boycotting Cambell's because they're certified halal, which itself is a completely apolitical thing, but the certification done by ISNA, who also did unrelated charity work to build hospitals and schools and the like with several other groups, and unbeknownst ot them, some of the charities ended up being Hamas-affiliated. Kinda clear as mud, right there, and that all right there is also the interpretation that's most charitable to the hatesacks like Gellar and Gaffney who constantly denounce groups like ISNA and CAIR.

          A comparable situation would be if Target hired a company to do product quality assurance, and that company's owner had previously donated money to a children's hospital, and that children's hospital happened to be founded by the Mafia. This wouldn't make Target part of the Mafia, or even complicit with the Mafia under any reasonable standard.

        • mumbly_joe

          And as an aside, it's always struck me as absurd and hypocritical that the faintest hint of an association with another group with an association with Hamas is enough to shatter a Muslim group's credibility, when Israel's been giving out medals of honor to ex-Lehi and ex-Irgun for the past 20 years or so without anyone giving it a second thought.

          I guess it's just very true what they say, about history being written by the victors, and the only difference between terrorists and freedom fighters.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Who cares who certified it? It's fucking soup. If Osama BinBomber does the certifyin' it's still just soup. Except, if they could get him to accept a gig certifying soup as halal, then that would be a great way to trick him and catch him.

      Oh, shit. I buy food at a middle eastern grocery in Stillwater, OK. Some of it may be certified by suiciders just before they died! Damn. Just when I was about to make lamb vindaloo. Quick–Can someone fill me in on the approval process for Baklava? I hope I don't have to give up vegetable soup AND baklava, because that's asking too much.

  • ThePrincessPat

    I wish that I worked at Campbells Customer Service right now – they must be having lots of lulz today…

    Just posted on Facebook, now – a letter that everyone can cut/paste, along with the link to the Campbells feedback page. Letter is full of fun!

    "To Whom It May Concern:I am writing to inform you and your company Campbell’s is now a target of a worldwide boycott campaign for the certification of their products as halal as well as supporting the Muslim Brotherhood. I find the practice of ritual slaughter objectionable. Secondly, I feel that, to serve Halal products at the exclusion of all others discriminates against non-Muslim customers. This is directed at your support of the anti-American business choices it is unacceptable and will be challenged by freedom loving Americans. As a proud and patriotic American, I find this kind of rhetoric blatantly un-American and herby challenge Campbell’s as you have been Blacklisted on our website and will remain there until the Halal line is halted. After halting your support for Islam, Humas, shuria law, and jihad terrorists you may request removal from the Blacklist by emailing us. Include a letter of your intent and a request to be removed from the Blacklist. We will then post your letter at the website, and move your company from the Blacklist of boycotted company’s, to the White-list of Recommended Business’s. Apart from this, I have no other issue with Campbell’s—in fact, I think you provide a quality product, and look forward to your reply, and a time when I can partake in soup again."

    • PresBeeblebrox

      Please tell me you made this up and that this isn't real. My ability to speak Teatard is a little rusty – Rosetta Stone hasn't released a Teatard Learning Series yet.

      • PsycWench

        It's real. Typos, random caps and all that. I'm sure Campbell's is anxious to be on the White-list of Recommended Business's.

        • PresBeeblebrox

          I wonder if the fucknuts refuse to eat kosher-certified foodstuffs. After all, serving kosher food at the exclusion of others discriminates against non-Jew customers.

          And…. mmmm, I could go for some Humas and falafel on pita, with a nice yogurt sauce on the side.

          • fatoots

            No see the answer to that was, "The Jews aren't trying to kill us".

    • notreelyhelping

      Shouldn't that be: "After halting your support for Islam, Hummus…."

    • DixonBainbridge

      Humas? It's like hummus but they send the chickpeas to a madrasash and make the tahini with burnt flags.

    • Troubledog

      No Humas with my shuria? The fuck??

  • An_Outhouse

    "From now on, we must spell out numbers, because the digits we usually use are Muslim. DON'T LET THE JIHADISTS WIN!"

    Ha ha ha ha.

  • Extemporanus

    Bust out yer crayons & cardboard, Souptards! I gots some sign idears for ya:

    "OSAMA bin LADLE served up 9/11!"

    "The CHURCH has a SOUP LINE, and the COSTCO has a LYIN' SOUP!"

    "YES, we CAN? HALAL NO we CAN'T!"

    "NO BISK AT GROUN ZERO!"

    "We don't want the SMOKING GUN to be a CREAM OF MUSHROOM CLOUD!"

    "Celebrate RAMENDAN? UIGHUR, please!"

    "FORK YOU SOOP! HUR DUR DUR!!"

    Et-fucking-cetera…

    • CapnFatback

      And let us not forget the erstwhile "Campbell's POOP."

    • "UIGHUR, please!"

      That's fucking phenomenal.

      Also "cream of mushroom cloud".

      The Purest Gold.

      • Extemporanus

        Thanks, wig-er!

  • Jerri

    I love it when wingnuts hate capitalism. It warms the cockles of my cold, black heart.

    • lumpenprole

      It gives my nymphs sargasms.

  • PalinPussyPower

    This is a plot to bring down NOBAMACARE. That shit's got 2000 mg of sodium a serving. If these wingnuts stop eating Campbells slop and lower their blood pressure, they're gonna survive that extra three or four weeks before congestive heart failure kicks in and bankrupt our healthcare system.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Hence, my stick it to the muslins by eating pork rinds campaign. They don't leave your fingers yellow like Cheetos, either. Ignore all the bullshit from Paula Dean about southern food.

      Pork Rinds, Moon Pie and RC Cola. Now that's real old-fashioned southern food.

  • BornInATrailer

    Sorry, I need a new word to describe the hilarious lunacy surrounding GZ Mosk, the soup and all other forms of "creeping sharia." And that word is "halol."

    Example:
    "Did you hear about those Egyptian Coptic Christians that went to protest the GZ mosque? The other protesters were all over them because they assumed they were Muslims, being brown-ish. That shit is halol!"

    Use it. It is my gift to you, Wonketeers.

  • GOPCrusher

    The only shocking development, is that Sarah Palin has not weighed in on this issue. I give her another 36 hours to formulate her thoughts and post them to Facebook.

    • BadassKitty

      It will take her ALL MORNING to type it up so don't expect it before noon Friday.

      • HELisforHEL

        Then we'll all be having word salad for lunch again?

    • tribbzthesquidz

      In the form of a sonnet…

  • bumfug

    Soup does a mutilated, terrorized body good!

  • Boycotting Campbells will make it more difficult for the teatards to insure their kids get 1000% of the MDR of salt every day.

    Have to double up on the Cheetos.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Better yet: All the sodium, and stick to the muslins at the same time. Pork Rinds!

      Quick–someone start a "pork rinds to fight muslins" facebook page and see how high we can get sales of pork rinds. A few wingers might finally cardiac themselves out of the way of the few sane people left in this fucking country.

  • Mmm…Mmmm…jihad!

  • hagajim

    I thinks I mite starve without me some supe!

  • iburl

    He's right. In fact there has NEVER been any NAZI bagesl. In fact, there has never, ever been ANY kind of bagesl, ever. Thanks a lot Nobamar!

    • DixonBainbridge

      Did Hitler take his bagesl with lox and cream cheese?

  • zhubajie

    Why don't these fools just make their own soup? It'll save them money.

    • HELisforHEL

      They wouldn't recognize a fresh vegetable if they saw one.
      They only own a frying pan and perhaps a FryDaddy.
      The Jazzy/Rascal can't fit through the doorway into the kitchen.

  • Redhead

    Are peachful muslins like peachful sweet tea? Cause that stuff's good.

  • BadassKitty

    Will someone please write an article for the WND and FOX stating that Muslims breathe oxygen? We could wipe out the whole Tea Party movement in less than 5 minutes.

  • JustPixelz

    Teach the haters a lesson BUY BUY BUY Campbell's products. Did I mention the CPB stock I own? (Down $0.33 today. Get to work people — move that soup!)

    • DustBowlBlues

      The acid test on whether the company will survive this is whether the United Methodist ladies use Campbell's soup in the delicious-as-it-is-easy scalloped potato recipe, or do it the hard way from scratch. If America hates Campbell's that much, say bye bye to the value of your stock.

  • glamourdammerung

    I hate to repeat myself, but if only President Obama would go on television and say that drinking bleach was bad. Then our long national nightmare could finally be over.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Bleach? Lye would be better.

      • glamourdammerung

        Swallowing lies just makes them whine more.

  • kvetch

    mm-mm-good. Infidel.

  • DustBowlBlues

    It sounds to me they were as much Muslin as the Chinese Vegan restaurant in Seattle that advertised itself as kosher was Jewish. By virtue of the fact they didn't serve dairy or meat, voila, accidentally kosher! Yay. Advertise it.

    It probably occurred to someone at Campbell's that their soup was accidentally Halal, so they could sell it to the Muslin market.

    Also, thanks for the comments provided, Jack or whoever did this. I love how wingers are consistent in their use of bad grammar and spelling.

    • finallyhappy

      You are correct! Their vegetarian products could be Halal so why not add the seal if they can get it. I don't buy Campbell's soup but I wll be making extra purchases of Pepperidge Farm cookies- Mint Milanos for Muslins!!!

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Incidentally, I was gonna say, the famous Jewish deli downtown here serves it up Halal. Hmm. I guess ALL those Semites are in it together against Jeeckus.

  • PsycWench

    I dropped a can of soup on my foot the other day but I didn't realize that it was a very tiny terrorist attack.

  • PsycWench

    And a link to this Wonkette post has appeared on their page of rage. Look for trolls by this time tomorrow.

  • PublicLuxury

    Well no wonder… I muzzlim neighbor dropped a terror anchor baby in her yard this morning and immediately dragged a can of Campbells from under her burka. It makes sense now…

    Good grief these people are ignorant.

  • elfgoldsackring

    How's a body sposed to remember all the places to boycott? Is McDonalds still pandering to homosexualist agenders? What can I safely put in my mouth anymore?!!!

  • AntonovBureau

    I was surprised a few weeks ago with the reaction when the normally indifferent British public found out Halal meat was being served at their Cricket grounds and Football statdiums. This is hallowed ground!
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-11375

    Oh, and the outrage wasn't just from the happy clappers but also the RSPCA who "said the form of slaughter was cruel if the animals were not stunned."

    • DustBowlBlues

      The animals aren't stunned? Then fuck the Muslins and their cruelty based lamb.

  • AntonovBureau

    Can't they just go back and say that P&G is a satanic company rather than good ol' Amway?

  • AntonovBureau

    I always thought that No Soup for You guy on Seinfield was a Muzzie. Therefore Jerry Seinfield is a Muzzie. Ergo, Jews are Muslims.

  • Tundra Grifter

    We all laughed when Michelle Malkin wrote about Rachel Ray's "terrorist scarf" in the doughnut commercial. That was just too stupid to be taken seriously, right?

    So we did nothing and now we've got this dog's breakfast trying to pass for logic.

    Sharon Angle says Detroit has been taken over by the muslins and Sure-Ree-A law – explaining all those crappy automobiles made by Government Motors, no doubt – and how our soup is muslin, too?

    Seriously – look at the sugar in some of these products. A can of Wolfgang Puck's "P;d Fashioned Country Vegetable" soup used to have 28 grams of sugar per serving – and there were two servings per can. A can of soup having twice as much sugar as a can of Pepsi? Guess it was "old fashioned" because people who ate it pretty soon didn't have any teeth left.

  • DamOTclese

    I can't stand it. Just can't STAND it!

    Where do these Christian Republican cultists get their educations? Bible school?

  • schvitzatura
  • schvitzatura

    Assuredly, Dominique's U.S. Senate Bean Soup would be an acceptable substitute, except they also make Vichyssoise, French Onion, and some other French Communard-flavored bathwater called Consommé Madrilène…

    Maybe one could balance out the Gallic-nosity with a side of Freedom Fries, with Hunt's (not Heinz, because we know that goes to support Kerry Demoncrats) catsup.

  • spooked911

    first they came for our scarves, and I said nothing because I don't wear scarves. Then they came for our soup, and I said nothing because I don't eat mass-processed over-salted soup. Then they came for…

  • From Wikipedia:

    "In Dearborn, Michigan, the home of one of the largest Muslim and Arab populations in the United States, some fast food restaurant chains such as the McDonald's Corporation have introduced halal chicken nuggets.'"

    Can we imagine a world where the right wingers boycott McDonald's?

  • Starjack

    Haven't eaten Campbells' in years (too much salt, not enough quality) but aren't most of their soups Kosher? Would that be evidence supporting the Protocols of the Elders of Zion?

    The cluelessness of bigots is certainly part of what makes them bigots, but in this case, what these islamophobic morons don't get is that anything that is kosher is halal — unless it has alcohol. (Pass on the Mad Dog, but love those Hebrew National weenies!) Muslims often look for the little K discreetly tucked away in the label.

    b.t.w…. Wonkette: Most comment sections following any story about Muslims is usually so filled with cringeworthy hate messages. It is deliciously unique to see funny, intelligent remarks in this position. You have a truly superior class of readers! MashAllah!

  • Oblios_Cap

    This is certainly good news for Progresso.

  • undeadgoat

    In the real world, where I grew up, Jews and hippies buy halal meat when they can find it, and Muslims find kosher certifications a comforting confirmation that a processed foodstuff has no pig in it. But apparently the wingnuts think that only the rabbis are qualified to inspect food-processing factories?

  • oh_hi_mark

    “There were no NAZI bagesl [sic] during WWII and there should darn well not be any American soup company going halal."

    Um, the Nazis didn't eat bagels because they were committing mass genocide against the Jews. Is that what you want us to be doing, random Facebook wingnut? I guess for you, Muslims are just infectious untermenschen that need to be "eliminated."

Previous articleBill O’Reilly Reminds Us That He’s ‘Not Yoko Ono’
Next articleHero Judge Throws Attorney In Jail For Not Reciting Pledge of Allegiance