He was a Maverick! Except, of course, he wasn’t any such thing. He had morals and convictions! Except, he never did, about anything. John McCain never did anything but squander the proud military legacy of his family and then carpetbag his way to Arizona where he smelled money and opportunity. He dumped his crippled wife for a young beer heiress. He is a creep and a fraud, and that’s all he’s ever been. Vanity Fair has just posted an article about this, in case you were wondering, Who the fuck still believes John McCain is anything beyond a craven toad?

It’s quite possible that nothing at all has changed about John McCain, a ruthless and self-centered survivor who endured five and a half years in captivity in North Vietnam, and who once told Torie Clarke that his favorite animal was the rat, because it is cunning and eats well. It’s possible to see McCain’s entire career as the story of a man who has lived in the moment, who has never stood for any overriding philosophy in any consistent way, and who has been willing to do all that it takes to get whatever it is he wants. He himself said, in the thick of his battle with Hayworth, “I’ve always done whatever’s necessary to win.” Maybe the rest of us just misunderstood.

Maybe! Or maybe the political media is just … dumb. [Vanity Fair]

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  • Troubledog

    You forgot worst pilot in the Navy, worst campaign finance reformer, worst at doing the YMCA dance (can't make three of the letters), and worst shark-jumper — to know you are going to lose, and unleash Sarah Fucking Palin as your shark-jumping move is beyond the pale.

    That chubby little party girl Meghan though, get her a couple of drinks and something slutty to wear. She can stay.

    • GunTotingProgressive

      You forgot lazy, ugly, and disrespectful.

    • glamourdammerung

      There was also that whole "singing like a bird to the Vietnamese" thing.

    • Not_So_Much

      When he dies, I hope Cindy marries the Jon Coffey actor dude from Green Mile.

  • harry_palmer

    Handing control of the Republican Party over to Sarah Palin will be his most lasting legacy. That's gotta hurt worse than anything they did to him at the Hanoi Hilton.

    • OhHellToTheNo

      As far as I am concerned, this is the comment of the year. That doesn't exist so I nominated you for every Nobel Prize next year.

  • Troubledog

    "I'm the bad boy. I've never been the bad boy."
    "You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend…"
    "Yes, yes…"
    "The bad fiance, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk…"
    "Okay, the point is made."
    "The bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen… (looks at table as George exits) the bad tipper!"
    – Jerry and George, in "The Little Kicks"

  • mumbly_joe

    I'm not sure how it's actually news that John McCain is an unbelievably craven dickwad with no actual principles forming the basis of his political identity- why, it seems like it was merely FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ago that he punted on the question of whether he official government sanction of a famous symbol of a bloody insurrection waged for the purpose of protecting and expanding the practice of owning other human beings like cattle might possibly be offensive to black people, and also citizens of the United States.

  • You're suggesting, then, that the arrogant admiral's son and fighter pilot trainee dating the stripper hasn't really changed that much?

  • JMPEsq

    Maybe "the rest of us" only refers to the other media folks, because a lot of people outside Washington were not fooled, and remember McCain as the man who took bribes from Charles Keating and cynically took on campaign finance reform as his signature issue so people would think he had reformed from bribe-taking.

    But for the Washington media, all a politician has to do is go against their party on one or two issues and they are "bipartisan" and deserve to be fellated.

    • lumpenprole

      Well, there was the Straight Talk Express Show in 2000. I knew at least one person who registered as an independent in order to vote for him in the CA primaries, which is what the TV said was happening all over the place. This friend sent me a whole bunch of impassioned emails about why McCain was such a great guy who was going to be a strong leader and blah blah blah blah. Same guy also got a raging 911 war boner for a few months, which also sickened me. So, never mind. I knew this excitable guy. The End.

  • SayItWithWookies

    …and who once told Torie Clarke that his favorite animal was the rat, because it is cunning and eats well.

    Did this respect for the rat come out of his years of captivity, where he probably had to interact with the horrid little beasts for his own survival? Or did it happen earlier when he was in a North Vietnamese prison camp?

    • Gopherit

      He said that out of professional courtesy.

      • Sue4466

        C'mon, let's be fair to rats here. They never suggested Sarah Palin was qualified to be president.

    • CapnFatback

      This explains his co-author credit for "Ben."

  • obfuscator2

    this is good news… for john mccain!

  • Gopherit

    After nearly inflicting Vice-President Palin on us, how can anyone have any further doubts that McCains is anything but a self-serving asshat?

  • natoslug

    Morals, schmorals. What's important is his position on Lady Gaga vs. Nancy Pelosi.

    • V572625694

      And what Pelosi would look like in a prosciutto dress.

  • mavenmaven

    guessing there will be a palin tweet that says something like:
    "vanity "fair" no fair there LSM against true merikun patriots, there they go again"

    • GeneralLerong

      Needs more "there, there."

  • North Vietnamese got the better end of the deal.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    John "Papillon" McCain is just another version of GWBush, except without enough money or political influence behind him to get him out of bombing the shit out of the Vietnamese.

    • Redhead

      You forgot the addition of years of senility.

    • Chet Kincaid

      Off the mark. Son and grandson of admirals, so "chickenhawk" was never an option.

  • V572625694

    Here are the words of a statesman when confronted by incontrovertible evidence of a fact he finds distasteful: "That's not the policy! That's not the policy! That's not the policy! That's not the policy!"…ad nauseum

    • GuyClinch

      God, when I saw that video clip you refer to I devoutly wanted to grab his arm and make him hit himself and say "Why are you hitting yourself?!" over and over. What an ass-hookah.

  • Badonkadonkette

    At the risk of losing all my pee-points, I have always respected John McCain for his military service, especially when compared to a privileged cowardly douche like George W. Bush, who shat himself at the thought of serving in the military, but swaggered and said "bring it on" from thousands of miles behind the most powerful military in the world, which he carelessly put in harm's way for no better reason than to settle an old pissing match between his dad and the tyrant his dad supported back in the day. And that just makes McCain's total putrefaction all the more impressive. You'd think someone who had gone through what he went through would deserve some sympathy or loyalty, but no, he's managed to shed every last hint of dignity and become a complete and utter fuckwad.

    • V572625694

      You get a thumb-up from me, but perhaps you don't know that fighter pilots are the most spoiled, privileged persons in the military, and it is thus not surprising that the son of an admiral would find himself trained to be one, probably taking up a place in the very-expensive flight school of some less-well-connected but equally worthy officer candidate.

      There's no denying he exhibited courage in his captivity though, although it seems there was some swift-boat-style caviling about it during the campaign.

      And you're absolutely right about that other fighter pilot, GWB. It takes less courage to drop bombs on the enemy than it does to fight them on the ground, but it still takes some. But going AWOL and getting away with it because Daddy's a rich oilman is monumentally contemptible.

      • JMPEsq

        Equally worthy? Anyone who graduated from the Naval Academy with McCain would be more worthy, since every single other one of them had a better GPA. One would almost suspect he shouldn't have graduated but got special treatment for being the son of an admiral.

        • V572625694

          You're so right. Plus ROTC grads, OCS guys, etc. The military's about as close to a meritocracy as there is in government and business, but it sure ain't perfect. His daddy was CINCPA,C which is a better job than even the nominally-higher Chief of Staff of the Navy, because you actually have operational control of cool shit, like your son's fighter squadron.

      • transfatz

        The A10 warthog is not a "fighter". He had to be rescued or he would have been dismembered by the villagers he was bombing and strafing.
        The only thing GWB piloted however was a rolled up $20 bill.

  • Redhead

    You're telling me that the man who once told his wife, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt!" and made jokes about women enjoying rape might be ruthless and self-centered?

    Well I'll be. Next thing you'll be telling me that Glenn Beck's tears are fake and that Sarah Palin doesn't really write her books and speeches.

    • Badonkadonkette

      "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt!"

      We're talking about Cindy McCain. That goes in the plus column.

  • psilage

    know what your problem is? you lubruls don't like… winners!

    • JMPEsq

      Winners like John McCain?

    • DoctorAwesomus

      Winners. Winners. Winners like…North Vietnam?

  • nounverb911

    Let's not forget that he is a Panamanian too!

  • Mumbletypeg

    As DF Wallace pointed out in McCain's Promise, you could argue McCain straddled a threshold in time when directness, antagonizing of his party's priorities and other "maverick" qualities were enabling him to connect with many voters including a lot of independents, several of my friends among them, or like Wallace himself. If McCain failed for lack of solid moral grounding, it's also a sad picture of what happens when such platforms as his “Straight Talk” approach get devoured by the political and media machines. Other than spitting out a mangled limb or two of intact integrity (like during his admonishment of the town hall woman freaking out over Obama's "Arab" lineage), I never got past a feeling he suffered his worst loss of dignity when surrendering any higher minded instincts to his handlers, advisors and the same party he’d once stood up to. Now all we have to thank for his opening the door to Maverick Mentality is a bimbo on wheels who defines it as “my way, or you’ll pay.”

    • Chet Kincaid

      The "Maverick Mentality" now means brazenly forwarding emails that everyone across the spectrum of human decency would find disgusting, and still getting the nomination of a major party. So let's see how dead it is come November. (The only silver lining of this is that, in a world where a Paladino is a credible candidate, cowardly democrats should never have to explain or apologize for anything they have said or done.)

    • V572625694

      I always remember during his 2000 run when he was asked if South Carolina should be allowed to fly the Confederate flag over its capitol. His right-off-the-top instinctive answer was, "No, it's a symbol of racism and offensive to many people." That John McCain was a good guy!

      And then the next day he started to walk it back. Contemptible.

  • 7pilesofwisdom

    But the scariest thing of all is: compared to many Arizona Repubs, he's practically Fightin' Bob LaFollette.

  • lulzmonger

    Wet-Start McCain sold his soul way back in 2000, when he had sexy huggy-time in public with the fratboy who'd just rat-fucked him out of running for POTUS, & decided to be a "team player" for the worst bucket of human scum in American political history.

    Perhaps the press had that wool pulled over their eyes because he was buying them all fucking spa treatments & pedicures in 2008, when he wasn't inviting them to out to his ranch for BBQ ribs? Remember the "journalist" ending their "interview" by offering him his favorite donuts? "Ooh, sprinkles!"

    Just think – a few percent voting the other way, & he could've done for America what he did for the USS Forrestal.

  • Gorilllionaire

    I'd bet his daughter's pube shirt that he sits around thinking about running for pres again all the time.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Politics is so much easier if you don't have a soul.

  • Cloud Strife

    But hold on a minute. I like to resurrect dead threads, yes. McCain was beyond critique when Trump lambasted him for being captured. A pretty shitty thing to say I agree but the left were sudden McCain fans when it became convenient.

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