ISLAND OF MISFIT SEX TOYS  5:22 pm October 6, 2010

Congressional Candidate Regrets Sucking Reindeer Dildo

by Jack Stuef

This is what taxpayers want! Elect this woman!There is, remarkably, a 28-year-old woman who is running for Congress from Virginia named Krystal Ball (JESUS CHRIST, BAD PARENTS). As we have, apparently, noted in the past, this woman is quite attractive, in terms of fornication. But we wrote that before photos showed up on the Internet of her fellating a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dildo on her then-husband’s face at a Christmas party. Will Krystal Ball be the first dildo-fellating member of Congress? No, certainly not! Probably every current member of Congress has done this. But it’s still fun to see, right? Especially when there are quite a few of these photos?

Krystal Ball has responded by saying it’s really sexist to post these photos. Because it’s not sexist to post male members of Congress fellating dildos? We don’t understand. Let us enjoy these photos of you, lady. And if anyone has photos of any candidates for Congress, male or female, sucking on dildos, please send them along.

Stairway to Heaven

HEY! THAT WOMAN IS NOT HIS WIFE!

Here, Ball is contemplating what her position on capital punishment will be.

Aww, they seemed so happy together. Why did they divorce?

If anything, that last one is sexist. Men are not animals you can simply exploit for your enjoyment at holiday parties, Ball. Or maybe they are, if you want them to be. [TBD/Gawker/BVBL]

 
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{ 155 comments }

LionelHutzEsq October 6, 2010 at 5:25 pm

I'd be her animal any day.

Beanball October 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Aaoo00gaah !

Lucidamente1 October 6, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Now we know why Rudolph had a very shiny nose, at least in Virginia's 1st Congressional District.

Lazy Media October 6, 2010 at 5:26 pm

How come her ex-"husband" is a 17-year-old lesbian?

sherriawilson October 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Good eye, Lindsey Graham looks very youthful in that shot.

paizogony October 7, 2010 at 10:19 am

I love that you noticed that. I'm waiting for the Kagan-Graham show on CSPAN.

loquacioustunes October 6, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I know. He looks like Sara Lee, the bassist for B-52s.

facehead October 6, 2010 at 5:26 pm

I know Wonkette is not in the habit of endorsing political candidates, but can Wonkette PWEEZ endorse this one?

How else will we win the war on Christmas?

If she wins with Wonkette's endorsement, 'the Wonkette bump' will come to mean so much more than snorting meth of the ass of a dead raccoon.

Jack Stuef October 6, 2010 at 6:48 pm

Click through to that first link. Newell endorsed her months ago.

grendelg October 6, 2010 at 10:33 pm

You know, this is how we got Sarah Palin. Be careful what you wish for.

Advn2rgirl October 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

She's actually a CPA who, with her current husband, created the software that runs the Leap Frog learning toys everyone buys their little kids. They also make software for distance learning for girls in India. She met him while working to straighten out the accounting systems for the federal courts. Palin, she ain't.

Rarian Rakista October 7, 2010 at 7:11 pm

So she is like one of us, sans the angst?

LionelHutzEsq October 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm

In fairness to Ms. Ball, Ted Kennedy did this all the time, and he was the Lion of the Senate.

(And, yes, Jack, very bad parents indeed).

GunTotingProgressive October 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm

His nose looks awfully short… I'm just saying.

JustPixelz October 6, 2010 at 7:24 pm

I guess the old saying "big antlers, big nose" is a myth.

obiwanacracker October 6, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Which means he's not going to get to join in many reindeer games.

NorthStarSpanx October 7, 2010 at 10:30 am

His penis has nose envy. Krystal too, also.

nounverb911 October 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Christine is that you? I guess you have no problem with helping others.

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:44 pm

I bet she could bang some legislators in California senseless.

Clancy_Pants October 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Woof! And she's a Democrat. Maybe I have a chance?

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:45 pm

She had my vote before I was aware of her party affiliation. Now that I know, for sure I am ready to campaign for her.

Lazy Media October 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Oh, there's something else for you to hate about lamestream America, Layne. The fact that obnoxiously risque costumery is required wear for all holiday parties. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1715915

LeDucViolet October 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Bill O'Reilly expressed his disgust on this morning's radio Factor: "Just another typical Democrat assault on Christmas & Christian values! Now pass me a vibrator so I can have steamy phone sex with my unwilling assistant."

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:48 pm

That limp dick motherfucker is just jealous he isn't getting a reindeer love.

Zvi_Bleindmeis October 6, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Reindeer Games, indeed.

kittylittr October 6, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Mrs. Joe Miller better watch her back, cuz this girl is gonna freak over his antlers.

V572625694 October 6, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Have you seen Mrs Joe the Miller? She looks like she's used to frequent abuse.

LionelHutzEsq October 6, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Still, this is what I like about Wonkette. I'm having a boring day at work, and after just a click on the Internet tubes, I have photos of a congressional candidate fellating her husband's dildo nose.

It makes me weep for the greatness of this country. Can you imagine if we got Ms. Ball and Ms. O'Donnell together? There is a debate we all would enjoy.

emmelemm October 6, 2010 at 6:49 pm

First of all, this is what makes America great.

Second of all, this is why they hate us.

Troubledog October 6, 2010 at 5:30 pm

And also, Virginia, how come your liquor stores have a big logo on the window of a white guy stomping a prone indian?

ph7 October 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Honoring the brave men who got our firewater back!

Lucidamente1 October 6, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Look at the doofus Republican incumbent she's running against. You can't tell me he hasn't spent some quality time with reindeer nose.

http://wittman.house.gov/index.php?option=com_joo

bumfug October 6, 2010 at 6:24 pm

Wow – the last thing a congressman wants to hear is "I've got those pictures of you at the Boy Scout Jamboree."

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Well his proclivities are now in question.

ph7 October 6, 2010 at 5:31 pm
slappypaddy October 6, 2010 at 5:52 pm

if that goes viral enough, it could costs democrats elections all across the country.

may we always live in such interesting times.

slappypaddy October 6, 2010 at 5:32 pm

pretty much sums up the difference between democrats and republicans. only democrats would suck fake dicks. republicans suck on the real ones.

LeDucViolet October 6, 2010 at 5:32 pm

If I were her campaign chairman, I'd run with it: "Elect Krystal Ball, furry proboscis fellatrix, to congress. She's not afraid to take up the reins & lead us to glory!"

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Krystal Ball, She Shares!

DashboardBuddha October 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

A few ladies I know say that the position of a man's penis is a design flaw. They suggest that a better place would be on the chin the the man can…err, you know at the same time as he…uhhh, that thing. The young man's costume in the picture seems to be addressing this issue, but still falls far short.

Salacious Crumb October 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm

hey! uh… nice tie!

MissTaken October 6, 2010 at 8:54 pm

the costume ain't the only thing falling short

indecencycmdr October 6, 2010 at 11:43 pm

this is actually a fantasy of mine. to do both, at once. if only. aim to please ya!

spooked911 October 7, 2010 at 8:39 am

methinks that in a 69 position, the dildo nose would be in the right position… probably needs to be attached a little more securely though!

nounverb911 October 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Christine, do unto others as you would them do unto you (or something like that).

jus_wonderin October 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Is she giving him an NJ as well??

Seriously though, that's just a gherkin. Tap my shoulder when she gobbles a zucchini.

Rotundo_ October 6, 2010 at 5:34 pm

She will no doubt immediately bail on the election and they will elect some very closeted republican guy who will "restore honor" to Virginia. And then the pictures of him and 20 of his closest friends (their penises, actually) in some rest stop glory hole reinacting her christmas celebration in a much more literal sense will be published thereby restoring karmic balance to the world for a small moment. The End.

Rotundo_ October 6, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I stand corrected, scratch the rest stop gloryhole, said opponent went to the 2010 National BoyScout Jamboree. The size of the reindeer nose would also be in proportion as well.

Waiting for the Karmic Explosion, Play us out Keyboard Cat…

Lascauxcaveman October 6, 2010 at 6:29 pm

And two years later, he'll get re-elected, having since accepted Jesus as his personal savior.

WarAndGee October 6, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Sing along…

It's the most wonderful time- of the yeeeeear,
Cleavage is showing,
and noses are blowing,
Reindeer looking queeeeeeer,

It's the most wonderful time- of the yeeeeear,

SudsMcKenzie October 6, 2010 at 5:38 pm

At least we know she's a Christian.

PalinPussyPower October 6, 2010 at 5:38 pm

I would have voted for her based on the name alone, but the dildo now warrants a full blown campaign donation.

loquacioustunes October 6, 2010 at 8:59 pm

"Full blown" indeed.

ph7 October 6, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Her wikipedia entry needs updating. It says she's still married, makes no mention of the reindeer dildo, and, most important of all, is missing a profile pic. Any skilled volunteers?

Advn2rgirl October 7, 2010 at 12:11 am

She is married – to a different guy. He's cuter and harder to picture on a leash. Pretty sure that's a campaign plus.

deelzebub October 6, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Krystal Ball sounds like a porn name.

xzargo October 6, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Well, she is sucking a nose dildo….

Rarian Rakista October 7, 2010 at 7:20 pm

How else do you celebrate the birthday of the Christian godchild?

hooray4anything October 6, 2010 at 5:41 pm

This could be a good thing for her because my guess is that male voter's opinion of her are going to go up.

NorthStarSpanx October 7, 2010 at 10:39 am

It's get old real quick when all her constituents show up with reindeer noses at her office.

Rarian Rakista October 7, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Thats what the Christian God created young go-getter interns for, to fuck the uglies.

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Yes yes yes Virginia — oh god oh god yes Virginia…

Tundra Grifter October 6, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Yes, Santa Claus, there is a Virginia…

nappyduggs October 6, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Today, we all want "nose jobs."

elviouslyqueer October 6, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Multiple alt-text wins, Jack. Also, one gets the feeling that Ball's ex-hubby has more than a passing familiarity with dildos.

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:55 pm

He does have the appearance of a cuckold. The chain around his neck says sex swing and strap-ons to me.

Extemporanus October 7, 2010 at 2:51 am

The hanger headline alone is so efficiently effective that it could inspire Hermey himself to ditch dentistry in favor of a sweaty stint in Santa's secret workshop.

savethispatient October 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

bitchincamaro2 October 6, 2010 at 5:55 pm

You beat me to it. Hehe.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Yes, vagina, there is a "Sanchez" clause!

Mort_Sinclair October 6, 2010 at 5:50 pm

I am certain that Mama Ball will instruct her daughter, Ella, currently 2, on the fit and proper way to service the erect sexual organs of men. She can put those pics in Ella's baby book for future reference.

If she had a brain, a train of thought something like this would have occurred to her: Hmmm…..I think I'll run for Congress. No, wait a minute. There are pictures of me blowing a dildo on my ex-husband's face at that party. I wonder who else has copies of those pictures? Could they get out and embarrass me at some point in the campaign? Might they be splashed in the media? Never mind. Running for Congress = bad idea.

SheriffRoscoe October 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Yawn. "Practice Version" dildos are hardly anything to stand up and cheer about.

DemmeFatale October 6, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Meh. Kids these days post worse stuff on their Facebook pages.
(And where are the obligatory shots of two drunken girls touching tongues and holding red cups?)

savethispatient October 6, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Give it 10 years, then every politician will have stuff like this leaked from their facebook pages. And if they didn't do anything embarrassing in college, then I will definitely not vote for the in-human weirdo.

In fact, there'll be campaign videos: look how crazy was I was in college. Vote for me! SaveThisPatient for Congress! Your candidate for the Party Animal Party.

ChuckieJesus October 6, 2010 at 6:29 pm

In the future, they won't be asking whether or not we inhaled, but whether or not we "swallowed". – Chuckie Jesus, circa 1988.

JoeMamased October 6, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Sure, she dabbled into nose-dildo fellatio when she was younger, but she's not a witch! In fact, she's you, obvs., 'cause I seen teh pix.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 6:14 pm

'Tis a shame Krystal Kringle only comes but once a year:

"A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And filled up my 'stocking'; then turned with a jerk,
And laying her finger aside of my 'nose',
And giving a nod, up my 'chimney' she rose…"

Chet Kincaid October 6, 2010 at 9:44 pm

I'm hearing Chuck Berry singing this to the tune of "Johnnie B. Good".

Extemporanus October 7, 2010 at 2:22 am

♪♫ Blow, blow!
Blow, Krystal
Blow, blow!
♪♫

Tobacky October 6, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Pathetic! You can't go to a party and act juvenile and pervy with your own husband?? I call bullshit. I hate that you can't have any fucking fun at parties anymore if you are in the political field. Any party worth having should not have cameras present. Or better yet, people should get the hell over it.

When do you think that the general public will adjust to our insta-photo on line culture and stop believing that they can't vote for anyone at all who knows how to have fun.

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Really it is the olds who feel this way. And they are just pissed that no one is fellating their nose.

Advn2rgirl October 7, 2010 at 12:18 am

I say we call it the Michael Phelps Clause.

Rarian Rakista October 7, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I have 3 great aunts in the same old folk's home; these women have not had sex since the 1980's and every year they are wheeled down to the polling station to vote Republican because they hate young people, literally. One cannot remember any of their children's names because she refuses to speak them since they are all divorced.

MiniMencken October 6, 2010 at 6:15 pm

It seems to me that the dildo in question is a copy of a circumcised membrum virile. How do we know it is not a Muslin Terror-Dildo (after all, of the 30% of men in the world who are circumcised, a full 68% are Muslins!) and that these photo files do not contain encrypted instructions to sleeper cells? And why you are distributing them, thus acting as a cyber cut-out? Huh? Answer me that, Ms. Smarty-Harem-Pants Wonkette!

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Forgive the link to you-know-who, but I think her response is pretty awesome:

"It's sexist and it's wrong, regardless of political party," Ball said in her statement. "And I have a message for any young woman who is thinking about running for office and has ever attended a costume party with her husband or done anything stupid on camera. Run for office. Fight for this country. Don't let this sort of tactic deter you."

"Of course, I am embarrassed by these photos,that was the whole point of these political operatives when they put them up. But more than just embarrassed, I'm angry!," Ball continues. "I'm angry that when we are suffering from high unemployment, record budget deficits and a broken education system, that crass political operatives will resort to the politics of personal destruction when they can't talk about the issues."

twogoats October 6, 2010 at 6:24 pm

Yeah, she hasn't got a chance in Hell (another name for VA-1); she never did, but I like her response.

edgydrifter October 6, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Ooooooor, you could resist the urge to cram a dildo into your gullet on camera if you thought a run for political office might be in your immediate future.

emmelemm October 6, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Wasn't that the plot of the movie "The Contender"?

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 7:00 pm

I love her response, she may be a strange one, a democrat with a spine.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Krystal Ball sure as hell ain't afraid to wield her punishing nose dildo mallet.

hooray4anything October 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Don't you mess with Mama Dildo Kissers

thecryingeagle October 6, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Today we are all holiday dildos.

loquacioustunes October 6, 2010 at 9:02 pm

"…crass political operatives will resort to the politics of personal destruction when they can't talk about the issues."

And "issue" rhymes with "tissue," a box of which your ex-husband keeps on his bedside table, right next to the Lubriderm.

PresBeeblebrox October 6, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Response needs moar aphorisms.

Gopherit October 7, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I dunno. Krystal, can't undo this, so she might as well own it. Tell us it was a hell of a great party. Don't claim embarrassment. They get what they want that way. The rest of her quote is spot on.

twoeightnine October 6, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Her form has improved recently.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/electoral-math/38265

Tundra Grifter October 6, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Why is the Receptionist from The Office standing behind her?

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2010 at 10:02 pm

That's Natalia Rudiak, Dem City Council candidate in Pittsburgh. No, I didn't do any research, it was the picture next to the one above. Hottie for the people!

Beowoof October 6, 2010 at 7:01 pm

It only shows that she has encountered larger ones since her marriage ended.

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Unattached ones as well.

Limeylizzie October 6, 2010 at 6:21 pm

May I just say, I adore the sexy men of Wonkette.

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Now if you could only find a place where you can spend those p-points.

BeWoot October 7, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Thank you. I for one feel the same about you.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Geez, and I thought Debbie Wasserman Schultz was a bad handle.

DrunkenPalmetto October 6, 2010 at 6:45 pm

I'd like to have some hot legislative floor action with her.

PuckStopsHere October 6, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Krystal Ball is great and I'm gonna let her finish, but this is the best Wonkette headline of all time.

Tundra Grifter October 6, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Remember "The Complete Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide?" It had a chapter "How to Fend off a Charging Raindeer."

I thought that was really silly until I saw the video of the Chrismas-time TV reporter attacked by a "pet' raindeer.

Bet she wished she read the book.

Meanwhile, what do does in the Artic do for fun? They go to the Elks Club and blow a few bucks.

PhilippePetain October 6, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Her husband sucks.

Sassomatic October 6, 2010 at 7:15 pm

I swear, the War on Christmas starts earlier every year.

SayItWithWookies October 7, 2010 at 12:31 am

Just like Ramadan. Holy shit…

Guppy06 October 6, 2010 at 7:25 pm

A political candidate with a libido? What is this country coming to?!

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm

♪♫ And if you ever saw it
You would even say she blows…♫♫

seppdecker October 6, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Will Krystal Ball be the first dildo-fellating member of Congress?

Are you saying she'll be caucusing with Lindsey Graham?

JoeMamased October 6, 2010 at 7:33 pm

Or her first name could have been "Schwetty."

JustPixelz October 6, 2010 at 7:33 pm

Looks like she also blew the election.

Gleem_McShineys October 6, 2010 at 7:41 pm

I am guessing the backlash here is that she is not depicted as trying to suck off one of the Founding Fathers? Because the press usually seems to fawn over that kind of display for all other candidates.

CapnFatback October 6, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Santa may come only once a year, but I'm assuming Rudolph kept a more recurrent schedule.

mull_man October 6, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Disappointing. I'd expect someone named Krystal Ball to have anticipated this. Also, that I'm not her husband. Now can she please marry Billy Crystal?

Dr_pangloss October 6, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Congresswoman Kyrstal Ball (LNS- Virginia).

lel2007 October 6, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I recall some republican politician getting ousted for take a "wide stance" in an airport toilet. Still, nothing compared to Teddy Kennedy's antics with the girls, he even drown one and never skip a political beat. The drunken old lech spent his weekends in his unda-pants chasing the young girls the kids brought home to rape.

indecencycmdr October 6, 2010 at 11:50 pm

Mark Foley.

rocktonsam October 6, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Thats just Tuesday morning at Fox News.

PresBeeblebrox October 6, 2010 at 9:03 pm

…like the fist of an angry god.

Extemporanus October 7, 2010 at 2:25 am

Nice John Edwards sex reference, Pres!

SystemError October 6, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Well, now I know what happened to the youngest kid from Growing Pains.

Redhead October 6, 2010 at 9:32 pm

"Men are not animals you can simply exploit for your enjoyment at holiday parties"
No, that's what women are for. Green balloons! Green balloons!

lulzmonger October 6, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Americans should be overjoyed that there's solid documentary evidence proving that a 2010 candidate is fully qualified to serve in Congress. Bobbing knobs isn't exactly an elective in DC, to put it mildly.

Now I want to hear about bumper-stickers appearing that read, "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M VOTING FOR THE DILDO-SUCKER."

JMPEsq October 6, 2010 at 11:12 pm

I used to like to walk the straight and narrow line
I used to think that everything was fine
Sometimes I'd like to sit and gaze for days through sleepless dreams
All alone and trapped in time
All alone and trapped in time

I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me
Or am I even in it's mind at all
Perhaps I'll get a chance to look ahead and see
Soon as I find myself a Krystal Ball
Soon as I find myself a Krystal Ball

hagajim October 7, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Nice Styx reference

nachoproblem October 6, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Jesus Christ, if you can't fellate your own husband's reindeer nose-dildo, then whose reindeer nose-dildo can you fellate?

Wait a minute, did you say "then-husband?" *Schwing*

WALLYPIP October 6, 2010 at 11:37 pm

This Krystal Ball is a poseur and pretender. Sarah Palin blows real reindeer.

indecencycmdr October 6, 2010 at 11:43 pm

shutters go on windows. you are shuddering. you shudder to think. it used to be a band. or a song. this is why we are losing the 'not' war on terror.

jus_wonderin October 7, 2010 at 8:00 am

Argh. I bet jus_wonderin feels like a dumb ass right now. I guess he could edit that, but he'd look more dumb assy.

BaldarTFlagass October 7, 2010 at 8:43 am

Cut him some slack. He was watching Shudder Island and diggin on Leo, bit of a distraction.

neiltheblaze October 6, 2010 at 11:52 pm

When those pictures were taken she probably thought, "Aw, fuck it, it's not like I'm running for Congress, right?".

The church ladies of her district will be aghast. The church fathers…..let's just say they might have some second thoughts in the privacy of the voting booth.

transfatz October 7, 2010 at 4:51 am

I'll bet he had the horns on before he put them on.

transfatz October 7, 2010 at 5:03 am

"Men are not animals you can simply exploit for your enjoyment at holiday parties"
Oink. We aren't? You can't? Then you can't blame me, I didn't know (goes back to rooting).

BaldarTFlagass October 7, 2010 at 7:20 am

I've never seen one of those. Where can I get a nose-dildo? In addition to being the hit of the office Christmas party, I reckon I could double-dip and go as Pinocchio for Halloween.

Eve8Apples October 7, 2010 at 10:07 am

It's the whore on Christmas!

Someone alert Bill O'Reilly, stat.

thefrontpage October 7, 2010 at 11:03 am

I dated this Krystal Ball for several months–she's really hot.

And I think I also dated and slept with Krystal Balls in Miami, Vegas, L.A., Manhattan, Fresno, Oregon, Bismarck, Orlando, Baltimore (on the Block), D.C. (Good Guys), and possibly in Tijuana.

thefrontpage October 7, 2010 at 11:04 am

Krystal Meth!!!!

That's hilarious!

thefrontpage October 7, 2010 at 11:05 am

Please post more Krystal Ball internets pictures!

FoxyO_Wiley October 7, 2010 at 11:39 am

Christmas bah-humbug! Where are the Halloween pics with the candy corns??

guerillanation October 7, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Surely she could have predicted these would come out. I mean, you have to believe she saw it coming …

Truculent October 7, 2010 at 1:10 pm

What a lucky guy. Can I drive your sleigh tonight?

guerillanation October 7, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Surely she could have predicted these would come out. I mean, you'd think she would have seen it coming.

Advn2rgirl October 7, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Tidewater, baby: Williamsburg, Yorktown, Gloucester, Mathews, the Northern Neck, on up to Fredericksburg. Come on down – we'll put you up in the guest room.

ReturnToMetal October 7, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me / or am I even in it's mind at all / perhaps I'll get a chance to look ahead and see / soon as I find my self someone to suck on the dildo I have on my nose …

Yeah, doesn't quite work. (With apologies to Styx)

Triscuits October 8, 2010 at 12:08 am

Eh, she looks like a lot of fun. And like a very dominant woman, which is I'm sure the main point of contention her opponents have against her.

realmurkin October 8, 2010 at 12:14 am

Needs moar makeup.

schvitzatura October 8, 2010 at 2:57 am

They're a couple of misfits
They're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where they fit in!

King Moonracer gave Hermey special liberty from the Island of (Adult) Misfit Toys, for a night of cross-dressing debauchery with Miss Krystal Ball…

schvitzatura October 8, 2010 at 5:54 am

Oh Krystal-ina everything's political
You're the butterfly goddess
Floating down streams of love jetting sperm fountains

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP5pEqhV5PU

Refudiation October 9, 2010 at 12:02 am

I was on the fence until these pictures showed up — when's the next Team Krystal meeting, again?

Woman China October 11, 2010 at 8:50 am

YAY!!!!! She is human!!!!! I say have fun while you are still alive enough to laugh at yourself!!!!

johnnymeatworth October 12, 2010 at 10:53 am

Damn, just when she'd done something I could get behind….

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