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Who knew we'd be fighting Monkeys and also Losing in ten years?

  • Happy “Whoops, We Invaded Afghanistan” Day! (Of course, back then it was called “Operation Enduring Hooray We ‘Liberated’ Afghanistan from the Towelheads.”) Nine years ago today, America sat on its XXL fundillo and “channel surfed” for cool night-vision footage of Kabul exploding and CNN cellphone camera videos of Army Rangers killing (“liberating”) things. Everyone loved this “good war” so much, because Afghanistan was harboring a terrorist and what’s up with that. What are you supposed to get America for its almost-tenth wedding anniversary? Tin? So you should probably FedEx Karzai a tinfoil hat, so he’ll have something nice to wear/deflect alien death rays with when he surrenders to the Taliban, tomorrow. [Truthout]
  • “Government scientists wanted to tell Americans early on how bad the BP oil spill could get, but the White House denied their request to make the worst-case models public.” Stay classy, White House! [McClatchy]
  • Obamacare will make a special exception for McDonald’s or any other megadeath Lard Conglomerate that doesn’t actually want to give its employees health care. [NYT]
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